What Do Thai Woman Think?

[Boo]

i too am wondering what point you are trying to make paklang? op asked what thai women think, sbk asked one & posted her answer. Would you have made an issue if she had said that her thai staff thought it was good & she liked to see it?

[KatieCat]

According to my Thai cook, she thinks "dirty old man" if the man looks considerably older than the woman.

Sorry, but you did say you wanted a Thai woman's opinion, so I asked her.

NO NO NO,you lie...LOL They are thinking mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,i want him too!!I have never heard a Thai lady say bad things about an older farang/young girl couple,except in spite.Most are just jealous,and certainly feel they are "over the hill"as such.(I would like to clarify,i DON'T feel older woman are over the hill,or past it,and you can stop punching me now,honey..)

Hmmm..., as a Thai lady myself, I would like to say I've never been 'jealous' in the way that 'I want that FARANG too!' when seeing a couple (Farang and Thai girl, regardless of their age) hand in hand na kha. Trust me, not all Thai girls WANT 'farang' guys (Please don't be offended na kha

I don't know much about other group of girls, but as for me and my friends (we are around 25-30 years old), farang guys are just 'guys'. We may like you, or hate you, or simply just feel so-so about you, the same way we feel about Thai, or other Asian guys. You are not at all 'special' or 'preferable' or anything as such. Some girls even think they don't want to have farang boyfriends at all because they don't feel comfortable around them due to the cultural differences or different attitude towards things.

When seeing older farang man with younger Thai woman, some Thai people (I said 'people' na kha, not girls ) might look at them in a bad way because of the false belief and Thai social values (not jealousy). It is believed that normally around 80% of such couples are not because of love. Men may look for girls to hang out with, and girls may just see these men as 'walking ATM'. It maybe true, or maybe not, we don't know, but this is the way we look at this kind of couple. That's why sometimes you might feel people looking at you in a really bad way when you walk with a much younger Thai girl.

And oh, some of my friends also think of that older farang with young lady as 'dirty old man' na kha

No doubt, clearly seen that lots of Thai girls want to have farang boyfriends, but it's absolutely not like if you are Farang, we will run after you crying 'oh prince charming, please rescue us and take us to your castle!' na kha. As for me, I tend to build my own castle rather than asking a man who has the same age as my grandfather

Sorry na kha if I am rude or say things that might offend someone here. It's just that I am tired and sick of the idea that you guys keep saying Thai girls is chasing after Farang guys. It is insulting and hurting in many many ways....when you seriously come to think of it.

[John_Rambo]

Sorry na kha if I am rude or say things that might offend someone here. It's just that I am tired and sick of the idea that you guys keep saying Thai girls is chasing after Farang guys. It is insulting and hurting in many many ways....when you seriously come to think of it.

With all respect, you and your friends may not be, but the experience of the majority of men on this forum will be that a significant number of Thai women are specifically chasing after Farang guys. Of course, the reasons for that are obvious.

[thithi]

P' Katiecat. Inded it is true. But there are BGs. All foreigners go to pubs/clubs and get to know them. Working as BGs, they do for "money" and when they get to know foreigners [do not have to be white] they may think it is the best and easiest way to have family, get married and yes earn some money. They have been doing that since before we were born. That makes them to be such an image of Thai girls. Then most of foreigners think of all Thai girls that way.

I do think bad with girls who have got much older partners. I would think Grandpa is taking niece dressing like Paris Hilton on secret vid. for ice-cream and buying Barbie dolls or something.

[eek]

Might be because many of the western men who come to Thailand head for and hang out 'certain areas', so they get a warped impression of Thai women. Thats why you get some idiots who think that all Thai women want them or that they can inappropriately touch any Thai woman who they like the look of. Also, as many Thai women are polite and respectful, when a much older man (or other men really who they may not be interested in) takes an interest and chats them up, the lady may smile and be nice and thinks he is onto a winner, or goes away thinking he charmed the pants off her, when shes just thinking "OMG, please go away!". I have often seen young girls with a certain kind of smile that seems obviously strained, but the man continues waffle on and on like he is lighting up her world. Oblivious to her body language and cues.

Even the men who are openly 'dating' Bar Girls, there is no need to act like a jerk. One memory springs to mind where I was sitting having a coffee in Bangkok and a man comes along with a very pretty but really overly dressed girl (now..im not saying that instantly should make someone think "bar girl", but in general..you can sort of tell. Sorry if that sounds offensive. I dont mind who is a bar girl and who isnt!). They sat next to me and the guy was talking to her like a total jerk. She didnt say much at all. He pulled out a ten dollar bill and started waving it in front of her teasing her and saying things like "this is what you want baby, isnt it". If she tried to take it, he would pull his hand back. Now..bg or not, that guy was a total ass. No need to treat another person like that, ever.

[F1fanatic]

According to my Thai cook, she thinks "dirty old man" if the man looks considerably older than the woman.

Sorry, but you did say you wanted a Thai woman's opinion, so I asked her.

It's just that I am tired and sick of the idea that you guys keep saying Thai girls is chasing after Farang guys. It is insulting and hurting in many many ways....when you seriously come to think of it.

Of course it is insulting and hurtful that the stereotype is assumed to apply to every Thai female! Anyone who makes this mistake will find out v quickly that this is not the case!

Unfortunately a fair number of "Thai girls is chasing after Farang guys.".

Speaking from personal experience, a certain type of Thai woman is just "chasing after Farang guys", regardless of whether he is married or anything else that would influence most female's decisions as to whether a man was 'a good match'' or not.

Even more unfortunately this behaviour is so common it has become a 'stereotype', reflecting badly on Thai women and farang men alike.

[KatieCat]

P' Katiecat. Inded it is true. But there are BGs. All foreigners go to pubs/clubs and get to know them. Working as BGs, they do for "money" and when they get to know foreigners [do not have to be white] they may think it is the best and easiest way to have family, get married and yes earn some money. They have been doing that since before we were born. That makes them to be such an image of Thai girls. Then most of foreigners think of all Thai girls that way.

I do think bad with girls who have got much older partners. I would think Grandpa is taking niece dressing like Paris Hilton on secret vid. for ice-cream and buying Barbie dolls or something.

Thank you very much for the comment na kha :-). Actually, I am aware of this and have seen it quite often. However, it's just that BGs are such a small group compared to the rest of the girls in Thailand. Not all of us are like that. When foreigners use the word 'Thai girls' to critisize these girls, I feel like it goes straight to me too and slap me on the face. It's just not fair for us to be prejudiced like that only by being 'Thai girls' Believe it or not, some of us had to lie about our true nationality sometimes when we were abroad. It's just sad to realize that no matter how good we try to behave ourselves, people out there still think of us as bimbos who always thirst for money.

Come to think of it, if those bar girls really had a choice, maybe they would not 'sell' themselves like that. I am in no position to critisize them. Maybe I am lucky and have more opportunity. Although I hate to see these girls continue destroying Thai girls' 'image' by behaving like this, I feel sorry for them also. If we were uneducated, illiterate, but had parents or brothers&sisters to take care of, we probably would throw away our dignity, like they did.

Thank you very much na kha for your understanding. Indeed appreciated. Also, sorry again if I offended someone here, that was never my intention.

Ps. I do like your comparison na kha :-) It gave such a vivid image. (Paris Hilton and Grandpa hmmm...)

[eek]

It's just not fair for us to be prejudiced like that only by being 'Thai girls' Believe it or not, some of us had to lie about our true nationality sometimes when we were abroad.

Thats very sad.

Katie, if its any consolation, I certainly dont think all Thai women come under the same bracket as bar girls. Or think that women of any nationality are all the same as each other. Many MANY people do think the same way, and have a love and appreciation for Thailand and its people.

Dont worry about the prejudiced ones, stand up and be proud about who you are and where you are from.

[thithi]

ok let's say Thai girls and Thai ladies do not have the same meaning.

We Thai ladies may have more oppotunities than those Thai girls.... Pathetic, but can not help.

If they do not work, I will earn no money. I reckon no one is born to be BG, but they do just have no choices.

However, for those lazy f-kers ruining Thai Ladies' reputations are not going to be forgiven. They are not born to be BGs. They just want catching guys, breeding, and upgrading for better life. It is easy for catching and chasing those bg-fancy guys. That's why those guys think they all are sooooo easy and sometimes stupid.

I once was asked "Why are there so many prostitutes in Thailand?" and was told an impression "I like Thai girls. They are so hot, cheap, and easy." !! @$#$@#@%#$@#^%#$@!! This is definitely unfair. There are bgs everywhere in the world, but talking about Thai girls there are more stuffs to talk about! I do not mind telling people that I am Thai. I even kicked some asses talking bad and untrue about Thai people.... sometimes.

Hope we Thai ladies are not going to bump into some jerks.

G'day

[F1fanatic]

ok let's say Thai girls and Thai ladies do not have the same meaning.

We Thai ladies may have more oppotunities than those Thai girls.... Pathetic, but can not help.

If they do not work, I will earn no money. I reckon no one is born to be BG, but they do just have no choices.

However, for those lazy f-kers ruining Thai Ladies' reputations are not going to be forgiven. They are not born to be BGs. They just want catching guys, breeding, and upgrading for better life. It is easy for catching and chasing those bg-fancy guys. That's why those guys think they all are sooooo easy and sometimes stupid.

I once was asked "Why are there so many prostitutes in Thailand?" and was told an impression "I like Thai girls. They are so hot, cheap, and easy." !! @$#$@#@%#$@#^%#$@!! This is definitely unfair. There are bgs everywhere in the world, but talking about Thai girls there are more stuffs to talk about! I do not mind telling people that I am Thai. I even kicked some asses talking bad and untrue about Thai people.... sometimes.

Hope we Thai ladies are not going to bump into some jerks.

G'day

Don't quite understand your post, but ummm sorry, they do have a choice. Believe it or not, there are LOTS of women in the West who are born into poor families, have lower than average intelligence and generally have no chance in life. Only a small minority sell themselves for money because its seen as morally unacceptable.

The percentage of women who will chase someone for money is, unfortunately, far higher in Thailand than elsewhere. Hence the reputation.

I'm afraid that even saying "I even kicked some asses talking bad and untrue about Thai people" sounds ridiculous. It may be untrue in your case, but the stereotype is there for a reason. Why are you so concerned about trying to pretend otherwise???

Edited May 3, 2009 by F1fanatic

[473geo]

ok let's say Thai girls and Thai ladies do not have the same meaning.

We Thai ladies may have more oppotunities than those Thai girls.... Pathetic, but can not help.

If they do not work, I will earn no money. I reckon no one is born to be BG, but they do just have no choices.

However, for those lazy f-kers ruining Thai Ladies' reputations are not going to be forgiven. They are not born to be BGs. They just want catching guys, breeding, and upgrading for better life. It is easy for catching and chasing those bg-fancy guys. That's why those guys think they all are sooooo easy and sometimes stupid.

I once was asked "Why are there so many prostitutes in Thailand?" and was told an impression "I like Thai girls. They are so hot, cheap, and easy." !! @$#$@#@%#$@#^%#$@!! This is definitely unfair. There are bgs everywhere in the world, but talking about Thai girls there are more stuffs to talk about! I do not mind telling people that I am Thai. I even kicked some asses talking bad and untrue about Thai people.... sometimes.

Hope we Thai ladies are not going to bump into some jerks.

G'day

Don't quite understand your post, but ummm sorry, they do have a choice. Believe it or not, there are LOTS of women in the West who are born into poor families, have lower than average intelligence and generally have no chance in life. Only a small minority sell themselves for money because its seen as morally unacceptable.

The percentage of women who will chase someone for money is, unfortunately, far higher in Thailand than elsewhere. Hence the reputation.

I'm afraid that even saying "I even kicked some asses talking bad and untrue about Thai people" sounds ridiculous. It may be untrue in your case, but the stereotype is there for a reason. Why are you so concerned about trying to pretend otherwise???

F1 - you obviously know the answer.......a solution which will surely apply to Thailand.......HOW do the 'LOTS of women in the west who are born into poor families, have lower than average intelligence and generally have no chance in life'.......how do they avoid the lure of prostitution......how do theses unfortunates support their extended families and themselves????

Your solution has no doubt been awaited by many many many people for a long long time.....

Edited May 3, 2009 by 473geo

[F1fanatic]

ok let's say Thai girls and Thai ladies do not have the same meaning.

We Thai ladies may have more oppotunities than those Thai girls.... Pathetic, but can not help.

If they do not work, I will earn no money. I reckon no one is born to be BG, but they do just have no choices.

However, for those lazy f-kers ruining Thai Ladies' reputations are not going to be forgiven. They are not born to be BGs. They just want catching guys, breeding, and upgrading for better life. It is easy for catching and chasing those bg-fancy guys. That's why those guys think they all are sooooo easy and sometimes stupid.

I once was asked "Why are there so many prostitutes in Thailand?" and was told an impression "I like Thai girls. They are so hot, cheap, and easy." !! @$#$@#@%#$@#^%#$@!! This is definitely unfair. There are bgs everywhere in the world, but talking about Thai girls there are more stuffs to talk about! I do not mind telling people that I am Thai. I even kicked some asses talking bad and untrue about Thai people.... sometimes.

Hope we Thai ladies are not going to bump into some jerks.

G'day

Don't quite understand your post, but ummm sorry, they do have a choice. Believe it or not, there are LOTS of women in the West who are born into poor families, have lower than average intelligence and generally have no chance in life. Only a small minority sell themselves for money because its seen as morally unacceptable.

The percentage of women who will chase someone for money is, unfortunately, far higher in Thailand than elsewhere. Hence the reputation.

I'm afraid that even saying "I even kicked some asses talking bad and untrue about Thai people" sounds ridiculous. It may be untrue in your case, but the stereotype is there for a reason. Why are you so concerned about trying to pretend otherwise???

F1 - you obviously know the answer.......a solution which will surely apply to Thailand.......HOW do the 'LOTS of women in the west who are born into poor families, have lower than average intelligence and generally have no chance in life'.......how do they avoid the lure of prostitution......how do theses unfortunates support their extended families and themselves????

Your solution has no doubt been awaited by many many many people for a long long time.....

I think you need to ask them! You're pointless sarcasm is noted, but, from what I've seen, by getting a decent, low-paid job and learning to live with the little they have (just like many Thai women). I've no doubt its a v tough existence and feel desperately sorry for them, but its hardly unusual! Where on earth do you come from to think otherwise??

[473geo]

A SINGLE mum falsely claimed nearly £19,000 in benefits, Grimsby Magistrates' Court heard.

Just one example of one method used by westerners - to avoid poverty

Not available in Thailand I think.......

Not sarcasm F1.... reality.....

But off topic surely......I am not a Thai lady so do not know what they think!!! Enough from me....

[473geo]

Source Irish Times

Expressed in absolute terms, the figures convey perhaps a clearer sense of the unfolding catastrophe. The number of people out of work is expected to average 366,000 next year compared with 100,000 in 2007. What this might imply for the numbers on the dole queues is not spelled out, but my guess is that it would be consistent with a Live Register count of somewhere between 500,000 and 550,000. Given an average cost of €20,000 per person, this in turn would convert into a bill of €10-€11 billion for the exchequer, an enormous drain on public resources, equivalent to almost a third of the likely tax take.

Is there such a thing as a dole queue.....in Thailand......I think not!!!

So what do Thai ladies think of that? When speaking of options?

[katana]

A social security net to fall back on, even if it's not much, makes a difference.

[BigSnake]

Why worry about they think, you are taking of yourself and your lady. Now having told you that many of my close Thai friends males/females, most of whom are in there late 40s mid 50s have told me it is consider impolite for couples to hold hand in public or to show private affect in public this maybe why you see some strange looks. To me this should be just plan old common sense all over the world.

[F1fanatic]

Why worry about they think, you are taking of yourself and your lady. Now having told you that many of my close Thai friends males/females, most of whom are in there late 40s mid 50s have told me it is consider impolite for couples to hold hand in public or to show private affect in public this maybe why you see some strange looks. To me this should be just plan old common sense all over the world.

Impolite to hold hands of show affection in public - I've seen far worse, but then I live in a tourist area!

The OP is (I think) 42 (from memory 2 pages back!) and his gf 28. He said his gf looks younger (and let's be honest, Thais look very young until they hit 40 (or thereabouts when age really hits them), so its not too suprising if he gets the odd unflattering look!

As you say, common sense.

[KatieCat]

It's just not fair for us to be prejudiced like that only by being 'Thai girls' Believe it or not, some of us had to lie about our true nationality sometimes when we were abroad.

Thats very sad.

Katie, if its any consolation, I certainly dont think all Thai women come under the same bracket as bar girls. Or think that women of any nationality are all the same as each other. Many MANY people do think the same way, and have a love and appreciation for Thailand and its people.

Dont worry about the prejudiced ones, stand up and be proud about who you are and where you are from.

Thank you very much na kha

[Tonyzill]

I am Thai married an English gentleman and living in the UK at the moment. Farangs seem always get attention everywhere they appear in Thailand especially in country side. Women see a farang walking with a Thai lady, first thing in their mind they are thinking the woman possibly be or used to be a bar girl, a bit look down feeling on the woman, plus a bit of jealousy, that's all they can do.

I don't care what they think, I was a teacher before I met my husband and even if the woman was working at bar before doesn't mean she's bad person, she could meet good guy, marries, settles down, has good family, being a good wife and a good mother.

I am married to a Thai Lady and I believe we are happily married.

I believe a large majority of Thai women are good and decent people regardless of where they have had to go and work to earn money for thier families. Most are just looking for a good guy who they can settle down with marry and have kids and not for fortunes.

[Shazza]

to make a looooooooooooooong story short... due to some unforeseen circumstances I was at Lotus with my friend's younger brother... I'm nearly 50 and he's about 23... I was waiting to go back and pick up my car and he wouldn't leave me to wait alone... so I was doing a little shopping and he was carrying the basket for me and following me around... I had learned one time when out with his sister NOT to take the basket as I am considered by them as an aunty and very loved and respected.... anyway, I realised eventually that I was getting little funny looks from people and also realised that some people were thining that he was my toy boy... a Thai lady even in a round about way congratulated me!!!! eeeekkkkk..... he's like a son to me! Funny eh?

I know heaps of lovely Thai ladies who are just interested in finding a decent man, which I percieve is a little tricky in this society... many of my friends believe that somehow Farang men are more faithful and loving than Thai guys... I think it's just lovely to find the right one... I found mine and have just celebrated 20 years marriage... he's five years younger than men and we are both from the same culture...

[zemoo]

First of all I'd like to apologize for posting on this topic as a male but I think a lot of guys out there need to hear this. I am 30 years old and I'm a "Falang" living in Bangkok (not quite sure why anymore but that's another story). I don't consider myself to be particularly good looking but it seems plenty of the local ladies here think I am (so they tell me) and I'm comfortable with that. I don't go to bars or clubs anymore (READ GUYS: your wasting your time and money there if you're looking for a nice girl in Thailand - not to say that every girl who goes to a bar or club is no good but this has been my general experience after living here over a year or so and dating quite a few girls. And I'm not talking about Nana, Cowboy, Patpong or any other of those shit holes - though I will admit I've been there a few times out of frustration and enjoyed the experience for what it is! ). What you want is an educated (but not hi-so - boring, snobby spoilt little drama queens), attractive girl (dresses nicely but not too revealing) who holds down a day job, doesn't rely on you for money, doesn't smoke and doesn't drink that much ( a bit is acceptable but if she drinks as much as you I'd be worried). If you don't have that, I would walk away from while you still can and get back in the real game! If you do have a girl like this her quality, charm and traditional values will show through and everybody will see it and the only looks you will be getting will be looks of jealousy - from Thais and Falangs - (assuming you're a decent bloke with a bit of class who looks respectable and not 3 times her age! - but then again you must be or you'd never pull a girl like this!). There are millions of these girls in Thailand but you have to look in the right places and put in a lot of effort (start by learning the language) if your going to stand any chance at all. The fact of the matter is - and no guys like to admit it - the vast majority of attractive, well-educated, without kids or ex-husbands who've abandoned them, Thai girls (the type you would proudly take home to meet your folks) are simply not interested in Falangs at all - and why would they be? most of the Falangs living over here (genuine expats excluded) are trash or at best have serious issues and absolutely nothing to offer!. If you think that just being a foreigner and having money makes you desirable to a respectable Thai girl you are seriously deluded! There are plenty of Thai guys with more money than you and plenty of Thai guys that are better looking than you. At best you're a bit of a novelty and this will only get you so far. If you want to be taken seriously you have to respect the customs and cultural norms ( the do's and dont's) and it's no good saying who gives a dam_n what anybody else thinks (in Thailand everybody gives a dam_n about what everybody else thinks - Asia is all about face!). It's so obvious when it's not the real deal!

Having said all that, I think the cultural differences are so great that even if you find a "keeper" it's going to be hard work.

I hope I haven't offended anyone here, that is certainly not my intention. Just a reality check!

[zemoo]

to sunreader - nothing personal! My post was not aimed at you but I suspect a lot of guys will be reading this topic. Congratulations and good luck to you, I hope it all goes well. Relationships are so difficult in Thailand and it takes a brave woman to put up with all the stigma attached to being with a foreign man. That's what I hate most about living here - I wish dating was more fun and not so predictable.

[Burr]

Well said. I don't touch my wife or hold hands on the street. I married to a Filipina.

I see the looks "we" get when we drive by and I think most of them are wishful thinking.

I keep a very low profile, drive a very small pickup and van and we get along.

Edited May 7, 2009 by Burr

[Mulder123]

It depends on what you look like as a couple to be honest. If you are fat, bald, have a comb-over, and are wearing 3/4 length pants and a brown t-shirt, and your girlfriend is wearing illuminous pink hello kitty clothes and a skirt which could be mistaken for a belt, then yes I can imagine you would look like a sad old man with a hooker.

However, if you are both dressed smartly and you are healthy, then you will probably look like a good couple and people will be thinking you both have got it sorted.

Also note: you can usually spot a happy couple a mile off because they are few and far between, next time you are out, look for yourself, look at the Thai ladies with the older men, they look uninterested, bored as fuc_k and have a face like a slapped arse.

haha that was so well put. I am 42 in really good shape my wife is 23 but we rock man - I am sure a few people hate me when I walk around with her but who cares. The funniest thing was up in Chiang Mai at a coffee shop I was with my wife and two of her friends (who have Thai bf but weren't with us at the time), her friends are also really hot and every foreign guy thought I was a god and all the foreign chicks thought I was an asshol_e I am sure. what ever...... other thai girls usually look jealous but if you are a cool couple people in general are jealous - most people I think know you are a cool couple by the way you interact - I have seen so many fat bald losers with thai gf or wife who just sit there never say anything - its pathetic. The one thing that does bug me is all the fat white chicks who look at you like you just took a dump on thier couch - maybe if they lost some of that fat we would date them but I doubt it haha

[eek]

..Mulder, thats a heck of a lot of prejudices you got stored in there. Im glad for you that you are happy, but really, im pretty sure that most people really are not too preoccupied whether you are a "cool" couple or not.

[Sabum]

haha that was so well put. I am 42 in really good shape my wife is 23 but we rock man - I am sure a few people hate me when I walk around with her but who cares. The funniest thing was up in Chiang Mai at a coffee shop I was with my wife and two of her friends (who have Thai bf but weren't with us at the time), her friends are also really hot and every foreign guy thought I was a god and all the foreign chicks thought I was an asshol_e I am sure. what ever...... other thai girls usually look jealous but if you are a cool couple people in general are jealous - most people I think know you are a cool couple by the way you interact - I have seen so many fat bald losers with thai gf or wife who just sit there never say anything - its pathetic. The one thing that does bug me is all the fat white chicks who look at you like you just took a dump on thier couch - maybe if they lost some of that fat we would date them but I doubt it haha

Hehe you really know how to make friends eh buddy? NOT

Another old dude that thinks he's hot stuff lol... hey you're not actually supposed to believe the overly used "you handsome man" Thai girls keep chanting.... they say the same thing to the 60 year old fat stinky german guy.

Edited May 8, 2009 by Sabum

[kaiwatnok]

According to my Thai cook, she thinks "dirty old man" if the man looks considerably older than the woman.

Sorry, but you did say you wanted a Thai woman's opinion, so I asked her.

NO NO NO,you lie...LOL They are thinking mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,i want him too!!I have never heard a Thai lady say bad things about an older farang/young girl couple,except in spite.Most are just jealous,and certainly feel they are "over the hill"as such.(I would like to clarify,i DON'T feel older woman are over the hill,or past it,and you can stop punching me now,honey..)

Hmmm..., as a Thai lady myself, I would like to say I've never been 'jealous' in the way that 'I want that FARANG too!' when seeing a couple (Farang and Thai girl, regardless of their age) hand in hand na kha. Trust me, not all Thai girls WANT 'farang' guys (Please don't be offended na kha

I don't know much about other group of girls, but as for me and my friends (we are around 25-30 years old), farang guys are just 'guys'. We may like you, or hate you, or simply just feel so-so about you, the same way we feel about Thai, or other Asian guys. You are not at all 'special' or 'preferable' or anything as such. Some girls even think they don't want to have farang boyfriends at all because they don't feel comfortable around them due to the cultural differences or different attitude towards things.

When seeing older farang man with younger Thai woman, some Thai people (I said 'people' na kha, not girls ) might look at them in a bad way because of the false belief and Thai social values (not jealousy). It is believed that normally around 80% of such couples are not because of love. Men may look for girls to hang out with, and girls may just see these men as 'walking ATM'. It maybe true, or maybe not, we don't know, but this is the way we look at this kind of couple. That's why sometimes you might feel people looking at you in a really bad way when you walk with a much younger Thai girl.

And oh, some of my friends also think of that older farang with young lady as 'dirty old man' na kha

No doubt, clearly seen that lots of Thai girls want to have farang boyfriends, but it's absolutely not like if you are Farang, we will run after you crying 'oh prince charming, please rescue us and take us to your castle!' na kha. As for me, I tend to build my own castle rather than asking a man who has the same age as my grandfather

Sorry na kha if I am rude or say things that might offend someone here. It's just that I am tired and sick of the idea that you guys keep saying Thai girls is chasing after Farang guys. It is insulting and hurting in many many ways....when you seriously come to think of it.

....intelligent and well written. as a Farang man (with thai gf of similar age to myself) i totally agree with all you said.

i actually don't like seeing mixed couples with large age differences.... statistically they are more than likely to be a sham. and i often feel sorry for both parties. i know of several thai girls who have older western bf's.....who they descibe as having " a good heart"...... but i then they all have thai gigs too, who are their own age. The thai man is for fun, the western man for security...

Equally i also know many thai girls who dont like farang men, and are in fact scared of them....

And then there are those would have had bad experiences with Thai men (and there seem to be many of these), so choose to seek farang men as they think it might be better...

And then there are the group who like the idea of the security, but never would, as they don't want the stigma of being seen with a westerner. .....

at the end of the day, it is hard to generalize......sweeping statements about "thai women", just imply that the writer has given little thought to his comments before making them.

[kaiwatnok]

First of all I'd like to apologize for posting on this topic as a male but I think a lot of guys out there need to hear this. I am 30 years old and I'm a "Falang" living in Bangkok (not quite sure why anymore but that's another story). I don't consider myself to be particularly good looking but it seems plenty of the local ladies here think I am (so they tell me) and I'm comfortable with that. I don't go to bars or clubs anymore (READ GUYS: your wasting your time and money there if you're looking for a nice girl in Thailand - not to say that every girl who goes to a bar or club is no good but this has been my general experience after living here over a year or so and dating quite a few girls. And I'm not talking about Nana, Cowboy, Patpong or any other of those shit holes - though I will admit I've been there a few times out of frustration and enjoyed the experience for what it is! ). What you want is an educated (but not hi-so - boring, snobby spoilt little drama queens), attractive girl (dresses nicely but not too revealing) who holds down a day job, doesn't rely on you for money, doesn't smoke and doesn't drink that much ( a bit is acceptable but if she drinks as much as you I'd be worried). If you don't have that, I would walk away from while you still can and get back in the real game! If you do have a girl like this her quality, charm and traditional values will show through and everybody will see it and the only looks you will be getting will be looks of jealousy - from Thais and Falangs - (assuming you're a decent bloke with a bit of class who looks respectable and not 3 times her age! - but then again you must be or you'd never pull a girl like this!). There are millions of these girls in Thailand but you have to look in the right places and put in a lot of effort (start by learning the language) if your going to stand any chance at all. The fact of the matter is - and no guys like to admit it - the vast majority of attractive, well-educated, without kids or ex-husbands who've abandoned them, Thai girls (the type you would proudly take home to meet your folks) are simply not interested in Falangs at all - and why would they be? most of the Falangs living over here (genuine expats excluded) are trash or at best have serious issues and absolutely nothing to offer!. If you think that just being a foreigner and having money makes you desirable to a respectable Thai girl you are seriously deluded! There are plenty of Thai guys with more money than you and plenty of Thai guys that are better looking than you. At best you're a bit of a novelty and this will only get you so far. If you want to be taken seriously you have to respect the customs and cultural norms ( the do's and dont's) and it's no good saying who gives a dam_n what anybody else thinks (in Thailand everybody gives a dam_n about what everybody else thinks - Asia is all about face!). It's so obvious when it's not the real deal!

Having said all that, I think the cultural differences are so great that even if you find a "keeper" it's going to be hard work.

I hope I haven't offended anyone here, that is certainly not my intention. Just a reality check!

okay....you are obviously learning, and much of what you say is true

.....but check back in a couple of years and read your post again. you will be surprised at yourself.

....in the next few years you will learn that everything is not so black and white. Thailand is shades of gray, infinite shades of gray, .......and so are the women.

even good, educated women, with good jobs....can be devious untrustworthy liars. and there are also girls who work in the "darkside", that are genuine,.......... just unlucky.

your advice is basically sound...but your studies are far from complete.

[JohnGotti]

she is 30 she looks 22

doubtful. post a photo if you want. to thai people she likely looks 30.

[bennylee]

I am 33 Male from Singapore (So, I do look like a Thai) and have this relationship with this girl who used to work in a bar in Bangkok. I go to Bangkok for work once in a while. I have been to many bars (mostly the local type, not the one one in Nana, Sukhumvit, ratchadapisek etc) and been with many thai girls before (meaning, paying them to accompany you). Each of them have different backgrounds but most of them are students, so they claimed. All of them are in for the money, but having different objectives. Some are in for the glamour (they drive nice cars and wear branded clothes/handbags) to work, things they can never afford to have working in a normal job. Some are in to pay their tuition fees. Some to support their family.

There are many thai girls who are not from main cities whom a lured to this easy money making opportunity. My GF is one of them. Many of these girls have an unfortunate family background (parents divorced leaving children to relatives, normally because of their father's fault). These girls who come from this background often think that Thai men are bad and with no parents to love and feed them, they become independent. My GF has two younger sisters. She used to work in a factory in Chonburi after high school but found out that it was not enough to pay for her sister's school fees, food etc etc and her grandma who looks after her sisters. So, she decided to go to Bangkok to try out as a Bar girl, her relative who works as a BG brought her in, and that's how I met her.

I always see her whenever I am in Bangkok, no more going after other girls. She is not that super-good-looking, but sweet (naruk) and petite. Whenever we meet, we talked a lot (her english is fairly ok, and may thai is getting a little better everyday) and our relationship grew deeper. whenever I see her, I offer her money, although she insist that I do not pay her because she treats me as her BF, but I told her that the money for her is not for her services but to help her with her burdens. At first i thought "Oh boy.... am I falling into becoming a victim of this "love your for your money only trap" because I have hear a lot of stories about this". After about a year working as a BG, my GF thinks that she can't do it anymore (I am not sure whether this is because of me) but she said she does not like doing it anymore and she got an offer to babysit a baby back home (with a huge pay cut), and in the meantime can take care of her grandmother and sister. She said that the money is good enough for her to pay her expenses. I am not sure whether to believe her story. I also offered to help her financially (not a lot, but just enough for the daily expenses of my GF and her three sisters.

She now lives in Lom Kao, Phetchabun since March. She can't come to Bangkok to see me if I am around because she is babysitting. We keep ourselves updated through SMS almost everyday. I told her that if I come to Bangkok, I am going to meet her in her home (which is a 6-hour bus ride from Bangkok). I wanted to see her reaction because I was wondering whether all the things she had said about her and her family were true, and by asking this question, I am not sure whether I will ever see her again, and also, by asking this question, she would think that I am serious. She replied happily. Now, we are really serious. So, I went to meet her (with so much anxiety - as if I am going there to "meet the parents") at her home in Lom Kao, staying in a hotel in Lom Sak for a few days. Whatever she told me is what I have expected. I too was happy.

However, I have another big challenge. I already have a long term relationship with this girl in Singapore, and now I have a long-distant relationship with this girl from Thailand. My Thai girl already knew about this relationship i have in Singapore, and she even said she does not need all my love, but just a little will keep her happy. So friends, watch out for this soap-opera, and I will try to update it once there is an episode worth telling. in the meantime, please feel free to give your opinions. Whatever I said here is true, you can meet me if you want when I am in Bangkok. But hey, I do need your advice. So, please feel free to message or PM me.

Well, I've gone off-topic but what I am trying to say is we cannot generalize Thai women from what we observe in the entertainment industry, which Thailand is famous for, especially if we are tourists who normally seeks entertainment in Thailand (this is a fact!). We judge them by what we see. But what I know is that generally most thai girls are humble and nice, something that we can not see in our world where we live, even in Singapore. My Thai girl somehow offers me a feeling that my girl in Singapore cannot offer, and please, it is not all about sex!. And what I know is that every girl have their own dreams - whether to live a high society lifestyle, or having just a simple loving family, which many of them are being deprived of.

So, please do not generalize or have any prejudice against any thai, especially the ladies. they may look at you differently but there is definitely a reason why they do so, especially if the couple is a farang/thai or old/young.... Sometimes it's just out of curiosity. It's like something that you cannot miss looking at. I am an Asian and whenever I see an odd couple (meaning couple with different races, old/young, gays etc), it will grab my attention, and of course I will ask questions like "what the hel_l is that attractive looking girl going out with an old man?" or "why is that girl so cheap"... or "how can this happen", or even "look at them....how lovely", or "<deleted>".... Odd things always get into our attention. Like if we men walk pass in front of a lady with big boobs that is being revealed in her sexy clothes, will we not, automatically stare at her breasts? So, what is in these lady minds? How the hel_l do I know, but what I know is that we (the odd ones) are the ones who forced them to look at us and they will have their thoughts, like the big breasted lady wanting out attention.

BTW... i have another encounter with this "what do Thai women think" during my trip to Lom Kao, Phetachabun. Will post it in another reply. Hope this reply does not make you sleepy. Cheers!