Gay Life In Thailand?

[xenophanes]

There is plenty of gay life in Bangkok, Chiang Mai, Koh Samui, Pattaya & Phuket but what about the rest of Thailand? I am thinking of doing a nationwide tour and would appreciate a heads up!

[rodentwarrior]

I suggest that you browse through gayromeo to see what is out there in the backwoods! Alternatively you might try chatting to boys in Bangkok who are from the provinces.

There is, of course, gay life in the provinces, although because of the language issue it tends to be a bit 'sticky rice'.

I suggest if you are travelling alone, that you tread carefully.

[xenophanes]

I suggest that you browse through gayromeo to see what is out there in the backwoods! Alternatively you might try chatting to boys in Bangkok who are from the provinces.

There is, of course, gay life in the provinces, although because of the language issue it tends to be a bit 'sticky rice'.

I suggest if you are travelling alone, that you tread carefully.

Thanks for this.

Where are you rodentwarrior and 'tread carefully' to guard against what?

[pauleddy]

Homophobia, Jim, but not as we know it.

My BF comes from a small place in Isaan. He says that his dad would have killed him, if he had been out. He still can't tell his old uni pals; his degree was a macho one in science, and not arts.

As a single westerner in the boonies, look at the gay guides. Sure, sure, you can meet nice boys on the street--but some will just smile in a friendly way, without wanting love. We are spoiled in BKK...so many boys and bars and etc.

OK, OK, so Thailand is not Idaho, but there is still some redneck stuff.

Eddy

[endure]

Homophobia, Jim, but not as we know it.

My BF comes from a small place in Isaan. He says that his dad would have killed him, if he had been out. He still can't tell his old uni pals; his degree was a macho one in science, and not arts.

I didn't realise that degrees had degrees of gayness?

[isanbirder]

Homophobia, Jim, but not as we know it.

My BF comes from a small place in Isaan. He says that his dad would have killed him, if he had been out. He still can't tell his old uni pals; his degree was a macho one in science, and not arts.

As a single westerner in the boonies, look at the gay guides. Sure, sure, you can meet nice boys on the street--but some will just smile in a friendly way, without wanting love. We are spoiled in BKK...so many boys and bars and etc.

OK, OK, so Thailand is not Idaho, but there is still some redneck stuff.

Eddy

You give a very one-sided impression of rural Thailand! I live with my partner in a small place in Isaan, 100m. from his parents. The whole family is well-known and respected in the community, and having a gay 'son-in-law' doesn't worry them in the slightest. And I have a katoey brother-in-law!

But OP, you're in a foreign country, and you don't know the rules; stick to the bars and places you can find in the gay websites. Not all of them are commercial.

[pauleddy]

Homophobia, Jim, but not as we know it.

My BF comes from a small place in Isaan. He says that his dad would have killed him, if he had been out. He still can't tell his old uni pals; his degree was a macho one in science, and not arts.

I didn't realise that degrees had degrees of gayness?

[pauleddy]

Homophobia, Jim, but not as we know it.

My BF comes from a small place in Isaan. He says that his dad would have killed him, if he had been out. He still can't tell his old uni pals; his degree was a macho one in science, and not arts.

I didn't realise that degrees had degrees of gayness?

'Fraid so, especially with young Thais. If you do Comm. Arts at Chula, then many of your class will be happy and gay. If you do mechanical engineering (anywhere), then you will be kinda xpected to be a jock and talk about titties. Some stay closeted. My BF went for a meal with his old classmates last week. Science bunch. Only one knows about him. The rest wanted to go to a brothel after supper, and he was teased (again) for not going.

[xenophanes]

Homophobia, Jim, but not as we know it.

My BF comes from a small place in Isaan. He says that his dad would have killed him, if he had been out. He still can't tell his old uni pals; his degree was a macho one in science, and not arts.

I didn't realise that degrees had degrees of gayness?

'Fraid so, especially with young Thais. If you do Comm. Arts at Chula, then many of your class will be happy and gay. If you do mechanical engineering (anywhere), then you will be kinda xpected to be a jock and talk about titties. Some stay closeted. My BF went for a meal with his old classmates last week. Science bunch. Only one knows about him. The rest wanted to go to a brothel after supper, and he was teased (again) for not going.

This thread seems to have strayed a little from my original question, which is and interesting but surely there are bars etc for gay people away from the tourist areas even though there is a strong vein of homophobia in Thai society?

[anotheruser]

Outside of the areas you mentioned, no there really isn't much.

[peridot]

This thread seems to have strayed a little from my original question, which is and interesting but surely there are bars etc for gay people away from the tourist areas even though there is a strong vein of homophobia in Thai society?

Your question could be interpreted in a few different ways. If you are looking for "gay", as we know in the west, there isn't much in Thailand outside of westernized areas. But if you are looking for homosexuals, or "men who have sex with men", you may find them anywhere. They may have a wife and kids, they may not wear brand name labels, but they are there, and they are truly lovers of men. They often remain within Thai cultural norms, closely tied to family, but no one knows or cares much about what they do in private. There may be gossip, of course, but not much persecution, and generally people stay out of others' business.

In Bangkok there are several gay areas, some with westerners and some without. If you stick to Babylon and Silom/Surawong, you will meet many nice Thai men, but they are self-selecting. They are able to speak enough English to at least make contact, and also are willing to be labeled as farang chasers or maybe even moneyboys by their friends. They are not the majority of gay men in Bangkok.

There are listings for gay bars out of the tourist areas in the magazines and bar maps. Or Kor Tor, next to Jatujak Market, is very gay and almost exclusively Thai. There are also several bars and a few saunas in Ramkamhaeng, with hundreds of Thai students and very few foreigners. If you don't speak Thai you may not find many people to talk to, and the majority seem to be "sticky rice", only interested in other Thais, but there are a few brave souls willing to check out a foreigner. Go with a Thai friend for an easier introduction.

You can also look for men in rural areas on gayromeo, and maybe ask someone to show you around the area.

[peter991]

Interesting topic. Sure, it's easy to find gay guys in tourist areas (Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket etc) but there's a lot more in the countryside. You just have to look a bit harder. Thai people are naturally friendly, love gossip and are curious. The secret is to make eye contact and trust your gaydar. While some lingering looks and smiles are just 'I am friendly - but not interested' there's a lot of guys interested in getting close to a farang.

It certainly helps to have a Thai friend as there's a huge language (and cultural barrier) in the countryside - but patience and politeness work wonders.

[xenophanes]

Homophobia, Jim, but not as we know it.

My BF comes from a small place in Isaan. He says that his dad would have killed him, if he had been out. He still can't tell his old uni pals; his degree was a macho one in science, and not arts.

As a single westerner in the boonies, look at the gay guides. Sure, sure, you can meet nice boys on the street--but some will just smile in a friendly way, without wanting love. We are spoiled in BKK...so many boys and bars and etc.

OK, OK, so Thailand is not Idaho, but there is still some redneck stuff.

Eddy

You give a very one-sided impression of rural Thailand! I live with my partner in a small place in Isaan, 100m. from his parents. The whole family is well-known and respected in the community, and having a gay 'son-in-law' doesn't worry them in the slightest. And I have a katoey brother-in-law!

But OP, you're in a foreign country, and you don't know the rules; stick to the bars and places you can find in the gay websites. Not all of them are commercial.

Where are you in Isaan, Isanbirder?

[isanbirder]

Where are you in Isaan, Isanbirder?

Deepest Buriram!

[llz]

There is plenty of gay life in Bangkok, Chiang Mai, Koh Samui, Pattaya & Phuket but what about the rest of Thailand? I am thinking of doing a nationwide tour and would appreciate a heads up!

Do a search on the gay boards and something will surely pop up about gay places in Chiang Rai, Hat Yai, Udon Thani, Ubon Ratchathani, Hua Hin, Khorat : there is (has been) at least one gay venue in each of these places that I have personnally checked but some may have closed.

[Jingthing]

Oy vey. Just go to the nearest haircut shop with a gay looking barber. Then make it clear you are gay, not a problem for most of you. You will get the skinny right quick.

[tombkk]

Oy vey. Just go to the nearest haircut shop with a gay looking barber. Then make it clear you are gay, not a problem for most of you. You will get the skinny right quick.

And one more idea: Go to the local discotheque, there is most likely a gay corner.

[chrisyork]

This one is a bit difficult for Westerners to get their heads round. There is no Gay Life in rural Thailand - just Life. And that includes all the categories that we keep separate and distinct in the West. I live around 300km from BK in a rural farming community. We're simply part of the family, live in the main family house, take part in bringing the kids up, all the things that families normally do. Everybody in the village knows us, Police, Wat etc etc. Simply no issues - except perhaps the pitty they won't have children one. There are at least two other gays in reasonably close parts of the family, similarely a non issue.

So how do you meet them? Well you won't except completely by accident. Relationships are formed through knowing your school buddies, family connections etc. Plus Thailand has a feature unlike any other country. There is really only one city - BKK. So all Thai's count "Home" as the rural village they were born and brought up in; But, they all spend time in their twenties working in Bangkok. So an awfull lot of relationships are formed away from the prying eyes of family in BKK and then exported home when all parties are sure its a keeper. That goes for straight as well as gay.

So if you are looking for Thai Gay Life as opposed to commercial gays - who are often straight - then BKK is the place. But expect to have a really exciting time visiting all sorts of dives that you wouldn't have dreamt of going to! My personal recommendation would be to visit some of the gay sauna's that are not frequented by westerners. Go in the late afternoon early evening and simply wait and see what happens. Let them approach you, not the other way around. Then you might find yourself on a rollercoaster evening out to all sorts of weird places. Expect it to involve Karaoke - the Thai version is reallly brilliant, not at all like the west - and expect it to go to at least 5 am. View the sauna as a meeting point, not a destination.

Elsewhere in the country, just go and lurk somewhere for a while - perhaps a few days, for people to get used to the fact you are there and for the word to get round.

Chris

[xenophanes]

This one is a bit difficult for Westerners to get their heads round. There is no Gay Life in rural Thailand - just Life. And that includes all the categories that we keep separate and distinct in the West. I live around 300km from BK in a rural farming community. We're simply part of the family, live in the main family house, take part in bringing the kids up, all the things that families normally do. Everybody in the village knows us, Police, Wat etc etc. Simply no issues - except perhaps the pitty they won't have children one. There are at least two other gays in reasonably close parts of the family, similarely a non issue.

So how do you meet them? Well you won't except completely by accident. Relationships are formed through knowing your school buddies, family connections etc. Plus Thailand has a feature unlike any other country. There is really only one city - BKK. So all Thai's count "Home" as the rural village they were born and brought up in; But, they all spend time in their twenties working in Bangkok. So an awfull lot of relationships are formed away from the prying eyes of family in BKK and then exported home when all parties are sure its a keeper. That goes for straight as well as gay.

So if you are looking for Thai Gay Life as opposed to commercial gays - who are often straight - then BKK is the place. But expect to have a really exciting time visiting all sorts of dives that you wouldn't have dreamt of going to! My personal recommendation would be to visit some of the gay sauna's that are not frequented by westerners. Go in the late afternoon early evening and simply wait and see what happens. Let them approach you, not the other way around. Then you might find yourself on a rollercoaster evening out to all sorts of weird places. Expect it to involve Karaoke - the Thai version is reallly brilliant, not at all like the west - and expect it to go to at least 5 am. View the sauna as a meeting point, not a destination.

Elsewhere in the country, just go and lurk somewhere for a while - perhaps a few days, for people to get used to the fact you are there and for the word to get round.

Chris

Many thanks. I have sent you a personal message so please check your inbox.

[Guest]

There is lots of gay life in the provinces, but it rarely happens in what we would consider a gay bar. I know of a "boy" bar in a province well away from Bangkok. There are a couple of short time rooms, and a telephone 'delivery service'. The 'delivery service' is not uncommon in some other areas. I know of a group of gays who hold wild parties in Buriram. I've met gays in Kamphengphet province who have a busy gay social life. Its there, but few farangs are going to know about it or be included. There's a gay bar on Samet if anyone is interested.

[Fookhaht]

Oy vey. Just go to the nearest haircut shop with a gay looking barber....

Would you care to elaborate just exactly what that looks like?

[Jingthing]

Oy vey. Just go to the nearest haircut shop with a gay looking barber....

Would you care to elaborate just exactly what that looks like?

What's the matter, is your gaydar defective?

[Fookhaht]

Oy vey. Just go to the nearest haircut shop with a gay looking barber....

Would you care to elaborate just exactly what that looks like?

What's the matter, is your gaydar defective?

I don't think so. But if you're into stereotyping gay appearance or behavior, then yours certainly is!

[Jingthing]

Oy vey. Just go to the nearest haircut shop with a gay looking barber....

Would you care to elaborate just exactly what that looks like?

What's the matter, is your gaydar defective?

I don't think so. But if you're into stereotyping gay appearance or behavior, then yours certainly is!

Oh, no, nobody expects the Gay PC police!

Edited August 4, 2010 by Jingthing

[JohnLeech]

Oy vey. Just go to the nearest haircut shop with a gay looking barber....

Would you care to elaborate just exactly what that looks like?

What's the matter, is your gaydar defective?

I don't think so. But if you're into stereotyping gay appearance or behavior, then yours certainly is!

I think its JT's time machine that's defective, not his gaydar - firmly stuck in the 60's!

Unfortunately that doesn't stop him stereotyping to the max - "gays don't like ladyboys, believe me, I know!", etc, etc.

[Fookhaht]

Ya, you just found 'em!

As a gay man attracted to straight-acting/looking gay Thais (and, gawd, there are so many of 'em here!), I resist any attempt to stereotype gay behavior/appearance whether it be in Western TV/movies, among homophobic straight friends, or a gay forum in Thailand! C'mon, it's the 21st century now--even in Thailand!

[Jingthing]

OK, I can't believe I have to do this, defend some flippant humorous light comments here on the gay forum, but here goes, I am going to do it.

1. Gaydar --

Definition:

intuition about who is gay: the supposed instinctive ability of gay people to identify others who are also gay ( informal )

Note there is NOTHING in the definition about stereotypically gay anything. Also note I never mentioned anything either about stereotypically gay anything. If you made that assumption, it was in your head; a writer can't help what strange, flawed filters readers have, and they also can't help when a clearly light hearted/humorous comment is twisted into something serious.

As far as hair shops in the provinces, this is a personal experience I have had, as a potential place to find info on small town gay life. This is actually much more pronounced in the Philippines, if you don't believe me ask anyone from a small town in the Philippines if it is true. It was a helpful tip told in jest; I don't deserve to be roasted over the fire about it.

So you like "straight acting/looking" men (whatever that is)? Interesting that you say it is ME who is stereotyping gay behaviors and you use the incredibly questionable term straight acting (many feel the use of this term is a signal for internalized homophobia).

Edited August 7, 2010 by Jingthing

[Fookhaht]

Jingthing: Post #16

Just go to the nearest haircut shop with a gay looking barber.

Anybody see a stereotype in that statement?

If he's GAY-LOOKING, does one need JT's enigmatic GAYDAR?

Thou protesteth too much, JT. You said it. Can't get out of it.

Edited August 7, 2010 by Fookhaht

[Jingthing]

Jingthing: Post #16

Just go to the nearest haircut shop with a gay looking barber.

Anybody see a stereotype in that statement?

If he's GAY-LOOKING, does one need JT's enigmatic GAYDAR?

Thou protesteth too much, JT. You said it. Can't get out of it.

I have said all I am going to say on this trivial matter. May I humbly suggest that you try out your games on someone who wants to play with you.

Change of topic, are people interested in a new thread to discuss the term straight acting (as it was introduced here)? I am one of those people who think its kind of offensive and an indicator of internalized homophobia when people use the term to describe themselves or what they are looking for. Do blacks advertise they are "white acting" and looking only for "white acting blacks"? No, they don't. Anyway, if there is interest in this, someone start a thread please or express interest to me and I will. If no interest is expressed, I won't bother. Thanks.

Edited August 7, 2010 by Jingthing

[Fookhaht]

I have said all I am going to say on this trivial matter. May I humbly suggest that you try out your games on someone who wants to play with you, preferably someone straight acting enough for you.

Well, since you humbly suggested it, I'll defer to your wishes (especially the "straight-acting" part! Thanks!)