designersing Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 A little background: I've been living in Thailand for a while, I work in Singapore, I'm married, my wife is Thai, educated and pretty cool. Everytime I've gone to her parents house, I have done my best to speak Thai, to be polite and respect them in every best way I can and know and accept this isnt an easy culture to understand however I treat others with the respect I wish to be treated, this is the way I have been brought up. It started a while back at the family home, words said to me indirectly, such as farang kii nok, and others which I don't know as they have a countryside accent and I cant understand. I used to smile and brush them off, maybe its said in jest? However nowadays I have given all excuses possible not to go the parents home, they make me feel uncomfortable and the wife is always nagging at me to go with her. Maybe its inside my mind and I shouldnt be bothered with silly name calling, or perhaps its racism or perhaps they just don't like me, either way I'd like to know what you guys think.....any experiences with this? Thanks in adv! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maigo6 Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 perhaps they just don't like me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
designersing Posted January 17, 2009 Author Share Posted January 17, 2009 perhaps they just don't like me lol Maigo, come on give me a break, I can take a joke, I'd just like to know if others have had similar experiences? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
designersing Posted January 17, 2009 Author Share Posted January 17, 2009 (edited) perhaps they just don't like me lol Maigo, come on give me a break, I can take a joke, I'd just like to know if others have had similar experiences? Maybe I'm a little sensitive! Edited January 17, 2009 by designersing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naam Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 perhaps they just don't like me lol Maigo, come on give me a break, I can take a joke, I'd just like to know if others have had similar experiences? check out this website and relax: http://reallifethailand.blogspot.com/2007/...ng-kii-nok.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
designersing Posted January 17, 2009 Author Share Posted January 17, 2009 Naam, thanks for the link, I'm not really sure what to make of it, but perhaps It makes a little more sense to me so thank you I appreciate it. The best thing for me would be to study thai to a level in which I can question these things, which isnt going to happen, so therefore perhaps a mai bpen rai would be more suitable, as for my wife, I love her so much, they can call me whatever they may wish. Sticks and stones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billd766 Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 I am also married with a 4 1/2 year old son. However my wife is not that well educated through no fault of her own or her family. When we go to Bangkok (her family home) I don't stay there and neither does she. However her mother lives with us while her Dad lives down in Bangkok with the rest of the family. They are always welcome to stay with us up country and do regularly. They speak no English and my Thai is not the best but to my knowledge they have not really insulted me even in jest and we do get along very well within and the language barrier. I am trying to learn Thai but I am working offshore for 6 months at a time and 3 weeks at home. When I was not working and lived at home the family used to stay for 2 or 3 weeks at a time and we had no problems. I have helped them out and indeed still do as her Dad is 73 and her Mum is 64. There were several times when I was out of work and down on finance when they helped us out so I guess I am lucky with my wifes family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BygonKeaw Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 (edited) I stopped at some traffic lights in bkk, opened the window and bought some of those nuts for 20 baht. my missus laughed and said "farang kee nok" lights went green and about 100m down the road i opened the window and threw them out, childish yes but i took it as a insult and im 100% sure my missus didnt think i knew what it translated to. Farang kee nok is a insult. Edited because i forgot to say my missus is well educated and thai/chinese. The car i was driving was a brand new merc bought as a gift from her papa. Edited January 17, 2009 by BygonKeaw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabum Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 Nice me says: Have you tried talking about this with your wife and explain to her that you are more and more reluctant to visit her family because they insult you and make you feel bad? Bad me says: Grow some freaking ba11s and stop letting them walk all over you and treat you badly, have some bloody boundaries, stand up for yourself and if they are rude or insulting simply walk out the door and dont go back but letting it clearly be known why you arent going back, thats what I have done. You need to have some self respect and expect those you associate with to treat you with the same respect, otherwise disassociate yourself from them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary A Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 Normally my wifes visits her parents while I stay home. On the rare occasions when I do go, they are quite respectful and polite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimmyTheMook Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 It started a while back at the family home, words said to me indirectly, such as farang kii nok, and others which I don't know as they have a countryside accent and I cant understand. Do they ask you for money ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
designersing Posted January 17, 2009 Author Share Posted January 17, 2009 Nice me says: Have you tried talking about this with your wife and explain to her that you are more and more reluctant to visit her family because they insult you and make you feel bad?Bad me says: Grow some freaking ba11s and stop letting them walk all over you and treat you badly, have some bloody boundaries, stand up for yourself and if they are rude or insulting simply walk out the door and dont go back but letting it clearly be known why you arent going back, thats what I have done. You need to have some self respect and expect those you associate with to treat you with the same respect, otherwise disassociate yourself from them. I cannot and will not say anymore, as I think, Sabum, you've nailed it on the head with extreme accuracy. Sometimes trying to understand another culture and xenophobia is quite easy. Thats all it is..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robblok Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 I think its hard to see if its a joke or not if you dont know the context or the ppl who say it you real well. My wife calls me kwai at times and i call her kwai back. Its a huge insult if you sai it to someone but between me and my wife its ok because we use it in a teasing way. My wife is still young 26 and if hear her curse with her friends its real rude and they really dont have problems with it. But she warned me not to use it with others because i could get into trouble. My Thai is now good enough to understand if someone wants to insult you or tease you. So its hard to figure out if you dont speak the language well enough. I still dont speak it well but good enough to pick up on things like this. Once you learn to speak a few languages you will see that even insults arent always insults and if you just translate one word and the rest not you might take it totally out of context. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
designersing Posted January 17, 2009 Author Share Posted January 17, 2009 It started a while back at the family home, words said to me indirectly, such as farang kii nok, and others which I don't know as they have a countryside accent and I cant understand. Do they ask you for money ? Jimmy, did I mention money? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdman Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 It started a while back at the family home, words said to me indirectly, such as farang kii nok, and others which I don't know as they have a countryside accent and I cant understand. Do they ask you for money ? Jimmy, did I mention money? Her family did - direct or indirect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TAWP Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 I stopped at some traffic lights in bkk, opened the window and bought some of those nuts for 20 baht. my missus laughed and said "farang kee nok" lights went green and about 100m down the road i opened the window and threw them out, childish yes but i took it as a insult and im 100% sure my missus didnt think i knew what it translated to.Farang kee nok is a insult. Edited because i forgot to say my missus is well educated and thai/chinese. The car i was driving was a brand new merc bought as a gift from her papa. You seem like a stable chap...if your wife is indeed well educated I'm sure you could have a conversation with her in English and asked her what she meant and you might have learned a thing or two...made you well educated too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 Naam, thanks for the link, I'm not really sure what to make of it, but perhaps It makes a little more sense to me so thank you I appreciate it. The best thing for me would be to study thai to a level in which I can question these things, which isnt going to happen, so therefore perhaps a mai bpen rai would be more suitable, as for my wife, I love her so much, they can call me whatever they may wish. Sticks and stones. Clearly from the above, you are thoughtful, care for your wife. Therefore would not really wish to go down the huffy ultimatum route, greating difficulty and conflict for your wife. My advice is try to turn it around, use humour rather than confrontation. Start calling yourself 'farang kee nok'.....perhaps the family and your wife will start wondering where you are picking this phrase up!!! perhaps then start calling yourself stupid farang.....just under your breath so your wife can hear it.....perhaps then she may wonder where you are picking this up from!!! In short try not to take yourself too seriously, Just my slant on things.....works for me!!! Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qualtrough Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 (edited) I stopped at some traffic lights in bkk, opened the window and bought some of those nuts for 20 baht. my missus laughed and said "farang kee nok" lights went green and about 100m down the road i opened the window and threw them out, childish yes but i took it as a insult and im 100% sure my missus didnt think i knew what it translated to.Farang kee nok is a insult. Edited because i forgot to say my missus is well educated and thai/chinese. The car i was driving was a brand new merc bought as a gift from her papa. Sounds like a match made in heaven. Bet she said Farang Jai Ron (ฝรั่งใจรอ้น) under her breath when you were through with your temper tantrum. Edited January 17, 2009 by qualtrough Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
designersing Posted January 17, 2009 Author Share Posted January 17, 2009 It started a while back at the family home, words said to me indirectly, such as farang kii nok, and others which I don't know as they have a countryside accent and I cant understand. Do they ask you for money ? Jimmy, did I mention money? Her family did - direct or indirect. explain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robblok Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 It started a while back at the family home, words said to me indirectly, such as farang kii nok, and others which I don't know as they have a countryside accent and I cant understand. Do they ask you for money ? Jimmy, did I mention money? Her family did - direct or indirect. explain Kinkok can mean that you are cheap.. dont like to spend money or that you dont have it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
designersing Posted January 17, 2009 Author Share Posted January 17, 2009 I have been proven time and time again that Thai people are racist are towards anyone they feel alien to themselves, live here and you will know, I was asking for experiences, please feel free to say what you really mean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
designersing Posted January 17, 2009 Author Share Posted January 17, 2009 It started a while back at the family home, words said to me indirectly, such as farang kii nok, and others which I don't know as they have a countryside accent and I cant understand. Do they ask you for money ? Jimmy, did I mention money? Her family did - direct or indirect. explain Kinkok can mean that you are cheap.. dont like to spend money or that you dont have it. funny thing that, coming from people without, I'm guessing its a kind of social status they are refering to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robblok Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 I have been proven time and time again that Thai people are racist are towards anyone they feel alien to themselves, live here and you will know, I was asking for experiences, please feel free to say what you really mean. I dont really agree i met good and bad Thai's just as i have good and bad ppl from every other country. I do believe Thai are more racist but not that much. Most friendly ppl i find are Thais who are fishing. Always ready to help and chit chat with you . The worst kind are the Thais in the tourist area who only look for money. I think what kind of thai you find depends on where you go and how you act yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
designersing Posted January 17, 2009 Author Share Posted January 17, 2009 (edited) thanks for all the responses, I was right in the first instance, the moral of the story is, understand what is being said behind your back, money related or not..Thai people are not what they seem. Enjoy it and be aware of what people say and do, they smile for a reason....they can be racist, or do whatever they wish, as hey, your here as a 'guest', what can YOU do, nothing. Edited January 17, 2009 by designersing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdman Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 It started a while back at the family home, words said to me indirectly, such as farang kii nok, and others which I don't know as they have a countryside accent and I cant understand. Do they ask you for money ? Jimmy, did I mention money? Her family did - direct or indirect. explain Khii Nok is an impolite expression and means "stingy farang". They expect you to pay more for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
designersing Posted January 17, 2009 Author Share Posted January 17, 2009 I have been proven time and time again that Thai people are racist are towards anyone they feel alien to themselves, live here and you will know, I was asking for experiences, please feel free to say what you really mean. . The worst kind are the Thais in the tourist area who only look for money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 I usually get ignored--which is fine with me. I enjoy sleeping in the hammock strung between two mango trees. I get woken up to eat. I read the paper. If I need anything they run off to get it. Otherwise they ignore me. It's quite pleasant! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrHammer Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 A little background: I've been living in Thailand for a while, I work in Singapore, I'm married, my wife is Thai, educated and pretty cool. Everytime I've gone to her parents house, I have done my best to speak Thai, to be polite and respect them in every best way I can and know and accept this isnt an easy culture to understand however I treat others with the respect I wish to be treated, this is the way I have been brought up. It started a while back at the family home, words said to me indirectly, such as farang kii nok, and others which I don't know as they have a countryside accent and I cant understand. I used to smile and brush them off, maybe its said in jest? However nowadays I have given all excuses possible not to go the parents home, they make me feel uncomfortable and the wife is always nagging at me to go with her. Maybe its inside my mind and I shouldnt be bothered with silly name calling, or perhaps its racism or perhaps they just don't like me, either way I'd like to know what you guys think.....any experiences with this? Thanks in adv! Without knowing you, they probable feel inferior to you if they are simple folks, its normal. But I have learned, you only get the respect you demand, so let it be known you dont like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robblok Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 I have been proven time and time again that Thai people are racist are towards anyone they feel alien to themselves, live here and you will know, I was asking for experiences, please feel free to say what you really mean. . The worst kind are the Thais in the tourist area who only look for money. Thanks for ripping my post out of context Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
designersing Posted January 17, 2009 Author Share Posted January 17, 2009 A little background: I've been living in Thailand for a while, I work in Singapore, I'm married, my wife is Thai, educated and pretty cool. Everytime I've gone to her parents house, I have done my best to speak Thai, to be polite and respect them in every best way I can and know and accept this isnt an easy culture to understand however I treat others with the respect I wish to be treated, this is the way I have been brought up. It started a while back at the family home, words said to me indirectly, such as farang kii nok, and others which I don't know as they have a countryside accent and I cant understand. I used to smile and brush them off, maybe its said in jest? However nowadays I have given all excuses possible not to go the parents home, they make me feel uncomfortable and the wife is always nagging at me to go with her. Maybe its inside my mind and I shouldnt be bothered with silly name calling, or perhaps its racism or perhaps they just don't like me, either way I'd like to know what you guys think.....any experiences with this? Thanks in adv! Without knowing you, they probable feel inferior to you if they are simple folks, its normal. But I have learned, you only get the respect you demand, so let it be known you dont like it. I've let it be known that I dont like it, and I feel like I have just lost, even explaining this to my wife, oh well, I guess she can't understand it fully, I just wish she'd understand I don't understand why people should feel the need to put people down. I never did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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