Violant Thai Woman

[meemiathai]

Hey i have only really meet my gf's friends, most of them are only middleclass, only a few are Hi-so, well there parents anyway.

Also i never said all isaan girls are that way, just this one, i have no idea what Isaan girls are like really.

My friends (more like a friend of a friend) Maori New Zealand gf hits him but im not saying all girls from there are violent, but his gf is about 150 kgs and mean looking.

We are talking about human beings here, not killer whales.

[jberwick]

One last comment: one night, I was drunk, and she was going through one of her crazy episodes and i snapped and hit her (the first and only time I ever had)... Luckily I didn't break anything but her face was puffed up like a balloon for about a week... worst experience of my life... I will never hit a girl again... I'd rather be killed by her than to use my obviously far greater physical power instead of using my brain and my words to calm the situation.

What was your gf's comment? Just curious.

Well, her initial response was to go totally insane... I had to hold her down for about an hour after that... but then she calmed down a lot. During the remainder of the week she was quite good about it... but that was similar to how she usually acts after we had a fight... we'd have a crazy fight, but then for the next few days afterwards she'd be quite nice and sweet. If you are wondering if her behavior changed noticably after I hit her, I'd have to say the evidence is inconclusive... but we've had a few fights since then, so my hitting her didn't stop her behavior altogether. And, like I said, over time she has always gotten better and better, to the point now that any sort of heated fight is very, very rare... So, all in all, I don't think my hitting her changed anything positively... like i said, I still really regret it as a time where I lost my cool and used my obviously far greater physical power against someone much weaker...

But, that said, even though she has "showed" me the knife a few times and threw a noodle cup at me a few times, she has never 'beaten' me... I would never allow that... I would either leave immediately, or use force to protect myself (note: a few slaps, and a punch in the arm from a 90lb girl isn't a beating, imo...)... If she broke a beer bottle over my face or something, I'd either leave immediately and never speak to her again or possibly even go so far as to throw her against a wall or something...

So, I guess what I am saying, is, that I am far, far from being a 'beaten' bf... I have heard of men actually getting beaten by their gf/spouse (as appears to be the case with the person who started this thread) and my only advice would be that that kind of behavior should never be put up with... as i said, if they really do physical harm to you, you really should leave immediately and never go back or do what you need to do physically to protect yourself and/or show that you will not put up with being violently attacked.

To be beaten and to stay with someone, on an ongoing basis, is really like just asking for it... you are giving your consent for their actions by allowing it to be repeated.

IMHO

[Thaifan2]

I know of an English guy called Chris with a bar in Jomtien .Surname begins with H. Cant help wondering if you are the same guy ,but he looks fatter and grayer than your photo .

Anyway as stated by others you have put up with more than enough shit from your wife .Time to get out anyway you can .

[joskydive]

I admit I didn't read all 8 pages worth of stuff, but what's stopping him from relocating somewhere else in Thailand, and bring the kids?

Until he and his Lawyer goes to the Court and has her declared 'of unsound mind' or 'quasi-incompetent' and placed under an appointed guardian or curator, she can demand her children are returned to her because she can say he is unlawfully detaining them. If he does that he would most likely be arrested for abduction and if she wants to make things really bad for him, she could also say she's worried that he may molest them. Guess who's going to win!!!!!

When he does go to the Court he can at the same time request Guardianship of the children and only then, if he gets it, he can take the children anywhere he wants.

[jackr]

Is there a western movie called Superman? Could it be the reason for farangs falling off balconies in Thailand?

Stop moaning about thai soaps they are good entertainment.

Sounds like you could also do with seeing the quack along with the OP's bird.

[gburns57au]

My friend and I fancied going to the local bar for a drink but my wife said she did not want us to go because it was too dangerous! So trying to please her we asked the neighbour, who is a police man, to go with us. He agreed and him and two of her cousins came along with us. We spent a couiple of hours at the bar then decided to go home. My friend and the others decided to go to the toilet before we went home so I was left sitting at the table alone. I glanced up and was surprised to see my wife walking towards me. Before I could say anything a fist hit my face and splattered my nose, blood was everywhere. She was drunk and accused me of being with women, which I wasn't.

Ummm....wasnt this in public ???

and you just changed your pic from whorehound type to family guy type.....how strange??

And even more amazing....she walks up to you at your bar...asks if you are enjoying yourself and you, knowing full well what she is like, answer...."yeah, I am"

You aint for real.....

[lor]

Gburns57au --

" ... you just changed your pic from whorehound type to family guy type.....how strange??"

Please read the posts before making comments like that! Extract from my last post -

"For those who asked about the picture in my profile, it was originaly put there to promote my bar, I had forgot all about it. Replaced it with a family picture from happier times!"

And what do you mean "How strange??" What are you trying to imply? and as for the public bit, she was there and gone is seconds. Her sisters dragged her away before anyone knew what happened.

There is only so much that you can explain in a post without it lasting for pages and pages. I cannot explain every thing in total detail and even if I did there are always those who will make assumptions without any facts to back them up. But please let me clarify one thing, the longest time between the violant episodes was 4 years! That is a very long time when you are in love and raising a family. You tend to think that one day when she hit you will never happen again. The rest of the time she was a perfect wife and mother. I posted about the worst episodes because they were the important ones that are relavant today. As she got more sick the problem became more acute.

I posted here to get some advice on how to deal with the situation here in Thailand. I have had some excelent advice concerning Thai law and how to proceed. I thank all those who have pointed me in the right direction. I also thank all those who offered me support, thank you. When I was feeling very low, with no friends here in Thailand it really helped.

As for some of the other posts. I am sure most did not bother reading all the information before they posted. Like the first time she hit me I get things like "Should have ditched her then, stupid not too etc" Yes OK maybe you would have, but what about her 6 month pregnancy. Maybe I should have just kicked her hard in the stomach at that time and it would have ended all my problems then. Is that what you would have done??? Or maybe just walked off and forgot about the baby as you forget about someone you are supposed to love. And what about the marriage? "For better ar for worse, in sickness and in health" Mental Health proiblems are just as real as Cancer or other physical problems. You try to help the person you love. My father had a stroke but my mum then looked after him for years, she loved him and remembered the man he used to be. She stayed by him till he died. Thank god she was not like some posters here, "Got to hard for you? just F" Off and abandon your wife and children. Things are not that easy. There is no such simplistic solution. Well not if you think about anyone other than your macho self! Trying to help your sick wife, raise a family and earn an income is a huge juggling act and you just do the best you can. Maybe some times in those 9 years we were together I made the wrong decisions but I tried. Walking away and abandaning them was never an option. Even now, I have lived apart from her and the children for 6 months but I still want to do the best I can for the family. I now believe she will never be cured but with the correct treatment, one day the children will have a good mother and hopefully she could have a happy life, albeit without me.

Once again thank you for the constructive comments. Things are now progressing well and although she is still irational and, in my mind. crazy she should soon have the help she needs and I will be divorced.

Regards

CHris

[torrenova]

Women exploit this situation because they think they can do what they want to you and the police and courts and even society in general will back them up if the guy retaliates. In essense they are right.

You get beaten by a woman then you are pussy whipped and have no balls. So you defend yourself which will need more than just restraint and you will have to hit her to make her think that she cannot win and thus you are a wife beater and below contempt. The fact that she smashed a bottle over your head or spent the last 4 years hitting you doesn't matter.

Then you get mixed race marriages and in Thailand Mr Plod will help if he can feather his nest with some of your cash. You want her locking up ? sure, Bt10,000. No cash, don't want to know.

What you do here I do not know. If the bar is in your name, sell ASAP and use that cash to get you and the kids out of here. She will be unlikely to follow and after 2 years her indefinite leave to remain will expire.

In my opinion, you should have never come to Thailand with her and let her just go. I would certainly not bring her back to the UK. As for the kids, are they yours, sometimes you say hers and then ours. If yours or one is whatever, if they have UK passports then no need for visas and thus you can just pick them up and off to the airport if they are not with you.

I'd just get the hel_l out of the country and leave her with nothing.

[Thaifan2]

Women exploit this situation because they think they can do what they want to you and the police and courts and even society in general will back them up if the guy retaliates. In essense they are right.

You get beaten by a woman then you are pussy whipped and have no balls. So you defend yourself which will need more than just restraint and you will have to hit her to make her think that she cannot win and thus you are a wife beater and below contempt. The fact that she smashed a bottle over your head or spent the last 4 years hitting you doesn't matter.

Then you get mixed race marriages and in Thailand Mr Plod will help if he can feather his nest with some of your cash. You want her locking up ? sure, Bt10,000. No cash, don't want to know.

What you do here I do not know. If the bar is in your name, sell ASAP and use that cash to get you and the kids out of here. She will be unlikely to follow and after 2 years her indefinite leave to remain will expire.

In my opinion, you should have never come to Thailand with her and let her just go. I would certainly not bring her back to the UK. As for the kids, are they yours, sometimes you say hers and then ours. If yours or one is whatever, if they have UK passports then no need for visas and thus you can just pick them up and off to the airport if they are not with you.

I'd just get the hel_l out of the country and leave her with nothing.

The OP said that the son is not his and has a different surname than him on his passport .The OP said he could be stopped at the Airport because of this .

[jayjayjayjay]

"Once again thank you for the constructive comments. Things are now progressing well and although she is still irational and, in my mind. crazy she should soon have the help she needs and I will be divorced.

Regards

CHris"

Chris, excellent to here you have engaged professionals and your attitude is improving on how to manage this. What you will find is police reports are a necessary part of the court process, continue, but ensure they are hard hitting and clear in cases such as the one you have described. The injury to your staff is unfortunate but works strongly in your favour for an attractive outcome.

The police however try to act in part as social workers, unfortunately they are not professional or trained in this dicipline. You will not gain protection, do not expect it!! It is courts that issue orders, the police station is a place for reporting only. Affidavides from everyone possible is essential.

The next most important component of the court proceedings is establishing your own credibility. Do you have any "respected" Thai friends or business associates. In my case a couple of Pu Wa's from different provinces drafted letters of referrence. These carry massive weight in court. Pictures of past good deeds, donations to schools had the judge in my corner for the entire case. Pictures etc were presented to show credibility. Although these are done from your generosity, if you have such cases they help.

Good luck,,,,,,,, and well done.... this is not about reconcillation now, it is about ensuring safety for you and your children and you ex learning to live with the situation in an acceptable manner.

Edited November 8, 2007 by jayjayjayjay

[TheEmperorOfTheNorth]

Assuming he's on the birth certificate as the father of the kids, why COULDNT he just bring the kids and relocate in Chiang Rai or something? It's not abduction, he's not even leaving the country. That said, leaving the country might actually not be such a bad idea.

Generally speaking, what is the big need to register a marriage anyway in Thailand?? (Or anywhere else for that matter, but anywhere else you STILL need to specify the whole lot, contract style no matter if married or not).

Edited November 8, 2007 by TheEmperorOfTheNorth

[WaiWai]

Things are now progressing well and although she is still irational and, in my mind. crazy she should soon have the help she needs and I will be divorced.

Glad to hear you have things on track.

[joskydive]

Assuming he's on the birth certificate as the father of the kids, why COULDNT he just bring the kids and relocate in Chiang Rai or something? It's not abduction, he's not even leaving the country. That said, leaving the country might actually not be such a bad idea.

Generally speaking, what is the big need to register a marriage anyway in Thailand?? (Or anywhere else for that matter, but anywhere else you STILL need to specify the whole lot, contract style no matter if married or not).

The problem here is Chris's son. As he has stated before, he is not the child's father.

He can exercise his parental rights with his daughter but not his stepson and even then, his wife still has a joint parental power over her daughter too.

This is why I have been saying that he must go to the Court and have her adjudged incompetent or quasi-incompetent, she is then put under guardianship or curatorship so she can't go anywhere, or do anything without their sole permission. If all goes well, the parental power and guardianship can then be granted to him by order of the court.

As the person exercising parental power he then has the right;

To determine the childs place of residence and amongst other things, demand the return of his children from whoever unlawfully detains them. This order being in place then stops his wife taking the children back at any time and using them against him. Threat, fear or even money.

After that, he can stay where he is, without fear, move up country or even go to timbucktoo with his children and also he then has grounds for divorce because he is then elligable to exercise Section 1516. 3. one spouse has caused serious harm or torture to the body or mind of the other, or has seriously insulted the other or his or her ascendants, the latter may enter a claim for divorce;

Section 1519. In case where one spouse is an insane person, and if there gives rise to the ground of action for divorce irrespective of whether it arises before or after the insanity, the person shall have the power to enter an action against the other spouse for divorce and liquidation of the property. In such a case if no order of the Court effecting the insane spouse to be an incapacitated person has yet been given, the said person shall apply to the Court in the same case for an order effecting the insane spouse to be an incapacitated person.

If all goes well for Chris he can then in effect, have his children,

have his divorce,

have no crazy person attack him again

have a LIFE

[gburns57au]

Gburns57au --

" ... you just changed your pic from whorehound type to family guy type.....how strange??"

Please read the posts before making comments like that! Extract from my last post -

"For those who asked about the picture in my profile, it was originaly put there to promote my bar, I had forgot all about it. Replaced it with a family picture from happier times!"

And what do you mean "How strange??" What are you trying to imply? and as for the public bit, she was there and gone is seconds. Her sisters dragged her away before anyone knew what happened.

I did read it and every other post you have made...

You put a pic in your profile to promote your bar.....yet there was no mention of the bar on the pic or in your profile...just a pic of you I presume, and two half naked Thai girls...How did this promote your bar?

She walked upto you in the bar, belted you one, blood was everywhere and her sisters then dragged her away before anyone knew what happened....How does that occur? the bar was empty right? and the staff were out the back doing something else at that exact time?

Sorry I am not one of these fuzzy wuzzy care bears that are posting here. Everytime you post the situation changes as you justify different issues. It has now gone from regular acts to acts upto 4 years apart at times. There are many things that dont gel here.

If the situation is as you say then you really are a "Sad sack"....you talk about love....She doesnt love you....why?....because she has no respect for you. If she respected you than this wouldnt be happening.

If you love her as you say then stand up to her....show some grit and stop being a pansy....it may turn things around although maybe it is too late now...and no, I am not advocating you hit her.

It is easy when this situation happens to say "oh she has problems, she is crazy etc..." that explains it away nicely, puts the blame on her. "The more sick she was the more acute it was"....Nope....the more you allowed her to ride roughshod over you the less respect she had and she could get away with it because she knows that you dont anything. I dont doubt she has a temper and a jealous streak, you said that in an unrelated post, but crazy....I doubt it....vengeful maybe.

Yes, you have gone about things in a strange manner by buying the bar and then leaving her to go and live there....But you havent done anything to change the situation, have you? even though you know it is an issue with her, perhaps you think that by paying all her bills and a rather large allowance that she would be ok with that, money solves everything?.....And then when she asked you if you were enjoying yourself sitting in bar with service girls....you threw it back at her by saying "yes, I am"....most girls would have gladly bottled you for that, you Numpty. You really dont know women, do you?

You pandered to the girl from day one....you never set your line in the sand and therefore she was given free rein, She set her lines in the sand and kept moving them because she was allowed to. The answer if you love her and want to keep her and the kids is to start re-setting the lines...and slowly move them to where it is equitable to both parties (a very slow process)....Unless you really believe that the lines are beyond re-setting. If that is the case then get out of there.....and as soon as she sees you are trying to take the kids she will fight tooth and nail...because that is where she can hurt you most....Are you prepared to give your life for the kids...you may, if it reaches that stage.

Edited November 8, 2007 by gburns57au

[joskydive]

Women exploit this situation because they think they can do what they want to you and the police and courts and even society in general will back them up if the guy retaliates. In essense they are right.

I know what you mean and where you are coming from but sure hope you are not generalising that all females are the same 'cos I'm one of them and the only thing I beat up on is my parachute when I want to get it back into the bag to go jump again!

You get beaten by a woman then you are pussy whipped and have no balls. So you defend yourself which will need more than just restraint and you will have to hit her to make her think that she cannot win and thus you are a wife beater and below contempt. The fact that she smashed a bottle over your head or spent the last 4 years hitting you doesn't matter.

The only time I would beat you is to the bar to claim my beer before you nick it!

Then you get mixed race marriages and in Thailand Mr Plod will help if he can feather his nest with some of your cash. You want her locking up ? sure, Bt10,000. No cash, don't want to know.

Can't comment, I think you might be right.

What you do here I do not know. If the bar is in your name, sell ASAP and use that cash to get you and the kids out of here. She will be unlikely to follow and after 2 years her indefinite leave to remain will expire.

Why would he have bow down to her and let her dictate where he lives? He has a right to live where he wants.

In my opinion, you should have never come to Thailand with her and let her just go. I would certainly not bring her back to the UK. As for the kids, are they yours, sometimes you say hers and then ours. If yours or one is whatever, if they have UK passports then no need for visas and thus you can just pick them up and off to the airport if they are not with you.

I'd just get the hel_l out of the country and leave her with nothing.

Then he'd be in a lot of trouble for not doing things the right way and possibly end up losing all. Money, Bar, children, sanity and freedom.

So sorry to be awkward because I know your comments are well meant and well intentioned but here we must always remember we are the foreigners and we must do things the right way.

[gburns57au]

Assuming he's on the birth certificate as the father of the kids, why COULDNT he just bring the kids and relocate in Chiang Rai or something? It's not abduction, he's not even leaving the country. That said, leaving the country might actually not be such a bad idea.

Generally speaking, what is the big need to register a marriage anyway in Thailand?? (Or anywhere else for that matter, but anywhere else you STILL need to specify the whole lot, contract style no matter if married or not).

The problem here is Chris's son. As he has stated before, he is not the child's father.

He can exercise his parental rights with his daughter but not his stepson and even then, his wife still has a joint parental power over her daughter too.

This is why I have been saying that he must go to the Court and have her adjudged incompetent or quasi-incompetent, she is then put under guardianship or curatorship so she can't go anywhere, or do anything without their sole permission. If all goes well, the parental power and guardianship can then be granted to him by order of the court.

As the person exercising parental power he then has the right;

To determine the childs place of residence and amongst other things, demand the return of his children from whoever unlawfully detains them. This order being in place then stops his wife taking the children back at any time and using them against him. Threat, fear or even money.

After that, he can stay where he is, without fear, move up country or even go to timbucktoo with his children and also he then has grounds for divorce because he is then elligable to exercise Section 1516. 3. one spouse has caused serious harm or torture to the body or mind of the other, or has seriously insulted the other or his or her ascendants, the latter may enter a claim for divorce;

Section 1519. In case where one spouse is an insane person, and if there gives rise to the ground of action for divorce irrespective of whether it arises before or after the insanity, the person shall have the power to enter an action against the other spouse for divorce and liquidation of the property. In such a case if no order of the Court effecting the insane spouse to be an incapacitated person has yet been given, the said person shall apply to the Court in the same case for an order effecting the insane spouse to be an incapacitated person.

If all goes well for Chris he can then in effect, have his children,

have his divorce,

have no crazy person attack him again

have a LIFE

Sounds simple doesnt it?....

Nicely tied in a package complete with bow on top....

But seriously how hard and how much time do you think it would take to go through this process.

First the incompetent bit....just how does he go about that, there is nothing he has said that suggests the kids are being neglected or seriously abused. The courts always look favourably to the maternal parent....The court would also look at the fact he owns the bar and lives on the premises...hardly the ideal place for child rearing.

And then there is the cost involved.

I like the way people here can solve the worlds problems.

[joskydive]

It isn't simple and no-one has said that it is! Divorce with children, especially, not your own is difficult in any country and more so when you are the foreigner in that country.

As stated, repeatedly now, he can use police reports, witness statements, hospital statements, whatever to get his point across to the courts to prove the incompetence.

I believe also, that he has stated he only moved into his bar to get away from his wife, so that would tell me that they have a separate residence too. However, take a look around in pattaya and Jomtien. You will find there is not just one or two bars around here, and, shock and horror, there's loads of kids around who's parents either own or work in those bars! Do you think the court in Pattaya is unaware of what happens in Pattaya? Do you think the court is unaware of where the most major income is generated from in Pattaya? This is another thing they will be looking at with regard to the childrens welfare, health and well being. Which parent has the finances to support the children.

The cost also is the amount that you agree to pay at the onset of proceedings and a contract to that effect should be made so you don't get screwed!

I'm not trying to solve the world's problems, I am, however, trying to help someone who is in need of help and support and has asked for it.

May I suggest you go and pick on some of the other posters who, like yourself, have nothing to suggest and just enjoy bitching for the sake of bitching.

[gburns57au]

It isn't simple and no-one has said that it is! Divorce with children, especially, not your own is difficult in any country and more so when you are the foreigner in that country.

True

As stated, repeatedly now, he can use police reports, witness statements, hospital statements, whatever to get his point across to the courts to prove the incompetence.

And what is she going to provide ?? do you think she will roll over and just let it happen? Again there is nothing that has been said that suggests the kids are being neglected or seriously abused....the court will be interested in the kids welfare...not the relationship between the parents

I believe also, that he has stated he only moved into his bar to get away from his wife, so that would tell me that they have a separate residence too. However, take a look around in pattaya and Jomtien. You will find there is not just one or two bars around here, and, shock and horror, there's loads of kids around who's parents either own or work in those bars! Do you think the court in Pattaya is unaware of what happens in Pattaya? Do you think the court is unaware of where the most major income is generated from in Pattaya? This is another thing they will be looking at with regard to the childrens welfare, health and well being. Which parent has the finances to support the children.

Most of them dont live at the bars...He is renting a residence....thats where the wife and kids are now...So unless he can prove incompetence and that is not as easy as you think...the kids will stay with her and he will then be under a court order to provide X amount of dollars to her and the kids upkeep....probably more than he does now.

The cost also is the amount that you agree to pay at the onset of proceedings and a contract to that effect should be made so you don't get screwed!

That would be the cost to the lawyer....then he will have court costs etc....

I'm not trying to solve the world's problems, I am, however, trying to help someone who is in need of help and support and has asked for it.

As I said I am not a fuzzy wuzzy care bear....I also dont take what a person posts here as the rock solid truth....there is always more to the story than what gets posted here...you only know what the OP wants you to know...face it, you dont know this guy from Adam and yet you are telling him how he can break up his family, this is the woman and kids he says he loves, the problem he has is with the wifes alleged behaviour.....surely that needs addressing before we start telling him how to break up his family.

May I suggest you go and pick on some of the other posters who, like yourself, have nothing to suggest and just enjoy bitching for the sake of bitching.

So anyone who opposes your views is bitching.....I have to listen to sob stories everyday....I have to work out which ones to dismiss as BS and which ones are the truth...I am fairly good at that....and so far, while I dont dismiss the OP's claims as total BS...because all sob stories have an element of truth...I believe that we are not getting the full story or we are getting a dressed up story.

Edited November 8, 2007 by gburns57au

[blizzard]

i am not a professional either but i can just tell we not hearing the whole story on all these dramas that the op starts.

[joskydive]

It isn't simple and no-one has said that it is! Divorce with children, especially, not your own is difficult in any country and more so when you are the foreigner in that country.

True

As stated, repeatedly now, he can use police reports, witness statements, hospital statements, whatever to get his point across to the courts to prove the incompetence.

And what is she going to provide ?? do you think she will roll over and just let it happen? Again there is nothing that has been said that suggests the kids are being neglected or seriously abused....the court will be interested in the kids welfare...not the relationship between the parents

As stated several times previously, I am talking about MENTAL incompetence here where he can use police reports, witness statements,hospital statements etc. What are you talking about? This isn't to do with the kids being neglected or abused.

It is entirely up to her what she or her Lawyer provides as evidence with regard to retaliatory measures.

I believe also, that he has stated he only moved into his bar to get away from his wife, so that would tell me that they have a separate residence too. However, take a look around in pattaya and Jomtien. You will find there is not just one or two bars around here, and, shock and horror, there's loads of kids around who's parents either own or work in those bars! Do you think the court in Pattaya is unaware of what happens in Pattaya? Do you think the court is unaware of where the most major income is generated from in Pattaya? This is another thing they will be looking at with regard to the childrens welfare, health and well being. Which parent has the finances to support the children.

Most of them dont live at the bars...He is renting a residence....thats where the wife and kids are now...So unless he can prove incompetence and that is not as easy as you think...the kids will stay with her and he will then be under a court order to provide X amount of dollars to her and the kids upkeep....probably more than he does now.

How do you know? Ever bothered to go and ask, I have? I have never stated anywhere that anything is easy and please don't assume to know what I think. You have no idea what I think.

The cost also is the amount that you agree to pay at the onset of proceedings and a contract to that effect should be made so you don't get screwed!

That would be the cost to the lawyer....then he will have court costs etc....

Again, the cost is the amount that he agrees upon at the onset of proceedings and a contract to that effect should be made. It is up to him as to whether he agrees to have the court costs etc. included in that sum and contract or not.i]

I'm not trying to solve the world's problems, I am, however, trying to help someone who is in need of help and support and has asked for it.

As I said I am not a fuzzy wuzzy care bear....I also dont take what a person posts here as the rock solid truth....there is always more to the story than what gets posted here...you only know what the OP wants you to know...face it, you dont know this guy from Adam and yet you are telling him how he can break up his family, this is the woman and kids he says he loves, the problem he has is with the wifes alleged behaviour.....surely that needs addressing before we start telling him how to break up his family.

It's up to you what you decide you are or not. I'm not interested. There possibly is more to the story than what has been posted here, but I am responding only to what has been posted. I'm not interested in calling people liars, or liars by ommission, until that case is proved.

I have addressed his wifes alleged behaviour, it's just that you chose not to see it or read it. Not my problem, yours!

I have given him quotes from the Thai Civil and Commercial Code which he may use should he wish for a divorce, which he has stated he wants. These quotes are, however, subject to the information he has given on this thread. Should he have lied or lied by ommission he then only has himself to blame for those quotes not being acceptable in his case.[/i]

May I suggest you go and pick on some of the other posters who, like yourself, have nothing to suggest and just enjoy bitching for the sake of bitching.

So anyone who opposes your views is bitching.....I have to listen to sob stories everyday....I have to work out which ones to dismiss as BS and which ones are the truth...I am fairly good at that....and so far, while I dont dismiss the OP's claims as total BS...because all sob stories have an element of truth...I believe that we are not getting the full story or we are getting a dressed up story.

No, I don't care if you oppose my view because I have only quoted parts of Thai Law which my help this mans situation as he has stated here, so in fact, you don't even know my view because I have not expressed it.

We all listen to SOB stories everyday too, whether it be from friends, enemies, the workplace, the street vendor or your other half's brother and have to decide for ourselves what we believe or not. I suppose, with that in mind, we could all be pretty good at it!

With regard to this thread, however, I don't believe it is up to us whether to decide who is right or wrong. I believe that is up to the Lawyer who has taken his case and up to her Lawyer to prove he is not telling the truth. At the end of the day, the Courts will make the final judgement not us[i]

[digibum]

I can't believe I read the entire thread but I did and I have had conflicting emotions throughout.

First, I do believe this situation is 100% Chris' fault. Chis asked how do you leave a woman that is six months preggers. Well, the bigger question is why did she have the balls to attack you in the fist place? Someone previously mentioned something about de-escalating the situation. Well, one of the ways you do that is to prevent it from happening. You set bounderies. The first crazy outburst and she gets a stern warning. Part of that warning is detailing to her what the consequences of her actions are going to be. If it were me, I would have said something along the lines of:

"Listen, your behavior was not acceptiable to me. If it happens again, I walk right out and it's 100% over. No second chances because this is your second chance."

And if she had actually assaulted me in any way, first I don't think there would be a second chance but if there was (perhaps it was a single slap or something rather trivial) the warning would the same as above except I would add:

"When people start hitting the situation can get out of control and people can get seriosly hurt. You need to know that I will never, ever hit you in anger because I am much bigger than you and could easily hurt you or worse. But do not even for a single second think that I will not defend myself. I will do WHATEVER it takes to end the situation. What happened the other night can NEVER happen again."

And if there is a second time, you need to follow through on what you promised.

I think a lot of the "I would never hit a woman" types are exactly the types who allow these situations to develop. Whoever it was who was saying he wouldn't even hit a woman if some crazed lady came at him on the street is just beyond my level of comprehension. I am certainly not a violent person. I don't own a weapon of any sort and you could probably count the number of physical altercations I've been in over the course of my entire life on one hand. I am the type of person who would rather talk his way out of a fight than fight his way out. That being said, once it becomes clear that there's no way out of this situation other than to fight, there is no other option to fight like you are fighting to the death. If someone is coming at you with a knife, you don't try to restrain them. You knock them the <deleted> out.

And that is why I think Chris has nobody to blame but himself here. Every time she beat the crap out of him someone had to come save him. He even let bar girls save him. The first time she picked up a knife would have been the last time she ever saw me again. And rather than locking myself in a room or calling my friends to come save me as soon as she picked up the knife I would have told her that she better drop it immediately or they were going to be taking her away in an ambulance. Now, whether I actually hit or or not has a lot to do with whether or not I can escape the situation without violence but if you say that with enough authority and a look in your eye like you're prepared to follow through, I bet she puts the dam_n knife down. On the other hand, if you've established yourself as a weak by letting her beat the crap out of you a few times perivously then you probably don't have it in you to pull that level of authority off.

I mean what kind of guy bolts off to his parents house and turns around to face a beating because she's threatended to kill herself and the kids? I would have told her I was coming right home, stopped off at the police station, told them this woman was threatening to kill herself and two small children and let the coppers take her away to the nut house where she belongs. By the times she was out of custody I would have been long gone. Instead Chris says he went back for the kids safety. How did that make them any safer???

I mean, I just read this thing and at every single step Chris refuses to actually do anything to help himself. Even his post here is a plea for others to tell him what to do. It's no wonder the guys is in such a fix. I don't want to heap it on to a guy who's obviously in a jam at the moment but consider this a form of tough love, brother. Grow a pair of balls and take charge of your life. Don't whine about not being able to send your kids to a top notch school meanwhile your crazy wife is putting a knife to your throat and god knows what else physically and psychologically to the kids. Nobody here wants to read the news story about her stabbing you in the gut instead of breaking a bottle over your face just because you thought it was too expensive to get a lawyer or you were too thick to sell your bar and get the hel_l out of town. That's where this is headed, bro.

The folks who have pointed out that domestic violence escalates are right on the money. She's stuck a knife to your throat and broken a bottle over your face in a public place. Her only real encore here is to actually take you out or do one of those swan song moves and kill herself and the kids. Man up and confront this head on before it's too late.

And for those who have cast her as a victim here, I agree she needs help. She needs professional help as soon as possible. But the first step is to remove Chris and the children from danger. Then you can worry about her mental health.

If somehow found myself in this situation, I would do the following:

1. Sell the bar and move all your assets out of reach.

2. Get the hel_l out of town or at least go someplace she can't find you.

3. Get a legal opinion and ask the doctors at the local mental health facility regarding forcibly commiting her for care.

4. While she's locked up, get the kids and and start the process of getting custody.

5. At the same time you apply for custody, start the divorce proceedings.

6. Spend every penny you have and even some you don't have on lawyers to make the above two happen as quickly as possible.

Believe me, I would much rather be up to my ass in debt and safe (as well as ensuring the safety of two children) than jerking around in Thailand waiting for her to come finish the job.

[DamianMavis]

Ya, what I said, only longer.

Damian

[blizzard]

dont spend all yr munney. penniless and with a kid in bangkok is not all its cracked up to be.

[digibum]

Damian,

Yeah pretty much. I haven't been active on TV for a long time but I just started reading up again and ran across a few of your posts across various threads. I think you're spot on, mate.

Bill