I Don't Know, I Not Think

[andyg75]

Hi everyone first post today,I first visited Thailand in 2007 and met my Thai girlfriend then, in 2008 I came 3 times throughout the year and stayed for 18 days each time, She is 38 by the way and works in hotel office in Samui. I have lots of questions to ask but will start with this one.

Is this usual for Thai women or just mine, nearly evertime I ask a question I get " I dont know I not think" this applies to if I ask her where she's eating that night,to last November when I came over for her birthday and she had arranged to go for a meal with me and work collegues and up 3 days before the meal when I asked where were we meeting I got the usual reply, in the end I said " for Christ sake you better hurry up and THINK or no one will know where to go for the meal" this did the trick and she picked a restaurant. It's like this all the time and gets on my nerves at times. So my question is, is this normal or just her being sooo laid back. Thanks in advance. Andy.

[patklang]

seems unusual to me,they normaly say

UP TO YOU

[Tywais]

It's like this all the time and gets on my nerves at times. So my question is, is this normal or just her being sooo laid back. Thanks in advance. Andy.

I would say pretty normal. Usually its "lao dtaa khun" or "up to you" though and it can be frustrating. If she is saying what you quoted in English she probably means the above. Used to annoy me when my wife does it but no longer an issue for me. You have to read between the lines.

[typhoon]

I find myself saying I don't know can't think alot these days, must of rubbed off.

[nomimusic]

Yes, "UP TO YOU" is definately the standard.

[Cobalt60]

Oh god it drives me mad. Bloody.... up to you......."What if I pick something you dont like" ? "I tell you"

[nomimusic]

Oh god it drives me mad. Bloody.... up to you......."What if I pick something you dont like" ? "I tell you"

I asked gf what she wanted to eat..... "up to you"...... dam_n, I ain't eatin' it. I know they are only trying to be humble, but it puts them at the mercy of someone else deciding for them...... So I order bacon, eggs and pancakes but she wanted Tom Yam...... and Tom Yam was cheaper......... Lose/lose.

[wotaplonker]

umm i met a quite wonderful lady in Bangkok in Nov 2007 and again in June 2008. (touch wood hoping to be with her later this year) She is now in Phuket working as a tour guide, i have found her to to be quite dynamic and positive in decision making, many times saying we go here, we go there etc taking me to places i would never have chosen myself and of course then enjoyed enormously, i must admit i do not like the overt submissiveness, basically the 'i do as you wish' aspect that i have encountered in many thai ladies.

[Cobalt60]

I did have a serious 'get to the bottom of this for once and all' discussion, basically it turns out that she wants to be led and told what to do, not decide for me or both of us. Tried to reason, but no point really.

[MrHammer]

Hi everyone first post today,I first visited Thailand in 2007 and met my Thai girlfriend then, in 2008 I came 3 times throughout the year and stayed for 18 days each time, She is 38 by the way and works in hotel office in Samui. I have lots of questions to ask but will start with this one.

Is this usual for Thai women or just mine, nearly evertime I ask a question I get " I dont know I not think" this applies to if I ask her where she's eating that night,to last November when I came over for her birthday and she had arranged to go for a meal with me and work collegues and up 3 days before the meal when I asked where were we meeting I got the usual reply, in the end I said " for Christ sake you better hurry up and THINK or no one will know where to go for the meal" this did the trick and she picked a restaurant. It's like this all the time and gets on my nerves at times. So my question is, is this normal or just her being sooo laid back. Thanks in advance. Andy.

Western women want to decide everything, thai women wont decide anything

Some people are never satisfied

[Fore Man]

Hi everyone first post today,I first visited Thailand in 2007 and met my Thai girlfriend then, in 2008 I came 3 times throughout the year and stayed for 18 days each time, She is 38 by the way and works in hotel office in Samui. I have lots of questions to ask but will start with this one.

Is this usual for Thai women or just mine, nearly evertime I ask a question I get " I dont know I not think" this applies to if I ask her where she's eating that night,to last November when I came over for her birthday and she had arranged to go for a meal with me and work collegues and up 3 days before the meal when I asked where were we meeting I got the usual reply, in the end I said " for Christ sake you better hurry up and THINK or no one will know where to go for the meal" this did the trick and she picked a restaurant. It's like this all the time and gets on my nerves at times. So my question is, is this normal or just her being sooo laid back. Thanks in advance. Andy.

Western women want to decide everything, thai women wont decide anything

Some people are never satisfied

Unless you happen to have a Thai wife who was reared to be independent and who also lived in the West for many years! Not every Thai girl is stamped from that submissive die.

[MrHammer]

Hi everyone first post today,I first visited Thailand in 2007 and met my Thai girlfriend then, in 2008 I came 3 times throughout the year and stayed for 18 days each time, She is 38 by the way and works in hotel office in Samui. I have lots of questions to ask but will start with this one.

Is this usual for Thai women or just mine, nearly evertime I ask a question I get " I dont know I not think" this applies to if I ask her where she's eating that night,to last November when I came over for her birthday and she had arranged to go for a meal with me and work collegues and up 3 days before the meal when I asked where were we meeting I got the usual reply, in the end I said " for Christ sake you better hurry up and THINK or no one will know where to go for the meal" this did the trick and she picked a restaurant. It's like this all the time and gets on my nerves at times. So my question is, is this normal or just her being sooo laid back. Thanks in advance. Andy.

Western women want to decide everything, thai women wont decide anything

Some people are never satisfied

Unless you happen to have a Thai wife who was reared to be independent and who also lived in the West for many years! Not every Thai girl is stamped from that submissive die.

You just described my ideal woman there (you could have added 'cute')!

[snuggzzz]

The Thai's are very artful, particularly the ladies, the phrase 'up to you' and the one's you mention are decidedly meant, infering that your decision is one that they decide how your particular 'game' goes on............

[wasabi]

Up to you but if you chose wrong I will silently sulk to show you my displeasure

[freitag1]

I would hate if my gf would do this. I spoke about this topic with her a few days ago because you can see people doing this everywhere and she told me that most people are too lazy to think.

[ballbreaker]

Up to you but if you chose wrong I will silently sulk to show you my displeasure

Or act like a 3 year old who's favorite toy was just taken away.

Or act like a teenager who has just been grounded for a week.

[Maigo6]

Up to you but if you chose wrong I will silently sulk to show you my displeasure

Or act like a 3 year old who's favorite toy was just taken away.

Or act like a teenager who has just been grounded for a week.

Or even she might go and post on an anonymous website and start moaning about how unfair life is.

Jeeez.... how old are you guys, 13 ?

Thai women this, Thai women that..... <deleted>, you are talking about the ONE Thai women you know, it's like saying Farangs are Fat obnoxious azzholes.

Sure, some are, but many are not.

[samuibeachcomber]

I like this topic open to much discussion.Yes not every thai girl utters "up to you",but in my experience most do.having lived here for 3 years now i find myself saying the same thing in reply to a question.........must be catching.

I think the thai ladies say this to save face incase they suggest something and they feel it turns out not to be a good decision.

Even if going out with mates for a drink,someone will say"where shall we meet up",i'l say up to you,not really meaning it,cos i know where i prefer to go,but that they might have other preferences.............must have been here too long!

In conclusion i like the "up to you" thing..........forces me to make the decision and take the consequences.

[samuibeachcomber]

come off it maigo6,we''re just talking about the reality of life with thai ladies which i happen to like and take with a pinch of salt...................beter than them western chicks.

[andyg75]

Thanks for all the replies,seems I'm not the only one with this problem. As for the UP TO YOU, thats a different story. The first time I came back to Samui to meet her I soon discovered she did'nt like the beach and when I finally talked her into sitting around the pool with me she wrapped herself up in the towel, I just looked at her and shook my head.So the next day I hired a car and after 2 days of UP TO YOU DARLING, at every suggestion I made,on the 3rd day after the usual reply I said NO its up to you today where we go or what we do,I said to her "you live here, you know the island there must be a special place you like to go or somewhere you've always wanted to go to" she thought for a bit then said Tesco's.What could I say, so I spent a loverly day looking at strange food and fruit and ended up in the knicker dept with her feeling all the padded bra's. I must say we had a good lunch there (Thai food). So now I put up with UP TO YOU DARLING>

[samuibeachcomber]

PS i'm 59 going on 21.

[Tywais]

Thanks for all the replies,seems I'm not the only one with this problem.

Your new topic has been now merged with your original one.

[samuibeachcomber]

Thanks for all the replies,seems I'm not the only one with this problem. As for the UP TO YOU, thats a different story. The first time I came back to Samui to meet her I soon discovered she did'nt like the beach and when I finally talked her into sitting around the pool with me she wrapped herself up in the towel, I just looked at her and shook my head.So the next day I hired a car and after 2 days of UP TO YOU DARLING, at every suggestion I made,on the 3rd day after the usual reply I said NO its up to you today where we go or what we do,I said to her "you live here, you know the island there must be a special place you like to go or somewhere you've always wanted to go to" she thought for a bit then said Tesco's.What could I say, so I spent a loverly day looking at strange food and fruit and ended up in the knicker dept with her feeling all the padded bra's. I must say we had a good lunch there (Thai food). So now I put up with UP TO YOU DARLING>

bad move andy,thats why "up to you 'is so good,it can steer you away from shopping with thai lady,cos invariable you will have to dig deep.in fact rule no.1 is never go shopping with thai lady!

[soundman]

You have to read between the lines.

^^^

Best advice in the world for dealing with Thai women, given free of charge on Thai Visa!

[samuibeachcomber]

soundman,i think i posted my replies and sent to wrong thread,meant to be for up to you thread,apologies.happy new year!

[soundman]

soundman,i think i posted my replies and sent to wrong thread,meant to be for up to you thread,apologies.happy new year!

Got me confused as well.

[Birdman]

Thanks for all the replies,seems I'm not the only one with this problem. As for the UP TO YOU, thats a different story. The first time I came back to Samui to meet her I soon discovered she did'nt like the beach and when I finally talked her into sitting around the pool with me she wrapped herself up in the towel, I just looked at her and shook my head.So the next day I hired a car and after 2 days of UP TO YOU DARLING, at every suggestion I made,on the 3rd day after the usual reply I said NO its up to you today where we go or what we do,I said to her "you live here, you know the island there must be a special place you like to go or somewhere you've always wanted to go to" she thought for a bit then said Tesco's.What could I say, so I spent a loverly day looking at strange food and fruit and ended up in the knicker dept with her feeling all the padded bra's. I must say we had a good lunch there (Thai food). So now I put up with UP TO YOU DARLING>

Nothing unusual. Most Thais do not like farang style beach life, they prefer air-conditioned department stores to nature. Before tourist came, the youngest son got the least valuable piece of land, which was next to a beach.

Also, she works on Samui, but most of the non local office girls would like to work in a big city, but circumstances keep them on Samui. They never go for a hike into the mountains or spent the afternoon on the beach or so. In their free time you will see them at Tesco, a fitness centre, some Thai restaurants or Korean BBQ or mostly in front a TV.

I have been trekking in Nepal. At a checkpoint there was a board, which showed the amount of the different nationalities which past by. There were a lot, it was a well known trek. Only one country has not even one passing by, which was Thailand.

[mrbojangles]

The first time I came back to Samui to meet her I soon discovered she did'nt like the beach and when I finally talked her into sitting around the pool with me she wrapped herself up in the towel,

Nothing unusual. Most Thais do not like farang style beach life,

Absolutely. My Mrs rarely comes to the Pool or Beach with me and when she does she's under an umbrella and wrapped up. I can't think of a single Thai who likes to get a sun tan, in fact, alot spend a fortune on whitening creams. One reason is, they don't want to appear to look as if they work on farms etc.

[LadyPenelope]

im not sure i understand this.

on one hand, western women are too demanding and bossy when they do make a decision.

and on the other hand, when us thai women leave it up to you, its not good enough.

just what DO men want?

[qwertz]

im not sure i understand this.

on one hand, western women are too demanding and bossy when they do make a decision.

and on the other hand, when us thai women leave it up to you, its not good enough.

just what DO men want?

Welcome to the board, LP.

As a man I can tell you what a man wants - you have to be his best friend, mother, sister and number 1 fan all at the same time as well

as being a great lover.

Happy New Year.

Edited January 2, 2009 by qwertz