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[bigbeetle]

Hello Thaivisa members,

I am looking for a psychotherapist for my thai girlfriend, to make a long story short: we live together 100 km north of CM on the countryside, she suffers from depression and feelings of lost and guild and sometimes she is also paranoid, a lot of bad things happens in her past, for example two ex-partners died after she left them. I know her for two and a halve year now and I tried a lot to make her happy and sometimes she is very happy but it can change in a second and then she becomes very closed and moody for days. When we talk about that she don't understand what happens in her mind, this makes her (and me) very unhappy. It is impossible to make plans with her because she always thinks something bad will happen or that I will leave her, very hard to live with.

But I don't want to loose her because I love her very much and she is a very unique person, when I talked to people who know her for a long time they all say to me that she was never like this.

So if somebody can recommend us a good psychotherapist, doesn't matter thai or farang because she speaks very good english.

Any advice or recommendation welcome in a PM please.

Thanks in advance!

[elektrified]

You might start at Suan Prung Hospital.

[uptheos]

You might start at Suan Prung Hospital.

Absolutely agree.

The range and type of symptoms displayed need thorough assessment by a psychiatrist first, who may decide on a course of medication to help bring them under control.

Now is not the time for psychotherapy.

Good luck

[PlanetX]

I will preface this by saying I am not a licensed psychotherapist

There are usually two routes professional help will go for cases similar to this

1) diagnosis of mental disorder + medication

2) Attempts at building trust through lengthy conversations with ultimate goal of helping her help herself by taking control of her feelings

I would be careful with the medication route. Many antidepressants do take the edge off but it will not return her to her previous self, only numb her present condition

Depression, anxiety and paranoia are extremely common. Anyone that watches the news for 5 minutes usually becomes slightly depressed. Soap Operas can also promote depression and anxiety to make the viewer feel compelled to continue watching to see if everything turns out OK

I would pay close attention to the things that seem to trigger the depressed/ anxious/ paranoid states and slowly try to help your girlfriend limit them

I have also found that using the beautiful countryside to get away and relax with her usually has positive effects

You can also encourage her to project and therefore attract positive energy - simple examples

1) Making her a special teddy bear/ doll that she can keep that symbolizes the special love that the two of you share

2) Wearing a small quartz crystal can often have healing properties

3) Planning small special trips together - I understand that she is hesitant to do this, but gently nudge her to help you plan some fun activities

4) Focusing on the small joys in life - point out little things that make living such an amazing gift

5) Try and help her avoid caffeine, MSG, drugs/medication and make sure she is getting a proper diet of fruits, vegetables, etc

6) It might sounds cliche, but some of the older Hollywood movies are really nice to watch together -- its a wonderful life, etc

7) Help her start a new hobby - focuses her energy on positive creation - painting, writing, volunteering are all rewarding

If she watches a lot of TV, try and help her replace that time with a few new hobbies --- TV can make even the strongest minds feel worn down, depressed, anxious, etc

Love is the greatest healing force in our world, so to have someone like you in her life is usually the best first step

Edited October 20, 2010 by PlanetX

[Chelsean]

Absolutely agree. The range and type of symptoms displayed need thorough assessment by a psychiatrist first, who may decide on a course of medication to help bring them under control. Now is not the time for psychotherapy.

Disregard: a psychiatrist is a specialized physician and has received less formal education on psychology as a psychologist. A psychotherapist could as well have the career of a psychologist or a psychiatrist. They were just trained to counsel after their studies of medicine or psychology. Nevertheless, both should be able to diagnose correctly.

The difference of a psychiatrist and a psychologist is their different approach to the matter and that each one will say that the other one is not needed. The psychiatrist will say "it's all chemistry" while the psychologist will say "real changes will have to come from your inside".

Btw, I would try both.

For further information on the differences and what they have in common see this page

[dave2]

electrifieds advice might be a good start

re ... You might start at Suan Prung Hospital.

here ...... good luck : )

dave2

[orang37]

Sawasdee Khrup, Khun BigBeetle,

Please accept sincere empathies for the painful difficulty of seeing someone you love and care for unhappy and depressed. Only natural to feel frustrated that what you do is not having tangible effects. This Lady is very lucky to have a loving person, like you, in her life that cares enough about her to seek help !

Will reply to you via PM about some resources in Chiang Mai area. You can search on this forum on the words:

psychotherapy

mental health

psychiatrist

counselling or counseling

psychologist

depression

And find some discussions in the past with specific details on various therapists in Chiang Mai.

best, ~o:37;

[bigbeetle]

Hello,

Thanks for all the reactions, but I still did not found what I am looking for, I realise a psychiatrist is more suitable for my girlfriend's symptoms than a psychologist, but to go to the Suan Prung Hospital is a step too far I"m afraid.

If we talk about these things (if possible), then her biggest fear is to end up in a mental hospital...

What I was thinking of some smaller step to get her to do something about herself, maybe talk first with a trustful, gentle but above all professional person, I think I have only one chance to get her to do something.

Over the years I did a lot of homework about mental disorders and I am afraid that she is suffering from borderline personality disorder, she shows symptoms of that.

I don't know what to do anymore, I tried a lot: giving her trust, love and hours and hours of talking but it is so hard to get back so less and see the feelings of distrust, fear, anger and unhappiness in her behavior, as I said before sometimes she is happy, especially when we see new things, I took her this summer too Europe for the first time in her life and most of the time we had a good time, but back home it is the same as usual.

As it stays like this I cannot do anything else than leave her, because I cannot be her doctor and I must think about my own happiness, but if I leave her it will be with a lot of pain in my heart, and I don't want to think what will happen with her......

[CobraSnakeNecktie]

What about finding a specialist in BKK who can use Skype for video conferencing? If your internet connection is decent then it could help you use a better specialist and save you time and petrol by not having to travel.

Rigorous exercise btw is one of the proven effective anti depressants. Demanding yoga/meditation practice can soothe a lot of personality and inner voice issues.

Good luck

[realthaideal]

Though Suan Prung often takes the medicate first and rehabilitate second approach, perhaps there's a chance of finding some outpatient therapy there which will reassure her she's just going to talk, not to check in.

Btw.... there's a great book out there by a Stanford Psychiatrist ( first saw/ heard of him on PBS back in the US)who combines therapy -drugs included - with brain scans to target actual areas of the brain which are either overactive or underactive. He does this rather than take pot-shot guesses and trying every psychoactive drug under the sun as an approach to helping jumpstart the recovery/ functionality process. The book - I remarkably found a used copy of it at Gecko when my ex-gf was living with me. It's called 'Change Your Brain, Change Your Life' and recommends several prescriptions for proper diet, words, thoughts, and ways to actually change our neurotransmitter activity. Incredible book. He especially focuses on ways to defeat "ANT's" (Automatic Negative Thoughts) that people with depression offer suffer from. Perhaps you could use this book in conjunction with another approach and simply introduce and explain the subject to her by translation. Much of this book follows what would almost be Buddhist doctrine of right thought and clear and present mind, and should make intuitive sense to most Thais.

I'm a relatively stable guy, but this book has even enhanced my daily life. Putting your brain on a right-thoughts diet takes a while, but has eventual good results.

[james24]

You might start at Suan Prung Hospital.

Absolutely agree.

The range and type of symptoms displayed need thorough assessment by a psychiatrist first, who may decide on a course of medication to help bring them under control.

Now is not the time for psychotherapy.

Good luck

Totally disagree

Don't go anywhere near medication untill you have exhausted everything else. Actaully research these drugs and you'll see the side effects to a personality is often a hel_l of alot worse than the problem. Seriously she has to see her problem first otherwise youll get knowhere, all advicde will fall on deaf ears. If this is a part of her personality that didnt use to be there she is probably aware of it, she might just need therapy, really.

Drugs dont fix things they just hide them.

Edited November 1, 2010 by james24

[uptheos]

You might start at Suan Prung Hospital.

Absolutely agree.

The range and type of symptoms displayed need thorough assessment by a psychiatrist first, who may decide on a course of medication to help bring them under control.

Now is not the time for psychotherapy.

Good luck

Totally disagree

Don't go anywhere near medication untill you have exhausted everything else. Actaully research these drugs and you'll see the side effects to a personality is often a hel_l of alot worse than the problem. Seriously she has to see her problem first otherwise youll get knowhere, all advicde will fall on deaf ears. If this is a part of her personality that didnt use to be there she is probably aware of it, she might just need therapy, really.

Drugs dont fix things they just hide them.

OP - Lots of different advice, but you know your girlfriend better than anyone here and whether you go with the medical or psychotherapeutic model, it seems to me that you should make a decision quickly to get her to a Thai specialist who she feels she can trust, before you both crack up.

"Seeing her problem first" is easier said than done, people suffering depression, paranoia or as you have concluded borderline personality, are not able to view their life experiences positively or objectively and able to do something about it.....often with psychotherapy alone the condition worsens.

Get to a specialist for advice!

Edited November 1, 2010 by uptheos

[realthaideal]

And making situations most difficult as well.... the person must also see that/ want to pursue something different than status quo. Help and change can only really come when the other party is willing. I don't envy the op's situation, and indeed he may find himself the one needing some therapy and support as this is surely one roller coaster of an experience to support someone going thru difficult mental times. I have been there b4 and found that it all but exhausted my emotional and brain RAm resources...it takes alot. Best of luck to you.