Tgf Stay In The Temple......? Buffalo Story?

[expatinasia]

So, Big Guy, what's the "scam" you think she's pulling? Getting her hair cut? Staying in a temple? You've already written that you don't trust her...what do you think she's up to? Why would you ever consider staying with someone you don't trust?

[dereklev]

I think that most Thai's know the name of their village temple unless they are a little thick. We are assuming it is her home local temple aren't we?

A lot of temples are known by more than one name and it does in fact seem that sometimes even local people don't know any of them. I remember once driving around a particular district in Ubon trying to find a temple that we had the name of. It took ages. People umm and aahed and asked other people and we got sent to other temples. The best thing to do turned out to be asking a monk.

As long as she can tell you exactly where the temple is, I wouldn't be that worried about her not knowing the name

You may have a point. I just asked my wife to give me the name of her local Wat, after giving me the names of four local Wats I told her that was enough??

I just asked my wife too......

I also got the names of several local temples......

She was very suprised that a Thai girl does not know the name of the temple in the village she grew up in! !

[jomama]

I once took a girl (who was really just a friend) to a temple for two weeks of meditation. I dropped her off and picked her up (because that's what she wanted). Perhaps your girlfriend would appreciate similar help with transportation. Does sound like it could be a bit fishy, but like many have said, best to be sure somehow...

[Buff-horns]

So, Big Guy, what's the "scam" you think she's pulling?  Getting her hair cut?  Staying in a temple?  You've already written that you don't trust her...what do you think she's up to?  Why would you ever consider staying with someone you don't trust?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

because it is very hard (impossible) to find one that you can trust?

[The Nemi]

Yeh getting a PI sounds good....

Yes and she dosent even know the name of the temple is the part to be worried abt.

You urself can pay her a surprise visit to cross check.

Temple wud be a good excuse i think.

[bkkmadness]

She has not given me any reason over the last two years to think this would happen ....quite frankly I trusted her and still do ......I think it just think the move to Japan with me may have been too much for her and she has decided to call it a day but doesn't know how to say it .....Abu Dhabi was ok but Japan is a much more difficult place to be.....perhaps she used temple genuinely as an excuse to put some distance between us and to go her own way......the fact she has not been in touch despite the fact I have got messages through to her family and it is now two weeks since I spoke with her is enough of an answer for me ................fair enough her choice..........talked it through with a couple of my mates who have seen us together over the last two years and they were surprised at her action ....very much out of character......but then with a TG who ever really knows what goes on in their mind ....the reason I am writing this answer to you BKKmadness is mainly to say she has not in the time I have known her given me any reason to doubt her honesty ...... but c'est la vie .....time to move on

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well then it all seems incredibly ridiculous to me, you have ahd a happy trusting relationship for two years, everything been cool so far, then she tells you shes going to the temple for a month, and suddenly you both don't ever see each other again.

Without ever actually talking and finishing the relationship? Where's the closure?

Maybe shes just gone to sort her head out in the temple while she decides what to do next because she is not happy in Japan. I just can't honestly fathom while you would give up the girl so easy that you have been so happy with. Just seems like such a waste that's all.

[CrossBones]

Get someone to check her out. Where is this temple? Find the name. I imagine they have a phone. Look it up in yellow pages? Call her

[Pie Boy]

Get someone to check her out. Where is this temple? Find the name. I imagine they have a phone. Look it up in yellow pages? Call her

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So is every temple in Thailand listed in the yellow pages?

[brubo1]

Can not believe that this would be a buffalo story! My GF has had 2 stints in a temple over the last 13 months. First time I was there with her - eg I dropped her off at the temple and then visited her every day. There was about 80 other women doing the same thing. All of them dressed in white robes and very few with a shaved head. These stays however were for only 3 days and I belive this is being done around Visakha Buccha Day (around Buddha's birthday or the 6th full moon of the year). But going for a stay at the temple is really nothing unusual for a TG to do. Just for the sake of it - I just asked my GF if she remembers the names of the 2 temples she stayed at and she just rattled of the names without even having to think.

eddie eagle: if you are happy staying with this girl you are crazy throwing it away over this!!! However, if you have doubts about this relationship for the long term - it seems like a good way out! Good luck.

[Bilko]

Yes , seems a shame for her, 2 years wasted for what, to get rejected cos he is so insecure in himself ?

Coming to an internet forum to ask a bunch of strangers their advice on a matter that will alter the lives of more than just one person is strange, he knows her, none of us guys do, then to go along with the " Just dump her, plenty more fish in the sea " brigade is very strange after 2 years of being happy.

Troll perhaps?

[Pattaya_Fox]

Methinks he had already made his mind up to dump her.

If you love somebody you go after them....

or maybe he`s just winding us all up.

[bkkmadness]

Yes , seems a shame for her, 2 years wasted for what, to get rejected cos he is so insecure in himself ?

Coming to an internet forum to ask a bunch of strangers their advice on a matter that will alter the lives of more than just one person is strange, he knows her, none of us guys do, then to go along with the  " Just dump her, plenty more fish in the sea " brigade is very strange after 2 years of being happy.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That's precisely it Bilko well said. It shows such a lack of resepct to dump the girl just without taking a little bit of time to find out the truth.

Although, something that stuck out with me in the OPs opening post does seem to show that lack of respect.

I am minded to walk away from her applying the principle "if you think a TG is lying she probably is"

....any advice would be appreciated

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I find it terrible that someone after two years with a girl still can't look at her as an individual, but still treat her according to racial prejudice. It seems a common trait amongst people with Thai gfs to distrust them purely because they are Thai and I find that pretty sad.

If the guys like that, then good luck to her, better off without him and she will be free to find someone more deserving. Innocent until proven guilty doesn't seem to apply here at all.

[Bilko]

or maybe he`s just winding us all up.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good chance of that I think.

[OlRedEyes]

Yes , seems a shame for her, 2 years wasted for what, to get rejected cos he is so insecure in himself ?

Well said. After a two year relationship, never giving him a reason for doubt, the relationship justifies at least investigating the situation properly, not deciding on the advice of ppl who know nothing about it. Maybe HE wants out, and is looking for an excuse to feel better about ditching a young girl who gave him two years of her life.

Show her some respect. At least make sure, else YOU are the arse*ole

[Bilko]

Reading his previous posts, I retract my Troll suspicion.

I would add that, like a few others, I think he was just looking for an excuse to finish with her, or maybe she has seen the light and moved first to get on with her life.

After all lads, we can go on and on in this country, we are still ' Sexy men ' when stumbling along on a Zimmer frame.

The girls don't have the luxury of time on their side, I knew a women in her 30's dumped for a younger model after 7 - 8 years living with a Farang, she was left with nothing to show for it but a 21" TV in a rented room.

He walked out for an 18 year old who ripped him off big time, serves his right.

Edited June 26, 2005 by Bilko

[Neeranam]

The girls don't have the luxury of time on their side, I knew a women in her 30's dumped for a younger model after 7 - 8 years living with a Farang, she was left with nothing to show for it but a 21" TV in a rented room.

He walked out for an 18 year old who ripped him off big time, serves his right.

Yeah, I've seen this quite a few times too.

[bkkmadness]

Let's be fair though, a lot of girls get a farang bf, sit in front of the telly all day, and when the relationship ends wonder why they don't have anything. Many of them would have had ample time to study or work at a career so they wouldn't be in that situation if it happens. Just because a farang guy gets with a girlfriend it doesn't mean he has to look after her for the rest of her life if he decides he wants to move on just because she has not tried to achieve anything for herself in life.

This is just a general thought BTW, not concerning the original topic.

[mbkudu]

Let's be fair though, a lot of girls get a farang bf, sit in front of the telly all day, and when the relationship ends wonder why they don't have anything.  Many of them would have had ample time to study or work at a career so they wouldn't be in that situation if it happens.  Just because a farang guy gets with a girlfriend it doesn't mean he has to look after her for the rest of her life if he decides he wants to move on just because she has not tried to achieve anything for herself in life. 

This is just a general thought BTW, not concerning the original topic.

A simple, logical, sensibly written short post that unfortunately not many Thai girls with Farangs will read.

Back to the original post: I think you're being BS'ed all the way. Sorry.

Edited June 26, 2005 by mbkudu

[bkkmadness]

Let's be fair though, a lot of girls get a farang bf, sit in front of the telly all day, and when the relationship ends wonder why they don't have anything.  Many of them would have had ample time to study or work at a career so they wouldn't be in that situation if it happens.  Just because a farang guy gets with a girlfriend it doesn't mean he has to look after her for the rest of her life if he decides he wants to move on just because she has not tried to achieve anything for herself in life. 

This is just a general thought BTW, not concerning the original topic.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

A simple, logical, sensibly written short post that unfortunately not many Thai girls with Farangs will read.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

But a lot of farangs with thai gfs just like that will read it, and maybe they will get that message across to their gfs just in case they ever break up coz in the end it'll be better for them both if the girl was more independent.

[mbkudu]

Before marrying my current wife I tried this approach with a few girls, "You need to do something. Learn a trade, learn a foreign language, start a small business; I'll do all I can to help you do it." The response was usually positive from the start and then the 'keekiat mode' set right back in again. I am fortunate that my wife is naturally entrepreneurial and just needed some cash to get things rolling.

[bkkmadness]

And it's the keekiat ones that often get left in their

30's dumped for a younger model after 7 - 8 years living with a Farang, she was left with nothing to show for it but a 21" TV in a rented room

I can't feel much sympathy really, some do seem to think it's a free ride with a farang.

Anyway, back on topic before some people take this way off into some weird thai girl bashing angles.

[rainman]

Before marrying my current wife I tried this approach with a few girls, "You need to do something. Learn a trade, learn a foreign language, start a small business; I'll do all I can to help you do it." The response was usually positive from the start and then the 'keekiat mode' set right back in again. I am fortunate that my wife is naturally entrepreneurial and just needed some cash to get things rolling.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

ditto, its what i tell my girlfriend (of 13 months now) too. university degree and a good job before marriage.

[schmokinn]

Is she telling the truth......?

My TGF has gone to stay in the temple for a month. She first told me a month ago that she would have to spend time in the temple and she timed the visit to fit in with me leaving Thailand on short notice for a couple of weeks i.e. I fixed the dates not her.

Reason for her going into the temple is the monk told her on a previous visit she would have very bad luck and could die if she didn't. When I asked her if it she would shave her head like the buddist nuns I have seen she said no ...she called me last night and said she was going into the temple today but would call me from time to time becasue she gets out of the temple some times to visit her mother. The routine is two (2) meals per day plus a prayer and mediatation regime. When I asked the TGF the name of the temple she said she didn't know ....bit surprising since it is nearby to her village.

I would like to think it isn't a scam but there are too many areas of doubt plus I haven't heard of TG's going into a temple before ....I am minded to walk away from her applying the principle "if you think a TG is lying she probably is"

....any advice would be appreciated

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

my wife told me the same and i have no problem believing her,the thing is she actually never went??

i think maybe her mother was pushing her to do this as she is very supersticious.

i think the outcome was maybe because she thought i may think the same as you.

i would say it is certainly something they do,and i dont find a month unusual now kn owing some thai ladies that have done this.

at the end of the day is it the emotional risk...or financial outlay you are wooried ab out??

from what you have said you have no reason not to trust her,if she were not thai would you worry..i think not.

just mho

[eddie eagle]

I tried but I can't just walk on ......decided not to just let it go .......glad I didn't she was just giving me a nudge in the right direction......I suppose its fair enough after two years .....I was concerned she wanted out ...just the opposite .....

[TizMe]

I am fortunate that my wife is naturally entrepreneurial and just needed some cash to get things rolling.

I see you and raise you one. Mrs TizMe already had the cash B4 Mr TizMe canme along.

[daleyboy]

I tried but I can't just walk on ......decided not to just let it go .......glad I didn't she was just giving me a nudge in the right direction......I suppose its fair enough after two years .....I was concerned she wanted out ...just the opposite .....

Glad to hear your not just going to walk on 2 years is a long time just to throw away, hope it all turns out good for you

[OlRedEyes]

I tried but I can't just walk on ......decided not to just let it go .......glad I didn't she was just giving me a nudge in the right direction......I suppose its fair enough after two years .....I was concerned she wanted out ...just the opposite .....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Great stuff Be careful, but be fair.

[Bilko]

I tried but I can't just walk on ......decided not to just let it go .......glad I didn't she was just giving me a nudge in the right direction......I suppose its fair enough after two years .....I was concerned she wanted out ...just the opposite .....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Eddie, your Girl travelled with you to the Middle East and Japan, if she stayed with you in Japan, she must be pretty serious about you. Japan ain't an easy place to be.

Good luck to you both.