Lets face it boys & girls.

We have all done it from time to time. Made complete ass of ourselves.

Put it down here in completely anonimously so we can all have a laugh at your expense & you get to feel good by letting it out.

If you have allways been a little angel, tell us the story of a friend who has let loose & created mayhem. We all have many friends who have managed to foobar a good social situation.

I'll start for obvious reasons.....

When I was a lad of only 18 years of age I got busted for drink driving..... on a private property!

Heavy night at the disco, twenty odd bourbon & cokes.

Too drunk to score, hey lets go & buy hotdogs said my friend. No problems matey - Lets just take the VK 5.0 litre Commodore for a spin round the corner.

Parked on the sixth floor of a car park, fired up the beast, foot off the clutch, pedal to the metal & bagging em up. Noise, smoke, & <deleted>? Flashing blue lights. Shit!

OK Sonny Jim. Get out of the car! Park it over there. "No problems orrifacer." Take off, momentarily lost my vision & drove straight into the parking barrier. Ooops.

Have you been drinking tonight. "No offisler, not a drop, hrronest!"

All to the applause of fifty odd onlookers. Its the drunk tank for you Sonny Jim, lets go. Going home in the back of a divvy van. Embarassed!

Get to the station, drunk tank is full, "get out of here you idiot, heres your keys & don't drive again this evening!".

Oh the things we do when we are young & dumb.....

Anyone else up for posting a revealing moment? Go ahead, make my day!

Cheers.

Put it down here in completely anonimously so we can all have a laugh at your expense & you get to feel good by letting it out.

I know where to find you.....

Put it down here in completely anonimously so we can all have a laugh at your expense & you get to feel good by letting it out.

I know where to find you.....

But hopefully I haven't made an ass out myself in front of you, yet!

Drinking with Buckwheat is guaranteed to put you on your arse, unless your name is errr.... Buckwheat.

I was drinking heavily with him until the small hours of the morning in a busy soi in Pattaya.

Standing up from my bar stool I staggered backwards and fell flat on my arse, I was so drunk I couldn't get back up again.

I had to kind of roll and crawl away, what a state.

I still can't remember getting home that night, but the neighbours helped me as they saw me come down the street bouncing from wall to wall.

Embarrasing? You bet.

A pal was driving out past the airport in Dublin late one night when he saw a few cars on the hard shoulder and a few guys queuing up at this van.

Well he fancied some chips the way you would on the way home from the pub so he screeched to a halt , backed up , got out of the car and joined the queue.

Trouble was it was a police van offering a one-stop breathalyser service.

They were very obliging and fitted him in to their busy schedule.

Drinking with Buckwheat is guaranteed to put you on your arse, unless your name is errr.... Buckwheat.

I was drinking heavily with him until the small hours of the morning in a busy soi in Pattaya.

Standing up from my bar stool I staggered backwards and fell flat on my arse, I was so drunk I couldn't get back up again.

I had to kind of roll and crawl away, what a state.

I still can't remember getting home that night, but the neighbours helped me as they saw me come down the street bouncing from wall to wall.

Embarrasing? You bet.

Jeez Rob,

I apologize....I thought you were breakdancing

I'll tell you mine when you're older.

You are lucky nothing serious happened to you or others Soundman due to your drink driving. A sobering tale rather than a funny one imo.

You are lucky nothing serious happened to you or others Soundman due to your drink driving. A sobering tale rather than a funny one imo.

I've never made an ass of myself.

I am a <deleted> saint with bells on.

Well , just to wind up Saint Eek a bit more :

Decades ago , when I was working in Dublin , I left the office about 5.30pm with the lads , direction pub.

We came out of there a tad after midnight , and I thought I might be a liggle bid pished for motoring so I hit off on foot looking for a taxi.

I walked the mile to Stephen's Green and the mile back without success.

It's November so I am now half frozen.

I got in the car and drove very slowly and very carefully the 20 miles home.

I was a little too elated when I arrived at the house so I swung in too quick and caught the undercarriage on the edge of the fence.

The door flew open and there was her indoors in her nightgown.

She was yelling something like "blah blah about to call the police blah blah".

I just hopped out of the car and said , as I passed , "Yes love , but I'm busting for a p1ss (which I was) , could you ever park that a bit better".

She probably would have run up the stairs after me with a blunt instrument but I'd omitted to apply the handbrake and she saw the car start to roll backwards.

Catching the car , stopping it and parking it kept her occupied for long enough for me to do the necessary in the toilet and pass into total unconsciousness in the bed.

Good story FS.

No need to be an ass FS. I wasnt wound up by Soundmans story, nor meaning to come across as overly judgemental. We all make mistakes. I personally just dont get why drink driving stories are considered funny and I think for good reasons.

No need to be an ass FS. I wasnt wound up by Soundmans story, nor meaning to come across as overly judgemental. We all make mistakes. I personally just dont get why drink driving stories are considered funny and I think for good reasons.

OK Eeky baby , here's an old one I posted where I didn't go near a car.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?s=...t&p=1038978

could you ever park that a bit better".

She probably would have run up the stairs after me with a blunt instrument but I'd omitted to apply the handbrake and she saw the car start to roll backwards.

Catching the car , stopping it and parking it kept her occupied for long enough for me to do the necessary in the toilet and pass into total unconsciousness in the bed.

:D

Moss

ok....here comes mine....

Must have been about 1985, school trip to Vienna, just before graduation.

We went to one of the "Heurigen", the local wine pubs.

From my own scattered memories, I apparently tried to teach that accordion lady how to play "All Along The Watchtower". With little success, I must admit.

From the memories of the others (total black out on my side at that point), on the way back I emptied my stomach just after we got out of the tram while stumbling behind the others, trying to catch up with them. Then I also had to have a leak...and if there would not have been that shop window, I would have peed straight on the pizza of some guy on the other side of that window...

And for evidence, here's a pic of yours truly taken on the morning after...yes I WAS sick......

Oh Eek, lighten up a little.

Of course drink driving is totally irresponsible & stupid, although most of us have done it. The clown being an exception from the sound of things!

Sitting in the sun, smoking ciggarettes, drinking to excess, eating fatty foods, watching too much television, walking on the road etc is irresposible as well.

Anyway, since raro went first - here is a photo of me with the hangover from hel_l on Koh Samui.

Cheers.

US President George W Bush has mistaken the name of the conference he's travelled halfway around the world to attend, in front of a summit of business leaders in Sydney.

Mr Bush, in Australia to attend the APEC (Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation) summit of world leaders, took to the stage at the Sydney Opera House on Friday morning and thanked Prime Minister John Howard for his introduction and for being such a "kind host" for the OPEC (Organisation of Petroleum Exporting Countries) summit.

"I mean APEC summit," he said.

"I've been invited to the OPEC summit next year.

"The APEC summit."

The faux pas brought laughter from his audience inside the auditorium.

White House aides later said Bush was joking and would not, in fact, attend an OPEC summit.

Mr Bush also stumbled over his pronunciation of Jemaah Islamiah, the regional terror network.

And in another miscue, he botched the host country's name, referring to Mr Howard's visit to Iraq in 2006 as a thank you to "the Austrian troops there."

DOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! true story .... http://au.news.yahoo.com/070907/2/14dab.html

that was an easy victim, Khalll....we expected some more effort....

How about his dad? Threw up all over the PM of Japan at a state dinner there?

OK, since we are all telling youthful indiscretion embarrassing stories, I was 21, going to Uni and leaving campus when a guy drove by on a motorcycle, helmeted up wearing those furry UGG boots. I thought it was a good friend of mine (same boots, same body size) so I flagged him down and asked for a ride. He obliged, I hopped on. About halfway down the hill to town I realized it was NOT my friend Mike. Oops. Red faced, I got off at the next light. Ran into the guy at a party a week or so later, we had a good laugh about it and fortunately, he was cute too.

Oh Eek, lighten up a little.

Of course drink driving is totally irresponsible & stupid, although most of us have done it. The clown being an exception from the sound of things!

Sitting in the sun, smoking ciggarettes, drinking to excess, eating fatty foods, watching too much television, walking on the road etc is irresposible as well.

Anyway, since raro went first - here is a photo of me with the hangover from hel_l on Koh Samui.

Cheers.

Oh, I've got one or two tales, to be perfectly honest. (as if you couldn't imagine that)

Oh! Look at the time! must dash off to work now...

maybe later.

Youthful indiscretions with or without the benefit of alcohol are easy and most people use the excuse of "I was pissed as an owl when I .........". I have managed to make an ass of myself on numerous occasions. A cursory glance at my posts will provide plenty of evidence to support that

The faux pas I am about to relate happened just after I moved into my house in San Kamphaeng. I had started a job in the area as an engineer and was very quickly known in the village as one of the managers in the company. Half the workers come from within the village area and all my neighbours etc knew who I was before they had actually even spoken to me.

Early one Sunday morning I put my washing in the machine and went back to bed to read a book. I was living in the house on my own and the front doors were shut and locked with a latch bolt. The washing finished and I got up to hang it on the clothes rack at the back of the house. I didn't bother to put on any clothes because the back area is closed in and I don't have any houses behind me. Walked out the back door with the washing basket and thought Umm better put on a sarong just in case. I put the washing basket down just inside the door, turned around to grab the sarong and the wind caught the back door slamming it shut. I then realised the sarong wasn't there, the clothes basket was inside, the back door was locked from the inside with my keys, and I was naked outside my house. I then looked up and saw my next door neighbour standing out the back of her house staring at me in all my splendour. I pushed on the back door in a vain hope that it would miraculously open but ahhhh no not going to happen. Only option was to sprint around to the front door which opened inwards and I could spring off their latch. Ran around the side, saying hello to my still staring neighbour and around the front to suddenly see standing in front of my house a group of neighbours offering food to two monks directly in front of my gate. They spotted me as I charged the front door - hit it shoulder first and the doors flung inwards. I then slamed them shut behind me and stepped back I was just about to breathe a sigh of relief when the doors swung open again and I was standing on the inside with everyone looking at me with total disbelief on their faces. I grabbed the doors and shut them again and the relatched them closed. As I stood their I suddenly heard everyone start to laugh and I couldn't help but also laugh at my own stupidity.

By Monday morning the story was well known in the factory and every now and then since that time someone will make a quiet reference to it. My neighbours who saw it still laugh about it and those that missed out ask me to do a repeat performance.

Since then I never walk outside unless I have on at least a pair of shorts and a set of keys.

CB

Well done CB, well done!

Talk about making a grand entrance.

Youthful indiscretions with or without the benefit of alcohol are easy and most people use the excuse of "I was pissed as an owl when I .........". I have managed to make an ass of myself on numerous occasions. A cursory glance at my posts will provide plenty of evidence to support that

The faux pas I am about to relate happened just after I moved into my house in San Kamphaeng. I had started a job in the area as an engineer and was very quickly known in the village as one of the managers in the company. Half the workers come from within the village area and all my neighbours etc knew who I was before they had actually even spoken to me.

Early one Sunday morning I put my washing in the machine and went back to bed to read a book. I was living in the house on my own and the front doors were shut and locked with a latch bolt. The washing finished and I got up to hang it on the clothes rack at the back of the house. I didn't bother to put on any clothes because the back area is closed in and I don't have any houses behind me. Walked out the back door with the washing basket and thought Umm better put on a sarong just in case. I put the washing basket down just inside the door, turned around to grab the sarong and the wind caught the back door slamming it shut. I then realised the sarong wasn't there, the clothes basket was inside, the back door was locked from the inside with my keys, and I was naked outside my house. I then looked up and saw my next door neighbour standing out the back of her house staring at me in all my splendour. I pushed on the back door in a vain hope that it would miraculously open but ahhhh no not going to happen. Only option was to sprint around to the front door which opened inwards and I could spring off their latch. Ran around the side, saying hello to my still staring neighbour and around the front to suddenly see standing in front of my house a group of neighbours offering food to two monks directly in front of my gate. They spotted me as I charged the front door - hit it shoulder first and the doors flung inwards. I then slamed them shut behind me and stepped back I was just about to breathe a sigh of relief when the doors swung open again and I was standing on the inside with everyone looking at me with total disbelief on their faces. I grabbed the doors and shut them again and the relatched them closed. As I stood their I suddenly heard everyone start to laugh and I couldn't help but also laugh at my own stupidity.

By Monday morning the story was well known in the factory and every now and then since that time someone will make a quiet reference to it. My neighbours who saw it still laugh about it and those that missed out ask me to do a repeat performance.

Since then I never walk outside unless I have on at least a pair of shorts and a set of keys.

CB

do people at tuskers know about this ?

were any pictures taken?

just read it for the wife, she loved the story, too!

Doing stupid things whilst drunk is one thing but driving whilst under the influence is another. Im sorry if I dont see the "light side" of drink driving, esp seeing as around 6 months ago my friends teenage son was killed due to some idiot driving drunk. Was also in a car accident many years back caused by some boy racers messing about one night who lost control speeding up to us at the traffic lights and plowed into us. Luckly my partner and I got off with only whiplash and a car write-off. I am tolerant and accepting of most things, prefering to see the lighter side of life, but some things I cannot see the funny side of and one of those is drink driving. As you say, many have been guilty of it in their life, and what is done is done, but I find jokes about it crass. If i hear someone start tell a story about a time when they were caught/had an accident/etc whilst driving drunk, I can only stare in disbelief. If that means i have no humour or fail to see the light side of it. So be it Im afraid.

Do not mean to mess up the fun side of this thread, sorry and please carry on, ive said my peace. :/

Doing stupid things whilst drunk is one thing but driving whilst under the influence is another. Im sorry if I dont see the "light side" of drink driving, esp seeing as around 6 months ago my friends teenage son was killed due to some idiot driving drunk. Was also in a car accident many years back caused by some boy racers messing about one night who lost control speeding up to us at the traffic lights and plowed into us. Luckly my partner and I got off with only whiplash and a car write-off. I am tolerant and accepting of most things, prefering to see the lighter side of life, but some things I cannot see the funny side of and one of those is drink driving. As you say, many have been guilty of it in their life, and what is done is done, but I find jokes about it crass. If i hear someone start tell a story about a time when they were caught/had an accident/etc whilst driving drunk, I can only stare in disbelief. If that means i have no humour or fail to see the light side of it. So be it Im afraid.

Do not mean to mess up the fun side of this thread, sorry and please carry on, ive said my peace. :/

OK! Accepted. No argument from me. Probably not the most socially acceptable way to start a thread off! Scalding accepted.

on a lighter side.....he he he

Share with us an embarassing moment.... (In the third person is OK too!)

Have fun.

Ok..I will add to the drunken tales.

I lived in a shared house during my college days and decided it would be nice to try fix up the concrete back yard for bbq's n stuff. My bf made some wooden planters outta pallets and I lined em with bin bags and forked out some cash for compost. As a poor student I had no money for decent plants (lame excuses but ..u know), so began to quietly nik one or two public plants the council had planted on my way back from clubs.

Had my eye on one of the gorgeous palm plants that was about 4 foot high for some time, but every time i was tempted to do it my mates would be telling me not to bloody well dare or they would leg it in shame. One night the temptation was too much (and i was severely pissed) that I grabbed one and walked boldly down the main road whilst the other club ppl stared at me like i was a nutter.

Just my luck that a police car went passed as saw me with the plant. Well, my friends told me to drop it and began to leg it but it didnt dawn on me what they were panicking about till a police man grabbed my arm.

He frog-marched me back to the spot where i took the plant and sternly told to put it back. I laughed and asked if he was joking. Poker faced he told me its either that or a night in a cell. So i put the plant back but twice he told me to do a better job so made me get elbow deep into the dirt and plant it properly. When he figured it was good enough I looked at him meakly and smiled and he told me to go home and not do it again or he will book me.

When I turned to walk away I realised I had gathered a large audience from people who had come out of the different clubs and all started clapping, laughing, and cheering. Man ... was i red faced.

Back around 1980, America was suffering a Country and Western music mania, which came on the heels of the equally bad Disco years. I was out in a bar one night and coming from the jukebox was song after horrible song of some of the most wretched music ever written. Apparently (I'm told), after about the 15th playing of the song "Luckenback, Texas", something compelled me to stand up, walk over and relieve myself on the jukebox. Needless to say I was 86'd in short order, and I count myself lucky (as do the other patrons I'm sure) that I hadn't eaten a large Mexican dinner that night.

Seemed like there was time not too long ago when all I had to do to make an ass of myself was to post my honest opinion in the farming thread!!!

ahahahahhahahaahahh

Chownah