Dear United States, Welcome to the Third World!

It's not every day that a superpower makes a bid to transform itself into a Third World nation, and we here at the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund want to be among the first to welcome you to the community of states in desperate need of international economic assistance. As you spiral into a catastrophic financial meltdown, we are delighted to respond to your Treasury Department's request that we undertake a joint stability assessment of your financial sector. In these turbulent times, we can provide services ranging from subsidized loans to expert advisors willing to perform an emergency overhaul of your entire government.

As you know, some outside intervention in your economy is overdue. Last week -- even before Wall Street's latest collapse -- 13 former finance ministers convened at the University of Virginia and agreed that you must fix your "broken financial system." Australia's Peter Costello noted that lately you've been "exporting instability" in world markets, and Yashwant Sinha, former finance minister of India, concluded, "The time has come. The U.S. should accept some monitoring by the IMF."

We hope you won't feel embarrassed as we assess the stability of your economy and suggest needed changes. Remember, many other countries have been in your shoes. We've bailed out the economies of Argentina, Brazil, Indonesia and South Korea. But whether our work is in Sudan, Bangladesh or now the United States, our experts are committed to intervening in national economies with care and sensitivity.

We thus want to acknowledge the progress you have made in your evolution from economic superpower to economic basket case. Normally, such a process might take 100 years or more. With your oscillation between free-market extremism and nationalization of private companies, however, you have successfully achieved, in a few short years, many of the key hallmarks of Third World economies.

Your policies of irresponsible government deregulation in critical sectors allowed you to rapidly develop an energy crisis, a housing crisis, a credit crisis and a financial market crisis, all at once, and accompanied (and partly caused) by impressive levels of corruption and speculation. Meanwhile, those of your political leaders charged with oversight were either napping or in bed with corporate lobbyists.

Take John McCain, your Republican presidential nominee, whose senior staff includes half a dozen prominent former lobbyists. As he recently put it, "I was chairman of the [senate] Commerce Committee that oversights every part of the economy." No question about it: Your leaders' failure to notice the damage done by irresponsible deregulation was indeed an oversight of epic proportions.

Now you are facing the consequences. Income inequality has increased, as the rich have gotten windfalls while the middle class has seen incomes stagnate. Fewer and fewer of your citizens have access to affordable housing, healthcare or security in retirement. Even life expectancy has dropped. And when your economic woes went from chronic to acute, you responded -- like so many Third World states have -- with an extensive program of nationalizing private companies and assets. Your mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are now state owned and controlled, and this week your reinsurance giant AIG was effectively nationalized, with the Federal Reserve Board seizing an 80% equity stake in the flailing company.

Some might deride this as socialism. But desperate times call for desperate measures.

Admittedly, your transition to Third World status is far from over, and it won't be painless. At first, for instance, you may find it hard to get used to the shantytowns that will replace the exurban sprawl of McMansions that helped fuel the real estate speculation bubble. But in time, such shantytowns will simply become part of the landscape. Similarly, as unemployment rates continue to rise, you will initially struggle to find a use for the expanding pool of angry, jobless young men. But you will gradually realize that you can recruit them to fight in a ceaseless round of armed conflicts, a solution that has been utilized by many other Third World states before you. Indeed, with your wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, you are off to an excellent start.

Perhaps this letter comes as a surprise to you, and you feel you're not fully ready to join the Third World. Don't let this feeling concern you. Though you may never have realized it, you've been preparing for this moment for years.

don't foget... they built their cities, they built their cities on 'rock and roll'

every great super power throughout history has fallen. It is not beyond the realm of possibility that the US has surpassed its brighter moments. Things will be interesting from here on out.

I'd love to see the US go down the gurglar, however, two monumental problems exist.

1. All other markets would follow the trend to some degree, pricipally because uncle sam owes them so much money & this would be bad for everybody AKA - worldwide depression - back to living on mama noodles & thirty-five baht rub and tugs.

2. And the scary thought - who would fill their shoes? The French being the world's watch dog? <deleted> :cheeesy: The French couldn't evectively police a brothel. The Chinese controlling the money? Give me a break. The secret desire of the Chinese on a world scale is worse than any of Mr T's fantasies about turning Thailand into another Singapore with Shinawatra Corp. as the secondary national logo. The Russians - sorry - don't have the money to be more than an itch on a buffalo's backside. The Arabs and others from the middle east power block - could'nt organise an orgy in a whorehouse. Too much bickering & they will all probably be broke the day the oil dries up anyway from indulging in all that is forbideen by Mohammed.

for a bit of a laugh

check out www.michaelmoore .com

Chhers.

A couple of scary thoughts there (especially about the French, cheese eating surrender monkeys that they are, only won one decent war and that was against themselves) the main scary thought is that the Thais could be right, Thailand could be pretty much self sufficient, not a care about the world outside its borders...... of course, by Thailand, I'm excluding areas such as Bangkok, Phuket, Pattaya etc .... they would be well and truly screwed..... it's such a shame that the powers that be here don't realise that.

I'd love to see the US go down the gurglar, however, two monumental problems exist.

1. All other markets would follow the trend to some degree, pricipally because uncle sam owes them so much money & this would be bad for everybody AKA - worldwide depression - back to living on mama noodles & thirty-five baht rub and tugs.

2. And the scary thought - who would fill their shoes? The French being the world's watch dog? <deleted> :cheeesy: The French couldn't evectively police a brothel. The Chinese controlling the money? Give me a break. The secret desire of the Chinese on a world scale is worse than any of Mr T's fantasies about turning Thailand into another Singapore with Shinawatra Corp. as the secondary national logo. The Russians - sorry - don't have the money to be more than an itch on a buffalo's backside. The Arabs and others from the middle east power block - could'nt organise an orgy in a whorehouse. Too much bickering & they will all probably be broke the day the oil dries up anyway from indulging in all that is forbideen by Mohammed.

for a bit of a laugh

check out www.michaelmoore .com

Chhers.

we Germans can do that...all of the above...

Better for the world to dance with the devil they know.

He must have a long spoon, that must eat with the Devil.

Billy S.

Actually this is the quote I wanted, Chaucer I think. Jeez I love the English language.

Therefore behoveth him a ful long spone,

That shall eat with a fiend.

Thailand could be pretty much self sufficient, not a care about the world outside its borders......

The Thai's don't really care much about what goes on outside their borders now. The only time they become objective about something is when it could affect Thailand's internal matters or revenue - like getting caught selling under spec. prawn to the EU countries and only taking action when the contracts suddenly fall foul of anti-dumping trust laws (love this catch word for we want to impose tariffs outside our FTA's )

Well Sounders, that's my point, the few times that shirts get ruffled, where does it affect?

You may have some interior minister or a wealthy family with a few interests in a prawn farm (your example) but they will have so many interests that one suffering will not cause them too much pain..... in the light of a global economic meltdown, that same minister or wealthy family may suddenly find that everything they have a vested interest in has suddenly turned to crap.

You are right when you say that the Thais don't care about what happens outside their borders, but we have different borders don't we, there is the national border were every Thai loves Thailand and they are all the same, hang the world, just keep buying our exports, and then there are the internal borders which are just as well defined, quite strikingly so...... if Bangkok starting sinking into the swamp it was built on, would one Isaan farmer shed a tear, I doubt it.

if Bangkok starting sinking into the swamp it was built on, would one Isaan farmer shed a tear, I doubt it.

they would if they are farming for the purposes of selling their produce in Bangkok. the people in Bangkok get their food from somewhere, and that place where they get their food usually involves a business transaction. sure a lot of isaan agriculture is exported from Thailand, but a lot of it is also for domestic use. Bangkok is a fairly large city and consumes a fairly large amount of produce, much of which come from Isaan.

sure a lot of isaan agriculture is exported from Thailand, but a lot of it is also for domestic use.

I would hazard a guess that the vast majority of it is exported.

(talking of rice, rubber etc...... not durian)

The North, Lanna, literally means the land of a million rice fields.

I'm looking at a huge crop outside my backdoor now and I wouldn't be surprised if a second crop is planted immediately after harvest. The dams are full and the rivers are still near bursting.

The only crop failure this year was my Mrs maize crop.... I really have to take a hand next year and get some decent seed in.

I really have to take a hand next year and get some decent seed in.

i should really be spreading my seed next year as well.

edit: gotta love bedlam

Shame you have to take a hand to do it.

Or hiring a hand to do it!

I use both hands.

One to hold onto the end of the bed?

I use both hands.

I've also tried both hands once, but forgot to hold on to "something" ......... so nothing happened