Tornado Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 I have read this thread from start to finish and have no comment on peoples ideas fo what they want in a partner. Up to them! What I do see with many farang blokes in Thailand is the need to have a go at Farang women - I dont understand that as their mothers, sisters etc are also farang women. To generalise is so easy and I think we all do it sometimes as is evident in all sexes posting on this thread. I love all women, but I agree it seems harder to keep some farang women satisfied - but maybe thats my problem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BambinA Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Would he pick a Thai girl or another farang? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> He will pick a good ,nice,kind and smart girl..no matter what farang or thai lady Bambi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meadish_sweetball Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Would he pick a Thai girl or another farang? He will pick a good ,nice,kind and smart girl..no matter what farang or thai lady Bambi Fully agree that it doesnt matter what nationality. The thing is, we know nothing about this hypothetical man. For all we know, he could pick a sheep without legs, a schizophrenic three-headed llama or a piece of cardboard and a pair of purple badminton rackets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totster Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 For all we know, he could pick a sheep without legs, <{POST_SNAPBACK}> If he were kiwi/welsh then it would be more of a certainty... I could see the advantage of the sheep having no legs... it wouldn't be able to run away from the over amorous kiwi/welsh lover... totster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 my question for meadish is..... why purple? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meadish_sweetball Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 ...not saying... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
opothai Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 this topic has gone one way then the other but a good read and it all comes down to your own personal prefference without upsetting any body a few friends myself included have chosen thai women above falang women because we preffer the women to look after the house and children and have been succesful enough to afford that luxiory, we certainly are not cave men it is just something that appeals to our way of life. the falang lady does not in general agree with that way of life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OxfordWill Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 I dont understand that as their mothers, sisters etc are also farang women. Bingo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TokyoT Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 What I do see with many farang blokes in Thailand is the need to have a go at Farang women - I dont understand that as their mothers, sisters etc are also farang women. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Maybe their mom used to beat them but not their sister? Now they carry a hatred for farang women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totster Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 What I do see with many farang blokes in Thailand is the need to have a go at Farang women - I dont understand that as their mothers, sisters etc are also farang women. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Simple... blokes don't want to shag/marry their mothers/sisters, therefore they are a different entity.. totster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaibebop Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 What I do see with many farang blokes in Thailand is the need to have a go at Farang women - I dont understand that as their mothers, sisters etc are also farang women. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Maybe their mom used to beat them but not their sister? Now they carry a hatred for farang women. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> They just don't want to see past their own experiences. My mother was not the greatest woman, the stories I could tell still might get her locked up. All my female friends used me for their own gain, different for all. All the woman (save my wife) I have been involed with abused me verbal and stole things and slept with my "friends". I have ever reason to hate woman, but I know that I just had some really bad luck, and not all woman are my former lovers, friends, or my mother. Thank Buddha, or I would have never gotten married and had a daughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Globestroller Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 WOW! 23 pages of reading is a lot of reading! Interesting discussion though. There was a point made by one lady that women still have to fight to get the same salary (than men) for the same work/qualigfication. As a point of clarification (even though I know it's a bit ... off-topic). Actually, research has revealed that in the US (and most likely most Western states) SINGLE women and SINGLE men make about the SAME wage for equal work/qualification. However, still today MARRIED women and MARRIED/SINGLE MEN of the same age do not. This is not because employers discriminate women, but because women have kids and take time off, which gives them less experience than a male equal her age and with equal qualification. And, the spread is exacerbated when married men are "forced" to feed the whole family (and the wife) because they would typically ask for promotions and work harder and longer hours to get those. At the end though, in general, discrimination does not occur anymore in Western states. (MISMATCH, 2003?) Now, I find the situation of women penalized for having had children to be unacceptable. On the other hand, not many Western women I know are ok with the idea of sharing raising children equally, so maybe it is fair. Furthermore, whether or not companies can/will provide that kind of flexibility of allowing men to take time off to raise children too remains to be seen. I have observed though that many women who are taking time off to have children seem to also take university courses and upgrade their qualifications, which allow them to get better positions than males? Any truth to that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteShiva Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 I have ever reason to hate woman, but I know that I just had some really bad luck, and not all woman are my former lovers, friends, or my mother. Thank Buddha, or I would have never gotten married and had a daughter. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Spot on Thaibebop! Some people seem to want to put the sins & shortcomings (real or percieved) of past partners onto their next relationship. Or onto other men/women. "my ex-wife was a b1tch, hence all farang women are b1tches...." etc, etc A bit childish, really..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Globestroller Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 ON TOPIC Most Western women, in general, want it all. In dating they want to be treated like most women were treated before the days when women were dependent on men AND want to be given equal say on all matters after AND expect men to work just as hard in raising children. I don't have an issue with women having equal say on all matters in a relationship. However, dating rituals of the past have to go. That's what I find most disturbing with some/most Western women is that they don't seem to be fair in their demand. Is there anyone who does not want to be "romanced"? Who does not want to be "pursued"? Who does not want to be given the leisure to dispose after one has proposed? Who does not want to be driven home? Picked up from home? Given the choice of going to places? Being offered a drink? A meal? Having the nerve to ask someone out/propose to someone who might (sometimes rudely) reject them? I personally would love to receive hundred of messages when I post an ad on a dating website (research has proven that most/all males don't even close to getting 1/10 of what females get). I would love to be wine and dined and not have to pay a dime! 2nd point: Most Western women have been told that males have to work after work hours to raise their children/help out with domestic chores. I think that this is not a fair demand. Often the male is chosen by the female because he has a good work/profession and, thus, he has more responsibilities, more stress, and therefore should not be asked to do the same amount of chores than the women who is staying at home with the children. 3rd point: Divorces are ugly and usually Western men usually get the short stick at the end. This has to change. 4th point: Most women use sex to get what they want. This is so paradoxical because men have more to lose when mating occur (two more mouths to feed and a lot more stress than if the male was to stay alone). In fact, logically, it should be that females should be doing a whole lot more to get the men to want to spend that extra effort to feed two more mouths. I know this is inherently unfair because women have inherited that part, but technically --if men wanted-- women should be the ones doing the chasing and the persuading. Let's face it! WOmen seem to be much more interested in having kids (and maybe sex) than males who are mostly interested in having sex. I don't see many males going to babies in the street and making small talk with them,... 5th: Most Western women are most certainly interested (still today) about a guy who makes lots of money (especially now that divorces laws will make them win the case almost automatically). (Just put a salary of $150,000 on a dating website with a somewhat decent picture and profile if you doubt what I am saying.) Now, it is also true that most women now will settle for the young TDH (tall, dark, and handome) guy (even though he might not make lots of money for casual sex, until they find someone more stable or they want to have kids. They still might have kids with that guy (by mistake or by design). In any case, she will have a kid (some alimony) and the possibility to get another guy (especially if she is deemed attractive). Now, are Thai women the same? I'll let others respond as I have yet to go to Thailand! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 You know, I am seriously considering closing this topic as it takes a large part of my day checking on it to make sure we haven't had someone get out of hand!!! All kidding aside, it has been an interesting thread and it is nice to see that it has only degenerated into nasty name calling a few times. We get a large cross-section of nationalities but mostly young people (18-25) and their attitudes (men and women) are markedly different from the ones I see posted here. Many of the girls do the pursuing. Many of the boys prefer an independent woman. So, perhaps there was a transition phase that we have gone through and young people have managed to come out the other side? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meadish_sweetball Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 In that age (18-25) they are still playing and looking for a holiday romance/shag. In my experience very few Swedish youth, at any rate, get serious before 30. Also, the Phangan crowd seems to be less conservative than on other destinations. The islands and tourist spots tend to develop a bit of a culture of their own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OxfordWill Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 We get a large cross-section of nationalities but mostly young people (18-25) and their attitudes (men and women) are markedly different from the ones I see posted here. Many of the girls do the pursuing. Many of the boys prefer an independent woman. So, perhaps there was a transition phase that we have gone through and young people have managed to come out the other side? Maybe, but I and the friends I have told you about all fall directly into that age bracket. Also we have to be very careful with the word 'independent' because I don't know many Thai girls who are not independent (if that's what you suggest). Im sure you agree it would be wrong to confuse a loyalty to ones family or a preference for companionship with a lack of independence. I find that Thai girls tend not to ask but to do, whereas western girls the same age tend to ask before they do. But, both groups have independence. Have you got any examples to support your suggestion that most boys aged 18-25 have markedly different attitudes to the ones posted here? Obviously it only counts if they have had experience of both sides of the fence. Personally, having met many people my age who have come to Bangkok to study, often not out of choice but due to their parents, I find the opinions in this thread mirrored in the younger generation. Well, nobody is pining for a girl from their own race, let's put it that way (and imagine how easy it would be if you were, thanks to KSR (been there, done that)). I also dont see many farang girls pining for a boy from their own race either, but I have considerably less experience with female farangs (in a friendship sense) in Thailand. Then again, I haven't been in Thailand (or generally alive, for that matter) as long as most of you, so I am yet to learn all there is to learn on the subject. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Oxfordwill, we have a bungalow resort with 20 rooms. We are full every month for the party and generally busy the rest of the time. So, let's say I meet between 30-50 new people every month (not counting the inbetween times). We've had the resort 4 years, before that a restaurant that was busy about 6 months out of the year (but I dont' really count that because I never really had a chance to talk with my customers the way I have with our guests). So, conservatively, I have met (and conversed with, remember, these people are essentially living with me and my husband) between 1400-2500 people in the past 4 years. A very few of these have been over the age of 30. Most of them have been travellers, taking a year off before starting their working lives or having worked for several years to take a year or two off to travel and see the world before settling down. Many many of those have been couples, some have split up, some have married (some have had kids already!). What I mean by independent is the idea that their wife will work, that they won't follow the old ideas of wife takes care of everything at home while husband goes out to work that many of the men have espoused on this forum. Most take it for granted that both will be working and accept that as a fact of life rather than moan on about how times have changed. That is what I meant but perhaps didn't make entirely clear. And yes, I do talk with most of them (its what makes people enjoy their stay here, they feel engaged and involved). They ask about my life, my thinking (since I seem so alien to most of them) and I ask about theirs. I have seen with my own two eyes many girls pursuing guys (which is what one previous poster complained did not happen) I have seen many guys who do the "traditionally female" chores just as I have seen vice versa. I don't believe the men on this forum speak for a majority. Also, random, people have a funny idea of Koh P and backpackers. Most of the people who have stayed with us have been all over Thailand, including the more "mainstream" places like Samui and Phuket as well as the more out of the way places like Pai. None of the people I have met have ever come to Thailand to go exclusively to Koh Phangan or to the party. All have been travelling for some time or plan on travelling for awhile. So, the idea that they are different from people staying in other places is rather unbelievable since they are the ones staying in other places too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OxfordWill Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 And yes, I do talk with most of them (its what makes people enjoy their stay here, they feel engaged and involved). They ask about my life, my thinking (since I seem so alien to most of them) and I ask about theirs. I have seen with my own two eyes many girls pursuing guys (which is what one previous poster complained did not happen) I have seen many guys who do the "traditionally female" chores just as I have seen vice versa. I don't believe the men on this forum speak for a majority. Ah, I assumed you meant that the attitudes in question were whether or not Thai girls were seen as more desirable than western girls. I fully agree that the chores and so on are a thing less cared about by my generation. I do my fair share of those (maybe slightly less than my fair share nowadays, I seemed to do much more with farang girlfriends). Girls definitely do pursue guys, yes. I took you too specifically, thinking that we were only talking about which type of female is seen as more desirable, and forgot about the other opinions expressed on this thread as to roles. Independence though - my generation at least, you ask a Thai girl my age what she wants to do in future and it might as well be a western girl answering. For me personally the difference is in the behavioural level, and as previously mentioned, how the ego (self) of another is handled day to day. Hopefully after all this you won't lump all men in this thread into one basket, as it seems everyone has a very particular opinion on this subject and by no means do all us men agree, even if we seem to at the first glance. Your definition of independence is not exclusive to any one race, guys my age do prefer independent women (in so far as, very few want an ill educated puppy who needs constant attention) but independent women are just as common in Thailand as England. Therefore, whether or not a boy prefers independent women is a moot point for me, although I do see why you make it and that its in reply to some posters who have stated a preference for the traditional roles (I flirted earlier with an opinion that traditional roles are more or less natural, but that was purely hypothetical on my part). Anyhow, I take your side on the issue of independence, my friends would too. So where is this bungalow and what sort of discount are you going to offer me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meadish_sweetball Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Looking to be 'pursued' then, Will? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 fact of it remains, whatrever your reasons for your own personal preferences doens't mean that your are a spokesperson for the whole world & that anyone of you have the right to try to tell me (or other women) how to behave. You'll find someone who suits your needs so no need to get your knickers in a twist at what the rest of us are up to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 But Oxfordwill, you are in Bangkok and city girls can be a very different kettle of fish from rural girls. As for life here, some of the tales I could tell would make your hair curl!! Makes me feel like a prude, some of these kids, and I was hardly pure as the driven snow when I was younger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meadish_sweetball Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 I have always wanted curly hair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OxfordWill Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 (edited) Looking to be 'pursued' then, Will? Kindly fill out this application.. no need to get your knickers in a twist at what the rest of us are up to. but Oxfordwill, you are in Bangkok and city girls can be a very different kettle of fish from rural girls. Absolutely agree, and I did qualify that by mentioning bangkok. Rural life, can be very different. As for life here, some of the tales I could tell would make your hair curl!! Makes me feel like a prude, some of these kids, and I was hardly pure as the driven snow when I was younger. Hm, doubt it, but both you and I have a certain reputation to protect. Incidentally I just got back from the clinic - clean bill of health. Edited August 1, 2005 by OxfordWill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayo Posted August 9, 2005 Share Posted August 9, 2005 I have always wanted curly hair. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> And I´ve always wanted a furry... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boon Mee Posted August 9, 2005 Share Posted August 9, 2005 I was hardly pure as the driven snow when I was younger. And here I've always put you on the proverbial pedestal of virtue and chasteness, sbk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totster Posted August 9, 2005 Share Posted August 9, 2005 I have always wanted curly hair. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> And I´ve always wanted a furry... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> ...a furry what..?? totster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jai Dee Posted August 9, 2005 Share Posted August 9, 2005 I have always wanted curly hair. And I´ve always wanted a furry... ...a furry what..?? totster tut tut totster... I know what you're thinking... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boon Mee Posted August 9, 2005 Share Posted August 9, 2005 I have always wanted curly hair. And I´ve always wanted a furry... ...a furry what..?? totster tut tut totster... I know what you're thinking... Don't keep us in suspense...what's he thinking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totster Posted August 9, 2005 Share Posted August 9, 2005 Don't keep us in suspense...what's he thinking? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> You're probably better off not knowing... it's quite shocking.. totster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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