Is This Just Another " Sick Buffalo"- Story?

[intumult]

pray tell me, where did she learn to speak English?

I have wondered myself, but that does not detract from a good person, sometimes you just have to let the past go, for the sake of the future.

Depending on how much English the girl can speak and the quality of her language .....

A girl i was with for over 6 months spoke a little English when I met her but was given Thai - English books by her friends. Each day she learned new phrases and it was surprising how quickly she could speak the language. Add to that the fact some of her friends either had Farang boyfriends or husbands and they also helped her speak English.

So, I do not feel that her speaking English is so detrimental to her case.

As for the baby and the debt, when you are certain the baby is yours it has to be down to your conscience. Seems to me that you have already proved to the world you have been a conscientious father where your other children are concerned.

Where the debt is concerned pay a little and often if you are sure deep down that it is genuine. The advice to pay smaller amounts in previous posts is - to me - the better option.

We know Thai girls do go to work in Pattaya / Phuket and other places for better money and do not ALL have to work as B/G. Also we know that many Thai and their families get into loan sharks for anything from School Uniforms to buying a motorbike and sometimes the only way is to go South and earn more to pay the crippling interest.

Sorry to hear of your plight and as for the cynics out there, well, something must have happened to make them cynical, maybe they have been burn't badly by a Thai woman and this is their way of seeking some sort of redress.

[blizzard]

why does it matter if one has been burnt by a thai girl or not?

this guy is not wanting to accept the responsibility that goes with fathering a a poor thai baby, anyone can see that.

and he comparing himself to manjara who actually seems to be a good dad.

Edited February 11, 2008 by blizzard

[snowflake]

Talk to the loan shark, ask him/her how much and if there is a signed loan agreement somewhere (there might be one) then talk to the girl, do you still want to be with her? give her the money, it's "only 100.000Bt, sure not a petty sum but not so much...

Do you send anything over every month for care of your child? Do you support either of them? if you do tell the shark that you will pay some debt everymonth and not all in once...

Everyone wants to make money here, you will lose in the end unless you pay something... How long did she stay with you? How long did she take care of you? Is she still working in Pattaya?

What was your first reaction when you heard it? Pay or not? Follow that, you know the girl better than the rest of us.

Does the Brit in Pattaya know the girl? Why did he say she would take the lot???

Do what you feel is right, don't listen to much to angry sappy old men like me and the others here...

[dannyh2000uk]

Hey Dropkick, my bolthole is actually in On-Nut, Suk 77, If your selection of Avatar is a window to how you think of yourself, I'm not suprised by your responses to this thread.

My apologies,I should not rise to the bait. I must constantly remind myself "If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all"

With respect, having 'nice things to say' doesnt really help this guy does it. Your post only serves to perpetuate what Briggsy said . . it encourages him to procrastinate and wallow in self-pity. It's telling he only really replies to those posts (like yours) which offer little except easy to articulate pleasantries about how lovely his gf is, how unlucky he's been, and how life can only get better.

Blah blah bloody blah.

So you're a lovely guy, and i'm a jerk. Tell us something we didnt already know.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, his irresponsibility has created yet another life which he can't afford to keep and here he is worrying that the daughter's mother is trying to scam him (at the same time as exhorting to us how he can only see beauty in her soul).

<deleted>, which is it man? Is she a good woman or is she a cheating whore? Only you can decide and it's no point asking us - a bunch of indifferent cyber entities - to look at some sickly sweet youtube video to decide for you. You've said over and over again that she is a lovely girl, so why the hel_l are you baulking about send a piss poor 1,500 quid to her?

Grow a backbone and be a man.

Well if that is the measure Of a man then I was more a man 15 years ago when this amount was just a weekend out.

but I am here asking on the fact that principle means more.

if you have 100k then it means nothing, like the rich man being fined in court

[dannyh2000uk]

why does it matter if one has been burnt by a thai girl or not?

and he comparing himself to manjara who actually seems to be a good dad.

What do you qualify as a good dad, .

I took my kids everywhere, I got them a great place to live outside london.

I stopped working abroad and built my work place at home so I could see them24/7, I did their pack lunches before they went to school, I took them to school, I picked them up, and still i worked,

Now please oh expert tell me what a good dad should be

[midasthailand]

Hey Dropkick, my bolthole is actually in On-Nut, Suk 77, If your selection of Avatar is a window to how you think of yourself, I'm not suprised by your responses to this thread.

My apologies,I should not rise to the bait. I must constantly remind myself "If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all"

With respect, having 'nice things to say' doesnt really help this guy does it. Your post only serves to perpetuate what Briggsy said . . it encourages him to procrastinate and wallow in self-pity. It's telling he only really replies to those posts (like yours) which offer little except easy to articulate pleasantries about how lovely his gf is, how unlucky he's been, and how life can only get better.

Blah blah bloody blah.

So you're a lovely guy, and i'm a jerk. Tell us something we didnt already know.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, his irresponsibility has created yet another life which he can't afford to keep and here he is worrying that the daughter's mother is trying to scam him (at the same time as exhorting to us how he can only see beauty in her soul).

<deleted>, which is it man? Is she a good woman or is she a cheating whore? Only you can decide and it's no point asking us - a bunch of indifferent cyber entities - to look at some sickly sweet youtube video to decide for you. You've said over and over again that she is a lovely girl, so why the hel_l are you baulking about send a piss poor 1,500 quid to her?

Grow a backbone and be a man.

So Bendix, it would appear that you and I are giving Dan the same advice, send the girl the money! I knew you would come round to my way of thinking, I am not such a lovely guy and you are not such a jerk after all. By the way Neernam the date I joined TV has no relationship to how long I have lived in Thailand, Only how long I have owned a laptop.

[blizzard]

yr uk kids are done with so to speak. im assuming they r grown up. and if they r not , why r u having intimacy with a poor issarn lady.

a good dad would go to los and get a job as engish teecher and raise your kid! momma will see what a good man you r and get herself a job and pay her own debt.................lol.

you never know maybe u got the nextt tata on yr hands...............

Edited February 11, 2008 by blizzard

[dannyh2000uk]

yr uk kids are done with so to speak. im assuming they r grown up.

a good dad would go to los and get a job as engish teecher and raise your kid! momma will see what a good man you r and get herself a job and pay her own debt.................lol.

are you stoned on yaa baa-lol.

as far as I am aware LOS as tightened up , now you need a degree to teach, and having said that.

I am much better off earning here in Uk and sending cash there

Edited February 11, 2008 by dannyh2000uk

[vrsushi]

This is a great thread.

OP I think that you may well be going through your mid life crisis and that you have to wake up and smell the coffee.

Is this near the mark?

You've managed to maintain a career of sorts in the music business, but if truth be told what you have earned in the last 10 years wouldn't really qualify it as more than a hobby.

You've lived the life of a man in his 20's (sex and drugs and rock n roll) and have found that you have slowly been pushed out the game as a new younger crowd push their way in.

Your life imploded, no job or family, possibly future (as you had known it)and you dealt with it by way of distractions.

2 years later you have a Thai kid and what you know to be a lovely women.

Trouble is, lets be honest, she was ment to be a distraction NOT a new life. Your world is one of creative, educated people in a western country NOT simple rice farmers from Issan(no matter how lovely they are)

Can you spend the rest of your life with a women that you dont really have anything in common with and be a father to her child? But you feel the child must be your responsibility (who else could it be?)

A. Bring just the kid over...........and what about the mother?

B. Bring them both over.............and ultimately let your life slip into absurdity

C. Go to Thailand.......................and be an English teacher living with rice farmers

D. Send some money over..........accept being another absentee father and hope the money gets used wisely

Hmmm, not good choices.

I do think though that you have to consider A. the child is yours and B. your gf is a nice person who like all of us is just looking for a nice life. I can't help feeling that somebody is bound to be getting hurt here and the only real question is are you mature/man/fool enough(you choose) to make sure that it isn't first the baby, second, the girl and lastly you.

[Briggsy]

yr uk kids are done with so to speak. im assuming they r grown up.

a good dad would go to los and get a job as engish teecher and raise your kid! momma will see what a good man you r and get herself a job and pay her own debt.................lol.

are you stoned on yaa baa-lol.

as far as I am aware LOS as tightened up , now you need a degree to teach, and having said that.

I am much better off earning here in Uk and sending cash there

More excuses to himself for continued inaction.

Hold on, I've got a better idea. I tell the OP what he wants to hear.

You're better off where you are, mate. You don't want to come over here. Your kid's fine with the mother-in-law. Don't worry about a thing. She's being looked after fine. I mean, look how she successfully raised her other kids. They turned out fine, morally upright, out of prison and all holding down jobs. And they treat kids lovely here too. You might as well leave her here for years. There's none of that sexual abuse like they have in England. The schools are great - tons of discipline and the hospitals are fabulous and so cheap only 30 Baht.

And your girlfriend will wait for you, of course, patiently working her clothes stall in Trat. She doesn't go near Pattaya any more. She's finished with all that. Not that she was working there in the first place. In fact, you were the first foreigner she ever met.

You don't need to worry about a thing. You've spotted a real diamond in the rough there.

Oh and of course it's your kid. There's no doubt about that.

All these blokes who get taken for a ride in Thailand, they're idiots, not the same as you. You're different as is your girlfriend. Send as much cash as you can. Maybe you could do something illegal to get your hands on cash quickly. I mean her family needs it much more than you do.

You've been dealt a rough hand recently and you deserve some time out to recover. Just ignore all those people who want to get on your case. They've probably been handed it all on a plate. You've done bloody well in the face of very trying circumstances.

[Westerner]

why does it matter if one has been burnt by a thai girl or not?

and he comparing himself to manjara who actually seems to be a good dad.

What do you qualify as a good dad, .

I took my kids everywhere, I got them a great place to live outside london.

I stopped working abroad and built my work place at home so I could see them24/7, I did their pack lunches before they went to school, I took them to school, I picked them up, and still i worked,

Now please oh expert tell me what a good dad should be

Another thing I don't get - if you are such a wonderful husband by providing your wife with a lovely house etc. and taking such great care of her and your 4 kids .......... why the hel_l is she divorcing you?

[bendix]

LMFAO.

And the award for the post of the day goes to . . .. . . . BRIGGSY

[Westerner]

why does it matter if one has been burnt by a thai girl or not?

and he comparing himself to manjara who actually seems to be a good dad.

What do you qualify as a good dad, .

I took my kids everywhere, I got them a great place to live outside london.

I stopped working abroad and built my work place at home so I could see them24/7, I did their pack lunches before they went to school, I took them to school, I picked them up, and still i worked,

Now please oh expert tell me what a good dad should be

Another thing I don't get - if you are such a wonderful husband by providing your wife with a lovely house etc. and taking such great care of her and your 4 kids .......... why the hel_l is she divorcing you?

Could it be because of the mia noi

[dannyh2000uk]

yr uk kids are done with so to speak. im assuming they r grown up.

a good dad would go to los and get a job as engish teecher and raise your kid! momma will see what a good man you r and get herself a job and pay her own debt.................lol.

are you stoned on yaa baa-lol.

as far as I am aware LOS as tightened up , now you need a degree to teach, and having said that.

I am much better off earning here in Uk and sending cash there

More excuses to himself for continued inaction.

Hold on, I've got a better idea. I tell the OP what he wants to hear.

You're better off where you are, mate. You don't want to come over here. Your kid's fine with the mother-in-law. Don't worry about a thing. She's being looked after fine. I mean, look how she successfully raised her other kids. They turned out fine, morally upright, out of prison and all holding down jobs. And they treat kids lovely here too. You might as well leave her here for years. There's none of that sexual abuse like they have in England. The schools are great - tons of discipline and the hospitals are fabulous and so cheap only 30 Baht.

And your girlfriend will wait for you, of course, patiently working her clothes stall in Trat. She doesn't go near Pattaya any more. She's finished with all that. Not that she was working there in the first place. In fact, you were the first foreigner she ever met.

You don't need to worry about a thing. You've spotted a real diamond in the rough there.

Oh and of course it's your kid. There's no doubt about that.

All these blokes who get taken for a ride in Thailand, they're idiots, not the same as you. You're different as is your girlfriend. Send as much cash as you can. Maybe you could do something illegal to get your hands on cash quickly. I mean her family needs it much more than you do.

You've been dealt a rough hand recently and you deserve some time out to recover. Just ignore all those people who want to get on your case. They've probably been handed it all on a plate. You've done bloody well in the face of very trying circumstances.

I can't work out if your being sarcastic, but even if not, bloody funny post thank you

[bendix]

I can't work out if your being sarcastic, but even if not, bloody funny post thank you

If you can't work out if he's being sarcastic, I'm afraid you're beyond helping.

[dannyh2000uk]

why does it matter if one has been burnt by a thai girl or not?

and he comparing himself to manjara who actually seems to be a good dad.

What do you qualify as a good dad, .

I took my kids everywhere, I got them a great place to live outside london.

I stopped working abroad and built my work place at home so I could see them24/7, I did their pack lunches before they went to school, I took them to school, I picked them up, and still i worked,

Now please oh expert tell me what a good dad should be

Another thing I don't get - if you are such a wonderful husband by providing your wife with a lovely house etc. and taking such great care of her and your 4 kids .......... why the hel_l is she divorcing you?

After the Tsunami she changed into a back tatooed, belly pieced, toy boy lover, I guess she just wanted to grab life and thanks to her friends, the kids, the car, the house etc, etc, you'll be there oneday, I thought my marriage of 18 years was for life, but my friend women are a bit more into the planning .

Edited February 11, 2008 by dannyh2000uk

[dannyh2000uk]

I can't work out if your being sarcastic, but even if not, bloody funny post thank you

If you can't work out if he's being sarcastic, I'm afraid you're beyond helping.

if you can't work out I was tongue in cheek then ce le vie.

my god you are a tough crowd

[dannyh2000uk]

This is a great thread.

OP I think that you may well be going through your mid life crisis and that you have to wake up and smell the coffee.

Is this near the mark?

You've managed to maintain a career of sorts in the music business, but if truth be told what you have earned in the last 10 years wouldn't really qualify it as more than a hobby.

You've lived the life of a man in his 20's (sex and drugs and rock n roll) and have found that you have slowly been pushed out the game as a new younger crowd push their way in.

Your life imploded, no job or family, possibly future (as you had known it)and you dealt with it by way of distractions.

2 years later you have a Thai kid and what you know to be a lovely women.

Trouble is, lets be honest, she was ment to be a distraction NOT a new life. Your world is one of creative, educated people in a western country NOT simple rice farmers from Issan(no matter how lovely they are)

Can you spend the rest of your life with a women that you dont really have anything in common with and be a father to her child? But you feel the child must be your responsibility (who else could it be?)

A. Bring just the kid over...........and what about the mother?

B. Bring them both over.............and ultimately let your life slip into absurdity

C. Go to Thailand.......................and be an English teacher living with rice farmers

D. Send some money over..........accept being another absentee father and hope the money gets used wisely

Hmmm, not good choices.

I do think though that you have to consider A. the child is yours and B. your gf is a nice person who like all of us is just looking for a nice life. I can't help feeling that somebody is bound to be getting hurt here and the only real question is are you mature/man/fool enough(you choose) to make sure that it isn't first the baby, second, the girl and lastly you.

My friend you are a true sage. Thank you for your advice

[Briggsy]

I can't work out if your being sarcastic, but even if not, bloody funny post thank you

If you can't work out if he's being sarcastic, I'm afraid you're beyond helping.

if you can't work out I was tongue in cheek then ce le vie.

my god you are a tough crowd

Tough? tough? You think this is tough? "Tough" is when, 13 years from now, mother-in-law repeats the process of pushing her granddaughter into prostitution having done it to daughter already 'cos the lure of the cash is too much to resist and nobody is around to stop her. Now that would be 'tough'.

[thaihedgehog]

What ever problems the OP had with his ex-wife and money, he is in his 40's <deleted> and he never saved a penny into his own bank account?? he must have known before he had is crash that his money was coming to an end?? why didn't he do anything about that?? is 100,000 baht alot of money?? i don't think so coming from a skint 29 year old teacher in Thailand.

IMO the child is better off here in Thailand with Grandmother than with a skint, homeless father!!

[dannyh2000uk]

What ever problems the OP had with his ex-wife and money, he is in his 40's <deleted> and he never saved a penny into his own bank account?? he must have known before he had is crash that his money was coming to an end?? why didn't he do anything about that?? is 100,000 baht alot of money?? i don't think so coming from a skint 29 year old teacher in Thailand.

IMO the child is better off here in Thailand with Grandmother than with a skint, homeless father!!

please read the whole post, I had plenty of cash but was taken off my bank account ( something that now I am back in Uk the ombudsman is looking into).

and also where does cash=love have we become that jaded?????

[thaihedgehog]

What ever problems the OP had with his ex-wife and money, he is in his 40's <deleted> and he never saved a penny into his own bank account?? he must have known before he had is crash that his money was coming to an end?? why didn't he do anything about that?? is 100,000 baht alot of money?? i don't think so coming from a skint 29 year old teacher in Thailand.

IMO the child is better off here in Thailand with Grandmother than with a skint, homeless father!!

please read the whole post, I had plenty of cash but was taken off my bank account ( something that now I am back in Uk the ombudsman is looking into).

and also where does cash=love have we become that jaded?????

I have read the whole post mate, what i was saying why didn't you have your own bank account?? i have been married to my Thai wife for 5 years and we have 2 kids. We have a shared account and then we both have are own bank accounts, where we decide ourself how much we want to save or spend!!

Not rocket science

[ozzydom]

why does it matter if one has been burnt by a thai girl or not?

and he comparing himself to manjara who actually seems to be a good dad.

What do you qualify as a good dad, .

I took my kids everywhere, I got them a great place to live outside london.

I stopped working abroad and built my work place at home so I could see them24/7, I did their pack lunches before they went to school, I took them to school, I picked them up, and still i worked,

Now please oh expert tell me what a good dad should be

Another thing I don't get - if you are such a wonderful husband by providing your wife with a lovely house etc. and taking such great care of her and your 4 kids .......... why the hel_l is she divorcing you?

Could it be because of the mia noi

Westerner, If you had followed the thread instead of just looking for opportunities to head stomp ,then you would have known that the guys UK wife was involved in a relationship before he came back to Thailand.

[dannyh2000uk]

I'm sorry why did my Uk wife leave me?, because I didn't insist on my own bank account?

We are so off the original post here

[Payboy]

I'm sorry why did my Uk wife leave me?, because I didn't insist on my own bank account?

We are so off the original post here

for your child's sake, i seriously hope that you are also looking for advice somewhere else, other than on this forum....

[pattyboy]

It sounds like you and Ms. X have been through a lot together over a substantial amount of time, and it also seems that she's aware that you are not a man of great means. To me, 100,000 baht isn't a great deal of money (in comparison to the sin sod and "sick buffalo" stories I've read here at TV). I'm usually one of the first people to be skeptical of the stories that Thai women tell farang to get them to open there wallets and their hearts, but the relatively small amount (and assuming this is the first/only time she's has asked for your financial assistance) makes me feel that perhaps this gal is on the up and up. Quickly scanning through the posts, it seems that there has been fairly equal representation for both sides of the coin. Unfortunately, that probably doesn't help you to decide whether or not to believe this girl, so you've really got to trust your instincts. The welfare of your child is involved, and for me that would be a huge factor that would likely cause me to find some cash to help out in the situation. Once again, the fact that she's stuck with you during times that have been both difficult and financially lean says something positive about this young lady.

I think some of the best advise that has been given is to ask her for a copy of the loan agreement. Explain that you want to help her family but don't have the cash available, so you must go to the bank for a loan, and a copy of the lease agreement could help secure a loan (although we all know it wouldn't really). Doing this would send her the message (or reminder) that you're not rolling in dough, and it would also serve as some type of gauge to determine how legitimate her story is. If she gives you some unlikely or illogical stories about why no paperwork can be supplied, perhaps the red light should go on and the alarm should sound.

Good luck

[dannyh2000uk]

well f##k it I have jumped in and asked my parents who are loaded if they are willing to help until i can pay them back.

I have never asked them for anything since I left home at 16

It is their granddaughter after all and the thai granny is having to do all the work.

Knowing my mum she will say " do one" but that is the way we do things in Farange land.

Family here means - piss off-lol

If they won't help I will just do all I can, sod it.

[thaihedgehog]

It sounds like you and Ms. X have been through a lot together over a substantial amount of time, and it also seems that she's aware that you are not a man of great means. To me, 100,000 baht isn't a great deal of money (in comparison to the sin sod and "sick buffalo" stories I've read here at TV). I'm usually one of the first people to be skeptical of the stories that Thai women tell farang to get them to open there wallets and their hearts, but the relatively small amount (and assuming this is the first/only time she's has asked for your financial assistance) makes me feel that perhaps this gal is on the up and up. Quickly scanning through the posts, it seems that there has been fairly equal representation for both sides of the coin. Unfortunately, that probably doesn't help you to decide whether or not to believe this girl, so you've really got to trust your instincts. The welfare of your child is involved, and for me that would be a huge factor that would likely cause me to find some cash to help out in the situation. Once again, the fact that she's stuck with you during times that have been both difficult and financially lean says something positive about this young lady.

I think some of the best advise that has been given is to ask her for a copy of the loan agreement. Explain that you want to help her family but don't have the cash available, so you must go to the bank for a loan, and a copy of the lease agreement could help secure a loan (although we all know it wouldn't really). Doing this would send her the message (or reminder) that you're not rolling in dough, and it would also serve as some type of gauge to determine how legitimate her story is. If she gives you some unlikely or illogical stories about why no paperwork can be supplied, perhaps the red light should go on and the alarm should sound.

Good luck

Great advice!! How many more replies does the OP want before he his going to make up his OWN mind?? Life is full of risk's, take a chance and get on with it. good luck...

[dannyh2000uk]

It sounds like you and Ms. X have been through a lot together over a substantial amount of time, and it also seems that she's aware that you are not a man of great means. To me, 100,000 baht isn't a great deal of money (in comparison to the sin sod and "sick buffalo" stories I've read here at TV). I'm usually one of the first people to be skeptical of the stories that Thai women tell farang to get them to open there wallets and their hearts, but the relatively small amount (and assuming this is the first/only time she's has asked for your financial assistance) makes me feel that perhaps this gal is on the up and up. Quickly scanning through the posts, it seems that there has been fairly equal representation for both sides of the coin. Unfortunately, that probably doesn't help you to decide whether or not to believe this girl, so you've really got to trust your instincts. The welfare of your child is involved, and for me that would be a huge factor that would likely cause me to find some cash to help out in the situation. Once again, the fact that she's stuck with you during times that have been both difficult and financially lean says something positive about this young lady.

I think some of the best advise that has been given is to ask her for a copy of the loan agreement. Explain that you want to help her family but don't have the cash available, so you must go to the bank for a loan, and a copy of the lease agreement could help secure a loan (although we all know it wouldn't really). Doing this would send her the message (or reminder) that you're not rolling in dough, and it would also serve as some type of gauge to determine how legitimate her story is. If she gives you some unlikely or illogical stories about why no paperwork can be supplied, perhaps the red light should go on and the alarm should sound.

Good luck

thanks pattyboy, that all seems very logical, and a way forward

[Boo]

Ok people, this topic has gone well off the tracks. I think the OP has done a pretty good job of not losing his temper & flaming people who have insulted him & made incredibly rude comments about his thai gf.

If you can't post without flaming or being rude then dont post anymore.

OP, I think you know what you need to do already, you asked if this girl was scamming you & lots of people have commented on it either way, only you can decide & choose what is best & if you can afford to potentially lose that kind of money but really, the kid is the only one you need to be worried about so do what you think is best for her welfare & sod the rest.