Dating Girls Is Really, Really Hard

[takatan]

Hi,

When I first came to Thailand in vacation, I found the Thai girls extremely beautiful. Sure, like everywhere you can find truly ugly ones, but the beautiful ones -and there were plenty- were... amazing.

Now I've been working in Bangkok for 6 months, and all I can say is that meeting girls here is extremely hard. When you are in your city you have your friends, coworkers, and a network of people you know. That's the way I used to meet new people.

Here I work alone in my hotel room for my company and their closed society only makes thing harder. I don't know how to meet girls who don't see you as a new lifestyle just by the money you can bring, but for yourself. dam_n, everything here is "Thai only" when it refers to Thais. In internet many IRC servers are 'Thai only', Torrent sites require 'invitations from members', their middle class society requires someone to introduce you.

Some people told me that money is the way to go here. That things are measured based on their economic value. Sorry, I don't buy that. So, the question is: what do you do to meet new girls here?

Comments would be really appreciated.

P.D.: Sorry, it seems I'm trying to sort out many things here but, to be sincere, I came to Thailand mainly to look for a potential life-partner. What I'm finding here are three kinds of people: those who have a very low income and, in general, they are the most friendly of them all. The people who need us but at the same time hate us (i.e. almost everyone in my experience). And the people who have travelled and they understand that the world is not "Thai-Farangs-Japanese-Indians".

I feel also rather upset in the way they deal with Indian people. dam_n, don't they understand that they have took a huge number of critical elements in their culture from them? Including their beloved religion, massage, deity statues, etc. Is amazing how now in some places they just don't allow some Indian people. Perhaps because I see a reflection there of how they see us. They just only need our money.

[tonititan]

Is amazing how now in some places they just don't allow some Indian people.

Where in Thailand do they not allow Indians?

[siggie2]

Get away from Bangkok as it seems to change farangs to bigots and racists,condemning any other skin but white.There is a real nasty undercurrent to the haves and have nots.Go to other cities in Thailand and you will understand what i mean,and you will feel more welcome and clean in mind.

[F1fanatic]

You came here looking for a "potential life-partner". Why?

Its v easy to meet women, they will throw themselves at you. If you genuinely want a woman who's not after your money - GO BACK HOME!

Somehow I suspect the women at home don't want you - in which case, find the best you can who will at least look after you, even though she's only interested in a better life.

[siggie2]

Is amazing how now in some places they just don't allow some Indian people.

Where in Thailand do they not allow Indians?

Many thais are racist to Indians and dont hide it too.

[tonititan]

Is amazing how now in some places they just don't allow some Indian people.

Where in Thailand do they not allow Indians?

Many thais are racist to Indians and dont hide it too.

I believe that, as there seems to be racist people in just about any country. But my question was in response to the OP saying that people from India are actually not allowed in some places. I wanted to know what "places" he's talking about.

[SeanMoran]

The further you go into it, the harder it gets ...

---o0o---

To explain, remember that there are 6.5 billion people in this world, half of us men and half of them women roughly estimating, and there are 65 million Thai people in this Kingdom, half of us men and half of them women.

You have a 100:1 chance even after the first date, my friend. Life wasn't meant to be easy.

Edited January 17, 2010 by SeanMoran

[sbk]

takatan, are you looking for the advice of women specifically as this forum is for women, not about women, thanks.

[Artamus]

this forum is for women, not about women, thanks.

I wish I had a baht for every time I see this comment on this forum. This forum really does need a name change. Many (newer) members post these types of questions here as the forum title is "Ladies in Thailand". It would be much better to change to "For ladies in Thailand".

And to the OP, yes it is hard to date well-educated, nice ladies here - cultural differences, language, social stigma etc. count for a lot. It requires time, effort and patience.

[cdnvic]

Moved to the pub...

[quiksilva]

Just like anywhere, look within your own circle. If your social circle is small, expand it. Meet new people by getting off the computer and out of your hotel room. Join clubs, social, hobbies, sports etc.

Failing that gather some courage and say hello to someone you have never met before, initiate a conversation, perhaps someone you see regularly. The worst they can say is no.

[Meridian007]

I assume that you are Indian? Did you grow up in India, or did you live in the west somewhere? Unless your English is 100% perfect, with no accent other than a western one, I would suggest a language school.

Even if your English is almost perfect, you might be able to fake it well enough to fit in as a student. This is one of the best ways to meet someone here.

When I was teaching at a language school here, an Indian guy joined to improve his English. It was already quite good, but he needed some work on pronunciation because he said his Indian accent was too strong. Initially, the Thai students kept away from him, but he had a really open and friendly personality, so he soon began to introduce himself to everyone, and join in with their groups. After a couple of months of this, he was accepted fully into the group, as they saw him as a fellow student rather than "that Indian guy". He had changed how they categorized him, and I think that is your best chance to meet someone here who is not "on the game".

So, if you join something that gives you a chance to be social, (a language school is perfect because the people are there to talk, and that is how you'll make connections), and you can be friendly and charming, you should have no problem meeting new people.

[takatan]

First, thank you for the answers.

No, I'm not from India. The comments come from the reaction I see in some Thai people when dealing with Indians. As far as I know about Thai culture, they owe them a lot of critical things but, in some cases, Indians are considered second-class citizens. Anyway, it's just my experience.

Meeting new girls is easy when you are studying in the university but it becomes slowly but increasingly harder when you leave it. People start to live together with their partner, and over time that leads to marriages. If you remove your friends and your co-workers network (the last two girls I met were working in my company and in a customers department) it's really hard (for me at least). And something I didn't think about when planning to come here.

My only social activity here is the Muay Thai camp, but as you can imagine, it isn't a good place to meet girls. I met other foreigners there but they are more interested in "short-term" relationships.

So I'm trying to figure out a course of action. As a stranger in a strange land, without speaking the language, I'm wondering how foreign people are meeting girls here (girls with an university background, who aren't engaged) if you don't physically work in a company.

Best regards,

[soundman]

Think of how you would meet a girl in your home country.

and

try to do the same here.

Not different, not harder, not easier.

Name of the game is getting out of your hotel room and interacting with people around you.

Enrole in a language school. Go out and practice what you have learned on everyone you come into contact with during the day. The Thai's will love it, & I hazard to say you will meet more girls that way than you would have in your own country, so not "knowing" the language could actually work in your favour.

and some free advice:

If you can't get a "hiso" girl in your home country, I wouldn't set your sights on one here either.

[Hazri]

OP mentioned he tried IRC with little success. I suggest trying other chatrooms that are available on the net. Yahoo might be a good start. Lots of Thai chatters there. Good luck.

[zzaa09]

Is amazing how now in some places they just don't allow some Indian people.

Where in Thailand do they not allow Indians?

Many thais are racist to Indians and dont hide it too.

Odd. Since Siam is an historied extension of the ancient Indianized expansion, owing much to influence and contributions.

[powderpuff]

I usually go to a massage place when I want to meet girls.

[Daewoo]

Thai's in general do not like Indian's... they find them rude, aggressive, arrogant, and smelly... and Thai's are allowed to say that without it beig frowned upon like would happen in most of our home countries...

You also need to consider that for Thai's in general, dark skin equates to working outdoors, which equates to being poor and poorly educated... as was the case in England a couple of hundred years ago, and is why the English and French upper classes all wore makeup and powdered faces... It only changed when a tan started to indicate affluence that allowed you to travel to warmer climes for vacations...

Thai's get their religion from Buddah, not India, and their lanuage is their own, they are very nationalistic... so these aren't any reason to treat Indians better than their perceived station...

I know some girls who are in love with their 'chocolate man' British Indians, but when I have been out with Indian workmates can not even get my good friends to make conversation with them... and these are professional men...

You might be able meet a good girl by meeting a bad girl first, getting her to introduce you to some 'good' friends, and taking it from there... I think buy the time you trawl through all of the scammers on Internet dating sites, you will be too old to know what the Internet is, and start calling it the wireless...

Cheers,

Daewoo

Edited January 21, 2010 by Daewoo

[babuhavas]

Thai's in general do not like Indian's... they find them rude, aggressive, arrogant, and smelly... and Thai's are allowed to say that without it beig frowned upon like would happen in most of our home countries...

You also need to consider that for Thai's in general, dark skin equates to working outdoors, which equates to being poor and poorly educated... as was the case in England a couple of hundred years ago, and is why the English and French upper classes all wore makeup and powdered faces... It only changed when a tan started to indicate affluence that allowed you to travel to warmer climes for vacations...

Thai's get their religion from Buddah, not India, and their lanuage is their own, they are very nationalistic... so these aren't any reason to treat Indians better than their perceived station...

I know some girls who are in love with their 'chocolate man' British Indians, but when I have been out with Indian workmates can not even get my good friends to make conversation with them... and these are professional men...

You might be able meet a good girl by meeting a bad girl first, getting her to introduce you to some 'good' friends, and taking it from there... I think buy the time you trawl through all of the scammers on Internet dating sites, you will be too old to know what the Internet is, and start calling it the wireless...

Cheers,

Daewoo

buddah;s real name was sidhartha he was from north east part of india,thai language have lot of words from sanskrit.

[Daewoo]

buddah;s real name was sidhartha he was from north east part of india,thai language have lot of words from sanskrit.

I understand the origins of Buddhism, I should have used parenthesis to indicate I was speaking from a Thai point of view... I am sure few would know that Buddhism came to Thailand (via Cambodia) from India... or that their script and language also followed that route... Thai's are Thai's and used to rule all of SE Asia...

Cheers,

Daewoo

[mmushr00m]

Just go up to a girl and say "Hi"

You have a 50-50 chance. But if you dont try you get 0% chance.

Thats what i did with the missus and man did she shoot me down hard the 1st time. Shot down in flames!!!!

[Jim's_a_Thai_Fox]

Hi there,

I am not sure how old you are or what you do for activities, but 'hanging around' near eateries close to large universities and practicing your Thai could work.

Do you play tennis or golf? If you do, try joining a local club or playing regularly - great way to get into "higher-so" group.

Bangkok is full of western men with less honorable intentions than you and you risk being tainted with the same brush... the language school is good advice, maybe try offering free English in exchange for Thai?

Don't worry about initially meeting ugly or non-eligible women - they are all gatekeepers to stunners!

I had a friend who used yahoo chat to get a new date every weekend, definately worth a try, he also hung out around On Nut BTS and used the local food stalls, beer shops. Met plenty of great people.

Good luck!

[britmaveric]

Hmmm getting dates in Bangkok is very easy unless you are void of personality.

[zzdocxx]

Hmmm there was some guy on here a few months ago who did a long thread about how he "operated" in Thailand, anybody remember that?

[Insight]

Take a walk around Siam of a weekend. Play dumb and ask people for directions. Use a bit of imagination and think of a way to get your phone number across. Use a bit of imagination! I met Mrs Insight through work, but if that option wasn't available to me I would of tried this myself.

Even in my programming profession here I've never met a lady savy enough to use IRC, so not sure what results you're expecting there. Also I believe the dating websites have become pretty murky nowadays.

You mention Muay Thai - would you try joining a regular gym? I do Muay Thai at True Fitness which appears to be full of single ladies.

[japkoo]

I think buy the time you trawl through all of the scammers on Internet dating sites, you will be too old to know what the Internet is, and start calling it the wireless...

I found my current girlfriend on the Internet.

It took awhile to figure out how, but I found out that the trick for me was:

To be myself.

I initially went on those sites and would approach girls by telling them how much money I made in the US. That attracted the wrong types of girls. And realistically, there is no way I will make that type of money in Thailand. Once I started being more honest and forthcoming, I started dating the right types.

[Birdman]

If you are handsome the girls will approach you, if you are medium you can speak/joke with all kind of girls in any place and be patient, if you are ugly you can try the same, but you will probably end in Nana.

[t.s]

Mate, if you need someone to draw you a map you are already too lost to recover.

[IanForbes]

At my age I find it difficult dating girls. That is why I finally decided to just date women. It's much more satisfying and there's no end to the numbers available.

[a2396]

Is amazing how now in some places they just don't allow some Indian people.

Where in Thailand do they not allow Indians?

Some places in BKK don't allow white boys either. I was denied entrance at a girlie bar once & told it was for Japanese only. Also similar in Malaysia - told the girls were only available for Malays & Chinese. White boys & Indians - take a hike.