Sick Of Being Called 'Papa'

[geriatrickid]

I have never heard of anyone using the term "papa". I would think that if I hang around in the Sodom and Gomorrah of the South, Patong that I would have heard term this at least once. I've been called Dr. Clip, Khoon Bak, uaan as in the expression uaan thuahn ( cheeky buggers ) and Cone. Actually, I think it was khohn. That tossed me for a loop. Did they mean A guy from Durban like one of my old classmates Nick Cohen? He was cool. He always snagged a beautiful girl and he always had weed. Thing is he was tall and blond, something I'm not. Or maybe they meant the pitcher for the Mets Davey Cone, or was it a sly comment on my poor fashion sense or brilliant intellect ala Borat as in Sacha Baron Cohen?

I dunno? As long as they make me doubles and charge me for singles it doesn't matter.

Oh jeez, could the papa thing be related to one's performance in the bed chambers? If so, I think I might qualify as unimpressive. Move over Enrique Iglesias.

[craigt3365]

I've never been a fan of go go bars, but a friend got me into one about 6 months ago. He is 74 and a regular. One of the girls immediately welcomed him by saying "Hello, papa!". And I guess she was right on...or maybe it should have been "Hello, great grand papa!"?

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Yup. Most of the people getting called Papa should take it as a compliment.. Papas tend to be thirty-something. Papas of working girls tend to be forty-something. But the crusty-farang bridgade is easily 20 years older.

I look forward to achieving the title of 'uncle' in another 10-20 years or so.

[Scott]

I don't really like being called Farang, followed by you, you, you. I had never been called papa until this year. We have a little 3 year old Nursery boy at our school. He's the cutest little kid, with big bright eyes and a smile that could melt the polar ice cap. I don't have anything to do with his class, but when I would walk by, the teacher would try to get the children to say 'good morning, how are you?' They are pretty young, but he was the first one who said it very clearly. The other students addressed me as Teacher, but he calls me papa.

According to his teacher, his father was killed in an accident. I am really quite honored by it and I now never walk by the class without talking to him (and the rest of the students).

Gramps gets me a little ticked off, though.

[richieudon]

There's not much wrong with being called Papa as far as I'm concerned.

My wife calls me Papa and I'm only 2 years older than her.

I think she calls me this because our daughter does

I call her Mare sometimes.

It's a Thai thing. If I go to the market and buy some fish off the old lady there I will say "Yai, tow rai krap"

If I see a man a little older than me I will call him "lung' or an older man 'Por'

You call kids 'Nong' or cheeky little boys "bag hum noi"

It's a Thai thing and I quite like it. I don't think it's people being disrespectful. It's their way man, get over it.

[dom samui]

If you don't like getting called Papa,then ask to be called : Mama.

[corkman]

In public, if my Mrs. (she is 32 / Im 33) is addressing an older (thai) person, she will address them as "ba" or "bo" which is "granny" or "grandad".

If they were a few years older, she would address them "pee".

If they were similar in age, it would be "khun"

and if younger, "nong".

For the most part "papa" is a translation of sorts and is just a representation of how they would address a thai person of similar age.

I am not saying for one minute that some people arent taking the p!$$ - and there are of course situation where the term is used to denote some other meaning......

I think a lot of the negativity here is coming from the experience of sexpats, whose "girlfriends" are simpy girls that have agreed to "stop working" at the sexpats favourite bar in order that the sexpat can avoid the annoying daily bar fine charge...... "to save money" ...... ha ha ...... because its "cheaper" to keep and maintain a "girlfriend" than a "bar girl"..... choosing instead to absorb those regular home payments, day-to-day expenses like salons and shopping etc., not to mention food and board, the motorbike (which again is cheaper than renting), the sick buffaloe, the odd tatoo or breat enlargement, couple of gold chains and i-phones...... and by some magical phenominon which has escaped scientists for years a £20 quid a night hooker is transformed into a "thai lady"....... withdraw that funding and lets see how long it takes for the princess to revert back to a frog.......

My point here - although seemingly unrelated, is two fold:

(1) When dealing with bar girls and the like, do not expect any semblence or logic, reason, or normality. I do not mean to suggest (nor do I believe) that they are devoid of huminaty or beyond recovery, nor do I mean to suggest that when they call you "papa" that they do or do not have some hidden meaning - all I am suggesting here is that they are not trying to insult you and are probably viewing the old westerner as a piece of meat that they can screw for a few quid..... that seems injust considering the high esteem that older western men hold bar girls in...... I cannot imagine any western man viewing a bar girl as a "peice of meat to screw" for a "few quid".

(2) When asking or receiving advice from westerners or any age that have spent most, if not all of their time in the company of hookers and their hooker friends...... or if their now long term girlfriend or wife is an ex-hooker, then there is a high liklihood that their opinion and experience of "living" within Thai society could be somewhat biased (or tarnished) by the social and moral standards of the company that they keep.

The point made above is aimed at the suggestion that by calling their partner "papa" thai women are communicating to their friends that "this old geezer is just a pay-day for me"...... or any other similar suggestions.

When my parents are here, my maid calls them mama and papa (depsite me calling them Mum & Dad).

When we go to smaller hotels, and bring my parents there, the staff there call them mama and papa.

When I bring them to my wifes home, they all call them mama and papa.

Its quite common, and is a term of endearment, not malice or disrespect. I know my wife would be quick to repremand anyone if she thought they were taking the p!$$. I can understand how an older guy might hear "papa" and understand it as "old fart" or "sugar daddy", but in both my opinion and experience this is not (generally) the case. It is one of those things that, as foreigners in this country, we just need to put down to cultural experience and accept that no offence is intended.

As far as Thais calling as a farangs all the time, I concur it gets tiresome, but I do not feel it is intended as a mark of disrespect. One could jump to conclusions and liken it to a bunch of white guys referring to their lack freind in third person as "nigger", but as an Irishman living and working with predominantly Australian and English expats I am referred to as "Paddy" ....... I could get my knickkers in twist about it, but it is not intended as an insult and it is not received as such. There are plenty of derogatory things that Thais could call us, and if they intended to poke fun at us behind our backs then they would use less obvious words than "farang".

Edited December 19, 2010 by corkman

[corkman]

I don't really like being called Farang, followed by you, you, you. I had never been called papa until this year. We have a little 3 year old Nursery boy at our school. He's the cutest little kid, with big bright eyes and a smile that could melt the polar ice cap. I don't have anything to do with his class, but when I would walk by, the teacher would try to get the children to say 'good morning, how are you?' They are pretty young, but he was the first one who said it very clearly. The other students addressed me as Teacher, but he calls me papa.

According to his teacher, his father was killed in an accident. I am really quite honored by it and I now never walk by the class without talking to him (and the rest of the students).

Gramps gets me a little ticked off, though.

"farang, you, you, you"...... thats usually a tout selling ping pong shows or "real armani suit sir, 3 for the price of one"...... I concur - they are <deleted>, but are to be ignored along with the street beggars and lady boys.

"gramps" - yep, I can say with reasonable certainty, they are taking the.......

[dom samui]

PAPA: Professional/Amateur Pinball Association

[IanForbes]

Good story, Scott. Take it as it comes. My father was an old prude and never screwed around with other women, but he certainly enjoyed the attention of attractive women right up to his last days on earth. He was still flirting with the nurses two days before he died. Any heterosexual male who says he isn't attracted to pretty women, whatever they do for a living, is either a liar or a hypocrite,

[Brewsta]

When I hear 'Papa' from my chldren it is the most lovely sound in the world.

Sounds like you deserve to be called papa.

Nice thought......hmmmmm......Both my kids (4 yr son and & 7 yr old daughter) AND my Thai wife call me Daddy.....Financial Love?

Confused of Chiang Mai

Edited December 19, 2010 by Brewsta

[Parvis]

This is not about people who don't know me calling me 'Papa', but about those who do know me, but still call me 'Papa' even after I've told them I don't like it and to use my actual name instead.

I don't view it as a mark of respect either, but rather one of pure laziness on the part of the individuals who use it.

I agree with Beetlejuice though. I don't regard myself as being old at all, but my hair has gone grey and that seems to mean I've been awarded the accolade 'Papa' wherever I decide to go in Thailand now.

Seems to object to being called 'Papa' is only offensive to those with a low self-esteem. Therefore the 'recipient' is at fault not the 'deliverer' who just uses a 'descriptive term'.

We are all getting older - but some of us find it hard to accept.

We cannot control directly what people think of us - nor what they call us (especially behind our backs) - but we can control our treatment of them and our reaction to them.

If you are 'proactive' - there is hardly ever a reason to be 'reactive'.

Edited December 19, 2010 by Parvis

[appropriate]

Papa...

Them showing respect for their elder.

You getting all pissed off due to your cultural ignorance.

[anterian]

When people call me farang I call them Xecheīy (เอเชีย), they get the point

In my village most call me either Ian or Khun Ian, young kids call me uncle Ian or lung Ian, depending on their awareness of English. Also all have adopted a wave or a nod to me rather than a wai. A few call me acharn, my former career.

My age puzzles them, whilst most know I am nearly 75, I don't look decrepid like a Thai would and can defeat most of the males at arm wrestling, so they are never sure whether to treat me as another adult or as an elder to respect. My partner is always telling me of my social gaffes, but I think the village would be disappointed if I went culturally native. Basically, it does not matter what they call you, it is the tone of voice which is important.

[tim armstrong]

My wife started to call me 'moo-un' (fat pig) early on in our relationship. She managed to convince me that it was a term of affection for Thais to say. I told her that it would take some time for me to come to terms with it, and if she said that in Oz, she would have a few problems. She doesn't use it anymore. On the question of Papa, I see it like the local water tower- also called 'Bpapa' I believe. I think that's Ok as the water tower is the giver of life etc. So I don't really mind Papa, although by now the locals know my name.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Actually my wife calls me Papa most of the time. It's an achievement.

[neverdie]

I have a great niece that calls me grandma

Theres a few of us people around here that also call you various names, the general jist is they always start with the world old <snip>.

Ive always seen you as a 'senior' figure .

its been nice knowing you all

[IanForbes]

I have a great niece that calls me grandma

Theres a few of us people around here that also call you various names, the general jist is they always start with the world old <snip>.

Ive always seen you as a 'senior' figure .

its been nice knowing you all

yer walkin on thin ice there, Neverdie. You might lose your handle.

[neverdie]

I have a great niece that calls me grandma

Theres a few of us people around here that also call you various names, the general jist is they always start with the world old <snip>.

Ive always seen you as a 'senior' figure .

its been nice knowing you all

yer walkin on thin ice there, Neverdie. You might lose your handle.

Now u've quoted it, i cant even delete OMG . Of course the word I snipped was 'moderator', so she would hardly take offence to it. WHY Ian, what were you thinking

[TAWP]

My gf calls me 'babe' and 'babie'...not sure what that says...

[StreetCowboy]

This is not about people who don't know me calling me 'Papa', but about those who do know me, but still call me 'Papa' even after I've told them I don't like it and to use my actual name instead.

I don't view it as a mark of respect either, but rather one of pure laziness on the part of the individuals who use it.

I agree with Beetlejuice though. I don't regard myself as being old at all, but my hair has gone grey and that seems to mean I've been awarded the accolade 'Papa' wherever I decide to go in Thailand now.

Mind, Xircal does not exactly trip off the tongue - not with a Thai accent, anyway.

Habve you tried adopting a monosyllabic nickname - Nut or Nob or something similarly easy for the thai palate?

SC

[transam]

My gf calls me 'babe' and 'babie'...not sure what that says...

I hate to tell you.

[TAWP]

My gf calls me 'babe' and 'babie'...not sure what that says...

I hate to tell you.

You have also figured out who wears the pants in this family?

[GEZMAC]

I've been coming to Thailand since my mid forties and because i was grey i was always called papa when in Pattaya, never called it anywhere else.Now i can't pass a bar hre without being called papa, they never get my custom.

[F1fanatic]

Good story, Scott. Take it as it comes. My father was an old prude and never screwed around with other women, but he certainly enjoyed the attention of attractive women right up to his last days on earth. He was still flirting with the nurses two days before he died. Any heterosexual male who says he isn't attracted to pretty women, whatever they do for a living, is either a liar or a hypocrite,

Don't doubt you for a minute.

Your father flirted with women that had no interest in him - they were American.

You're luckier - you're living in a country where they tell you you're incrediibly 'sexy' -even though you're in you're 60's /70's.......

Edited December 19, 2010 by F1fanatic

[IanForbes]

Don't doubt you for a minute.

Your father flirted with women that had no interest in him - they were American.

You're luckier - you're living in a country where they tell you you're incrediibly 'sexy' -even though you're in you're 60's /70's.......

But I AM incredibly sexy. They ALL can't be wrong. ... can they?

One thing gal, yo ain't nevah gon tah be called "Pappa" :lol:

[khaowong1]

Hi everybody

You may or may not be aware that Thai people do not use names the same as the rest of the world. How many times do you hear thais actually calling each other by their names, not very often. How many times do you hear "pee" .. "nong" ... and yes papa. Yes, Im the wrong side of 50 but seldom do i hear them call me "papa or any other name for that matter. Some names do give off certain connotations ... well for me they do. I hate hearing wives calling their husbands "theerak", Save it for the bars.

Really, whats in a name?

Howard (or papa if you prefer )

quite right.. this is Asia after all. not GB or the USA. people in these countries use different names for older people, not out of disresptect. get over it.

[samran]

This is not about people who don't know me calling me 'Papa', but about those who do know me, but still call me 'Papa' even after I've told them I don't like it and to use my actual name instead.

I don't view it as a mark of respect either, but rather one of pure laziness on the part of the individuals who use it.

I agree with Beetlejuice though. I don't regard myself as being old at all, but my hair has gone grey and that seems to mean I've been awarded the accolade 'Papa' wherever I decide to go in Thailand now.

Mind, Xircal does not exactly trip off the tongue - not with a Thai accent, anyway.

Habve you tried adopting a monosyllabic nickname - Nut or Nob or something similarly easy for the thai palate?

SC

both Richard, or "Dick" if shortened, are easily pronouceable.

[jazzbo]

We often use 'baby' as in Hello baby but I explained to her that comes from Bogart & Bacall and not referring to a rug-rat:

[jayceenik]

I've been called "Papa" since my early thirties when I discovered Siam. But back then the girls were younger than now.

I agree that if you're still young it creates a sort of social convention barrier between you and the girl.

But if you get what you want you forget it soon !