Testing Your Thai Lady

[john1000]

i have only just joined thai visa as i was looking for farang women to be friends with.

after reading some of the messages on this thread, i, as an educated thai woman, i have to question why so many of you are involved with women you do not trust.

and if you are talking about security checks on them, how would you feel if she were to do the same to you?

im not provoking an argument, just asking the question here.

Who said it is a bad idea?

Men are inheritly unfaithful and if that is something that bothers you, try your new man out.

"Men are as faithful as their options."

True so true

[MrHammer]

Ok, I didnt read those 8 pages long, sorry!

My opinion:

A womans attraction to you, should in no way be based on your money. That means setting early boundaries such as who is paying for meals, drinks etc. If she cant pickup a tab on her own because she likes you, that gives me warning flag.

But I realise that many on here are 'old-school' and like to pay for their women, fair enough.

[wolfmanjack]

i have only just joined thai visa as i was looking for farang women to be friends with.

after reading some of the messages on this thread, i, as an educated thai woman, i have to question why so many of you are involved with women you do not trust.

and if you are talking about security checks on them, how would you feel if she were to do the same to you?

im not provoking an argument, just asking the question here.

Who said it is a bad idea?

Men are inheritly unfaithful and if that is something that bothers you, try your new man out.

"Men are as faithful as their options."

The percentage of women that cheat is just as high as men who cheat but the women get caught less.

"If you’re a female, like most other females, prior to cheating on your partner you always proclaimed yourself to be "not the type" who would ever cheat. However, also like most other females, after they have cheated, you're shocked and appalled by your behavior; but at the same time you can't stop cheating.Currently, women are initiating 70 - 75% of all divorces

Later, through my own research, I discovered that what I was experiencing was quite normal. In fact, women are the most likely to divorce in their late twenties and thirties after an average of 4 years of marriage. During this time, it's quite common for women to experience a pre-midlife crisis, which is similar to the male midlife crisis, only with an important difference - a difference that can actually make women more likely to cheat than men. "

[sbk]

What research is that Wolfmanjack? You are a researcher of some kind?

[BigSnake]

No need to test, common sense should be your guide, most if not all Thai women aren't scammer they are just looking for someone to take good care of them and their kids/extende d family. In other words a better way of life.

[wolfmanjack]

What research is that Wolfmanjack? You are a researcher of some kind?

Not me. If it would have been my own work i would not have used quotes. I just did a google search "women cheat" and it came up with tons of good info.

[imaneggspurt]

i have only just joined thai visa as i was looking for farang women to be friends with.

after reading some of the messages on this thread, i, as an educated thai woman, i have to question why so many of you are involved with women you do not trust.

and if you are talking about security checks on them, how would you feel if she were to do the same to you?

im not provoking an argument, just asking the question here.

LP you are absolutly correct and it seems this subject touches a lot that are in untrustworthy relationship, i see it a bit like " how do i tell if my dog will bite " ..its a stupid question and you have to ask it you already know the answer,.

[ajarnmark]

you shouldn't be overly paranoid, for one thing. but some signs are- poor family, speaks good english, happily takes money when offered (or even outright asks for it) and doesn't pay it back, drinks/smokes/gambles a lot, has a "brother" hanging around all the time... i am sure many of the men on here can contribute.

I never saw one (woman) here in 4 years, that did not ask for or expect money and I am NOT talking about women I found in bars & massage joints,etc. Most, if not all, of my Farang friends have had the same experience, whether married or single, young or old. Money is the operative element here in relationships. It goes with the territory. If you want to test it, just decline requests for money and see how long she stays around.

and you think you have seen everything here?

My ex-gf never asked money, in fact she shared in all expenses. She belongs to a decent family in BKK and works a very decent job (not a teller or something in sales)

My current gf never asked money even for once. When we go out, she always shares, belongs to a business family. She will graduate this year from a reputable university and probably we get married then.

Now should I say that Thai women dont ask money?

I wish I would be as ignorant and could make generalization as you.

[sbk]

What research is that Wolfmanjack? You are a researcher of some kind?

Not me. If it would have been my own work i would not have used quotes. I just did a google search "women cheat" and it came up with tons of good info.

Best to cite a source then as the post appears to be coming from you personally rather than citing someone else's work.

[adjan jb]

Open a bank account in her name, put $2000 or close in the bank, leave the country for 2 weeks, tell her she can use the money if she needs it, the first time i did it she spent the lot and asked for more,( finished straight away ) the second time ( different girl ) she spent 1500 baht on something for me, ,i married her

Isn't there a similar story in the Bible?

[ajarnmark]

Open a bank account in her name, put $2000 or close in the bank, leave the country for 2 weeks, tell her she can use the money if she needs it, the first time i did it she spent the lot and asked for more,( finished straight away ) the second time ( different girl ) she spent 1500 baht on something for me, ,i married her and seven years on a and a 5 year old daughter later we are still in love, shes my best mate and i wouldnt change her for anything,. luck ? maybe, but it worked for me,.good luck to you,.

I too have a wonderful Thai wife but of course I have to maintain her and her Mama.

From the time the cave man dragged the girl into his cave by her hair, those have been the rules. Read Jane Austen and that was what it was all about... a gal's family had to find her a man with money.

That's how it was with my parents and their generation and only in the latter half of the twentieth century with moves towards gender equality did things begin to change.

So if you want your Thai lady not to ask you for money then you must be a feminist and had better bugger back West.

My 'Thai girl' and I are very happy with the way things are though.

Andrew

PS You left her 2000 baht when you went abroad??!!! Kee nieow jing jing!!

Where does he say he left 2,000 baht?

[colino]

Most people seem to have forgotten to add ,

Just check how many phones she has,

one for family and friends and a 2nd one for work ,

normaly the cheap crappy phone is for working and to convince new boyfriends she needs a new reliable phone,

the other one is the latest model, (the exception to this rule is she will use this one when with the guy who brought it )

colino

[wolfmanjack]

What research is that Wolfmanjack? You are a researcher of some kind?

Not me. If it would have been my own work i would not have used quotes. I just did a google search "women cheat" and it came up with tons of good info.

Best to cite a source then as the post appears to be coming from you personally rather than citing someone else's work.

Silly me. I thought that the quotes showed that it was not my own work and quotes would not be needed if i was quoting myself. Since i was not writing a thesis or a book I did not feel it was necessary to include a bibliography. Here is the link that I took the quote from just to clear things up.

http://www.womensinfidelity.com/

Here is another on that backs the other one up.

"Women "lie, cheat and steal""

http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/new...archive=archive

[F1fanatic]

Open a bank account in her name, put $2000 or close in the bank, leave the country for 2 weeks, tell her she can use the money if she needs it, the first time i did it she spent the lot and asked for more,( finished straight away ) the second time ( different girl ) she spent 1500 baht on something for me, ,i married her and seven years on a and a 5 year old daughter later we are still in love, shes my best mate and i wouldnt change her for anything,. luck ? maybe, but it worked for me,.good luck to you,.

I too have a wonderful Thai wife but of course I have to maintain her and her Mama.

From the time the cave man dragged the girl into his cave by her hair, those have been the rules. Read Jane Austen and that was what it was all about... a gal's family had to find her a man with money.

That's how it was with my parents and their generation and only in the latter half of the twentieth century with moves towards gender equality did things begin to change.

So if you want your Thai lady not to ask you for money then you must be a feminist and had better bugger back West.

My 'Thai girl' and I are very happy with the way things are though.

Andrew

PS You left her 2000 baht when you went abroad??!!! Kee nieow jing jing!!

Where does he say he left 2,000 baht?

He's quite right though, if you want a woman who doesn't just want you for your money - you "better bugger back West"!

[SuratJohn]

I'm so glad that nobody in this forum ever cheated

But maybe some guys never learn and deserve it that way.

just my 2 satang

[ourmaninbangers]

He: 55 years of age, fat, balding, yellow/brown teeth and toe nails, solvent. She: 25 years of age, slim, attractive (relativley), insolvent - loves you anyhow!!

Wakey, wakey

exactly- they live in a dream

its almost funny- I canot balme the girls for making the male ego work for them

[ourmaninbangers]

you shouldn't be overly paranoid, for one thing. but some signs are- poor family, speaks good english, happily takes money when offered (or even outright asks for it) and doesn't pay it back, drinks/smokes/gambles a lot, has a "brother" hanging around all the time... i am sure many of the men on here can contribute.

I never saw one (woman) here in 4 years, that did not ask for or expect money and I am NOT talking about women I found in bars & massage joints,etc. Most, if not all, of my Farang friends have had the same experience, whether married or single, young or old. Money is the operative element here in relationships. It goes with the territory. If you want to test it, just decline requests for money and see how long she stays around.

and you think you have seen everything here?

My ex-gf never asked money, in fact she shared in all expenses. She belongs to a decent family in BKK and works a very decent job (not a teller or something in sales)

My current gf never asked money even for once. When we go out, she always shares, belongs to a business family. She will graduate this year from a reputable university and probably we get married then.

Now should I say that Thai women dont ask money?

I wish I would be as ignorant and could make generalization as you.

I am sorry

he is in the majority- I have no idea where you live, but it ain't here

or you have hardly dated any girls

28 years I ahve been here

my family before,

the vst majrity of the girls ask/want money

a reputable university... where, here? they do not exist here. A man in london told me recently that all degree's issued here are given extra scrutiny

drop the elitist hi-so talk and get real

I was told any degree handed out in thailand

[LadyPenelope]

i have only just joined thai visa as i was looking for farang women to be friends with.

after reading some of the messages on this thread, i, as an educated thai woman, i have to question why so many of you are involved with women you do not trust.

and if you are talking about security checks on them, how would you feel if she were to do the same to you?

im not provoking an argument, just asking the question here.

Who said it is a bad idea?

Men are inheritly unfaithful and if that is something that bothers you, try your new man out.

"Men are as faithful as their options."

The percentage of women that cheat is just as high as men who cheat but the women get caught less.

"If you’re a female, like most other females, prior to cheating on your partner you always proclaimed yourself to be "not the type" who would ever cheat. However, also like most other females, after they have cheated, you're shocked and appalled by your behavior; but at the same time you can't stop cheating.Currently, women are initiating 70 - 75% of all divorces

Later, through my own research, I discovered that what I was experiencing was quite normal. In fact, women are the most likely to divorce in their late twenties and thirties after an average of 4 years of marriage. During this time, it's quite common for women to experience a pre-midlife crisis, which is similar to the male midlife crisis, only with an important difference - a difference that can actually make women more likely to cheat than men. "

i am not sure your summary quite adds up to be honest. you say that 70-75% of divorces are initialised by the women. that may be the case, but that doesnt say that 70-75% are cheating. maybe a large proportion of that number are initiating the divorce because because THEY were cheated on! i am not married, but i can tell you that if my husband cheated on me, i would be wanting a divorce for sure.

and why do you think that women are MORE likely to cheat? what kind of research brought you to that conclusion?

i am not saying that women dont cheat. they do. (these men have to cheat with someone dont they?). but i cant agree with you when you say that women are more likely to cheat.

[Markaew]

i have only just joined thai visa as i was looking for farang women to be friends with.

after reading some of the messages on this thread, i, as an educated thai woman, i have to question why so many of you are involved with women you do not trust.

and if you are talking about security checks on them, how would you feel if she were to do the same to you?

im not provoking an argument, just asking the question here.

LP you are absolutly correct and it seems this subject touches a lot that are in untrustworthy relationship, i see it a bit like " how do i tell if my dog will bite " ..its a stupid question and you have to ask it you already know the answer,.

Yours is a pretty lucky scenario in my view. I just moved to Bangkok, landed a job, and married a Thai Lady that I was communicating with for 8 months. But now, I feel like I am sleeping with the enemy. I am losing money at a rapid rate even though I feel like I have plugged the holes of leaking money, then, she finds another to exploit. I have to hide my money so she doesn't know how much I have in cash. This is incredible that I have to watch everything so closely. She can lie a continuous string of lies to cover her actions all in the name saving face.

Is this typical? Also, I have heard since the house rental is in her name she can "fire" me and I am on the street with the assistance of a called policeman just to evacuate me.

[LadyPenelope]

you were 'communicating' with her for 8 months. leave your job and come to thailand to marry her? a girl you have been chatting to over the internet?

looks like you didnt have a chance. where did you meet her? thai friend finder or something like that?

i think some of you men should engage the big brain rather than the small one. it would save you a lot of heartache.

not all of us are the same. just like not all western women are whatever nasty names you choose to call them.

[SuratJohn]

But most of the time the small brain is bigger then their big one

If you know what I mean.

[LadyPenelope]

for many of you that doesnt sound too difficult.

if you know what i mean.

[SuratJohn]

for many of you that doesnt sound too difficult.

if you know what i mean.

[G54]

i have only just joined thai visa as i was looking for farang women to be friends with.

after reading some of the messages on this thread, i, as an educated thai woman, i have to question why so many of you are involved with women you do not trust.

and if you are talking about security checks on them, how would you feel if she were to do the same to you?

im not provoking an argument, just asking the question here.

Had to answer this one, though others have too.

Maybe many of us are too trusting to begin with. Many of us also tend to side with the 'underdog', it is in our nature and a 'poor but beautiful' Thai lady appeals to this sense in a lot of us.

Then the underdog bites us. Even so, being bitten once does not make you hate them all, so we wait a wee while and go back and try again. Then often we see the signs that we are about to be bitten again and we back off - usually.

Some of us believe we now know the signs after being bitten once already and are lulled into a sense of false security and are bitten again. Once bitten is a mistake, twice can be foolish, any more times is downright idiocy. Therefore we are now suspicious and start to look for the signs. Sick mothers. Buy me a house, a car, land, gold, this that and the other.

Seems that distrust is, in many cases, brought on by former relationships with Thai ladies and I have been there too and never been with a b/g as yet.

We are involved with them because we seek companionship and also some love and affection, yet we are now wary of their intentions. That makes us put checks in place. If they fail the tests then they have to go and we start over again and again because we live in hope. At least I do

As will be obvious from my posts of late, I feel I have found a dam_ good one but deep down I am waiting to be bitten again.

The things we do for love and some shaggy-shaggy

[LadyPenelope]

i am happy for you G54 and hope that you have finally met the right lady for you.

why is it that so many men allow themselves to be bitten so many times by thai ladies, yet one bite from a western lady will turn you against them all? i just dont understand why us thai girls are chased over and over again, by men who have been mixed up with the wrong ones. and they usually get mixed up with the same kind of girl.

why is that so? can anyone explain this to me as i am really confused.

[sbk]

i am not sure your summary quite adds up to be honest. you say that 70-75% of divorces are initialised by the women. that may be the case, but that doesnt say that 70-75% are cheating. maybe a large proportion of that number are initiating the divorce because because THEY were cheated on! i am not married, but i can tell you that if my husband cheated on me, i would be wanting a divorce for sure.

and why do you think that women are MORE likely to cheat? what kind of research brought you to that conclusion?

Its not his research Lady Penelope. Its the research of someone trying to sell a book that never made it into any kind of serious sociological research but rather pop psychology designed to, well, sell books.

and I note he failed to comment on this part of the survey reported in the Manchester paper:

A fifth of women with a long-term partner (19%) say they have cheated on him by having an affair, while 30% of all women have had an affair with a married man.

hmmmm......

[wensiensheng]

[quote name='LadyPenelope' post='2442886' date='2009-01-

Yours is a pretty lucky scenario in my view. I just moved to Bangkok, landed a job, and married a Thai Lady that I was communicating with for 8 months. But now, I feel like I am sleeping with the enemy. I am losing money at a rapid rate even though I feel like I have plugged the holes of leaking money, then, she finds another to exploit. I have to hide my money so she doesn't know how much I have in cash. This is incredible that I have to watch everything so closely. She can lie a continuous string of lies to cover her actions all in the name saving face.

Is this typical? Also, I have heard since the house rental is in her name she can "fire" me and I am on the street with the assistance of a called policeman just to evacuate me.

Get OUT of your relationship immediately. If you do not do something, it will end as soon as your wife has sucked you dry of money. Do NOT be misty eyed about marriage being forever, it isn't as many will tell. You've made a mistake that has been made before and just fix it quickly by leaving the house and occupant, while you still have some money left.

Start over when you feel better equiped to make a more rational choice of partner.

Just my opinion based on what you say in your post.

[Birdman]

i am happy for you G54 and hope that you have finally met the right lady for you.

why is it that so many men allow themselves to be bitten so many times by thai ladies, yet one bite from a western lady will turn you against them all? i just dont understand why us thai girls are chased over and over again, by men who have been mixed up with the wrong ones. and they usually get mixed up with the same kind of girl.

why is that so? can anyone explain this to me as i am really confused.

I will tell you why. Because Farang men can have all the beautiful 18+ years old girls here, even if you are 70+, they never can have in Farangland. This girls will never criticise the relationship or analysis it like Western women would do. They mostly will take care of older men like lovers, mothers, nurses..., if the older men just contribute one thing to her life: to pay what they want.

The whole issue is just a perfect illusion for Farang men, which is known and simultaneous accepted by them or not known and therefore ignorant experienced happily having that beautiful young lady on their side.

[colino]

pattaya daily news

If in doubt

Read this guys story

its just a classic

My heart does go out to these guys that fall for this ,

but there will be another one next week or even tomorrow

colino

[G54]

i am happy for you G54 and hope that you have finally met the right lady for you.

why is it that so many men allow themselves to be bitten so many times by thai ladies, yet one bite from a western lady will turn you against them all? i just dont understand why us thai girls are chased over and over again, by men who have been mixed up with the wrong ones. and they usually get mixed up with the same kind of girl.

why is that so? can anyone explain this to me as i am really confused.

I'm not sure being bitten by 1 Western lady puts us off all other Western ladies. If that was the case many of us would have stayed batchelors

We put it down to experience and try not to make the same mistakes again. Surely it is the same when we meet a Thai partner?

Don't a lot of men and women tend to fall for the same type again and again? Maybe it is genetics.

On the other hand, how do you really know she/he is the same as the last one until you have been with them for a time? And not all Thai ladies are bad, are they?