Great answer Sibey!

Gives me confidence.....

And yes Eek, it is like prostituting yerself, only without the sex thinghy.

type-o, a, b, positive, negative....who cares ?

It's a bit late, I'll get back to you on this.

"ON the game" is slang for prostituting oneself sibey. Just clarifying that. Was playing with the words, not being pedantic. Not sure if that came across clear.

"playing with the words"...yes, me too.

Dear Sibey,

I need your advice!

I am devastated, I feel like a prostitute, gang raped without pay.

Last night I went out to the 7 to get me some food and drinks.

And on the way, there she was, the Afro delicious black girl talking on the phone.

The girl I was secretly in love with, but when I was in hearing distance of her phone conversation I almost had to puke.

She is from the UK, and speaks with this cockney accent.

What I catch is her saying: This girl is a complete idiot, we do not want her to work for the company.

She ignored me even though I said hello, she was too busy on the phone.

I am down Sibey, what I need to do?

Just forget about her or what?

Alex

Dear Sibey,

I need your advice!

I am devastated, I feel like a prostitute, gang raped without pay.

Last night I went out to the 7 to get me some food and drinks.

And on the way, there she was, the Afro delicious black girl talking on the phone.

The girl I was secretly in love with, but when I was in hearing distance of her phone conversation I almost had to puke.

She is from the UK, and speaks with this cockney accent.

What I catch is her saying: This girl is a complete idiot, we do not want her to work for the company.

She ignored me even though I said hello, she was too busy on the phone.

I am down Sibey, what I need to do?

Just forget about her or what?

Alex

Dear AlexLah,

I am devastated, I feel like a prostitute, gang raped without pay.

Have you been spending time in Pattaya recently ?

Simple case of wrong place, wrong time. She was too preoccupied to take notice of your charms.

As for the Cockney accent, you'll get used to it but the rhyming slang might be a bother unless you're antipodean.

Given the quoted context of the conversation thus engaged you may curry favour (she is from the UK) with her by presenting a number of suitable job candidates to her grovelling at her feet in subservience and begging for acceptance.

These African women are tough. She's just setting the benchmark for you and expecting you to measure up to the mark. Are you man enough ?

Ultimately it's a question of hormones. Yours or hers. Lets hope they're not both testosterone.

Sibey.

Dear Sibey,

It is half time in Perth, the Wallabys are being given a drubbing by the Springboks.

HELP, wot can they do to win.

Dear Sibey,

It is half time in Perth, the Wallabys are being given a drubbing by the Springboks.

HELP, wot can they do to win.

Hmmmm, looks like the 'Boks are already well set up for a win. Probably don't need to do any more.

Maybe some advice from Ponting....then again, maybe not.

She smiled at me Dear Sibey.

I was in the pool, and she looked at my body.

She kept looking and smiled.

She looked at me!

And she smiled!

Me confused.

Alex

She smiled at me Dear Sibey.

I was in the pool, and she looked at my body.

She kept looking and smiled.

She looked at me!

And she smiled!

Me confused.

Alex

hmmm... was the water quite cold? that could explain her smile.

Dear Sibey

I've been invited to a gathering of people who say they're my friends but I've discovered that they have secret initiation ceremonies (called Moots) where they do strange things with gaffer tape, toenail clippings and baked beans. Should I go? I've never been gaffered before

Dear Sibey

I've been invited to a gathering of people who say they're my friends but I've discovered that they have secret initiation ceremonies (called Moots) where they do strange things with gaffer tape, toenail clippings and baked beans. Should I go? I've never been gaffered before

Dear endure,

Since there's no mention of gerbils, ferrets, squirrels or other little cute furry animals along with the gaffer tape so the question of whether you attend or not is moot.

Sibey

She smiled at me Dear Sibey.

I was in the pool, and she looked at my body.

She kept looking and smiled.

She looked at me!

And she smiled!

Me confused.

Alex

Dear Alex,

I realise that for some life's experiences are on the harder edge of living where a smile may seem too gratuitous an emotion to be bandied about willy nilly in public. If you find it truly unsettling then just imagine she was squinting into the sun instead, or she was trying to dislodge a piece of food stuck in her teeth.

If indeed she has taken to smiling at you at least you'll be able to easily spot her in the dark.

Sibey

Dear Sibey...

I never thought this would happen to me and it was the 1st time......oops wrong forum.

I have been tasked with teaching the girls in the office english. They are all young and pretty and have all started calling me teacher and have all become very friendly.

Help!!! what do I do???!!!!

I know nothing about teaching english. What the heck is a past participle????!!!

signed..

Alone & Afraid.....

Dear Sibey,

I got wolf-whistled at by a bunch of western guys whilst walking to the shop today.

Im not Thai.

Thus..must they be insane?

Signed..

White western woman.

Dear Sibey,

I got wolf-whistled at by a bunch of western guys whilst walking to the shop today.

Im not Thai.

Thus..must they be insane?

Signed..

White western woman.

Dear Eek,

not wanting to diminish the attractiveness of your womanly charms in any way but....

they were probably a bunch of construction workers on holiday who couldn't resist the well known compulsion this vocation has for the wolf whistle. If the wolf whistles were accompanied by loud shouts of "Show us yer tits" or spotaneous "mooning" this is almost a certainty.

Probably good that they had the opportunity to keep their skills current as on the job retraining on their return would doubtlessly result in a loss of productivity at the site.

Sibey.

Dear Sibey...

I never thought this would happen to me and it was the 1st time......oops wrong forum.

I have been tasked with teaching the girls in the office english. They are all young and pretty and have all started calling me teacher and have all become very friendly.

Help!!! what do I do???!!!!

I know nothing about teaching english. What the heck is a past participle????!!!

signed..

Alone & Afraid.....

Dear Alone & Afraid,

it could be worse....you might have been asked to teach them french.

Sibey.

ps. a "past participle" is what a young and pretty lady becomes when you've taught her all she needs to know and she is no longer a devoted disciple.

Dear Sibey,

My problem is one with which you are no doubt familiar:

I often come on to Thaivisa with the expectation of posting utter <deleted>.

I am however, increasingly being trumped by other users who've managed to post utter tripe before me.

As a result, I leave the site feeling dejected, overruled and spent, without having up my post count by even 1 or 2 posts of rubbish.

Instead, my post count (once upon a time I was eighth most prolific; I daren't look now, as I doubt i'm even in the top 20.) has declined, and I go back downstairs to the Bar, and drink the hours away, with small minded, un-travelled, un-exciting, politically-correct, healthy-and-safe, designated drivers.

Is there any hope for me Sibey?

Yours,

Dejected recessive Poster.

Dear Kayo,

Sorry to hear of your diminishing prowess in TV. Let's pray it doesn't manifest itself in other areas of your life.

I do believe you have hinted at the solution to your problem in your post already. Let me elaborate.

Instead of firstly visiting TV, becoming dejected by the effort needed to match the high quality of bullshit being posted, then going to the bar to drink the hours away in a sullen mood, try this. Go to the bar first (I assume your drinking prowess has not suffered). After drinking hours away then visit TV. This will have several effects beneficial to your problem.

1. all those posts which you previously considered such artful pieces of rubbish will now seem quite sensible, logical and factual to the point where they seem like revelations of wisdom about life, the universe and everything leaving you with an open canvas to post real complete rubbish and <deleted>.

2. after drinking hours away at the pub first and then visiting TV you will find posting complete <deleted>, rubbish and bullshit comes naturally. In fact, even if your posts are unintelligible they will still seem perfect to you giving you that personal satisfaction which you so desire.

I'm told these strategies are effective for other posters in Bedlam so I'm sure they'll work for you too. If, after a few weeks using this strategy, you haven't recovered your lost form I'll do my best to put you in touch with a certain cat lover in Switzerland who seems to have mastered the technique.

I'll be looking up your posts to check on your progress and expect to see some complete and utter garbage from you in the near future. Good luck.

Best wishes,

Sibey.

Thank you Sensei.

I will now go and drink.

See you in a couple of hours...

*Some 4 and a 1/2 months later....*

I think I might be back. It's obvious the board has been suffering under my absence.

All quality tripe has been discarded in favour of absolute tripe and it is apparent now that my prowess is required to re-align all those doubter out there....

hehehehehe.... What I really love, is some - not many - but some will actually think I'm a pr1ck for saying <deleted> like that. <deleted>. Such is the way of the ol' codger, innit/

Gosh darn it sibey... I think it works!

Dear Sibey,

I got wolf-whistled at by a bunch of western guys whilst walking to the shop today.

Im not Thai.

Thus..must they be insane?

Signed..

White western woman.

Dear Eek,

not wanting to diminish the attractiveness of your womanly charms in any way but....

they were probably a bunch of construction workers on holiday who couldn't resist the well known compulsion this vocation has for the wolf whistle. If the wolf whistles were accompanied by loud shouts of "Show us yer tits" or spotaneous "mooning" this is almost a certainty.

Probably good that they had the opportunity to keep their skills current as on the job retraining on their return would doubtlessly result in a loss of productivity at the site.

Sibey.

i was busy elsewhere

Hi Sib,

I know I know it is about a girl again. Was at lotus waiting for my turn to put my stuff on the belt. A Gothic girl was in front of me and she looked at me with that look you know. She winked at me and helped me take out my stuff while looking and winking at me.

I like those Gothic girls.

What should I do or have been done, I am so confused.

Hi Sib,

I know I know it is about a girl again. Was at lotus waiting for my turn to put my stuff on the belt. A Gothic girl was in front of me and she looked at me with that look you know. She winked at me and helped me take out my stuff while looking and winking at me.

I like those Gothic girls.

What should I do or have been done, I am so confused.

Do you mean a Goth?

Dead white skin, black meke-up, a safety pin though her eyebrow??

You should run, my boy. RUN!

I think I will take that advice, just found out from the web that a lot of them think they are vampires....

Scary stuff indeed.

Is she a Visigoth or an Ostrogoth?

Or golly goth. Thee might have a lithp

Did you know that Heck Is Where People Go Who Don't Believe In Gosh?

Did you know that Heck Is Where People Go Who Don't Believe In Gosh?

Hi Sib,

I know I know it is about a girl again. Was at lotus waiting for my turn to put my stuff on the belt. A Gothic girl was in front of me and she looked at me with that look you know. She winked at me and helped me take out my stuff while looking and winking at me.

I like those Gothic girls.

What should I do or have been done, I am so confused.

Dear AlexLah,

you do seem to have quite a way with women and the colour black always features prominently.

Anyway, if she looked anything like this....

you may want to reconsider.

BTW...are you a blood donor ?

-Sibey

Have always been a blood donor but not sure where to go in Thailand. Well the lady in the picture looks a bit similar only the hair was not that high and less "Meat" on the chest so to speak. Anyway I don't think I will ever see her again, so stupid of me, should have given her my bizz card or something. On the other hand that might turn her into a gold digger when reading my job title, choices choices. Yes black I dunno what it is, maybe a secret signal that I will understand at some point in life. Anyway all thanks for the hearth warming replies, it is very much appreciated.

Is that Dracula in your avatar ?

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

it's Neo.

Dear Sibey

Why is it always Alexlah asking for advice and nobody else? Do you think he needs the most help or is he just winding you up?

signed

Alexlah fanclub

Dear Sibey

Why is it always Alexlah asking for advice and nobody else? Do you think he needs the most help or is he just winding you up?

signed

Alexlah fanclub

sbk,

I think it's just that Alex isn't as shy and inhibited as the rest of us.

-Sibey