A 'virgin'

[OxfordWill]

From the way you wrote this it makes me think she thinks you are pretty stupid. Unfortunately, buying furniture for kids after 4 months is just another reason for her to think this. Thai chinese tend to take truth a little more seriously than thai-thai, so this lady confuses me, Im guessing she is used to lying her way through life. Also note how you had to really, really force her to speak the truth, she even agreed to visit a doctor before she was prepared to tell you the truth. This will be her habit for as long as you know her I would bet. Best of luck though..!

[intumult]

She lied, her family lied... From now on if you go on with this " thing" you will never be able to trust her or anybody in her family.

agreed

You have lost face already, because it is the farang who loses face. Her and her family will stick together, they donot have any other choice right now.

Not so sure I have lost dface in finding them wanting..... but we will agree to disagree on that

They have been found out and will never ever really tell. It is your fault, whatever they have to do to make it look that way, they will.

Maybe not now, there still is a chance that you..........

No chance now. She is off to BKK

Her parents didnot like her staying with you overnight?? Was that really true, or was it someone else, just another lie?

Was her after cunnilingus and seeing C-scar if I am honest.

Could be that she still has her ex on the side, but you are a better catch... So her parents played along.

As you know for virgins there is a higher sinsod demand......

No ex on the side. And now no sin sot

I think this whole affair " looking" at her, is a bit `strange` . This is not the behaviour of a grownup woman with responsible feelings.

This is not how a responsible mothers acts, by telling you that her own kids are NOT hers.

ahh, her kids. She did not want me to know so.

You will never be hers too. You will even be further down the scale, further down than her "OWN" kids.

She is a soap opera actress, and with her agenda to do so, and maybe the scriptwriter is after some goodies too ( think boyfriend).

Agreed

Run while you can, and donot be surprised that if you break up now, you will be asked for compensation.

I have run and fast.

She took the whole base away, from what maybe could have been a normal and healthy relationship, by behaving the way she did.

In fact the base has never been there , absolutely not from looking through her eyes, or listening to the things which came from her mouth.

DANM_ agreed too.

She desnot respect you, her parents donot either, maybe also even some of her friends, who may be in this too.

Was a neighbourly thjing also. Neighbours not happy she have Farang. I heard them some nights.

That will be your "enviroment" to live in. Can you do that without even blinking your eyes when something else comes up?? And it will happen, and I think you know that too.

As to my environment, I am already working on that too.

Good luck.

thx

[intumult]

From the way you wrote this it makes me think she thinks you are pretty stupid. Unfortunately, buying furniture for kids after 4 months is just another reason for her to think this. Thai chinese tend to take truth a little more seriously than thai-thai, so this lady confuses me, Im guessing she is used to lying her way through life. Also note how you had to really, really force her to speak the truth, she even agreed to visit a doctor before she was prepared to tell you the truth. This will be her habit for as long as you know her I would bet. Best of luck though..!

I agree. She was willing until I said I would pay for the Doctor.

[burman]

Doza..., you are a 'chakwow'

Do people actually speak like this and think they are clever?

This surely has to be a very good troll, no one could be this naive, could they?

Edited May 11, 2008 by burman

[intumult]

Keeping quiet about "other kids" is not just saved for Farangs. My wife was at a wedding recently two Thais no farangs involved, the bride had a child who was being taken care of by her Mother, the groom and his family has no knowledge of this child at all.

Thais are just a s happy doing this to each other as hapless farangs.

So I see, now

[intumult]

She lied, her family lied... From now on if you go on with this " thing" you will never be able to trust her or anybody in her family.

You have lost face already, because it is the farang who loses face. Her and her family will stick together, they donot have any other choice right now.

They have been found out and will never ever really tell. It is your fault, whatever they have to do to make it look that way, they will.

Maybe not now, there still is a chance that you..........

Her parents didnot like her staying with you overnight?? Was that really true, or was it someone else, just another lie?

I believed that to be another lie and it was confirmed today

Could be that she still has her ex on the side, but you are a better catch... So her parents played along.

As you know for virgins there is a higher sinsod demand......

Agreed virgins are ion greater demand but she now admits to not being one. And her price has dropped.

I think this whole affair " looking" at her, is a bit `strange` . This is not the behaviour of a grownup woman with responsible feelings.

This is not how a responsible mothers acts, by telling you that her own kids are NOT hers.

Dam_ Have to agree again

You will never be hers too. You will even be further down the scale, further down than her "OWN" kids.

She is a soap opera actress, and with her agenda to do so, and maybe the scriptwriter is after some goodies too ( think boyfriend).

not boyfriend, but her after what she can get

Run while you can, and donot be surprised that if you break up now, you will be asked for compensation.

She took the whole base away, from what maybe could have been a normal and healthy relationship, by behaving the way she did.

In fact the base has never been there , absolutely not from looking through her eyes, or listening to the things which came from her mouth.

sh*t agreed, again too

She desnot respect you, her parents donot either, maybe also even some of her friends, who may be in this too.

Ahhhh, the list of numbers I have since I met her has increased dramatically. I seriously believe they were friends of hers, now.

That will be your "enviroment" to live in. Can you do that without even blinking your eyes when something else comes up?? And it will happen, and I think you know that too.

I could not live in that environment. Is why she is history and I removed her numbers from my phone and computer.

Good luck.

Thx

[intumult]

Hmmm I think no shag before marriage bit was more saying I don't want to shag YOU. Anyways thank yourself lucky that you ended up getting off so lightly - could have been much worse.

Brit, I have to agree with that conclusion

[alexth]

How much did those 4 months cost you?

[intumult]

I'll try answer some of the replies.

None of these ladies work in bars!!! (maybe I'd be better off going to BG land and getting one).

When I read your posts I also believe they didn't work in bars.They must have owned a consortium of bars as they were the most professional liars I ever heard about.

We do have a few b/g here but they are rare.

On the other hand it seems to me that Thais do talk to each other and they work out what is best for them and how much they can get

[intumult]

How much did those 4 months cost you?

Se earlier post but less than 50k in reality as I am renting the house and th car is on finance.

I'll admit also that my Thai friend told# her that she woulkd not get sh*tloads of money.

She refused offers of cash too.

[intumult]

This thread and this one ( http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=173325 ) = Dump her.

You know it makes sense.

Already done

[burman]

I'll admit also that my Thai friend told# her that she woulkd not get sh*tloads of money.

Without wanting to offend your judgment further Intumult...

I have to say your Thai friend seems suspicious too. He/She would have known what was going on to a certain degree at least, because they have either seen it all before or just because they have experience with this kind of thing. Much the same way many a long term expat could probably have seen it.

The fact that your Thai friend made that comment to her shows that he/she knew what kind of girl she was doesn't it?

Make sure this 'Thai friend' has your best interests at heart. I myself am doubtful.

And don't be soured on Thai women, plenty of good ones out there.

Edited May 11, 2008 by burman

[intumult]

I would walk away, if she was keen on you for anything other than money she would have let you tap her and as a lot of the guys say, you don't wind in a big fish too quick, so just because she appears not to be interested in your cash now this does not mean she is not 100% focused on it. How could you ever trust a person like that ever again, it takes a special kind of person to lie like that.

The thought did occur to me too. But, as I am out of it now, I am happier and more content already.

[intumult]

had a good night out tonight. Free from the sh*t.

Roll on Tuesday when I can give out my number on cards

Maybe even get a dance or 3

Does not really take long to get the word out a man is free. I just have to accept the fact I am for free LOL.

Ahhh, the joys of life in LOS

Wet dreams to all the single people out there

[basjke]

I'll try answer some of the replies.

None of these ladies work in bars!!! (maybe I'd be better off going to BG land and getting one).

When I read your posts I also believe they didn't work in bars.They must have owned a consortium of bars as they were the most professional liars I ever heard about.

We do have a few b/g here but they are rare.

On the other hand it seems to me that Thais do talk to each other and they work out what is best for them and how much they can get

Sorry it slipped trough my mind where you picked her up,so maybe not much working b/g put probably a lot of retired pro's.Hard to believe that you catched the only four bad ones.

[TheDon]

2 of my wifes friends were virgins, both in there late 20's. Also it want a hock they were buy looking at them.

Ive never met a aussie virgin above 18

[Mossfinn]

Also it want a hock they were buy looking at them.

Is there an inter-galactic interpreter available?

Moss

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Also it want a hock they were buy looking at them.

Is there an inter-galactic interpreter available?

Moss

[Thaddeus]

Also it want a hock they were buy looking at them.

Is there an inter-galactic interpreter available?

Moss

Just ran it through the 'beer filter' mate.

"Also, it wasn't a shock that they were by looking at them"

[Briggsy]

Intumult

Please tally up how much this venture cost you and let us know.

฿฿฿฿฿฿฿฿฿฿฿฿฿฿฿

TIT and all that, it's the bottom line that counts.

Costs in hard cash?

beds 8,000

2 wardrobes 3500

mobile phone 3500

watch 500

clothes 2000

toys 1500

nights out xxxx

food larder (mother) 1750

Bedroom unit (mother) free with beds n wardrobes

can't recall anything else though there will be other stuff I cannot think of at moment.

Many thanks for your detailed response. Briggsy's evaluation is anything under 30,000 was a 'win'. So well done for resisting those 'calls for cash'. You should be proud of yourself. You can now see things were very different from the way she portrayed them. Every cloud has a silver lining.

P.S. I certainly wasn't always like this. I've been forced to think like this by weight of evidence.

[Gertrude]

Dump her my friend.

She's obviously a born lier.

OK everyone tells 'white' lies, but hers are 'black'.

She's a no good.

Go for a 'honest' who%e, at least you'll know where you are.

[ralph444]

honest whores arent ez to find! they always dancing(so they say) at the disco!

Edited May 12, 2008 by ralph444

[dave111223]

She stated time and again about no shaggy_shaggy ( a phrase she and a Thai friend of mine use).

That should have been a HUGE RED FLAG!

What Thai women uses the words "shaggy shaggy" except one which frequently hangs out with horny sexpats?

[jfchandler]

I'm obviously a newb here in Thailand...

I thought it was the lady's polite way of telling him she had nicely trimmed pubes.....

Memo to self: always check for those C-section scars!!!!!

She stated time and again about no shaggy_shaggy ( a phrase she and a Thai friend of mine use).

That should have been a HUGE RED FLAG!

What Thai women uses the words "shaggy shaggy" except one which frequently hangs out with horny sexpats?

[t.s]

Virgin for sure..... Virgin on the ridiculous.

--

Humour aside, the OP's actions and motives, while naive are not at fault - his g/f has asked for respect and he has given respect. And this is where lies are only part of the game.

Don't look for a virgin, look for someone who shares your values of decency and honesty.

somebody tells me she is a virgin and i run screaming. someone who has lived 25 + years of their life without sex is simply not a compatible partner for me. either that or they are full of sh*t

oh, and i see naivety in a 53 year old man as a fault in itself

Edited May 12, 2008 by t.s

[zaza]

Here in Bangkok, most of the hospitals perform these hymen-restoration surgery for women from different nationalities and for different reasons (even for western married women) ,it is a growing trend now. see this link:

Like a virgin...........Times Online

Many (working) young gals here do that (repair) frequently to raise their (opening) selling price to a falang (who might conisder it as a unique exciting topic for few falang-men to brag about).

The operation now is far more easy and the hymen tissue can be replaced with (artificial) tissue which looks like skin.

This operation costs in an international Hospital 300$ only , and it is 5k bhat only to the local (gals) ,so it is not a very expensive price and not even a burden for the aim of scamming a wealthy (......) man .

you can meet many virgin (mothers) here if you have declared your personal preference in this issue.

But to the OP ,feel happy to catch her lies in an early stage ; Lucky you ! some people got fooled and cheated till the point of no return , they would be caught in unbreakable circles and web of lies, that even make them stay and help those damned liars by denying their own suspicious and common senses,technically they help their abusers to abuse them more and consume their emotions and dignity ,this is a common mental-problem called Stockholm Syndrome (love-type), most of the abused spouses who suffer from living with liars (lovers) had been diagnosed with it in modern psychological research .

In return, those liars will go to extremes by showing more (love) and making up tragic or (child-abuse) history to domain the guilty-feelings in their own spouses if they would consider breaking up with them, while,at the same time they keep abusing them.All these practices are aiming to hide their lies each time a truth got (uncovered) .

[TAWP]

Agree that C section scars run vertical.

WHAT?!

They haven't been vertical for over 200 years in the west and any hospital here will do the same. Heck, I have never seen or heard or vertical cuts still being used. It's much worse for heeling and after-birth complications of the wound.

Ps. My wife had a normal, horisontal, one with our son. Ds.

[Doza]

Mate, you can call me a w*nker all you want but you are the one that looks like the idiot around here.

Telling us it takes time to get to know someone for a relationship who is not a prostitute (as if its the latest news).

Wanting to marry someone after 4 months.

Wanting to pay a dowry in installments so she'll stay around.

Wanting to marry a chick you can't communicate with.

Dribbling about going out with name cards and maybe getting a dance.

Please..........................................................................

...................

[intumult]

Intumult

Please tally up how much this venture cost you and let us know.

฿฿฿฿฿฿฿฿฿฿฿฿฿฿฿

TIT and all that, it's the bottom line that counts.

Costs in hard cash?

beds 8,000

2 wardrobes 3500

mobile phone 3500

watch 500

clothes 2000

toys 1500

nights out xxxx

food larder (mother) 1750

Bedroom unit (mother) free with beds n wardrobes

can't recall anything else though there will be other stuff I cannot think of at moment.

Many thanks for your detailed response. Briggsy's evaluation is anything under 30,000 was a 'win'. So well done for resisting those 'calls for cash'. You should be proud of yourself. You can now see things were very different from the way she portrayed them. Every cloud has a silver lining.

P.S. I certainly wasn't always like this. I've been forced to think like this by weight of evidence.

I learned a while ago after being stung by the first Thai con lady and reading of others misfortunes here also, to be wary with the finances. It is why I am renting a house and buying a car on finance.

In this case it isn't the financial cost - as it is very low thanks to lessons learned - but more the time and effort put into the relationship(s).

This one 4 months. The last one 6 months. And that is just time with them, not including the time spent getting to the point of starting the actual relationships. So looking at 1 year in total just for these two. Now looks like I will have to start looking again. Still if it to be that way, then fate had better give me a better and fairer shot in the future

We are all at risk of being 'done over' and, yes, I am glad I found out now.

It occurred to me this morning what I would have felt like on the wedding night, wedding paid for, monies coughed up etc., all horned up and raring to go to hammer at the virginal hole and discovering this 'virgin' had a C-scar.

[intumult]

Mate, you can call me a w*nker all you want but you are the one that looks like the idiot around here.

Telling us it takes time to get to know someone for a relationship who is not a prostitute (as if its the latest news).

Wanting to marry someone after 4 months.

Wanting to pay a dowry in installments so she'll stay around.

Wanting to marry a chick you can't communicate with.

Dribbling about going out with name cards and maybe getting a dance.

Please..........................................................................

...................

I did not plan on getting married afterr 4 months. Plans were being floated to marry - obviously before the information came to light.

The thought occurred to me that with the knowledge of her 'lies' and understanding of them, I could be in a stronger position with that knowledge in the future. So the idea of instalments or payments to the family month by month would also be a way of ensuring future honesty if I was going to go that route, but I had not made any concrete plans, but was floating ideas around myself.

As for you giving me sh*t for using a talking dictionary to communicate with for words such as C-scar, then I stand by what I called you.

I have never said we cannot communicate. You have.

Name cards for a dance? Get it right. They are cards with my name and phone number on and saves writing it on serviettes. Don't you get ladies handing you their numbers when you are out? I do and that is the reason for the cards.