I Just Don't Understand Thai Women

[poshthai]

Good post,direct and to the point without critisising the guy.

[BigSnake]

I met a G-Club girl 10 months ago and have since fallen in love with her, going back as often as 5 times over the last 10 months just to see her and spend time with her. When we're together we behave exactly like a normal couple would - holding hands, hugging, plenty of kissing and even the occasional sex, but whenever I brought up the topic of being together "officially" she would have (in my opinion) a ton of excuses, from not being able to maintain a relationship based on trust because of where she works (in a G-Club) to not deserving of me (I'm a Senior Manager earning considerable wages in The World). That apparantly has never stopped her before - she also met her last boyfriend in the club where she works and maintained a relationship for about a year. She may work in the nght scene but has values and principles, treasures her body and is insightful and mature. I find myself thinking about her all the time (even after so long) and she has only bothered to contact me once every few days. She's done plenty of sweet things for me and when we're together it feels like bliss but she just wouldn't consider the idea of being together. I even sugegsted before my last visit to her that I'd be happy if she would just recognise me as a boyfriend even if it's only for a few days, but was greeted with a cold "This isn't a game. We're not in the movies." Lest any of you start generalising or stereotyping G-Club girls, let me come out and say now that she's thinking of quitting all the time and even bought a restaurant recently with the aim of getting out. She keeps her feelings to herself most of the time, doesn't splash out sweet nothings like your regular gogo girl and would seldom even acknowledge that she misses me (if she does at all). She's extremely shy about verbal declarations which I find strange. Do Thai girls all behave like that?

Am I the childish one? Should I move on? Or is she worth the pursuit?

"Just don't understand Thai Women" Hello there how are you, WELCOME to the Club.

[mikehunt]

Or in short: would you ever date a "g club girl" in your country...?

The best looking girl at my school who was 1 year younger then myself moved to London at 16 to become a dancer, she achieved this but by the age of 23 was working in West Londons lap dancing clubs, a very clued up, funny, intelligent, unbelievably sexy girl.

Would i date/marry this girl, you can be dam_n sure i would, apart from her job this girl is 100% perfect.

[zorro1]

Justin,

Man, I know love is blind, and the last thing you want to hear is a comment like mine, but let me tell you very bluntly: you are most probably very lucky that she refuses you as her boyfriend.

I may seem to be generalizing, but experience taught me that the so called "gems" in this business simply do not exist,

I don't know you, but apparently you don't know much about Thailand. I say this without arrogance, just would like you to be careful and most important not to lose your proper judgment and common sense because of a charming smile:

- I might not know Thailand very well either, but a "gentlemen's club" (or whatever), where so called ladies are paid to "entertain" their male (!) customers and where you CANNOT buy them out for sex – that my friend, I do not think it exists in the Land of Smiles....

- You say there is nobody paying for her. Sorry, how the h*ll would you find out about that? It is not uncommon that Thai girls "in need" are sponsored by a couple of men at the same time. Of course non of them is aware of any of the others.

- You say you are a senior manager. Thus, I assume you have a certain education and a minimum of intelligence that brought you into this position. Do you have the SLIGHTEST idea how different the two of you (probably) are in terms of social background, education, experience in life, values, and expectations in life? Or in short: would you ever date a "g club girl" in your country...?

Dude, once more, I don't know you, but there is a reason why someone said ANOTHER "my go go girl is different thread". Trust me, your story is very, very common, and even though I don't know you, you for sure don't deserve to run into your misery and ruin your life.

Take good care of yourself and best of luck.

very very good logic here and IMHO true

Edited August 26, 2008 by zorro1

[issanpaul]

After reading that dummies guide i cant beleive why anybody would pay 20k up for a membership and upto 500 baht for a bottle of beer

[koheesti]

(I'm a Senior Manager earning considerable wages in The World).

Troll or not, Thailand repeatedly shows that farang men with a lot of many have little or no brains when it comes to Thai women. Pathetic.

[RakJungTorlae]

Thank you for all your replies. I'm sorry if this has been posted in the wrong place because I'm still very, very new here. Moderators: Do feel free to move this where you deem fit and sorry for the inconveniences.

To clarify a couple of points:

- A G-Club girl is NOT an agogo girl. They do not offer sexual services and the scope of their work is limited to taking care of male customers who walk through their doors and make them feel important / welcome.

- I have never sent her any money, and she has never requested for any to be sent to her.

- I'm inclined to think that she doesn't have anyone sending her money on a regular basis because she has been extremely honest with me about her financial situation and even tells me how much she earns (40,000 in an average month; 45,000 in good months. That's a lot of money in their terms). You can say she's fairly self-sufficient. I have spoken to her close friends and sister on separate occasions and am fairly convinced that she is both unattached and unsponsored.

- What I truly don't understand is how she can supposedly be so smitten over me when I'm over to visit, but yet so shy on verbal declarations of love. If she had wanted to cheat on my money, it actually makes sense to call me tirak unreservedly, no? And it does make sense to accept me as a boyfriend, knowing that I only come over once every 2 months so lies and deceit will be extremely easy to cover up, while at the same time guaranteeing my attention and love. That's why my thread title is "I don't understand Thai women", because first and foremost, she a Thai female. I hope we don't judge her based on where she works, because while her job involves entertaining men, she doesn't sleep around.

(text referring to intimate details about third party removed - MiG16 as a MOD)

Thank you all again for your extremely constructive comments. I only ask that you judge the situation based on her as a Thai female and not of where she works.

I get it now.. finaly..so you are getting rejected by the chick who takes care of the door. Hmmmm…

[RakJungTorlae]

Try poetry..

P.S don’t add G-girl in it..

[RakJungTorlae]

Or in short: would you ever date a "g club girl" in your country...?

The best looking girl at my school who was 1 year younger then myself moved to London at 16 to become a dancer, she achieved this but by the age of 23 was working in West Londons lap dancing clubs, a very clued up, funny, intelligent, unbelievably sexy girl.

Would i date/marry this girl, you can be dam_n sure i would, apart from her job this girl is 100% perfect.

Ah now I know where you got your avatar from.. Perfection she is!!!

[cobra]

It all started with Hefner's Playboy Clubs, which were referred to as a Gentlemen's Club

Not a brothel nor pick-up venue, an upscale club, with attractive and intelligent women to entertain and converse with membered patrons while they relaxed, talked and of course drank.

The fact they all were pin-up material didn't hurt either,

[sibeymai]

didn't hurt the magazine sales either, given the off chance that your favourite hostess might make an appearance.

[0Mix1up]

the way it reads to me

you know to little then you know much more. a story?

[DB84]

1. I'm inclined to think that she doesn't have anyone sending her money on a regular basis because she has been extremely honest with me about her financial situation and even tells me how much she earns (40,000 in an average month; 45,000 in good months. That's a lot of money in their terms). You can say she's fairly self-sufficient. I have spoken to her close friends and sister on separate occasions and am fairly convinced that she is both unattached and unsponsored.

2. What I truly don't understand is how she can supposedly be so smitten over me when I'm over to visit, but yet so shy on verbal declarations of love. If she had wanted to cheat on my money, it actually makes sense to call me tirak unreservedly, no? And it does make sense to accept me as a boyfriend, knowing that I only come over once every 2 months so lies and deceit will be extremely easy to cover up, while at the same time guaranteeing my attention and love. That's why my thread title is "I don't understand Thai women", because first and foremost, she a Thai female. I hope we don't judge her based on where she works, because while her job involves entertaining men, she doesn't sleep around.

1. I would be reluctant to take anything she or her friends say regarding her finances as being true.

2. She is working in one of these "Gentleman's Clubs", so you can be sure she's probably been around the block and has attained a high level of street smarts. My guess is that she is one of these longterm deals, where she is going to pull the rug from under you when she gets the big score e.g. house or car. She works in a Gentleman's Club, where people who need to feel important & have more money than common sense come. They know how 90% of these specimens think and act and will take advantage of that - rich people sometimes tend to use money as a solution to their problems. Like she is doing to you now, she's is making you feel like you are not important and it can't be long before you start throwing cash and expensive gifts her way.

The "smartest" of them build their own character up, make you trust, love & most importantly want them and then milk you when the time is right.

This is all speculation but above could be highly likely.

Anyways, good luck with it.

[Razzler1973]

What you are describing there is the 'long game' in conning parlance.

Seems like a nice girl to be so up front about things and effectively 'warn you off'. As someone said above, not uncommon, maybe you cant understand her rejection of you as a 'proper' partner, she's doesnt want it, if I was back home I wouldnt keep pursuing that and you probably wouldnt either. Sounds like she doesnt want to ruin whatever good thing she has, that means better than what is on the table with you.

Move on, mate

[Heng]

To clarify a couple of points:

- A G-Club girl is NOT an agogo girl. They do not offer sexual services and the scope of their work is limited to taking care of male customers who walk through their doors and make them feel important / welcome.

Um, you're both right and not quite right there, Justin. True a gent's club gal isn't a gogo gal that you can 'off' at the end of the evening. But it is pay for play, but merely on a medium/long term horizon. These gals do less volume -and she doesn't sleep with most of her customers... in many cases not even 90% of them... -but there most definitely IS volume. And that's only the main issue if your major hangup is the sexual issue. At any given time, her job description is to maintain a faux relationship with on avg. 5-6 guys outside of work (shopping/dinner/drinks/"dating"). So there will often be guys calling her and she'll often not be available to hang out with you. And that's on top of a client list of say 50-100+ guys who regularly stop by the club just so she can be nice to them for a drink or two before wandering off.

Gogo bars generally cater to the western mindset and "simulates" an environment where guys can "pick up" girls. Gent's clubs generally cater to to the eastern mindset of "simulating" a relationship. That's not to say that there aren't guys from the east and west that enjoy both types of entertainment. It's important to remember that it IS just entertainment though. If you can't accept that, you're going to have to accept that you'll probably be spending a lot of time in the future rationalizing (both to yourself and others) how her history "isn't important," how ------ isn't prostitution, etc.

If you like gent's clubs, there's the one that starts with C..., located in the massage parlour called E... on Ratchadaphisek. Decent quality, nice gals for the g-club experience. And at the end of the evening, you go downstairs and have yourself another gal right out of the fish bowl to remind yourself that the "night" world and the "day" world are like oil and water, they don't really mix well.

[mmushr00m]

Justin Teo, you're not Sebs Teo brother are you????

Mate, maybe she doesnt like you? After all her job is to make men feel that she is interested in them, the witty conversations, their jobs etc.

And she cannot say that she doesnt like you as you might complain to management and cost her her job.

Its nice to have someone pretty pay attention to you isnt it? to hang on your every word, to laugh at your jokes.

Wandered into a hostess bar in Tokyo once, actually a GIANT Japanese Yakuza type dragged me in. I couldnt speak a word of japanese and she couldnt speak english and she still laughed and giggled and everything I said.

I think she liked me........Im da man hahahaha

[captbob]

The new( since 30 years ) name for farang in thailand is ATM and if you whant a goog ladys 99% shure you will not find in a bar ,club ,or pataya ,place lake that ,go to the contry side ,university hight school or werre they are educated and inteligent , very simple wen they are from good family you will not bring her to bed before 4 or 5 or 6 month (go to hore house during this time ))then she is good to maried, one other think always take a girl from the same social statue that mean if she are poor you will pay for the family all your life if she are rich they will laugft about you becose they got more money then a farang so meedle class always ...................................................................

and learn to speak THAI you will anderstand... this the only way the only one .

For my self 99%,, you sleep with them you pay them and send them home as fat as posible becose troble will come the third day i promess . they born ball breker....all of them they dont deserve to have a good farang men its women ATN game this is my point of view ...and you must be macho a bit whith theme if not you loooooose. the game ...dont forget you got the cash you are the boss....Bob 20 some years in south asia.

[voracious]

imho...

It's good to listen to the little voice that warns you off. It's really good to listen when the little voice is hers.

She's trying to tell you something. It's up to you if you want to listen or not.

[imaneggspurt]

These guys are on a self destruct either financially or emotionally,sometimes both,. i have a friend that is seeing a girl that is " a receptionist " in a korean gentlemans club,. ,he has asked me what i think and i have told him, he dosent give her money ( not much but does pay for food etc ),. she has a new bike, a new phone and always has money, go figure, but yesterday he brought her to my house and she borowed the pc and was telling a guy in korea she loves him,. so,.without telling him outright "shes a whore " what do i do ?,..you will never know the backround of these types,.we all know what they are good for, and a wife isnt one of those things in my opinion,.

[OlRedEyes]

Seems to be a proliferation of these troll posts lately. Is it the moon, or is someone bored?

not deserving of me (I'm a Senior Manager earning considerable wages in The World)

The World seems to be very short on manpower these days by the looks of it.

Edited September 14, 2008 by OlRedEyes

[robee]

I met a G-Club girl 10 months ago and have since fallen in love with her, going back as often as 5 times over the last 10 months just to see her and spend time with her. When we're together we behave exactly like a normal couple would - holding hands, hugging, plenty of kissing and even the occasional sex, but whenever I brought up the topic of being together "officially" she would have (in my opinion) a ton of excuses, from not being able to maintain a relationship based on trust because of where she works (in a G-Club) to not deserving of me (I'm a Senior Manager earning considerable wages in The World). That apparantly has never stopped her before - she also met her last boyfriend in the club where she works and maintained a relationship for about a year. She may work in the nght scene but has values and principles, treasures her body and is insightful and mature. I find myself thinking about her all the time (even after so long) and she has only bothered to contact me once every few days. She's done plenty of sweet things for me and when we're together it feels like bliss but she just wouldn't consider the idea of being together. I even sugegsted before my last visit to her that I'd be happy if she would just recognise me as a boyfriend even if it's only for a few days, but was greeted with a cold "This isn't a game. We're not in the movies." Lest any of you start generalising or stereotyping G-Club girls, let me come out and say now that she's thinking of quitting all the time and even bought a restaurant recently with the aim of getting out. She keeps her feelings to herself most of the time, doesn't splash out sweet nothings like your regular gogo girl and would seldom even acknowledge that she misses me (if she does at all). She's extremely shy about verbal declarations which I find strange. Do Thai girls all behave like that?

Am I the childish one? Should I move on? Or is she worth the pursuit?

Are you suggesting that you understand women who are not Thai?.....

same same, if so probably be somewhere else

[Twiggy44]

Had to read the whole OP just to find out what the hel_l a G-Club is. A rather quaint way of glossing over the hard fact she is a P4P lass.

Well at least, as Shotime suggests, she is at least being partially honest with you. The fact that you say you are on big bucks and she doesn't want to enter into a formal relationship shows she must have money-a-plenty coming in from other sources. Also, as poshthai says, she is quite likely tucked up with a Thai husband or boyfriend hence the excuses.

The only odd thing is you don't mention any money you give her. I've never known a Thai woman in that line of business for whom the chance of more money would be turned down. This further strengthens the Thai hubby/bf theory.

I think the majority vote would be for you to move on and try striking up a relationship with a Thai woman from outside the profession.

<edit : btw claiming you don't understand Thai women based on your dealing with a G-Club girl and then posting it in the Ladies forum is not going to make you many new friends.>

Phill I like your brutality.....LOL...pls tell that guy to contact me??? I'm wondering why no farangs like me...

[moo9]

I know some G-Point Girls

G-Club Girls....no idea what's about taking care of male customers who walk through their doors and make them feel important / welcome. What' that all about?????

[wileycoyote]

I would look for someone better !

[MEGALITHIC]

I met a G-Club girl 10 months ago and have since fallen in love with her, going back as often as 5 times over the last 10 months just to see her and spend time with her. When we're together we behave exactly like a normal couple would - holding hands, hugging, plenty of kissing and even the occasional sex, but whenever I brought up the topic of being together "officially" she would have (in my opinion) a ton of excuses, from not being able to maintain a relationship based on trust because of where she works (in a G-Club) to not deserving of me (I'm a Senior Manager earning considerable wages in The World). That apparantly has never stopped her before - she also met her last boyfriend in the club where she works and maintained a relationship for about a year. She may work in the nght scene but has values and principles, treasures her body and is insightful and mature. I find myself thinking about her all the time (even after so long) and she has only bothered to contact me once every few days. She's done plenty of sweet things for me and when we're together it feels like bliss but she just wouldn't consider the idea of being together. I even sugegsted before my last visit to her that I'd be happy if she would just recognise me as a boyfriend even if it's only for a few days, but was greeted with a cold "This isn't a game. We're not in the movies." Lest any of you start generalising or stereotyping G-Club girls, let me come out and say now that she's thinking of quitting all the time and even bought a restaurant recently with the aim of getting out. She keeps her feelings to herself most of the time, doesn't splash out sweet nothings like your regular gogo girl and would seldom even acknowledge that she misses me (if she does at all). She's extremely shy about verbal declarations which I find strange. Do Thai girls all behave like that?

Am I the childish one? Should I move on? Or is she worth the pursuit?

The thing that amazes me is that why is it that guys who seem to be well educated, and holding down a well paid job would even want to get involved with a girl that is, to put it bluntly, a prostitute.

If you could find a Thai women who was equally as beautiful but was educated, had a profession and was self sufficient and you then stood her next to your go-go girl to compare them, I'm absolutely certain that you wouldn't even give the go-go girl a second thought.

They've got nothing that can advance your position on this planet. You will be the one that will have to constantly give - mainly in economic terms. Once the lust wears off, what are you left with - an uneducated rice farmers daughter that that will bore the shit out of you. Stop thinking with your small head and find someone that can add to your life in a meaningful and significant way, not fuc_k with your mind. If you don't want to make a commitment to a relationship then be a emotionally unattached butterfly.

Cheers.

[wileycoyote]

Good advice

[RakJungTorlae]

Gezz more people I know have been banned I just noticed reading throw this thread.

OP how’s it going with the door girl?

[prinzregent]

"holding hands, hugging, plenty of kissing and even the occasional sex"

I ONLY know girls working like this in the walking street. They "work" in Pattaya in bars, GoGo bars or they work as a freelancer.

If you want more you should pay more. I give you here a TIP: 1.000 for short time, 2.000 for a bit more love, 3.000 for long time and if you like her so much, pay 5.000 per day. If you want she loves you look for a house on her name. 2.500.000 Baht up

But you can find cheaper girls, you can go "geisterbahn" for 500 Baht per day and search on the beach for a girl or you can have cute beautiful girls for 5.000 up. But if she has already a boy-friend ( he is just in Europe and pays 25.000 per month reservation ) you can not have her alone. Most cute girls have SEVERAL boy-friends.

"I find myself thinking about her all the time (even after so long)"

I do understand you, they are really perfect ! But they "work". Do not forget. Carpe diem.

"Do Thai girls all behave like that?"

NO. There are f.ex. plenty of 7eleven girls work for 8.000 Bath per month 9 hours every day. Some would never touch Falang.

"Am I the childish one?"

You are in the butterfly trap.

Take care or the trap even could kill you ( see youtube "notanidiot2" British man murdered by his Thai bride and her lover )

[JustinTeo]

Dear All,

It's been close to a year since I last visited this thread which I started. A lot of things have transpired since then, and i feel obligated to come back to the very thread that began the whole "thinking" process and thank every one of you for being so supportive, blunt (I needed that) and to-the-point. The people in this forum are all great guys and I would really like to thank you again from the bottom of my heart for your contributions and concern.

There was a reason for her aloof attitude. While she was getting involved with me, she had a boyfriend (ironically enough, from the same country as me) whom she didn't love anymore but promised to wait for - he was recently jailed for a white-collar crime. She had an attraction to me from the very beginning but felt guilty throughout as she had promised him she would wait until he was released before getting married. All her friends told her to drop him and try for a fresh relationship with me, but she just didn't want him to end up killing himself (imagine landing in jail and getting ditched by your girlfriend while serving time). I almost gave the entire thing up, but I'm glad I didn't. She let her heart rule her head, wrote him a break-up letter and sent it to him in jail, and we've been together ever since.

She quit the G-Club for my sake, and is now earning decent wages in an office - that's a huge, huge sacrifice considering how much less she is earning now and how strongly I put my foot down in refusing to give her a "monthly allowance" to help her out financially - she asked once but never did ask again. I've since visited her family back in province several times and they are the nicest folks in the world. A couple of months back, she visited me in my country and met up with my folks as well. Everybody in my family loved her. Of course, nobody knew what she used to do for a living, but it's nothing disgraceful if you knew how mature she really was as a person and how her head was screwed in the right places. She opened up and articulated her dating history to me (which was, surprisingly, what you would expect from a typical "good-girl"), and I appreciated her honesty. She told me what used to go on in these clubs and how she would protect herself during the course of work (hugging yes-frolicking no, peck on the cheeks yes-kiss on the lips no), and how she would always get her friends to wait outside the club after work so they could go home together - they protect themselves in a pack. There was absolutely no sleeping around where she worked, and I have since been in that place often enough to believe that theory. I've since made friends with everyone in her office and they pretty much get along with me very well, often having nothing but praise for her attitude at work. I manage to get her on the phone all the time, pretty much whenever I want, and we are in a place where we feel extremely comfortable with each other and that element of trust is at its highest. Sometimes, her female friends would call me just to chat and ask when I'm going back to see the gang again.

It's by no means a complete story, but I'm just glad at how things have turned out. I'm the academically superior one, but more often than not I find her correcting me on the ways of life and I'm grateful that we're able to share experiences like this. She was never a graduate, but just about the most mature lady I have ever had the fortune of meeting. Things might still end sour, but I will never regret pursuing this even if it never worked out for us - it's been a hel_l of a ride.

Edited May 21, 2009 by JustinTeo

[bkkjames]

Thanks for the update Justin.

Question, if one meets a girl at the G Club is that the same as meeting her at her G-Spot?