Now that the nonsense that was Euro 2008 is out the way, the build up to the more serious contest of the 2008-2009 Premier League is well under way.

All silly rumours and confirmed signings can be posted here:

First off, it is rumoured that Newcastle have signed a classy attacking right-sided Argentinian from the Spanish league.

It's just been confirmed Newcastle have in fact bought Carlos Hermanded Lopez, a Colombian drug dealer (with a forged Argentinian passport bearing the Argentinian name Jonas Gutierrez) who is wanted across South America by various police forces. It has been confirmed that he will be teaming up soon with Joey Barton.

It is rumoured that there will be a Sunderland player running around like a headless chicken on the Stadium of Light pitch next season with the words "I AM BENT" printed on the back of his shirt. If true, shocking behaviour ...but a sign of the times.

It is rumoured that there will be a Sunderland player running around like a headless chicken on the Stadium of Light pitch next season

Lets hope he doesnt bang into the other 10 players running around like headless chickens.

"I AM BENT"

Thats sweet, isnt that form of sex the way to create mackems.

Wev'e recently had one about Kieron Dyer joining Swindon Town.

Classic.

This one was confirmed on ABC Tv site an hour or so ago.

Harry Kewell has signed for the Turkish club Galatasaray.

I hope he likes kebabs........

This one was confirmed on ABC Tv site an hour or so ago.

Harry Kewell has signed for the Turkish club Galatasaray.

I hope he likes kebabs........

& sheeps blood on the forehead

Andy Cole joining the Colin Calderwood revolution !!!

This one was confirmed on ABC Tv site an hour or so ago.

Harry Kewell has signed for the Turkish club Galatasaray.

I hope he likes kebabs........

Bad move in my opinion!1

Aussie winger Kewell 'joins Galatasaray'

Updated: July 4, 2008, 9:03 AM UK

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Australia international Harry Kewell has signed a three-year contract with Turkish champions Galatasaray, the club have claimed.

However, there remains some confusion over the conclusion of the deal as Kewell's agent Bernie Mandic has said the announcement is premature.

The 29-year-old turned down a contract offer with Liverpool in May and entered the current transfer window as a free agent, with many clubs across Europe chasing his services.

Kewell was linked with Portsmouth, Fulham, Celtic and Roma but Galatasaray have announced his signing on their website.

Mandic, though, insists that nothing has been finalised.

'We have not finalised a deal for Harry and it's down to two possibilities,' he told Australian FourFourTwo.

'People will be notified if and when Harry decides on one of the options which may be around noon on Saturday European time.

'We will not make any other comments until then.'

This one was confirmed on ABC Tv site an hour or so ago.

Harry Kewell has signed for the Turkish club Galatasaray.

I hope he likes kebabs........

& sheeps blood on the forehead

Andy Cole joining the Colin Calderwood revolution !!!

Now confirmed

The MancheterEvening News seems to be pretty sure that Fergies 2.I.C., Carlos Queiroz , is off to manage Portugal's national team.

Also suggesting that Mikel Silvestre may be playing for the "Hammers" next season.

http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/sport/football/

.

This is one for the "Silly" side of the thread :-

Van Nistelrooy to Tottenham.

Stranger things have happened....

'

....and today's Guardian reports :-

"Peter Crouch looks set for a return to his former club Portsmouth after Liverpool gave the south coast club permission to open transfer talks with the striker."

The Euros were great. Some fantastic matches. Not sure about the "nonsense" to which you are referring.

There's some website with a lot of nonsense rumors although a few end up being true, footballrumours dot co dot uk or something link that.

The MancheterEvening News seems to be pretty sure that Fergies 2.I.C., Carlos Queiroz , is off to manage Portugal's national team.

Also suggesting that Mikel Silvestre may be playing for the "Hammers" next season.

http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/sport/football/

.

What about " Martinez " (Swansea Manager)......lined up to be Fergie's No2 when Queeroz jumps ship

http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,12874_3831820,00.html

Black Cats bid for quartet

Keane targets four Tottenham players

In their apparent failure to sign Spurs striker Darren Bent Sunderland have reapproached Tottenham with offers for FOUR of their players, Sky Sports News understands.

Steed Molly Malbranque, Pascal Chumbawana Chimbonda, Younes Agadoo-do-do Kaboul and Teemu Tiramisu Tainio are the men reportedly wanted by Black Cats boss Roy Keane.

All four of the players regularly went out drinking with Juande Ramos at The White Hart Lane public house, with Malbranque and Chimbonda particularly prominent figures.

However, Ramos has been busy rebuilding his house since the end of last season and could be ready to let his drinking buddies leave.

The Black Cats, who have so far done sod all in the transfer window, have yet to comment on the reports. A spokesman for the club is reported to have said, "...................................................! ......................................?"

However, Keane did reveal earlier on Thursday that he felt this time next week there would be 'plenty of new faces' in his Panini football sticker album.

There are rumors that Don Rev is coming back to Leeds and Leo Ferd will bring out the orangers at half time for the boys

MOT

There are rumours that Martin Peters is now playing football for a vets football team in Bangkok.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Peters

Rumours that fullps agent has cocked up the transfer to stoke city.Apparently fullop is on 11k at sunderland and stoke have offered 18k and a first team spot.The agent is trying for 25k so bye bye greedy mother.Keane has stated that this hold up is all about money and the keeper has been banging on his door for forst team footi.if this is true then what a disgrace.

Rumours that fullps agent has cocked up the transfer to stoke city.Apparently fullop is on 11k at sunderland and stoke have offered 18k and a first team spot.The agent is trying for 25k so bye bye greedy mother.Keane has stated that this hold up is all about money and the keeper has been banging on his door for forst team footi.if this is true then what a disgrace.

Agreed. Not a bad keeper and I think Keane would be happy to hang onto him as a second choice keeper, but what else does Fulop want??? An increased salary and a first team place??? Oh... that's what Stoke offered him.

Seems like Stoke are completing a deal for Sorenson now. Perhaps higher wages but less money overall as there will be no transfer fee.

There are rumours that Martin Peters is now playing football for a vets football team in Bangkok.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Peters

sorenson should be an ok gk and twofingers up for fullop.I was over the moon when stoke got promoted but after listening to all the bs from the premiership i wish we were in the chamionship league now.seems to me that players in the top flight think they are all the best and want crazy money.

There are rumours that Martin Peters is now playing football for a vets football team in Bangkok.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Peters

I got the email You've certainly had a long distinguished career to-date

Roy keane has said that stoke city are a disgrace the way they have handled fullop.This is the same man that critisised fullop for asking for too much money.He stated that fullop only asked for a little bit more and stoke got rid of him.Well done to stoke for sending the greedy little scrote back and mr keane preach what you pracatice and stop talking crap.Just because you have already signed a goalkeeper as cover and you didnt bring him back,as you stated that fullop had 24 hours to agree terms,you have a big egg on your face so live with it nobhead.

Also keanie you have opened a big bag of worms now and if i was a sunderland fan,no way would i go to watch them at the brit,very bad vibes coming out at the moment.

There are rumours that Martin Peters is now playing football for a vets football team in Bangkok.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Peters

I got the email You've certainly had a long distinguished career to-date

Looks good for his age too.

There are rumours that Martin Peters is now playing football for a vets football team in Bangkok.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Peters

I got the email You've certainly had a long distinguished career to-date

Looks good for his age too.

Sunderland has too much time on his hands.

There are rumours that Martin Peters is now playing football for a vets football team in Bangkok.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Peters

I got the email You've certainly had a long distinguished career to-date

Looks good for his age too.

Have you seen him JS after a night on the Strongbow ?

There are rumours that Martin Peters is now playing football for a vets football team in Bangkok.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Peters

I got the email You've certainly had a long distinguished career to-date

Looks good for his age too.

Have you seen him JS after a night on the Strongbow ?

I heard it can be pretty messy.