The Farang You Meet In Thailand

[FarangNoi21]

He looks around nervously and disorientated to make sure he hasn't lost one of the seven children traveling with him as he speaks in loud, barely decipherable broken english in a deep german accent to the the skinny thai fruit cart man demanding that he lower the price. The fruit cart looks at him in confusion. He has the two bags of cut watermelon and two bags of cut pineapple and he is waiting for the german tourist to pay him. The german tourist sees through the charade though, "no 40, pay 25 only" he shoots on smiling on the inside knowing that he is not another dumb tourist. the skinny thai fruit man wipes the sweat from his eyes and holds in his emotions and points to a sign on his fruit card with the number 10. The german looks at it for a moment, looks at the thai man, looks at the sign again, and says "No no no, 25 only, no, no" before giving up and refusing to be ripped off. He gathers his clan of children, nephews, and nieces and marches them in the direction of a taxi stand while the thai man calmly put the bags of fruit back into his cart. Its Mr. Idiot German Tourist who doesn't know which prices are negotiable and can barely speak english.

[FarangNoi21]

He gets onto the skytrain and checks his hair in the mirror. Every strand is perfectly placed. He is dressed immaculately and the young girls standing across from him giggle and smile in his direction. At the next station, more young girls get on and also smile at him and look in his direction. He sees one who is perfect and they both happen to exit at the next station where he gets her telephone number and sets up a date. She attends Chula like many of the girls who get off at Siam station. Everyday he goes out and fights off the millions of young thai girls who find him irresistible because he is young, rich and handsome. He is farangnoi21, the kind of farang we can be proud of.

Edited September 30, 2007 by FarangNoi21

[britmaveric]

He spends time on a forum spouting off cliches he considers witty and satirical. Unoriginal and biased in his outlook he chuckles at his own sense of humor as he reads over his posts. Making negative observations becomes a past-time which sadly clouds his judgment when viewing what could be beautiful and interesting observations in life. This is Mr Clueless forum user, texturally blundering about, unaware that most feel pity, rather than that he is witty.

Well said!!!!

[FarangNoi21]

He sits slumped in his computer chair and spills coffee onto his shirt. It is already stained and hasn't been washed in a month, so he makes no effort to clean it up. Thaivisa is opened on his desktop and he clicks general. He opens various threads on sin sot and why thai women are better than western women as he shoves left over mr.donuts into his mouth and wipes powdered sugar in his hair. he hits fast reply "My wife and I love eachother very much and I assure you that even though I am twice her age, she is not at all interested in my money." He pauses as he feels some flatulence coming on. He continues, "I paid a million baht in sin sot because I want to honor Thai tradition and it makes me happy to help her family." He is your average thai visa user!

[Globeliner]

there are backpackers and teachers and farang monks and farang thai boxers and loaded tourists with a guide and some other ones

UUUUUUmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[Globeliner]

And???

[OlRedEyes]

He can be spotted sloppily dressed in a cheap suit on the skytrain and needs a shave. He stares indescretely at every woman on the skytrain while licking his lips before he gets off at Nana or Asoke. He is Mr. Sexpat.

He is dressed for the beach and has his arm wrapped around a Thai girl one third of his size and age as they bounce onto the skytrain and off at National Stadium for some shopping. On the escalator he plants a big fat kiss on her. He ends up getting into a fight on the fourth floor over the price of bootlegged dvds. He is Mr. Sex Tourist.

From the moment you meet him, he tries hard to teach you about Thailand. He prides himself on his knowledge of Thai culture and his ability to interact with Thais. None of the Thais he talks to seem very interested in him, nor does he seem to be an expert on Thai language. Everything he says sounds like something someone else told him sitting on a bar stool. He is over weight, dresses sloppy and needs a hair cut. He is Mr Indiana Jones Thailand.

You will see this farang surrounded by a group of Thais dressed funny in a Tesco Lotus. There are eyes move around as they walk as if it is a foreign experience for them. He holds the hand of a young woman young enough to be his daughter and nibbles at her neck when no one is looking. It becomes obvious that these other Thais are her family members. Mom looks at the refrigerators while Dad looks at the washers. Her five brothers examine the televisions. He is Mr. Newlywed.

He is very thin and dresses politely. Unlike the other farang in Thailand, he doesn't get super paranoid when you look in his direction in fear of social interaction. He approaches you with ease and wants to know if you have saved your soul. Yes, even in Thailand you can't escape the God Freaks. He is Mr Jesus Freak.

Got nothing better to do than classify others? Need to boost your own ego? Why?

[FarangNoi21]

He came to Thailand to escape the consumerism of the western world. He was not sure if Thailand would be any different until he arrived on khao sarn road where he was certain that it was. He strolled around meeting as many Thai people as possible and got dreadlocks placed in his hair. He saw another farang with weird looking tattoos and he found out they were buddhist tattoos. That is sooo cool, he thought to himself, and remembering that he is a buddhist he decided to get some also. It hurt, but it looked awesome and it really made him feel close to his spiritual side. on the way back to his guest house he bought some backpacker clothes and ditched his sneakers for flip flops. he met a beautiful farang backpacking babe and took her back to his room where she explained to him why she has given up showering and the use of tampons. they made hot passionate love to each other while the hotel clerks watched through a peep hole in the wall.

Edited September 30, 2007 by FarangNoi21

[FarangNoi21]

The problem is that these sterotypes are constantly found on TV and many believe that they account for all the farang in Thailand. The belief that 'every one except me in Thailand is a sex tourist' quickly becomes annoying.

garo you can borrow some of these for your memoirs at $500/pop. pm me for details k, thanks.

[keemapoot]

I think farangnoi21 is writing some very funny comedy. Keep it up! Having a good chuckle. Inside every stereotype is a shred of truth.

[Savage]

He sits for hours trying to think of some really witty retort to put on a forum about others he, deep down, knows he resembles but needs to try desperately to seperate himself from.

[Savage]

Before falling alseep in from of the computer, with his member in his hand because he is sad and lonely

[FarangNoi21]

so i resemble ALL of these? cool, i guess i am a women and a man, german and american, fat and skinny, young and old, a tourist and an expat. Kool!

[Bpraim1]

No no no farang Noi ! your just a waste of time.

[JimmyTheMook]

I think farangnoi21 is writing some very funny comedy. Keep it up! Having a good chuckle. Inside every stereotype is a shred of truth.

" he met a beautiful farang backpacking babe and took her back to his room where she explained to him why she has given up showering and the use of tampons."

Obviously inspired by his own introspection.

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[FarangNoi21]

No no no farang Noi ! your just a waste of time.

you're = you are

[geriatrickid]

Tells friend at clinic that the subject in examination room is a very beautiful woman, only to be met with wide eyed stare, a smile and the comment, "it's man down there" . Foreign man wants to hide and spends rest of the morning getting smiles, winks and giggles from folks. 5 years later on friend keeps asking "so, do you know the difference yet between boys and girls or do you need to borrow my anatomy textbook".

[SamuiJens]

No no no farang Noi ! your just a waste of time.

you're = you are

Trollin', trollin on Chai River!

Kool, I think NOT, 21, just nothing better to do than "think of yourself AS KooL :D

[Maestro]

No no no farang Noi ! your just a waste of time.

you're = you are

Let him who makes no error be first to cast a stone.

...(assuming its not just a thai bashing thread). its never too late to change though....

...and dozens more examples.

--

Maestro

[maxbus1]

I think it is time to start 2 sub-forums on ThaiVisa. One would be the "I am a farang who hates farangs" forum and the other would be a " I am a farang who hates Thailand and all things Thai." That would keep most of the bitching off of the rest of the forum.

humm..it would create a war zone right here..i think!!

Well, My first post on here and I bring myself to do it out of disgust for all the crap westerners complain about. Ever think back to when you first wanted to travel and find a place where you could get away from all your hassles even just for a little while? (Unless you are a sexual predator, then you get whatever you deserve) But step back and see things now how they are... you bring all your complaints with you. Don't forget, this is Their country. This isn't the USA where mexicans can skip into the country and claim every right that us pro-freedom people enabled for mostly everyone we could help. Thailand is different, and you must have respect for the country. All of the farangs ARE people from other countries that really don't belong there. There are so many people that, in their own countries just don't fit in there, and also some good people that are travellers, and you will see them all in thailand. I've had the good fortune to have a friend that has gone to thailand 26 times from 1987, and we talk about those times a lot. The biggest thing he speaks of is, "whenever you hear english spoken, walk the other way", most of the time the farangs are loud, rude, excitable, a bit drunk and many times(act like) soccer hooligans. Stop trying to know more than you do. Who are you trying to impress? Sit down, write a darn post card to your buddies saying you're around the world from where you should be, and get on with your life. You bring your western civilization with you, and if it were served on a plate, I wouldn't set it to the floor for a starving dog. I am going to thailand during the high season this dec. and I have to plan AROUND the darn tourists.

There are nice peaceful places in thailand, unfortunatly I have to get around most of the drinkers and complainers to enjoy myself. Here's to avoiding all of you. Go back to your own country, or at least go back to complaining about it.

[DP25]

Comedy gold.

[garro]

The problem is that these sterotypes are constantly found on TV and many believe that they account for all the farang in Thailand. The belief that 'every one except me in Thailand is a sex tourist' quickly becomes annoying.

garo you can borrow some of these for your memoirs at $500/pop. pm me for details k, thanks.

No thank you. I wouldn't want any readers to think that I'm an unhappy curtain-twitcher with no life.

On the other hand, if I ever have a psychotic breakdown and decide to go on a killing spree I could use them in my suicide note. But then again, I would probably be so dellusional and miserable at that stage I would be able to write my own.

[JimsKnight]

He can be spotted sloppily dressed in a cheap suit on the skytrain and needs a shave. He stares indescretely at every woman on the skytrain while licking his lips before he gets off at Nana or Asoke. He is Mr. Sexpat.

He is dressed for the beach and has his arm wrapped around a Thai girl one third of his size and age as they bounce onto the skytrain and off at National Stadium for some shopping. On the escalator he plants a big fat kiss on her. He ends up getting into a fight on the fourth floor over the price of bootlegged dvds. He is Mr. Sex Tourist.

From the moment you meet him, he tries hard to teach you about Thailand. He prides himself on his knowledge of Thai culture and his ability to interact with Thais. None of the Thais he talks to seem very interested in him, nor does he seem to be an expert on Thai language. Everything he says sounds like something someone else told him sitting on a bar stool. He is over weight, dresses sloppy and needs a hair cut. He is <SNIP> Mr Burnt out Expat Thailand. Thats better

You will see this farang surrounded by a group of Thais dressed funny in a Tesco Lotus. There are eyes move around as they walk as if it is a foreign experience for them. He holds the hand of a young woman young enough to be his daughter and nibbles at her neck when no one is looking. It becomes obvious that these other Thais are her family members. Mom looks at the refrigerators while Dad looks at the washers. Her five brothers examine the televisions. He is Mr. Newlywed.

He is very thin and dresses politely. Unlike the other farang in Thailand, he doesn't get super paranoid when you look in his direction in fear of social interaction. He approaches you with ease and wants to know if you have saved your soul. Yes, even in Thailand you can't escape the God Freaks. He is Mr Jesus Freak.

So that must make you Mr Whiter than White Puritan Farang of Thailand then FarangNoi?

[longway]

Keep'em coming farangnoi 21, some of them are very funny. the tesco lotus one is still the best IMO.

[dominique355]

He can be spotted sloppily dressed in a cheap suit on the skytrain and needs a shave. He stares indescretely at every woman on the skytrain while licking his lips before he gets off at Nana or Asoke. He is Mr. Sexpat.

He is dressed for the beach and has his arm wrapped around a Thai girl one third of his size and age as they bounce onto the skytrain and off at National Stadium for some shopping. On the escalator he plants a big fat kiss on her. He ends up getting into a fight on the fourth floor over the price of bootlegged dvds. He is Mr. Sex Tourist.

From the moment you meet him, he tries hard to teach you about Thailand. He prides himself on his knowledge of Thai culture and his ability to interact with Thais. None of the Thais he talks to seem very interested in him, nor does he seem to be an expert on Thai language. Everything he says sounds like something someone else told him sitting on a bar stool. He is over weight, dresses sloppy and needs a hair cut. He is Mr Indiana Jones Thailand.

You will see this farang surrounded by a group of Thais dressed funny in a Tesco Lotus. There are eyes move around as they walk as if it is a foreign experience for them. He holds the hand of a young woman young enough to be his daughter and nibbles at her neck when no one is looking. It becomes obvious that these other Thais are her family members. Mom looks at the refrigerators while Dad looks at the washers. Her five brothers examine the televisions. He is Mr. Newlywed.

He is very thin and dresses politely. Unlike the other farang in Thailand, he doesn't get super paranoid when you look in his direction in fear of social interaction. He approaches you with ease and wants to know if you have saved your soul. Yes, even in Thailand you can't escape the God Freaks. He is Mr Jesus Freak.

Aren't we glad we are not one of them ... No Sir! Not me!

(We are so much better)

[Kerry]

Nice one Farangnoi - this thread had me in stitches!

[Scott]

I'm sure glad I don't fall into any of these categories! By the way, which go-go bars open the earliest--are there any open in the mornings? It's a shame to have to waste all day riding the sky-train being stared at by other funny looking farangs!

[t.s]

this thread can only bother you if it hits close to home.

(runs and hides)

or if you are irritated by simpletons spouting cliches.

edit: i take the above back, i read on and was amused.

Edited October 1, 2007 by t.s

[FarangNoi21]

heh. i never said that there aren't normal people living in Thailand. If I ever run into one Ill let you know.

Edited October 4, 2007 by FarangNoi21

[SamuiJens]

heh. i never said that there aren't normal people living in Thailand. If I ever run into one Ill let you know.

Who would want to talk to a "bar" dude like you?