What Do I Do

[v8tfcorty]

Forget the house, land, truck etc. as you are not likely to ever get or see a baht from it anyway, even it if means having to pay her off do it to get custody of your daughter as in her signing your daughter over to you and get the hel_l out of there while you still can. As if the money has been cut off, you ain't a lot of use to the family anymore and you just never know what they will do.

You mention food poisoning a few weeks ago, are you 100% how you got it???????

[ray23]

although I understand your thoughts as to elderly gentlemen raising a child. It would seem based on the postings at the moment there is something more pressing.

The child has already been the victim of rough handling based on the description given it could have resulted in serious injury. Unless I read this wrong wasn't the child threatened with death while the wife was brandinshing a knife?

I get the impression that you might believe that the wife is acting in this manner, in an effort to get attention wouldn't be the first time dramatics have been displayed here in realtionships. However, it's went to far. What the next step to gain attention? Next time will she actually harm the child to gain the level of attention she wants. Personaly I wouldn't leave the child there to find out

Long term there are lots of things that can be done to arrange for the care of a child here. But you got to get that point where cooler heads prevail. At the moment it sounds as if the mother has lost it and the child is in danger. To me that would be the immidiate priority.

[Diablo Bob]

Mac,

Just received an email from Binnsy and so I logged onto the forum.

I am truly shocked.

I will be arriving back to Thailand mid-December. If you need a place to stay, my door is always open and naturally your daughter is more than welcome. Remember we have a 1year old so assistance is close by.

I will call you when I arrive.

Diablo Bob

[Vegemite]

Hi Mac,

have been through this many years ago the difference being that , it was a farang lady in a farang land.

I took my son when he was 2 Y.O. and spent the next 17 years raising him.

He is a good person now and long gone from my care but never far from my thoughts.

I was in my late 30s when I took my son and it was very hard even though I had some help from my family.

The buck still stopped with me.( I still had to wipe his bum and change the sheets after he had pissed my bed).

In hindsight, and I dwell on this sometimes, I have no regrets BUT I really dont think that I would do it again.

Now I am free but I miss the lost years sometimes.

Please dont forget that the cute baby is not going to be a little gem forever.

All the best to you and we wish you the best of luck.

[mailman]

I am already going to look into a month away from here:

What is strange my wife is acting very happy about it all, maybe she is thinking good he will go soon : Well there will be no reconciliation I have gone with the flow all the time and it is not the flow I expected when I came to Thailand. My hearts to big for everyone it always has been that's the way my dear ole Mum raised me. I will pursue Issan lawyers for advice: Now I got to think of myself I know I am to old to care my daughter 24/7 on my own

Mac, so shocked and sorry to hear about you and Bee. I am glad to hear that you contacted a lawyer to get some legal advice.

A month a way to get a clear understanding of what is what and to clear the mind would be a good idea. I think you need to keep busy during that time and start to think about a future away from Bee. Don't leave any important papers at home when you leave and wouldn't be too surprised if some possesions disapear during the month to pay for things. I hope you are not locked out when you go back, but no matter.

Take the truck, go to Bangkok, Hua Hin even Pattaya or where ever you have friends. You won't have any problems picking up with your life after this is cleared up and I think the lawyer will present you with those options. A tough time for you, I know, but have all the faith that you will come through this and find happiness down the the road.

Good luck, hope to catch up with you some time. I will be in Thailand in two weeks, if you want to get together.

Edited November 26, 2007 by mailman

[macb]

Well I just got off the phone with RAY23: Many thanks Ray for the chat he now has my mobile number :

Ron is coming up for Farang food that I cooked, when the wife heard the invite she put the daughter in a pushchair and has gone to her mothers, I think she is losing face as Ron is married to her Cousin who knows everything:

See you guys later so to speak

[Tafia]

Hi Mac

Ive emailed you, Im so sorry mate. Take heed of some of this good advice and take time out to think things through and for the situation to settle down a bit.

Take care big fellow.

[macb]

Well we seem to be in the wait and see phase: The wife is behaving Happy with the daughter they sleep downstairs now, well that suites me from now on I am going to lock my bedroom door when I retire to sleep:

I am keeping busy tomorrow it is fishing down at Cousin Ron's fishing lake ;

I have spoke to my mate in the next village they have a daughter as well same age as mine, they are happy next time there is an outburst for me to take my daughter to there's, so many people I owe thanks to.

I am going to tell the mother we are going to try different baby milk which is what I wanted to do when she was three months old, well I was trying but got stopped by her. she sent her to her mothers for two days to see if she could get her on the bottle (Stating after 9 kids she should know) All I could here was Gloria crying all the time, now bearing in mind there house is like a pig sty where the nieces are filthy and nopt told to shower. On the morning of the 3rd day I went to check on Gloria she was in her Rocker and her clothes were soaking wet the wife's mother was rocking her to sleep, I said Gloria wet and took her out she then put clean clothes on then proceeded to give her water from the palm of her hand which was far from clean. so this was getting my daughter on the bottle, when I looked as the bottles we had sent al the tops were covered in fly mess:

Well I picked up my daughter and took her back home and said your mama not know how to get her on the bottle and stated she is not to be left there again as the place is filthy :

So there is another story in the life of Gloria ( If I can get her off the breast it will be easier for me ) The mother might not like this but lets see

This is who it is all about my Princess

The face of innocence oblivious to what is happening and its my fault really for choosing the wrong partner I could post a picture of the mother but I am not that insensitive

Edited November 26, 2007 by macb

[Gary A]

I absolutely hate living alone and hate sleeping alone. There is very little reason for a man to sleep alone in Thailand. I seldom slept alone but at the same time I wanted a wife. I was ripe and vulnerable, BUT, it still took me ten years in Thailand to find one I thought I could live with. I have to say that the past four years with my Thai wife have been the best years of my life. We lived together for a year and a half before we got married. During that year and a half we established the ground rules. She is a great cook and housekeeper. I always have clean and ironed clothes and the floors get mopped everyday whether they need it or not.

All that said, I have no doubt that I am one of the most cynical crotchety old farts in Thailand and I'm NOT going to change. I have a condo and a pickup truck in MY name. I bought both before we were married. I have invested a considerable amount of money in her house and have bought her several pieces of land. If the day ever comes that she can no longer put up with me, I will throw my possessions in my truck and head back to the farang ghettos. I won't look back and will have considered that I have left her in pretty good shape. She can earn a living from the farm ground, she has a decent place to live, a motorcycle and a car to drive not to mention a new tractor to farm the ground I bought for her.

I have elaborated on this because there are no children involved in my situation. Since Mac has a child he should pack up and never hope to recover any money he has spent because it is NOT likely he would recover anything anyways. Leave her with whatever you have bought and consider it an investment in the child's future. No way can you raise a child here yourself at your age. Live well on your pension and be grateful that you have no more big nest egg to make any more serious mistakes. They can still get your money but they will have to do it a month at a time and put up with you to do it. Good luck.

Some guys have invested all they have and have no pension to fall back on. The have ignored the golden rule to NEVER spend more than you can afford to walk away from. Maybe your savings are gone, BUT, you will not miss any meals and your life will go on. consider yourself lucky to have a good pension. Choose wisely the next time. I wasted the first ten years here on too young of arm candy. Find an older gal who is self confident and NOT a clinging jealous type. Iam 62 and my wife is now 40. I might add that she never had any children and if she stays with me she will NEVER have children. I raised two children in the US and have been there and done that.

I'm sorry to not sympathize much but the bottom line is that you did screw up. You're not the first nor will you be the last. You do have the advantage that you can still have a good happy life and not worry about where your next meal is coming from.

[macb]

If I cant cope with the crap here while waiting for some movement from her or whatever i will leave but I will not forget or disown my daughter I will see her and I will buy her things when I do : If I thought that the wife had dumped her at her mothers I would just take her : I had two boys in UK and lost them to there mother, I am not letting that happen 100% here because her life and future would be lost

Edited November 26, 2007 by macb

[Goinghomesoon]

Mac I might be going against the grain. Before I met my current partner I was a single parent for many years. It's not easy but given what you've written it sounds as though your daughter would do better with an older, caring parent than with one that threatens her and potentially uses her as a pawn in relationship struggles.

In Thailand you should be able to set yourself up with a good meabaan to do the household stuff and concentrate on giving your daughter the best possible early years development. Just some food for thought, hope you both come through this okay.

Edited November 26, 2007 by Goinghomesoon

[macb]

The disconcerting thing is not knowing what is being said at her mothers or what she is saying to her sisters

Ron on the other side of the family said that none of them will talk to her, and I must say that I have not seen any conversations taking place in that area :

I just want the conclusions now so I know where I am at: Bricks and mortar well I would rather have happiness in a Condo or even a bloody tent than stay here and see my life shortened because there is no love and caring, when I stand back and look at the 3 years from the outside, I was shown some affection in the very early stages but I accepted the life style as normal but it was not there was no Romance there was no caring there was no love, two friends living together:

House Gold Diamonds land pick up looking after the family etc etc Well I will always have a big heart for everyone that's how me ole Mum raised me but not always a good idea in life as you kicked down to many times are well all part of life's learning curve, maybe I will stop learning soon and will have past the test soon and be given a wonderful break and blessed with the correct choice some one who will love me as I will love them :

Is that philosophy or just me Rambling on , maybe this will all go down as another good thread I hope it is enlightening and good information for God for Bid anyone in the same situation, there is some good advice here and support from friends :

I am indebted to Thai Visa for I have made a lot of friends from here :

[draggons]

Mac, only met you the once for a very short time. Sorry to here whats happened but you have a lot of mates up there in Issan and I'm sure you'll get through it all.

Hope it all works out for you and your daughter.

[disgruntled]

All the best with this. Sounds like taking your daughter with you and hiring help to raise her would be the best option. In my opinion leaving her with your wife would not really be showing her love if you think your wife is not responsible. Just curious who took care of your daughter at home? It's a heck of a lot of work to run after a 2 or 3 year old all the time. My wife does it and it wears her out.

[jEFFREYk44]

Never leave your daughter, I almost went broke fighting for my half Thai kids in Calif, my kids and I have never been close altho we are worlds apart

pm me if you need lawyer, may be able to get my lazy wife to help, maybe

[dee123]

macb I once went through an horrific period with my wife and family but we worked things out and are still together now.,...but I know there are so many "outside"influences that your wife is listening to.but do whats best for your daughter, but that does not necesarily mean separating her from her mother and relations .....good luck pal and keep safe.

[thedi]

I absolutely hate living alone and hate sleeping alone. There is very little reason for a man to sleep alone in Thailand. I seldom slept alone but at the same time I wanted a wife. I was ripe and vulnerable, BUT, it still took me ten years in Thailand to find one I thought I could live with. I have to say that the past four years with my Thai wife have been the best years of my life. We lived together for a year and a half before we got married. During that year and a half we established the ground rules. She is a great cook and housekeeper. I always have clean and ironed clothes and the floors get mopped everyday whether they need it or not.

All that said, I have no doubt that I am one of the most cynical crotchety old farts in Thailand and I'm NOT going to change. I have a condo and a pickup truck in MY name. I bought both before we were married. I have invested a considerable amount of money in her house and have bought her several pieces of land. If the day ever comes that she can no longer put up with me, I will throw my possessions in my truck and head back to the farang ghettos. I won't look back and will have considered that I have left her in pretty good shape. She can earn a living from the farm ground, she has a decent place to live, a motorcycle and a car to drive not to mention a new tractor to farm the ground I bought for her.

I have elaborated on this because there are no children involved in my situation. Since Mac has a child he should pack up and never hope to recover any money he has spent because it is NOT likely he would recover anything anyways. Leave her with whatever you have bought and consider it an investment in the child's future. No way can you raise a child here yourself at your age. Live well on your pension and be grateful that you have no more big nest egg to make any more serious mistakes. They can still get your money but they will have to do it a month at a time and put up with you to do it. Good luck.

Some guys have invested all they have and have no pension to fall back on. The have ignored the golden rule to NEVER spend more than you can afford to walk away from. Maybe your savings are gone, BUT, you will not miss any meals and your life will go on. consider yourself lucky to have a good pension. Choose wisely the next time. I wasted the first ten years here on too young of arm candy. Find an older gal who is self confident and NOT a clinging jealous type. Iam 62 and my wife is now 40. I might add that she never had any children and if she stays with me she will NEVER have children. I raised two children in the US and have been there and done that.

I'm sorry to not sympathize much but the bottom line is that you did screw up. You're not the first nor will you be the last. You do have the advantage that you can still have a good happy life and not worry about where your next meal is coming from.

Well said Gary A. I could never put it as clear and straight. I think this post should stand out, hence i cited it in a bigger font.

Thedi

Edited November 27, 2007 by thedi

[macb]

Well what a lovely day :

Slept upstairs locked my door encase pe bob came around, just sent an other email to Issan Lawyers, She has just gone to her mothers with the daughter, she had a phone call late last night, they are up to something or something is going on :

I need to get what I can I need the pick- up (She cant drive anyway) and maybe some her gold, Yes I got a good income each month, well I cant get ripped off again can I as was said only monthly

[thomo]

This thread is why I always tell people to NEVER NEVER put anything into anyone elses name here. There's no need, EVER.

Now this lad has or is about to lose a house.

Shame there's a kid involved.

To ALL noobies.

NEVER EVER EVER put anything into anyone elses name. That's not out of bitterness or anything like that. It's because there's no need and should things not work out in the future you get to keep everything you have.

...But not the house. The house was purchased by my Thai Limited Co. that I control

Great to hear that not every farang over here is as thick-as-a-brick.

Land of illusions for the easily self tricked...

Often to lose most of their recently acquired possesions after a few years due to not being like this guy

But not the house. The house was purchased by my Thai Limited Co. that I control

[joeuk1]

Well what a lovely day :

Slept upstairs locked my door encase pe bob came around, just sent an other email to Issan Lawyers, She has just gone to her mothers with the daughter, she had a phone call late last night, they are up to something or something is going on :

I need to get what I can I need the pick- up (She cant drive anyway) and maybe some her gold, Yes I got a good income each month, well I cant get ripped off again can I as was said only monthly

Macb

Why dont you sit down with your wife and chat with her , your biggest concern now is your baby .

Does she want to keep and take care of the baby ? is she a capable loving mother? will she give you access to your daughter so that you can take her away to spend quality time with you .

The bricks and motar .....if she keeps the baby surely you let her keep the house so that your baby has a decent roof over her head .Sending maintainace for your own flesh and blood is not a rip off its what decent men do when there marriage /relationship breaks down .

Stop thinking you were ripped off ...you married and the marriage broke down stop feeling sorry for yourself you have a life ahead of you as she does as well .

This woman has gone into a relationship with you it has not worked out she has a life as well , from your post she is as misreble as sin and has been for a long time .

Take the bull by the horns talk to her and work out whats best for you / her and your baby .

Your marriage is over you dont need anyone to tell you that now its time to work things out with your wife for your babys well being/ future and move on and rebuild your life its as simple as that .

JB

[macb]

Well what a lovely day :

Slept upstairs locked my door encase pe bob came around, just sent an other email to Issan Lawyers, She has just gone to her mothers with the daughter, she had a phone call late last night, they are up to something or something is going on :

I need to get what I can I need the pick- up (She cant drive anyway) and maybe some her gold, Yes I got a good income each month, well I cant get ripped off again can I as was said only monthly

Macb

Why dont you sit down with your wife and chat with her , your biggest concern now is your baby .

Does she want to keep and take care of the baby ? is she a capable loving mother? will she give you access to your daughter so that you can take her away to spend quality time with you .

The bricks and motar .....if she keeps the baby surely you let her keep the house so that your baby has a decent roof over her head .Sending maintainace for your own flesh and blood is not a rip off its what decent men do when there marriage /relationship breaks down .

Stop thinking you were ripped off ...you married and the marriage broke down stop feeling sorry for yourself you have a life ahead of you as she does as well .

This woman has gone into a relationship with you it has not worked out she has a life as well , from your post she is as misreble as sin and has been for a long time .

Take the bull by the horns talk to her and work out whats best for you / her and your baby .

Your marriage is over you dont need anyone to tell you that now its time to work things out with your wife for your babys well being/ future and move on and rebuild your life its as simple as that .

JB

I am well aware of the points you have made but some of the thread you may not have read : A mother that gets angry with her daughter a mother that shows a knife to her daughter and husband : I have to evaluate what is best, and giver her time to think about the options I gave her Thais cannot make hasty decisions and they wsill always take the middle road the easiest way out : My life will be put back in order but it does not happen overnight does it

[joeuk1]

Macb

I have read the whole thread ..........

The taking of a knife to you was a build up of frustration over a long period of time she wants this marriage over and you are driving her insane .

You have posted yourself that your wife spends her time downstairs with the baby laying on the floor with the baby and takes her to her mothers if the child was in danger you would not allow that to happen .......

She wants to see the back of you i would guess that if you sat down with her she would let you sell the house and take the money just so that she will get her life back on track .You post too much about bricks motar pick up truck gold what you have given to family for my liking , how about concerntrating on whats best for you all for all your happiness and futures .

Gold .......what man gives his wife presents and then thinks of taking them back ?

Reading this thread you seem prone to making one error after another .............

What man takes his wife to bkk especially a man that has his marriage in trouble to Nana bloody plaza hotel in the middle of the red light district in Bkk and leaves his wife and child in the room and goes out on the piss ?.

Much better option was to book a nice hotel with a pool and spend two or three days there with your wife and baby to see if there was anything left of your marriage ....taking it a stage further maybe even a nice holiday to hua hin of samui , some of that hard earned pension imho would have been well spent .

At least you could have said you gave it a try ...................

Macb your marriage is over now spend some of the time you spend on this forum talking to your wife and get yours/ hers and your babys life sorted and back on track so you can all find some happiness .

JB

[fruity]

Mac, when your wife pulled out the knife; who did she pull it on? You or your daughter? I'd guess it were you first? Ask yourself what made her do this? Such actions occur out of sheer frustration.

What we have here is a very unbalanced account of this situation, i.e., only things from your side / perspective. There are two sides to every story & your wife is being denied the opportunity of putting her side forward on this forum.

Lets be honest here, your wife has taken good care of your lovely little girl very well thus far; why would she now stop loving or caring for her? Reading between the lines here, I am a little sorry for your wife, someone who has been looking after a baby 24/7 for the past ten months & has by your own admission been shown zero attention from you!

As for taking her gold, well now, things certainly have deteriorated! This was given by you as a gift was it not? Taking this amounts to nothing more than theft.

I agree with joeuk, time to sit down with your wife in an adult fashion & talk everything through. Irregardless of what other posters have said here, IT IS THE BABY who is the most important one here, NOT YOU! Do what is in her best interests, stop feeling sorry for yourself & planning your future; plenty of time for you when you have sorted out what is going to happen with the child.

[pumpuiman]

Mac,

You seem to be getting a handle on things, your posts seem more clear, but please get away as soon as possible, that late night call worries me.

Go to see the lawyer in person, or call. I'm sure your aware of the extremely low possibility of a response to e-mail from a Thai business.....I myself have NEVER gotten a response to many requests for information from many different companies.....Get on your horse and ride.

If you'd like to hide out in Pimai.....I got 4 empty bedrooms....and my sister in law can help with the baby....she's taking care of her 14 month old niece now anyway, and I'm sure would fall in love with your beautiful half farang baby!! (they try to talk me in to making one all the time)

PM me if you'll consider it, and I'll make arrangements.....Oh and of course the good looking sister will be by from time to time

Let me know,

Watch your back,

Eric

[Naam]

Mac, when your wife pulled out the knife; who did she pull it on? You or your daughter? I'd guess it were you first? Ask yourself what made her do this?

no need to ask. wife pulling a knife = over and out!

[pumpuiman]

Mac, when your wife pulled out the knife; who did she pull it on? You or your daughter? I'd guess it were you first? Ask yourself what made her do this?

no need to ask. wife pulling a knife = over and out!

I agree.....she doesn't need a fukcing hug. SHE PULLED A KNIFE FOR GODS SAKE.

[Jimbo]

I assume you have spend lots of money during this marriage including money spend on land, house, car, gold etc. In case of a divorce you wont be getting back your fair share of what you have spend. If you do decide to take the gold then I can completely understand and I think that its insane that previous posters would consider this dishonest and theft. You are the one getting shafted in the end. Even if it was a gift from you to her then it still is part of the assets that you own together and you should be entitled to your share.

Edited November 27, 2007 by Jimbo

[joeuk1]

She has TOLD macb i am bored with you and i want this marriage over .

Its a polite way of saying i dont love you or care about you and i want you the <deleted> out of my life .

She has for a long period of time told macb that she wants him out of her life , she does not sleep with him she does not cook or wash his clothes she is so depressed that macb does not just pack up and leave for her its over and has been for a long time ( by the way we dont know why she pulled the knife ) why did she pull the knife macb my guess is you were doing her head in ?

This marriage is over .... THIS MARRIAGE IS OVER .

Imho its about time macb did the decent thing and left and let his wife get on with her life and started to rebuild his .

The babys welfare the sorting of house car etc etc and all be sorted when they sit down and talk ( if thats possible ) .

JB

[thomo]

Why oh why put acquisitions into an other person's name? another lesson learned the hard way. It's the last time he's gonna do that.

Noobs make sure to read this thread.

[joeuk1]

Why oh why put acquisitions into an other person's name? another lesson learned the hard way. It's the last time he's gonna do that.

Noobs make sure to read this thread.

Thomo how much land in Thailand do you have in YOUR name ?

To build a detached house land is needed so how do you buy it in your OWN name .

JB