Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Thailand News and Discussion Forum | ASEANNOW

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

What Pisses Me Off! / Makes Me Laugh!

Featured Replies

I was sitting in my house today and started laughing as I thought how good I have it.

I got up at 10.30 was handed the daily orange juice and bacon and egg sandwich from the MRS and then sat down on the computer and played games/internet until 5 ish. My mate then arrived and we did a little gym and then went down the beach for 1 hour. I came home and then ate again and now Im back on here. The day was great as it is most days. It cost nothing also. Life is good :D

I have just got used to the sleep in and it is the way. :D

Supper time now. :D

This thread is tongue in cheek, it could even get funny :o . over to you FTH to set the standard :D

I woke up this morning and thought about going jogging along the beach, I decided against it, as I do every morning.

For the first time this week I didn't have any early meetings so I had the luxury of answering the over night emails and checking the champions league results from home in my boxers, a long poo reading the paper, a long shower, lots of coffee - this is the nicest way to start a work day.

The boot of my car was open when I got down to the car park, all my dj equipment was in there! Panic!! my dj equipment was still there, I must have not shut the boot properly from last night - god I love Thailand, this would never happen back in UK.

As I drove to the office a motorcyclist came off his bike and slid across the yellow line into my path, I marvelled at what fine Thai driving instincts I've honed over the years that enabled me to take the necessary evasive action, with no fuss, bother, or raised heart rate - felt sorry for him, but som nom na, he'll drive slower next time.

Cleared my office inbox of 80 non-spam emails, felt like a mountain had been lifted, treated myself to an afternoon of TV and laughed manically as all the BG threads tumbled, I paid the staff, got covered in more wee from that <deleted>*king upstairs toilet and tried to call RC to postpone our piss up.

On the way home I stopped at Big C to pick up my repaired phone - the buggers told me it was fixed, what they meant was it was unfixable, mobiles 'no like Heineken' apparently. They took back their lended phone.

I was queing up at the ATM to draw out 10,000 for a new phone and guess what? It was payday - although only 3 people out of 112 actually drew out cash. I went and bought steak, then some DVD's from the queer lads downstairs - they might be gay but they have the best DVD's this side of Nagasaki, he tried to set me up with one of his female friends called 'No hooker', but we took the middle ground and settled on some nice porn (Note - 'The passion of Christ' isn't porn, although it is about <deleted>*king jesus)

Got home with my steak, porn, new phone (with camera) and made a plan for the evening. :o

Amazing Thailand.

See you tomorrow night RC!

Woke up about 9am this morning… walked downstairs to make myself a nice bacon sarnie and washed it down with a nice cold glass of OJ. Thought about going for a walk on the beach then realised I was in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire (UK), not many beaches to walk on here..! :o

Spent 30 mins on the phone talking (well listening mainly) to my gorgeous Thai girlfriend…. Happy feelings, good times.. :D

10.30am.. time to start my commute to work… walked out the door and locked it, doubled checked I locked it, started on my walk to the bus stop, 5 minutes later turned round and went back to the house, Had I locked the door, can’t remember, confirmed I had actually locked the door and restarted my journey.

Couldn’t really be bothered with the walk to the bus stop so I looked around for a Motorbike Taxi… then realised I wasn’t in Thailand and had to walk….. Got to the bus stop and it started raining, black clouds everywhere and pretty chilly, shame I’d forgotten my coat..! :D

Got on the bus, showed my pass and settled in for the journey. Everyone looked miserable, the only person talking was a young mother (17yrs I reckon) telling her child it better F***ing shut or it’ll get a belt…. No one wants to make eye contact..

So bus journey finishes, and I alight, feeling a bit peckish I look around for the Som Tam lady, or listen for the bell of the Barbecue Chicken lady… oops I forgot, not in Thailand, I’ll have to settle for a soggy baguette from the Spar shop (£2.80), Mmm delicious… :D

Still raining…. I look for a motorbike taxi to take me the last mile to my work, ######, not in Thailand, I’ll have to walk… in the rain… :D

Arrive at work, quick chat with the big boss… then down to it, e-mails, reports, this problem, that problem, look out the window, grey, grey, grey…

Log on to TV, do a bit of reading…. Forget about work, life ain’t so bad…

So still here at work , home in 6 hours, LOS in 57 days… for a long long rest…Can’t wait !!

totster :wub:

I woke up this morning and thought about going jogging along the beach, I decided against it, as I do every morning.

For the first time this week I didn't have any early meetings so I had the luxury of answering the over night emails and checking the champions league results from home in my boxers, a long poo reading the paper, a long shower, lots of coffee - this is the nicest way to start a work day.

The boot of my car was open when I got down to the car park, all my dj equipment was in there! Panic!! my dj equipment was still there, I must have not shut the boot properly from last night - god I love Thailand, this would never happen back in UK.

As I drove to the office a motorcyclist came off his bike and slid across the yellow line into my path, I marvelled at what fine Thai driving instincts I've honed over the years that enabled me to take the necessary evasive action, with no fuss, bother, or raised heart rate - felt sorry for him, but som nom na, he'll drive slower next time.

Cleared my office inbox of 80 non-spam emails, felt like a mountain had been lifted, treated myself to an afternoon of TV and laughed manically as all the BG threads tumbled, I paid the staff, got covered in more wee from that <deleted>*king upstairs toilet and tried to call RC to postpone our piss up.

On the way home I stopped at Big C to pick up my repaired phone - the buggers told me it was fixed, what they meant was it was unfixable, mobiles 'no like Heineken' apparently. They took back their lended phone.

I was queing up at the ATM to draw out 10,000 for a new phone and guess what? It was payday - although only 3 people out of 112 actually drew out cash. I went and bought steak, then some DVD's from the queer lads downstairs - they might be gay but they have the best DVD's this side of Nagasaki, he tried to set me up with one of his female friends called 'No hooker', but we took the middle ground and settled on some nice porn (Note - 'The passion of Christ' isn't porn, although it is about <deleted>*king jesus)

Got home with my steak, porn, new phone (with camera) and made a plan for the evening. :o

Amazing Thailand.

See you tomorrow night RC!

How much did they charge you for those DVDs? I keep getting multiple prices from those dudes. When I questioned about the fluctuating prices, they told me Patong wasn't too far away. Buggers.

Woke up this morning, felt like shit.

Considered what made me feel this way, decided it as still my ribs hurting after coming off my motorbike after a night "on the town" with FTH some 10 days ago.

Got to work, did some stuff, published a load of new software, had an afternoon of debugging and sorting out problems. 4pm i log onto TV (usually earlier, busy day) got abso-bloody-lutely aggrevated at the number of crap posts on the board, blew a gasket at george and got his permission to lock everything.

Locked everything

Felt much better afterwards, sank a few beers, decided to do some more mod work... always easier to do this after a skinful.

Wrote this, went to bed (ok, this bit is future tense)

What had i done in the UK. The same but i couldnt afford to go drinking afterwards.

God bless Thailand. :o

I'm with Wolfie today - not feeling too hot.

Woke up 10am. Shower, shave, lock up the house up and drive to the office. 10:30am - Traffic at Bang Na not so bad, only took 5 mins to clear. The rest of the journey on the tollway was an easy 20mins.

Another setback on a protocol I'm working on for this satcom mail software - Problems with the way it handles packets when their TTL has expired. Think I figured it out over lunch though - will hopefully have it back on track by the end of today.

Tonnes of blimping to be done at Tops and Starbucks. Thai girls - the main reason I love it here :o My girlfriend just came to my desk to tell me about the doctors - 25,000 baht out of her own pocket to remove some spots on her face!!! Expensive for Thais. How can I make that up to her? Looks like I'll be paying for everything for the next year or two... :D

Will probably leave the office 8pm and go for a few beers with the other expat staff. DJ'ing later tonight at Ezze, RCA. If the crowd last weekend was anything to go by, it should be a blast. Waiting for some more tunes to arrive from Juno and HTFR in the UK. Order was made over a week ago and still no sign. Would be a nuclear pain in the arse if they've gone missing (again).

This place is home. 3 years so far and no plans of returning to the UK. Might base myself somewhere else in SE Asia if these nightlife laws get sillier, but we'll wait and see for that one.

I take it the majority of you guys are based in Phuket? Would like to meet up for a beer sometime.

Thaksins new law to help the war on chicken flu: All birds must have 10,000 baht on their person before crossing the border. Credit cards not accepted.

30-Sep-04

I woke up at 7.30am. Fantastic morning, daddy was still away. Walked around and decided what to wear. <deleted>, half an hour passed. Picked all black for payday. Took a shower. Got dressed. Man, I looked quite good. Walked to the office. Shitty my right foot was still in pain. My bad. I just slammed the door the other day. And for some reason, my right foot was in the way. So, there you go. Purple mark on my foot. And a bit swollen. Pretty.

Got some w*rk done. Boring <deleted>. Some problems were really hard to solve. And people were being totally unreliable. <deleted>, I hated my job. So, logged on and checked the forum. Talked <deleted> a bit and then back to w*rk.

Got to chat with a few old farts in the chat and was told Scampy was going to Phuket. And RC. Oh no... I wanna go too! <deleted> it, I'm so going. Rang the new love of my life. We just had a huge fight a week ago, but now we're good again. I told him I was going to Phuket sometime in October. It's my bloody birthday anyway. He said he would go with me... again. Right, we'll see. He was not in BKK. So, we'll talk about it when he gets back.

Now, bored again. So, I texted Scampy asking him about his plans for Phuket visit. He sounded quite cheerful. Nice. Made me want to go even more. Never mind. Waited for a couple of days and I'll know what I'm going to do.

I sat on my arse all evening watching boring crap on UBC. Just when are they going to stop all those re-run movies? Finished dinner.. and <deleted> was driving in now? Oh.. for <deleted>'s sake.. it's dad! Only 9.30pm and he's back from Chiang Rai!?! I knew he would be back that night. But 9.30pm?!? And probably pissed. For my own sake, I had to leave my beloved telly. And sneaked into my office. <deleted>. I could hide in here for a while. So, came online again. Posted a little bit. Then, the Darling came online.

Right, we've become friends, but the old habits are still there. Chit-chatted about this and that. And then slipped out "You know I've planned to go to Phuket. I think I am going sometime next week. Wanna tag along?". Then, it hit me.. Oh <deleted>... what about the new love of my life? Was my mouth attached to my brain?

<deleted>.. he asked when. Why didn't he just say "I don't think it's a good idea, baby"? It turned out he was going to Tokyo for a few days and would probably come back on Tuesday or Wednesday. Aha! If Wednesday, he wouldn't be able to make it as I wanted to leave BKK no later than Wednesday! Jolly good. So I told him and he said "We'll have to wait and see. I might be back earlier. I'll call you when I get back." Oh... err.. right. Okey dokey, pumpkin! Have a safe trip! And no rush!

Ok... now... don't panic. Everything is under control. Just wait for the new love of my life to come back this weekend and see what happens. And take it from there. Don't panic. Really, thinking about the old darling and the new darling being in the same bar at the same table.. talking to each other.. it feels weird.. and awkward. I'm not ready for that yet.

Anyway, everything is still under control. I should bloody well hope it remains this way.

Keep my fingers crossed.

LovelyCutie Posted on Fri 2004-10-01, 17:40:25

 

Ok... now... don't panic. Everything is under control. Just wait for the new love of my life to come back this weekend and see what happens. And take it from there. Don't panic. Really, thinking about the old darling and the new darling being in the same bar at the same table.. talking to each other.. it feels weird.. and awkward. I'm not ready for that yet.

Hi Elsie,

Had that happen to me in my previous marriage! Went to a bar with my mate, his wife and my wife. We went to get the drinks and told the girls to get some seats in the lounge. When we went to the lounge my wife was sitting next to my Mia Noi (but this was England)!!! The girl knew about the wife but the wife didn't know about the girl!! She was cool and stayed there and didn't make a fuss or even acknowledge me.

It was a bit scary at the time but something to laugh about after :o

Scary <deleted>. :o

I'm so not going to go to Phuket with both of them. :D

  • Author
Scary <deleted>. :o

I'm so not going to go to Phuket with both of them. :D

Yes good idea LC - three is a crowd - and you make four :D

Yes good idea LC - three is a crowd - and you make four  :o

Still only three, honey. If you agreed to be another secret lover of mine, then that'd make four. :D

Looks like the Darling is going to be in Tokyo longer than he'd expected. And the new love of my life has demanded he's going with me on Wednesday. Probably the booze talking. So, I'll let him sober up and ask him again. Did you receive a phone call from him, Torny? :D

  • Author
Yes good idea LC - three is a crowd - and you make four  :o

Still only three, honey. If you agreed to be another secret lover of mine, then that'd make four. :D

Looks like the Darling is going to be in Tokyo longer than he'd expected. And the new love of my life has demanded he's going with me on Wednesday. Probably the booze talking. So, I'll let him sober up and ask him again. Did you receive a phone call from him, Torny? :D

Yes he rang me LC.

So you are definately coming down on Wednesday?

Yes he rang me LC.

So you are definately coming down on Wednesday?

He was pissed. Barely remembered what he said to you. :o

I'm positive I'm flying to Phuket tomorrow. I've told him to make up his mind by 2pm today. I'll ring you once I know I'm going there by myself... or with him. :D

I can't say that this is my daily routine because of the altzheimers, however:

Woke up around sunrise (my house is built the wrong way around so the sun hits me directly in the face).

Made coffee (FG still in bed - obviously the sun doesn't bother her).

Coffee and cigarette on the stoop (no sun at the front yet).

Watched the remainder of the movie which I fell asleep through last night.

Logged onto TV and contemplated whether to read any of the <deleted> that was posted yesterday.

Decided against it and logged onto OFCS to see if anyone was talking sense there. There wasn't.

Back to the stoop and read a little awaiting the FG to come off duty.

FG off duty at 12 noon, grabbed a beer and logged back onto OFCS to discuss the alcoholic problem facing the paddy.

Had another beer.

Had another beer.

Logged off. It was then too late to return to the stoop as the sun was now at the front.

Went to the pub.

The remainder of the day involved making a hundredweight of chili con carne, falling asleep through another movie and then waking up and posting this load of <deleted> on here. Plus a couple more beers to help me re-sleep.

:o

Decided against it and logged onto OFCS to see if anyone was talking sense there. There wasn't.

As if there has ever been, Yorkie. :o

PS. At this time of the night and I'm still up! Packing! I'll look like <deleted> when I arrive in Phuket. :D

I am just loving my life in Nakhon, most days are like this:

I wake up around 6AM on Tuesdays and Fridays (I have early classes those days) but the rest of the week is whenever I wake up which is generally before 8AM, I shower, I get dressed. I am somewhat of a morning person so that suits me fine.

I drink a big class of orange juice.

Leave for work, careful not to let my cat Misha sprint for the wild open spaces outside.

The drive to the University is always great, I go by the ocean, then I see the mountains.

I arrive at my office in plenty of time to check emails.

The campus is lovely in the morning, I sometimes even take my roller blades on the pathway but generally I bike around to get to class. The campus is huge.

I teach one or two classes a day and some days I have rehearsals for the play I am directing.

I often go to the beach for lunch but I also like going in town to some of the coffee shops.

I go home in time to roller blade a bit in Tallad park before it gets dark.

I go out for supper, I am not fond of cooking (though I can make a salad, is making a salad called cooking? :o )

I hang out with friends, practice speaking Thai, correct papers on the beach.

Such a relaxed life style.

A great life! :D

(I guess not so tongue in cheek)

"Come to the edge, He said. They said, "We are afraid." "Come to the edge," He said. They came. He pushed them... and they flew."

Guillaume Apollinaire

I go out for supper, I am not fond of cooking (though I can make a salad, is making a salad called cooking? :o )

Ahhhhhhhh NO :D

I go out for supper, I am not fond of cooking (though I can make a salad, is making a  salad called cooking?  :o  )

Ahhhhhhhh NO :D

Errr.. Yes! At least, to me. :D

is making a  salad called cooking?  :o

I think "prepare" is the best word....

"last night I prepared a salad..."

"I think I will prepare myself a salad"

"I really enjoy preparing a salad for myself"

  • 2 weeks later...

Thai salad would involve cooking - I mean in Yam Talay, you'd cook the seafood, right? :o

Am in grey old london at the moment. The company I'm contracting at is moving offices - they've been at the 'old' building for over a centuary, so lots of bye, bye parties. :D

Thursday consisted of me getting up at 6am with a headache after getting in at 3am (had a software delivery that took 20 hours straight). Had words with the Mrs as she had promised to take her friends to China tows and thus I had to get up early or walk 10 miles to the train station in the rain. :D

Got to work at 9ish after wasting 2 hours freezing my butt off on either the platform waiting for the train, or in the carriage where the heater wasn't working. :D

Spend most of the day packing my desks (I had taken over 6 spare desks and had to now reliquish them in favor of a silly blue plastic tray from the 'office move' company). At lunch visited the pub for a warm up session for that day's leaving do's. At 2pm ripped apart my PC to get the hard drive out so I could recover the information before the 'moving comany' trashed them all (new office = new PC). Cracked open a second PC and hardwired the HDD so could transfer the data. My own PC had decided to fry its mainboard on the very day that I needed to move stuff off it. Ignored two CPU carcasses spewing cables laid open and still plugged in, abd went to the last leaving party bar one. Free beer and wine and a pop quiz. Our team came somewhere in the middle of the rankings - the other's cheated obviously.

6pm. Party moved to merge with the last moving party in a local South African theme pub (with Thai food - dunno the connection? - but they do do dried osterich aswell!). A few more bottles of red and headed for the bus stop to Victoria train station. Stopped for a McDonald's fillet 'cos I don't eat red meat (even if it is the slaughter house floor scrappings that is McDonalds 100% beef burgers!). Waited 4 minutes for the burgers to cook, only to have them given out to a new orderer. Made a drunken fuss and got 2 free ones - why do I wanmt 3 fillet burgers?

Missed train waiting for burgers. Got next train 30 minutes later - last one, affectionatly knows as the Pisshead Express. Ate all 3 burger waiting for the train to move, or the driver to decide to put the bloody heating on.

Got to home station and realised I didn't have my mobile with me. Found call box and called home. Now 1am, Dad is staying with us (he lives in Spain with Mum, but has a job over in the UK in an NHS hospital - he doesn't know what retired means, he's done it 3 times and still is working!). Anyway, he comes and gets me as Mrs has gone to sleep.

Friday, booked off from work. Go to Thai Embassy (London) to pick up some land forms. Go to Bank to draw money out and they say cheque has not cleared even though internet said it had. Ignored them and drew it out via ATM - it bloody well was in there - planks. Took Mrs to heathrow so she can pop over to LOS to sort out some land and family business. Kids in tears. Get home at 7pm and put kids to bed. Browse TV and play online poker 'til 4am. Go to bed - its cold tonight! :D

but they do do dried osterich aswell

Osterich Biltong eh.... they do that in my local "South African" pub, not bad actually.. :D

its cold tonight!

....and still is today .... !! :o

totster :D

Just came back from Ao Phrao, Ko Samet. Tad pricey but great service, beautiful beach, nice rooms.

To think it's only 2 1/2hrs away from Bangers - accessible every weekend! Beats Rhyl hands down :o

Happy happy...

what pisses me off is not being able to log on to O.F.C.S. and getting no help whatsoever from the buggers who messed with it!

:o

what pisses me off is not being able to log on to O.F.C.S. and getting no help whatsoever from the buggers who messed with it!

:o

this is from the log..it is OFCS by default

Welcome to the Old Farts Chat - powered by *chang*

huski has joined the chat.

Server has verified administrative privileges.

[huski] testing for jayenram

I can access the chat from this PC (Win XP), but can't from the other one (Win 98). While I'd never had problems with any of them before the upgrade.

I was running '98 when O.F.C.S. was degraded. No access. Now I'm running XP and still no access.

  • Author
what pisses me off is not being able to log on to O.F.C.S. and getting no help whatsoever from the buggers who messed with it!

:o

it seems like you went out for rainmen 2 months ago and you never came back :D

what pisses me off is not being able to log on to O.F.C.S. and getting no help whatsoever from the buggers who messed with it!

:o

it seems like you went out for rainmen 2 months ago and you never came back :D

We DO need Yorkie back in the chat! What on earth would OFCS have left if we didn't have another "OF" apart from dutch? :D

this is from the log..it is OFCS by default

Welcome to the Old Farts Chat - powered by *chang*

huski has joined the chat.

Server has verified administrative privileges.

[huski] testing for jayenram

Huski,

Sorry to be a pain in the arse but I don't understand the significance of this. :o

it seems like you went out for rainmen 2 months ago and you never came back :D

:o:D:D

Create an account or sign in to comment

Recently Browsing 0

  • No registered users viewing this page.

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.