You are a non-smoker, but you carry three packs of cigarettes and 3, one hunderds baht notes in your car, just in case the cop is a non-smoker.

thaivisa.com is your only news source.

You love Thai and dislike all non Thai people (Joking)

When your team scores, you yell out "oh-ho!"

-You can use the loo at service stations without getting completely naked or falling down the hole.

-You ignore all other expats and tourists, actively avoiding eye contact.

-You eat deep fried bread and condesed milk for breakfast, while waiting for the Kow Tom (sai kai duay) to cool.

-You think its a great idea to move as near as possible to the local airport.

-You think men with down-syndrome whacking people and dripping hot wax on their heads is funny.

-You actually understand the gameshows on TV.

-You watch seventeen VCDs of a Thai soap back to back.

- You know all the words to everything Pee Bird has ever sung.

-You think Tata Young is good.

-You start buying skin whitening cream.

you tend to add spice & chilli to all food

when "getting away with murder" is not just a saying

....having, somtam poo (phet maak), sticky rice and barbequed chicken for breakfast (love it)....

....having, somtam poo (phet maak), sticky rice and barbequed chicken for breakfast (love it)....

you huddle round a plate of raw papaya, put your feet up on the stool, with your toes wrapped around the rim and a bog roll ready to wipe your mouth, with lemon juice dripping from a rancid black crab, saying.....Arroy Mahk Mahk! Lam Dehy Dehy! Seb Lai Lai!

hot chilli becomes your new pepper

Arrive back at Heathrow, jump into a cab and say "Taxi-meter..."

Footprints on your toilet seat.

You got to the cinema and are half-way out of your seat before you realize it's just the "switch off your phone" message.

having a few drinks at a nice bar full of nice girls but all your interested in is watcing a few thai dogs playing across the road .

cheers

- You import your breadmaker, blender and all the modern appliances and then find the best way to make Thai food with them.

- You hear the news of the financial crisis and think its nothing to do with you anymore

You feel the latest PM is a great guy that comes up with simple solutions for complicated problems.

And also can become your best friend.

Time to go home!

-You can use the loo at service stations without getting completely naked or falling down the hole.

quote]

Hahahaha.

Did that and fell down the hole, had my pants nicely tucked around my knees and my back head was bracing to the wall, of course one foot slipped the wet floor tiles and down I went into my own disposed crap.

120 kg farang spatting around in his own crap, my wife was laughing all the way to Prakonchai. I just felt shit!

When you walk into office buildings or get tickets at the movie theatre, bts etc, they automatically speak to you in Thai.

Must have the look.

or

You take every flyer handed out to you on the street, and take it home and throw it in some drawer.

or

You don't hold doors open for people anymore or rush onto the lift before everyone is off.

Saw this nthe other day, and I defintelt think you have been in Thailand too long when...

...you buy some nam som and accidentally drop money onto the road. You pick up the money and do a Wai for dropping the money....

Bloody hel_l, saw a farang do that. Still freaks me out.

And you have been in Thailand too long ,if you don't pick it up ,as it may be Unlucky !

You have been in Thailand too long when you see a snake , kill it

and eat it !

You have been in Thailand too long when you sh1t red and green chillies.

When eating a pound of meat at one of those Korean BBQ joints and later being bathed by two nimble 19 year olds is a "healthy" night out (because you tend to drink beer instead of liquor on those nights).

When your Thai wifes family start sending you money every month!!

When you look six ways for motorcyclists before walking into another aisle at Tesco's.

When you only enjoy snacks with more than four legs on.

When you think Thai politics are perfectly normal

when you drive on the wrong side of the road because the u-turn is a little too far..

when you dont hear the screaming music everywhere ...

when you dont hear the dogs barking anymore ...

when the village headman at his microphone at 6.30am is just plain normal ..

when police trying to stop you on the road is not a dangerous hazard ..

when you start going to too many funerals ......

when you are not irritated at the repeated deep thoughts such as :

mai pen rai

Arai ko dai

jai yen yen

that definitely contribute to thailand being such a wonderful world.

...when you think TOT is a perfectly decent ISP

when you have tried all favors of instant noodle MAMA

when you stop wearing YELLOW and RED.

When you use your hands to help explain/express yourself in a conversation all the time even to farangs!

When hanging of the back of a motorbike taxi in total pieces from the night before is something you consider normal.

When you don't even bother asking your girlfriends opinion any more as you know the answer will be, up to you.

You start making wai,at every temple you see

when u get used to TUK TUK