BEST NEW YEAR FIREWORKS, no arguement

click here

Try this one for another view.

http://www.youtube.c...n&v=H5t8FqfruZEhttp://www.youtube.c...n&v=H5t8FqfruZE

Everything you need to know about Aussies.....

Our most charismatic former Prime Minister. A man who could get the vote on his personality, not policies.

Hawke was famous for downing a a yard of ale, (2.5 imperial pints or 1.4 litres), in just 11 seconds in 1953 while a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford University. It was considered a record at the time, and entered in the Guinness Book of Records.

Australians are the most balanced people in the world.

They have a chip on both ​ shoulders....

Australians are the most balanced people in the world.

They have a chip on both ​ shoulders....

Yeh, yeh, yeh, it's like you never left.

Welcome back Chuchok, Pete could do with some help with the Aussie bashing!

You'll find Bedlam's not the same these days.

not to put a too finer point on it OC, but we won the RWC.

OI,!!!!!!!! ... O.C.

Not Ockor basher, just a little occasional constructive criticism....

CONGRATS ALL YOU OCKORS OUT THERE.

ENJOY YA DAY.

Nice touch Pete, thanks. I'll see if I can find a snap of a Kiwi farmer 'riding' a sheep for Kiwi Day...

New Telephone Greeting:

Wouldn't it be amazing, if this caught on,

All over the country...? WORLD!

'GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO "CENTRELINK"

THE AUSTRALIAN SOCIAL SERVICES AND BENEFITS OFFICE'

"Press '1' if you speak English."

If not, ''Press ''2'' to disconnect until you can."

Have a nice day.

If you agree.....keep it going If not just delete

New Zealand needs this too, maybe moreso......

Wrong-way caravan busted on West Gate Bridge

AN ELDERLY man towed a caravan against on-coming traffic on a 12km drive through Melbourne's heart this morning.

Other motorists veered for their lives as the oblivious 80-year-old entered the Westgate Freeway from the wrong direction at Williamstown Rd in Spotswood.

He then headed straight into out-bound traffic, piloting his Mercedes-Benz east over the West Gate Bridge then into the Domain Tunnel.

Several cars were damaged by minor collisions.

Fellow motorists made dozens of emergency calls as the man made it to Toorak Rd's intersection with the Monash Freeway.

A truck driver then helped block traffic, enabling the man, from Chapple Vale in south-west Victoria, to made a U-turn.

Police then intercepted him after he got off the freeway and headed along Grange Rd, Toorak.

The driver was interviewed and later released, but is expected to be charged.

http://www.adelaiden...c-1226275117325

The country was in a terrible state,

As the Parliament sat for the Budget Debate.

It was quite a few minutes before Gillard spoke,

Then she said, 'Sex will cost you two bucks a poke,

Whether you’re short, skinny or thick.

A tax will be paid on the use of your prick'.

Penny Wong rose and said 'Julia look here,

Will this tax apply to those who are queer?'

Greenie Bob Brown looked rather glum,

'May I be exempt, I only like bum.'

Julia replied and sounded quite airy

'You'll pay double you dirty old fairy'

Up rose Tony Abbott, to tremendous applause

Grabbed Julie Bishop and ripped off her drawers

He straddled across her and screwed her at will

Then shouted to Gillard, 'Put that on the Bill'!

Wayne Swan shouted, 'I think I'll resign,

I haven't had sex for a very long time.

I dream every night of a big juicy crutch,

But two bucks a go .. that's too bloody much.'

The House was in uproar, the fighting went on,

Till Turnbull banged on the Bar with his dong,

'With a tax on a poke in the front and the back

All we can do is have a good whack.'

I disagree said Joyce with a leer,

And stuck his big prick into Bob Katter's ear.

The backbenchers came and the Cabinet went

Rudd took his out and found it was bent.

'Look here', he cried as it swung in the air,

'For those who are bent a discount is fair.'

So all checked their dicks, the Speaker was last,

And in the excitement, the dam_n Bill was passed.

So now in the beds of Australia at night,

There's many a fanny that's closed up real tight.

They're taxing our booze and taxing our smokes

And now the bastards are taxing our pokes.

If two bucks a head is the price we must pay

It’s now with ourselves we find we must play

To quench our frustrations we must have a wank

And for the state of our Country - we've Gillard to thank!

Just to prove that the vote is controlled by the brain-dead in any democracy.....

Soundman = you're incorrect in the last statement.

Surely no one does her hair every morning - and Tim Mathieson surely has too much sense to acknowledge that he has a hand in her colouring job.

Good stuff - thanks to Humph and Sounders for some great chuckling material. Bedders is back!

Just to prove that the vote is controlled by the brain-dead in any democracy.....

You nearly had me convinced Sounders until you slipped up and revealed Tony was an ex Journo.

Across the Tasman they are showing sense and good taste :

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/foodanddrinknews/9154576/Outcry-in-New-Zealand-over-Marmageddon-crisis-as-Marmite-stocks-run-out.html

Outcry in New Zealand over 'Marmageddon' crisis as Marmite stocks run out

Vegemite doesn't get a look in.

Across the Tasman they are showing sense and good taste :

http://www.telegraph...ks-run-out.html

Outcry in New Zealand over 'Marmageddon' crisis as Marmite stocks run out

Vegemite doesn't get a look in.

US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton almost caused a diplomatic incident on a 2010 visit to Australia when she said: "I've never understood why you would ruin a perfectly good slice of bread with Vegemite."

She oughta used "Kiwi Marmite".

New Premier for Qld folk today !

Ohhh what interesting times we live in.

Across the Tasman they are showing sense and good taste :

http://www.telegraph...ks-run-out.html

Outcry in New Zealand over 'Marmageddon' crisis as Marmite stocks run out

Vegemite doesn't get a look in.

US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton almost caused a diplomatic incident on a 2010 visit to Australia when she said: "I've never understood why you would ruin a perfectly good slice of bread with Vegemite."

She oughta used "Kiwi Marmite".

Yes, there's no comparison between the black tar that Sanatorium market, as compared to the UK's succulent brown savoury delicacy.

New Premier for Qld folk today !

Ohhh what interesting times we live in.

A good indicator for the next Federal election. The electorate has obviously had enough of the completely inept policies & governing by Gizzard et. al.

New Premier for Qld folk today !

Ohhh what interesting times we live in.

A good indicator for the next Federal election. The electorate has obviously had enough of the completely inept policies & governing by Gizzard et. al.

And the reason - according to Labour :

Labor factional heavyweight Bill Ludwig blamed the men of Queensland for Ms Bligh's loss and warned Ms Gillard would similarly struggle.

''The blokes here just don't like women, especially women in charge,'' Mr Ludwig said. ''The federal election is a long way off, it's different circumstances, but I don't think the blokes like Julia, either. The men of Queensland are just very negative towards women.''

Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/political-news/labors-wipeout-20120324-1vqxj.html#ixzz1q3jNU2Si

And it just keeps getting better.

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/national-affairs/elections/bob-katter-sets-sights-on-federal-poll-after-gratifying-result-in-queensland/story-fnbsqt8f-1226309260477

Bob Katter.

How soon they forgot the famed thief and liar Joh Bjelke Peterson.

How long will it be before new LNP premier is telling Queenslanders "Don't you worry about that"?

We all talk about Thai drivers, but this Ockor runs them close.

Mustn't miss the soaps....... lol...

Truckie drove watching 32cm TV

Australian police charged a truck driver after catching him driving with a large-screen TV attached to his dashboard. Police stopped a semi-trailer on the 880km Hume Highway between Sydney and Melbourne after reports of erratic driving and found a 32cm wide television screen bolted to the dashboard which obscured a significant section of the windscreen. (Canberra Times)

Come now all me hearties and we'll roam the mountains high,

Together we will plunder and together we will ride.

We'll scar over valleys and gallop for the plains,

And scorn to live in slavery, bound down by iron chains.

It's of a wild Colonial Boy, Jack Doolan was his name,

Of poor but honest parents, he was born in Castlemaine.

He was his father's only son, his mother's pride and joy,

And so dearly did his parents love the wild Colonial Boy.

When scarcely sixteen years of age he left his father's home,

And through Australia's sunny shores a bushranger he did roam.

He'd rob the largest squatters, their stock he would destroy,

a terror to Australia was the wild Colonial Boy.

In sixty-one this daring youth commenced his wild career,

With a heart that knew no danger, no stranger would did he fear.

He bailed up the Beechworth roll mail-coach, and robbed Judge MacEvoy,

Who trembled and gave up his gold to the wild Colonial Boy.

He bade the judge "Good morning", and told him to beware,

That he'd never rob a poor man who wafted on the square,

Three mounted troopers came in sight: Kelly, Davis and Fitzroy,

who thought that they would capture him, the wild Colonial Boy.

"Surrender now, Jack Doolan, for you see were three to one".

Surrender in the queens name you daring highwayman,"

Jack drew two pistols from his belt, and waved them proud and free

"I'll fight, but not surrender," cried the wild Colonial Boy.

He fired at Trooper Kelly and brought him to the ground,

And in return from Davis received a mortal wound.

All shattered through the jaws he lay still firing at Fitzroy,

And that's the way they captured him- the wild Colonial Boy.

Why were the majority of these bushrangers of Irish extraction (judging by their names)?

Those of English, Scottish and Welsh origins seem to have settled down and become the squatters, farmers, townies o the late nineteenth century, but the Irish are the drovers, shearers, bushrangers and so on.

Comments?

I did some research recently.....found out where a few of my great great great grandparents came from....even on which boat.

A couple of irish lads from belfast and on the other side...the one we dont talk about...the Poms that got shipped to Tasmania for stealing 12 pounds of butter.

Why were the majority of these bushrangers of Irish extraction (judging by their names)?

Those of English, Scottish and Welsh origins seem to have settled down and become the squatters, farmers, townies o the late nineteenth century, but the Irish are the drovers, shearers, bushrangers and so on.

Comments?

Note that most of the police they fought against were Irish also.

In those early days, the coppers in Oz weren't much better than the ne'er-do-wells - drunks, thieves and idlers many of them (remind you of any other current-day police force?).