Dowry?

[reality]

Hello, I have recently met a nice thai girl, she comes from a middle class background and I have also met the family. They are not rich but well educated and good people but......

We have discussed the bride price which has been set as 400,000  Baht plus 20 Baht in gold.

Now I have never been in this situation and  I am unsure what exactly to think-is this price exceptionally high because I'm a Falang or is this a reasonable figure to set for marriage??

Please help??

[Thetyim]

Just walk away.

Don't even try to negotiate, they are trying to rip you off.

If your emotional attachments will not allow you to dump this family then you can look forward to a life of supporting the entire family forever.  Sorry to be so brutal but it is the best advice I can give you.

By the way if she has been married before the dowry should be zero.

She may be a nice girl BUT her loyalty will always be to her family.  You will always be number two.

[John13]

I got married last month to a lady with a beautiful 2 1/2 year old son, she is from the village around Ubon.  She was not a bar or working girl.  I offered a dowry of 36,000 baht, my logic in reaching that figure was a working wage of 3,000 baht times 12 months.  It was accepted.  However, before we got married, my fiance said that 40,000 baht was a better figure, and that 36,000 looked a little cheap, I said OK, no problem.  I paid 65,000 baht for the wedding and a large party we had at the village.  She is from Issan, and the dowry was not as expensive.  The family was overjoyed with the dowry and we are very happy now.

[goofy]

I posted a short clip on Thailand's dowry system, I believe written by Bernard Trink, resident of Thailand for more than 40 years.

Thailand's Dowry System

- the amount you pay depends on the social class of the girl

Traditionally, a dowry is a symbolic show of commitment on the part of the prospective groom to indicate his ability to support his new bride.

Although there are no absolutes, the amount of dowry is pretty well fixed, vis-?-vis the girl's social standing, and is rarely negotiated.

If the girl comes from a good family (i.e. honest and straightforward, not necessarily rich), a large portion of the dowry is usually returned to the bride and groom to help the new couple start their life together.

In general, the amounts according to social standing are as follows:

Lower-class, up-country girl 30,000 to 50,000

Middle-class girl 50,000 to 100,000

Upper middle-class girl 100,000 to 200,000

Upper class girl 200,000 to 500,000

Girl from an affluent or influential family 1,000,000 +

As for bar girls, what they should get (about 20,000 to 30,000) and what they demand (whatever they think their prospective groom will agree to) is outside the normal Thai tradition because bar girls have no social standing in the minds of Thais. Often, a bargirl will not pass the money on to her family as a dowry but keep it herself.

The chances of any farang getting into the 200,000 + category is very remote, if not nearly impossible. At that level, the Thais are an exclusive lot who view farang as barbarians, even if they are rich.

[DaveYo]

Hmmmm just reading on the price levels of dowry's.  This is really outrageous so to speak.  I just wonder about the poor Thai males having to ante up this kind of Baht!   We all know the earnings of Thais is not that high, even the males for the most part.  Seems this criteria is leveled at the farangs, because i am sure to make a bet that the dowry's being paid by Thai Males is way much lower than what i see here.  Besides this idea of a concept that the farangs have to support her family too besides himself.  Gawd.  If I marry, i marry the girl, not the family and that comes with a period and if she is of age, I will not worry about her family to approve or disapprove.  This is between me and the girl.  :blues:

[LPCustom69]

Good luck then, because thai women are very loyal to their family. It is ingrained, especially if they marry a falang.

[Brian]

DaveYo, I think that you need to narrow your search to orphans.

If I marry, i marry the girl, not the family

If you marry a Thai, you definately marry the family.

So the trick is to not only find a girl that isn't marrying you just for your money, but also the family.

[Boo]

Reality, Take a look at the "farang girls in thailand" section, there is a posting on there under "Dowry" that you may find interesting. Lots of views & comment to digest. But yes, this amount is way too high, take a look & see for yourself. Best of luck

[goofy]

From my experience living in buriram, when the local guys and gals get married, if they are poor and have an income about 5000-6000 p month dont pay dowry or perhaps 10000 bht

Many families are happy that their daughters are married and with someone that has an income from more than making rice.

The usual thing is that the boy pays for the party as the dowry.

But i have some friends who have been cheated, many of the girls around here work in soi nana meeting som nice farang who is stupid enough to pay a dowry around 200-300k

and also making a party at the same cost.

When i mentioned for them that they should not pay a dowry, they defend themself , my wife is not a bad girl she has not been working in a bar, who wants to admit that he married a whore.

House building , everybody wants to have a house of course and it must be big white and shiny.

and ofcourse the family always have some land to sell expensive ...

And then they build a nice house and after 1 or 2 years the girls get bored of the old man they married so he is gone divorce or the hard way, some sort of accident.

Anything can and will happen if you marry the wrong girl have that in mind when settling your home.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

An interesting topic A G A I N .....posted under visa queries ?

One wonders.....a search through Thai visa would have given

all the answers                   some of us devote quite

a lot of time here, for zilch,  the least you could do is to post

correctly and to search the site yourself