Dear Sibey,

Do you agree with confucious, man who goes to bed with itchy bum wakes up with smelly finger?

dear Sibey,

next month my wife does not celebrate her 60th ahmm... secretieth burfday. inspite of this fact she refuses to approve my plan exchanging her for three 20year old ladies. would you agree with me that she is unreasonable?

p.s. in case you agree please keep the location where you dwell secret².

Dear All,

heartening it is to see the sudden surge of interest in this thread, but I must say it has me wondering.

Is it simply a slow news day, did all your partners suddenly develop headaches and morning sickness ? Or is it something far more serious....that as predicted, the latent cumulative effects of the recent and recurring crisis in Thailand is indeed reaching it's insidious tentacles into every aspect of life in LOS infecting our every day lives with unsolvable problems and inevitably leading to the complete and total breakdown of life to absolute and utter chaos ?

So it would seem from the desperate cries for help here. Poor, poor creatures.

Rest assured your problems will all be solved shortly. Patience is still a virtue.

-Sibey

PS. Note to self: is this just a temporary aberration, or should I put on more staff ?

We are waiting to receive your advice, Grand Master.

dear Sibey,

next month my wife does not celebrate her 60th ahmm... secretieth burfday. inspite of this fact she refuses to approve my plan exchanging her for three 20year old ladies. would you agree with me that she is unreasonable?

p.s. in case you agree please keep the location where you dwell secret².

Dear Naam,

Mrs. Naam is only concerned for your continued well being and happiness.

And rightly so. Imagine the days, weeks, even months of intimate guidance you would have to impart to these young ladies, both individually and as a group, to achieve the harmony and satisfaction you have enjoyed with Mrs. Naam up to now. This would undoubtedly involve a lot of very tiring hands on work, long days, even longer nights, and be an extremely hard time for you.

As usual, Mrs. Naam only has your best interests at heart.

-Sibey

Dear Sibey,

Do you agree with confucious, man who goes to bed with itchy bum wakes up with smelly finger?

Dear neverdie,

only if he sleeps alone.

-Sibey

Dear Sibey,

Do you agree with confucious, man who goes to bed with itchy bum wakes up with smelly finger?

Dear neverdie,

only if he sleeps alone.

-Sibey

..... and pray, tell me......

How? Would his finger become smelly?

Dear Sibble

Why is it that when people see you coming in your car and they make that conscious decision to jay-walk; they only speed up for the first few steps ? They look at your oncoming car , run to the middle ( death zone ) of the road, turn their heads away from the oncoming vehicle and amble the last two-thirds of the way.............?

Drives me fe£$%^ing mad every dam_n morning !!!!!!

Dear suiging,

I don't know who this "Sibble" is that you refer to. Perhaps a cheap imitator trying to cash in on my good name. This is Asia, after all.

I must admit this has a lot of people perplexed. It all has to do with relativity. It is simply that as the moment of death approaches time appears to become slower and slower resulting in the final moments before death is averted appearing to take forever. Hence having the time to see your whole life flash before your eyes just prior to the moment of death.

There are other untested theories involving parallel universes and extra dimensions postulating that the jay-walker and the vehicle will never occupy the same space at the same time. However, the occasional impact sometimes resulting in the death of the jay-walker has discredited this theory in the eyes of purists.

This very perplexing situation has engaged some of the brightest minds on the planet. There have even been books and movies made on the subject (eg. Stephen Hawking, Douglas Adams, The Philadelphia Experiment, Star Trek). However, none have so far adequately explained why the phenomenon appears particularly with jay-walkers. Possibly due to the fact that both bodies are in motion.

You may be able to make a valuable scientific contribution. If you continue to drive as normal and never actually impact with a jay-walker it would tend to support the latter theory above. However, if impact should occur you may have found evidence of either a breakdown of the space-time continuum, or have completely disproved the latter theory.

Either way, you will have contributed to mankind's understanding of the universe, and possibly helped to solve the problem of over-population.

-Sibey

Dear Sibble

Why is it that when people see you coming in your car and they make that conscious decision to jay-walk; they only speed up for the first few steps ? They look at your oncoming car , run to the middle ( death zone ) of the road, turn their heads away from the oncoming vehicle and amble the last two-thirds of the way.............?

Drives me fe£$%^ing mad every dam_n morning !!!!!!

Dear suiging,

I don't know who this "Sibble" is that you refer to. Perhaps a cheap imitator trying to cash in on my good name. This is Asia, after all.

I must admit this has a lot of people perplexed. It all has to do with relativity. It is simply that as the moment of death approaches time appears to become slower and slower resulting in the final moments before death is averted appearing to take forever. Hence having the time to see your whole life flash before your eyes just prior to the moment of death.

There are other untested theories involving parallel universes and extra dimensions postulating that the jay-walker and the vehicle will never occupy the same space at the same time. However, the occasional impact sometimes resulting in the death of the jay-walker has discredited this theory in the eyes of purists.

This very perplexing situation has engaged some of the brightest minds on the planet. There have even been books and movies made on the subject (eg. Stephen Hawking, Douglas Adams, The Philadelphia Experiment, Star Trek). However, none have so far adequately explained why the phenomenon appears particularly with jay-walkers. Possibly due to the fact that both bodies are in motion.

You may be able to make a valuable scientific contribution. If you continue to drive as normal and never actually impact with a jay-walker it would tend to support the latter theory above. However, if impact should occur you may have found evidence of either a breakdown of the space-time continuum, or have completely disproved the latter theory.

Either way, you will have contributed to mankind's understanding of the universe, and possibly helped to solve the problem of over-population.

-Sibey

Cor............... Thanks.

Dear Sibey,

This morning I woke up went to have a shower and when coming out I discovered there were bloody footprints on my kitchen floor leading from my kitchen bench to my balcony.

I am not kidding so I checked my feet as I thought I might have sleepwalked or something and cut my feet. Checked my feet and nothing was there no cuts nothing, no blood in my bedsheets.

Checked the length of the pattern and it was way too large, about 1.5 meters apart.

Made pictures of it and an now thinking what could have caused them.

Mind you my front door was locked as well as my balcony doors.

This is very weird.

Could it be this haircut lady practicing some kind of Voodoo on me?

Please advice!!!

Alex

Dear Alex,

try to stop sacrificing large black virgins on your kitchen table during nights which involve imbibing large amounts of recreational substances.

(similar to the rules which apply to vampires and werewolves, ie. staying away from sunlight and full moons).

-Sibey

Dear Sibey,

I need a little advice. I use to have a little thread, "Dear neverdie" but it seems to have died in the backside, something about the ladies not being able to accept the truth as it lies, according to neverdie.

I wonder if the death of my thread has anything to do with <deleted> little spin off threads or was it always doomed as I tackled the big issues such as "Does my bum look big in this dress" or "Why don't men want to cuddle after sex" .

ps:

Dear neverdie,

the truth always hurts...maybe you were just being too truthful for your audience.

After all, answering "yes" to the question "Does my bum look big in this dress ?" is hardly going to please the person asking, even though it is statistically proven to be the correct answer 99.9999989% of the time.

Similarly, the only thing men want after sex is more sex. If they wanted to cuddle they'd go to bed with a teddy bear.

Sibey

Dear Sibey

I keep getting these creepy PM's from members who think I am a whip wielding dominatrix. And while, yes, I do own a whip, I would like to add that it was a gift.

Maybe I should change my avatar to something else?

Like a nice fluffy kitten or something.

Yours

Mistress Whiplash

Dear Sibey: Why do I keep getting erotic dreams at night? I should be over that by now.

Dear Sibey: Why do I keep getting erotic dreams at night? I should be over that by now.

Dear Sibble

Why is it I think he actually owns that ?

Dear Sibey

I keep getting these creepy PM's from members who think I am a whip wielding dominatrix. And while, yes, I do own a whip, I would like to add that it was a gift.

Maybe I should change my avatar to something else?

Like a nice fluffy kitten or something.

Yours

Mistress Whiplash

Oi !!!

If you're not cancel my booking for next Wednesday and give me my money back !!!!!

Dear Sibey: Why do I keep getting erotic dreams at night? I should be over that by now.

Dear Sibey

Why does Ian have a camera pointed at my bed?

Dear Sibey

Should I pay my tax bill or run off back to life in Samui where I can spend my time scamming tourists and screwing around or spend my winter making giant penises out of snow?

Its such a tough choice please help

PS My GF has already run off with my gloves....but then they were fingerless anyway so I'm not too bothered.

Dear Sibey

Should I pay my tax bill or run off back to life in Samui where I can spend my time scamming tourists and screwing around or spend my winter making giant penises out of snow?

Its such a tough choice please help

PS My GF has already run off with my gloves....but then they were fingerless anyway so I'm not too bothered.

The girlfriend or the gloves

The girlfriend or the gloves

She was fully fingered. That was part of the problem.

Dear Sibey

Should I pay my tax bill or run off back to life in Samui where I can spend my time scamming tourists and screwing around or spend my winter making giant penises out of snow?

Its such a tough choice please help

PS My GF has already run off with my gloves....but then they were fingerless anyway so I'm not too bothered.

Dear smokie,

not being one to accept the right of authority to tax I recommend scampering off to Samui at the first opportunity. Scamming tourists I also object to, unless you are Thai, which you can excuse as a national past time. Screwing around is simply helping the local economy...a form of wealth redistribution in the absence of a formal welfare system.

As for making penises out of snow, not coming from a cold climate I don't see the attraction. What do you do with it ? Sure, as long as the temperature is below zero it stays hard. And there is always the artistic merit of sculpture to consider. But overall practicality should override form (otherwise why would women say "size doesn't matter"). Should you be as adept at making vaginas and breasts out of snow then I imagine there are a number of Nordic hotels that might find your services useful during the cold and dark winter months.

Sibey

PS: if your GF keeps running off with your fingerless gloves perhaps she has a closet golf fetish.

Thanks for your wise words Sibey. I just booked a flightr back to Samui as I realised from the news that the UK tax office hasn't a clue who owes what and where! Lucky me...

Also I have found a new birdie with whom to bunker down.

Life is good again all thanks to you!

Thanks for your wise words Sibey. I just booked a flightr back to Samui as I realised from the news that the UK tax office hasn't a clue who owes what and where! Lucky me...

Also I have found a new birdie with whom to bunker down.

Life is good again all thanks to you!

I read that the UK tax office are going to ask for interest on the people they have undercharged, but are not offering any on the millions that they overcharged.

And I assume all this was going on under Gordon Brown's regime?

Could you please translate this headline in today's Daily Telegraph into English that all our readers can understand?

New FA chairman David Bernstein: from <deleted> to FA

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/england/8218939/New-FA-chairman-David-Bernstein-from-<deleted>-to-FA.html

Dear Sibey........

Help.

WHY?

Does, Ctrl Z not work if ya wanna fix sumfin.

One is unable to scroll using mouse wheel.

I have tried to get my regular avatar .............

.... back, but alltho', my profile says my eye is the current avatar, it isn't.

Actually, it appeared suddenly one nite, but no more.

Other things too, but they are my main whinge.

Cheers.

Dear Sibey, somebody is posting unauthorized photos of me all over Chiang Mai. Should I be upset?

Oi Sibbles,

Who killed neverdie ?

Oi Sibbles,

Who killed neverdie ?

Proffessor Plum.

Dear Sibey, somebody is posting unauthorized photos of me all over Chiang Mai. Should I be upset?

Why didn't you give them the authorised photos?

Oi Sibbles,

Who killed neverdie ?

Proffessor Plum.

Him again....Should have known

Dear Sibey, somebody is posting unauthorized photos of me all over Chiang Mai. Should I be upset?

Why didn't you give them the authorised photos?

Well, he just went into my gallery and helped himself.