You know you've been in Thailand too long when:

[george]

You know you've been in Thailand too long when:

You think it’s normal to have a beer at 9:00 a.m.

You begin to enjoy Thai TV programs.

You look four ways before crossing a one way street.

You realize that ALL your problems are caused by Thai girls or cranky ATMs.

You put salt and chilli on your fruit

A Thai cop stops you for a minor infraction and you automatically reach for your wallet.

You think that a Honda Civic is a prestigious car.

All your tee-shirts are emblazoned with the name of some bar.

You can’t remember the last time you wore a suit and tie.

You think a polo shirt and jeans are formal attire.

Someone tells you that watching Thai politics is like watching two chameleons making love and you understand the analogy.

You aren’t upset when the bar girl next to you eats beetles as a snack.

Later the same night, you actually kiss the bar girl who earlier dined on the beetles.

You haven’t had a solid stool for five years.

You wake up in the morning and realize that you have nowhere to go and all day to get there.

You think white wine goes well with Som Tam.

You understand when your Thai wife says, ‘My friend you’ or ‘Same, same, but different.’

A Thai bar girl you’ve just met tells you that her mother is deathly ill and you just laugh and walk away.

You realize that your Thai wife’s loyalties belong to

1. Her parents.

2. Her brats from a previous marriage to a Thai scoundrel who deserted her.

3. Any remaining blood relatives.

4. The family buffalo.

5. The family’s goldfish.

6. You.

The Thai Navy buys a new submarine and you’re not surprised when the first thing they do is remove the mufflers and hang a garland from the rear view mirror.

You consider you mobile phone a fashion accessory.

You start wearing slippers everywhere

You start driving cars barefeet

You no longer enjoy Songkran. Instead, you stay home with a stack of videotapes.

You become an expert on buying and selling gold jewellery

Dogs become animals you'd rather kick than pet.

When driving a car you'll start using every free inch of the road.

You flash your 4 indicator lights when driving straight on at an intersection.

It’s two days before payday, so you only go to bars with balloons strung outside.

You realize that all the important words in Thai begin with the letter ‘S’. Sanuk (Fun), Saduak (convenient), Sabai (comfortable), Suay pretty).

You believe that buying a gold chain is an acceptable courtship ritual, or at least a form of foreplay.

You think a calendar more useful than a watch.

You go to a Thai Boxing match and a soccer game breaks out.

You stand in the shadow of a telephone pole while waiting for a bus.

[Axel]

George.   Greeeeaaat!

A lot of them are new to me, to most of them I feel offended.

I mean a beer at 9:00 am, WHY SO LATE?

Mind if I pass them on to a couple of friends, just to make them recognize themselves?

[Butterfly]

Holly cow !! that sounds just like me  

[chonabot]

You know youve ben in Thailand too long when---

You bang your head and let out a strange grunt ( uh! ) instead of saying " Ouch! "

You see another Westerner in Isaan and say to yourself

" Farang!"

[Spellbound]

Oh dear I must have been here to long !!!!!!!

I carry bus fare in my ear and carry a little poodle around the supermarket. Not

[TizMe]

You know youve ben in Thailand too long when---

You know that you are a " Farang!" and not a " Falang!"

[Spellbound]

But I did Piss in the front garden yeaterday, Oh shit i must becoming Thai.

[Skyview]

Hehe....I haven't been to Thailand for that long, but still sounds familiar in some cases.

[wolf5370]

You know you've been in Thailand too long when:

...You stand on the toilet seat of western loos.

...You put your coat on as soon as the temperature hits the low 80's.

...You suddenly find you like the smell of durian.

...You dilute your whisky with so much water it becomes clear.

...You put ice in your larger (beer).

...You find you have an irrational fear of going to the fridge at night in your 4th floor condo incase you slip 30 feet through the French doors and over the balcony.

etc...

[muay_thai]

You know you've been in Thailand too long when:

You realize that ALL your problems are caused by Thai girls or cranky ATMs.

I thought it was thai custom to only allow thai girls to use your ATM ???  

[markt]

You know you've been in Thailand too long when....

Indian tailors ignore you when you walk past their shop.

[markt]

You know you've been in Thailand too long when....

You speak pigeon English to other farangs.

[chonabot]

What you speak me before?

[singa-traz]

speak play, speak play na ...

[Rambutan]

You stand in the shadow of a telephone pole while waiting for a bus.

Lol, I've done that!

 :laugh:

[meow_mee]

Shouldn't it be "You know you've been slumming in Thailand too long when..."?

[markt]

Shouldn't it be "You know you've been slumming in Thailand too long when..."?

Hey, come on. Have you ever been to George's  place?

[chonabot]

Shouldn't it be "You know you've been slumming in Thailand too long when..."?

How about you start a new thread ? " You know you've been living in a tower of ivory too long when ? "

a) You keep posting in the wrong forum.

You argue with every ones opinion.

c) You think people are interested in yours.

all hypothetical of course.

???

[wolf5370]

You stand in the shadow of a telephone pole while waiting for a bus.

Yeah, watching school girls waiting for a bus in a line ten deep in the penumbra of a telephone pole. If the bus takes long enough they slowly walk around the pole - kind of a human sun dial.  

[Roger13]

I have been here only 5 years

but recognise & had a good giggle at George's list

Except:

"It’s two days before payday, so you only go to bars with balloons strung outside."

Maybe I haven't been here long enough yet

cos I don't understand that one ...

Anyone care to Educate me?

Roger

[chonabot]

He He , in the beer bars, if it's a girls birthday they will have baloons and such outside. You can usually get some free food at these events. Obviously Roger drinks in higher circles than some of us

[plachon]

You know you've been in T'land to long, when:

- You wear your crash helmet back to front and perched on top of your head

- You get your wife, 3 kids, pooch in the front basket and laundry on your moped and then do a Uey to go back and pick up mae-yai as well

- You wear your helmet as far as the intersection with the cop, then take it off as soon as he's outta sight

- You feel the moped is not prestigious enough and move straight up to a Honda SUV, by mortgaging your measly one rai of land and eating to eating nothing more extravagent than kwi-tiaow.

- You throw your Thai pooch over a temple wall and go down to Chatuchak and get a pedigree St Bernard.

You realise you can't afford to buy petrol for theSUV, feed both the St Bernard and your wife, so one of them has to go. Tricky choice, but hey, her phone calls were getting expensive.......................

[markt]

I have been here only 5 years

but recognise & had a good giggle at George's list

Except:

"It’s two days before payday, so you only go to bars with balloons strung outside."

Maybe I haven't been here long enough yet

cos I don't understand that one ...

Anyone care to Educate me?

Roger

Roger,  there was this farang who lived in Pattaya some years back.   He was a well known "balloon chaser".  He would go to bars that had balloons hung outside knowing full well that there was a party there, and free food.  He would always stand up, never sit, so he could hold the paper plate with one hand and eat with the other.

When a girl would ask him what he would like to drink,  he would reply...."How can i possibly hold a glass and eat at the same time?"    

Once he had finished he would leave, not buying anything.

I believe several bars banned him.  

[jayenram]

You know you've been in T'land to long, when:

- You wear your crash helmet back to front and perched on top of your head

- You get your wife, 3 kids, pooch in the front basket and laundry on your moped and then do a Uey to go back and pick up mae-yai as well

- You wear your helmet as far as the intersection with the cop, then take it off as soon as he's outta sight

Plachon:

You are obviously living/staying in Issarn because that is *so* spot on!

[Thetyim]

You know you've been in T'land to long, when:

You start charging Falangs double

[GlenTuk]

You know you've been in T'land to long, when:

- You wear your crash helmet back to front and perched on top of your head

- You get your wife, 3 kids, pooch in the front basket and laundry on your moped and then do a Uey to go back and pick up mae-yai as well

- You wear your helmet as far as the intersection with the cop, then take it off as soon as he's outta sight

Plachon:

You are obviously living/staying in Issarn because that is *so* spot on!

Talking of Issan... You look forward to the day when that pickup arrives enabling you to exchange a manky flea bitten old mutt who howls all night for nice brand new, well behaved & quiet plastic bucket !!!       ???

Still can't work that one out ...  

[plachon]

You know you've been in Isaan too long:

- When you stop off at the restaurants in Sakhon Nakhon and end up eating your swap.

- When you actually get to enjoy the taste of Rover (or is it Lover) stew and sun-dried Fido strips.

[Thetyim]

Talking of Issan... You look forward to the day when that pickup arrives enabling you to exchange a manky flea bitten old mutt who howls all night for nice brand new, well behaved & quiet plastic bucket !!!       ???

Still can't work that one out

OK Glen. Let me explain.

Isaan is famous for eating dogs.

When the dog  van comes around you give your dog away and in exchange you get a plastic bucket.

[Thetyim]

You know you've been in T'land to long, when:

You sit down to relax with a cold beer.

You put ice in you glass and, ignoring the peanuts, you pop a fried insect in your mouth.

[Butterfly]

- When you don't mind that your Thai girlfriend has a few short time on week-ends

- When your Thai girlfriend pay everything for you with her short time money

(I actually know 2 or 3 guys like this in Bangkok, shame on them)