Buddhist Approach To Alcohol Abuse?

[jaideeguy]

The 5th precept of Buddhism is ...................

"Buddhism emphasises wisdom. Taking intoxicant will descend and lose the seed of wisdom. Intoxicants, such as drugs, liquor, smoking, etc., are harmful to health. It seems that taking intoxicant is not hurting others. However, if we are drunk and lose our consciousness, we may easily commit evil deeds and hurt others. Therefore, one who breaks this precept will tend to break all other precepts along with it.

The fifth precept is based on respect for mental health. It guard against the loss of control of one’s mind."

Yet alcohol is abused not only in public, but I've witnessed it on many occasions at the local wat, with whiskey vendors set up outside the wat and men going into the wat with beers and whiskey bottles.

I have a personal problem with my Thai Buddhist wife who is in denial about her alcohol problem and have tried the 'western approach' with no success and am now wondering if I should seek out 'the Buddhist approach' [if there is any] ????

any links and/or contacts in the Chiang Mai area would be much appreciated

[Sheryl]

AA in Thailand has many all-Thai meetings which would naturally be reflective of Thai culture and beliefs. And then there is Wat Thamkrabrok (see thread in this sub-forum).

But neither or those resources, nor any other, are going to help as long as she is in denial and doesn't want help.

The sad but simple truth is that there is nothing you can do to change her and she will continue to drink until such a time as she is ready to face the problem.

There are however things you can do to help you deal with this. Contact Al-Anon (see pinned notice for link).

The fact that drinking is against Buddhist precepts isn't going to make a difference at this point. Very few Thais strictly observe the 5 precepts, just as only a minority seriously practice meditation. For most, Buddhism is something they inherited and a part of their culture but not seriously followed (or for that matter really understood). Just as only a minority of people in predominantly Christian countries have a real understanding of Christ's teachings or make a serious effort to follow them. Whatever the country or religion, tendency of human nature is to concentrate on outward observances/rites etc and skip the real substance, or leave it as something to do "later" when one is old.

You have my sympathy, being married to an alcoholic is very, very difficult. Do contact Al-Anon. And get some of their literature (you can order it online. You can't stop her from wasting her life, unfortunatelty, but you can ensure that you make the most of your own.

Good luck.

[garro]

I agree with what Sheryl has written. I abused alcohol for years and made the lives of those around me miserable. I couldn't stop for anybody else, and I resented those who tried to get in the way of my drinking.

I believe that there are times in the addicts life when they are more willing to get help than other times. When she is showing signs of remorse or is having a particularly bad hangover. She must want to stop and it doesn't really matter how willing you are for her to stop. All you can do is prepare the ground for when she is ready. Maybe Al-Anon will help. Things have to get so bad that the idea of drinking further is no longer an option for her. This can come before everything is lost for some people while others seem to need to lose everything.

I personally cured my addiction at Wat Thamkrabok which is an excellent detox center. I would recommend it to anyone.

It is hard living with a drunk but believe me when I tell you that being a drunk isn't much fun either.

[jaideeguy]

Thanks to both of you for your support. There is a lot of truth in what you both say.

#1, she is a binge drinker and only makes a fool of herself on occasion 3-4x a year, but too much for me.

#2, she is not ready to stop....she is Thai and it's sanook...drink till you puke, drop or get in an accident and who am I [stupid falang] to interfere with Thai culture [her attitude].

#3, You're right, I can't change that in her...so it's either divorce or accept. I'll try the latter and check out alanon on line to see what they have to say and hopefully can get involved w/o going to meetings as we live quite far out of town.

#4, you're both right...it ain't easy.

thanks again

JDG

[Sheryl]

I believe Al-Anon has some sort of online meeting arrangement for people who live far from an actual meeting spot, look into that ion their website and also call the Thai contact folk. And definitely order their literature and start reading and pondering it.

We're rooting for you.

[Neeranam]

เชียงใหม

โรงพยาบาลสวนปรุง, เชียงใหม่

แผนกผู้ป่วยนอก ติดต่อ สมศักดิ์ 086 9178131

Suan Prung Hospital, Chiang Mai

OPD contact Somsuk 086 917 8131

วันศุกร์ เวลา 1500น.

1500hrs. , Friday

Thai language

[jaideeguy]

The wife just became one of the many 'unreported traffic accidents' after attending a local party and luckily it was slow speed on dirt road.....bad thing that my daughter was on board the motorcycle and both have strawberries and bruises all over themselves.

She came in drunk last night and I just ignored her and did my thing [because you can't deal with a drunk!] then this morning she confessed the accident and her remorse. I kept my cool and treated their wounds and told her that she is still free to destroy herself, but not the children. Hopefully this will be a wake-up call and she will see the insanity she has inflicted.

As for me...the only one that I can control, I am currently active in the online alanon forum and have learned a lot already and gave my wife her freedom to drink when she wants.....but now have a condition that she not endanger our kids or she is out the door.

Neerman...what is the above english translation....is it Thai AA??

Sheryl and others, thanks for the alanon lead...it's helping