A Foolproof Way To Never Collide With A Thai

[electrozebra]

Feint left and sidestep right like any good rugby player when facing an oncoming opponent

[Familyonthemove]

In the interest of furthering the field of international behavioural science I tested the 'system' along Soi Chidlom and the Central World Skywalk. I can confirm that under field testing it is indeed very effective, with one caveat; If Kon Thai is on a mobile phone then the veering does not take place and a collision will occur with a 99.9% probability.

The tester also found that it was impossible to not make eye contact if the approaching walker was an attractive female. This problem was particularly common around Siam Paragon and required repeated retesting to confirm the results.

Edited March 25, 2011 by Familyonthemove

[Payboy]

A Foolproof Way To Never Collide With A Thai

Just walk like you're going to ask them something in English.

[Familyonthemove]

A Foolproof Way To Never Collide With A Thai

Just walk like you're going to ask them something in English.

That will just illicit the 'mai mee' reflex action.

[thaidiver]

When I read the Op I had a great laugh. Why because he is 100% accurate on the this subject, and I came to the exact same conclusion years ago. Also, every expat i know in BKK agrees unequivocally with his post. You must not wall much if you see it any other way!

[Berkshire]

Also, every expat i know in BKK agrees unequivocally with his post.

Which means absolutely zero in Thailand....

[Berkshire]

Don't get so arsey. We are all on here to discuss issues. Don't turn "everything written" to be anti Thai rhetoric. Some is for sure but not nearly to the extent that you make out. Loz has made a perfectly reasonable post and you fly off the handle. Why?

Please remember that not all "farangs are devils and please don't be so ashamed to be a 'farang." You clearly are. You are not born Thai whether you like it or not so this has eventually to be accepted.

You seem to have a very blinkered impression that this is a forum specifically to knock Thais which ofcourse it isn't. But then again there are some that will always make of something want they want and will never keep an open mind.

Frankly this constant farang bashing is getting very tedious and boring.

Have a nice day to one and all

Actually, carmine, you got me all wrong. It's not farang-bashing to call someone out for a nonsensical post....which is what I find myself doing most of the time. Would I rather be posting jolly, happy, group-hug type stuff? Certainly. But there's far too many wackos here posting ridiculous stuff that I have to interject a bit of rationality every once and again. And Loz certainly wasn't making a "perfectly reasonable post," but being rather condescending in a sarcastic way. I thought I took it quite well. You have a nice day as well, big boy!

[carmine]

Don't get so arsey. We are all on here to discuss issues. Don't turn "everything written" to be anti Thai rhetoric. Some is for sure but not nearly to the extent that you make out. Loz has made a perfectly reasonable post and you fly off the handle. Why?

Please remember that not all "farangs are devils and please don't be so ashamed to be a 'farang." You clearly are. You are not born Thai whether you like it or not so this has eventually to be accepted.

You seem to have a very blinkered impression that this is a forum specifically to knock Thais which ofcourse it isn't. But then again there are some that will always make of something want they want and will never keep an open mind.

Frankly this constant farang bashing is getting very tedious and boring.

Have a nice day to one and all

Actually, carmine, you got me all wrong. It's not farang-bashing to call someone out for a nonsensical post....which is what I find myself doing most of the time. Would I rather be posting jolly, happy, group-hug type stuff? Certainly. But there's far too many wackos here posting ridiculous stuff that I have to interject a bit of rationality every once and again. And Loz certainly wasn't making a "perfectly reasonable post," but being rather condescending in a sarcastic way. I thought I took it quite well. You have a nice day as well, big boy!

Please don't be calling me "big boy"

You, i think many would agree, are in no position to be accusing others of condescending posts are you. You are clearly educated and write well but its not very clever to use your education to belittle people. I, for one, an just saying that you should open your eyes and see both sides of the arguement. By this i don't mean being wound up by bigots.

Now lets have an end to the bickering, theres a good girl.

[onnut]

A Foolproof Way To Never Collide With A Thai

Just walk like you're going to ask them something in English.

Very good! Lol

[sunholidaysun1]

I had better take off my Mirror Sunglasses then .

[bangkokcitylimits]

Wearing a coat made of porcupine skin works also very good to avoid collisions, and you have always plenty of space in a songteaw !

[TheFishman1]

So when walking no eye contact look down in the direction you want to go.Walking around in Jerusalem you just look up

[Tod Daniels]

Sorry for the long follow up post but:

I have to interject a bit of rationality every once and again

It would appear this poster is taking more than a little 'creative license' with the definition of "rationality". It would also appear from the tone of the posts that they've progressed from ‘pin-on nappies' to 'pull-up-diapers' or like we call them in the US; wearing "big boy pants".

IN OTHER TOTALLY ON-TOPIC NEWS:

Since I made this post I've tested it in many locations thru-out greater Bangkok, even areas where Thais were "thick as ticks on a hound dog's back" <-American idiom denoting a large number, (NO denigration of Thais meant or intended ). In all this time I’ve still NOT experienced a single head-on collision with a Thai.

I've also observed by using this technique it's possible to "compel" Thais to alter their course; even if no collision is imminent. You can make them pass on the side you want them to by using this "look past them" technique. I personally find it amazing, as for the most part I've rarely met people less spatially aware of where they are in relation to other things in their perceived reality or their immediate vicinity.

That Thais can and do alter their course when this technique is used leads me to believe this behavioral pattern is quite possibly controlled by the part of the brain which controls the body without us being conscious of it rather than by another area. This "built-in" avoidance mechanism seems to rely on visual cues observed totally unconsciously as a Thai goes 'walk about'.

While my mind truly wobbled errr, boggled at these findings; I couldn't get my anthropology professor to buy off on it as a thesis topic.

FWIW: I still haven't worked out how to pass a Thai walking the same direction when I approach from behind and they are meandering back and forth randomly down the sidewalk. I've tried coughing, emitting a short high pitched whistle, and other techniques with little or no success. Invariably just as you go to walk past them, they 'lunge' into your path. I usually tense up my body in preparation for the collision. Given the fact that for the most part Thais are diminutive; all too often they come out on the 'short end of the stick' in these types of same direction collisions.

I do offer a heartfelt apology to the readers if my acerbic, cynical, overly dry, "call-it-as-I-see-it" sense of humor is lost on anyone, especially the poser <sic> errr, poster known as "Berkshire".

Actually his responses to my post were lost on me as well. They seemed very 'foreign-bashing' in their content and written with a condescending edge to them.

Then again, with a user name like "Berkshire" it could just be a Brit thing. Being American born & bred, I never could understand their style of ‘humorless’ humor.

Anyway, other posters seem to have taken it for what it was meant to be; a tongue in cheek post about something which actually works in real life too!

[carmine]

Its bigoted anti foreigner bashing from berkshire, plain and simple. Quite bizarre actually. The condescending part is an unpleasant addition coupled with unecessary put downs and belittling of certain posters. I doubt the Thais would want much to do with him either. Its the repetitiveness and total monotomy that gets me.

Enjoy Songkran everything and be careful out there. :jap:

Edited April 12, 2011 by carmine

[GarryP]

Well the definition of "shire" is a county or administrative division of the the UK. That leaves "berk", which has cockney origins.

[Shotime]

I've been testing it myself, and it's a great idea. Growing up in the city, you learn not to make eye contact, anyway, but your idea really works. Except with other farang.

[on-on]

I thought I was the only one too. I'll absolutely echo Tod's experience and results. Not just with the "technique" as it were, which has worked for me since I figured it out too, but with the trying to get by someone and having them meander left and right in whatever direction you choose to pass on. I've never seen a place where one person can block an entire sidewalk with such effectiveness. Young, old, in between - doesn't matter. I used to think there was a pattern to it of circumnavigating storm drains and other obstacles, but the more you watch it the less sense it makes. For example, it happens all the time on empty BTS walkway platforms where there are absolutely no obstacles.

Anyhow, it is un-Goddamn-canny how all this works. I enjoy Thailand and this isn't a major gripe, it's just one of those things that amazes me. Especially the part where people make a subconscious beeline for you on an empty sidewalk. What compels that, I don't know, but it's guaranteed.

One thing I do know is that a lot of money could be saved by cutting the contracts for whoever paints the arrows on the footbridges. Those things are as useless as tits on a bull.

[Latindancer]

Learn to move like Monsieur Hulot, played by the actor Jacques Tati.....

[MSingh]

The self awareness thing became incredibly apparent for me today, more than most ( which is generally every day anyway )..

I went to a Mall today & the lack of awareness where the locals are concerned was bordering on ridiculous..

I'm not one for stereotyping or generalising 60m people but it's obviously more than just coincidental given the fact that the self awareness thing, or lack of it, happens throughout the Country with a very high % of people.

There is quite clearly a difference within an area of the Brain as i have lived in three of the biggest Cities on the Planet that also have some of the biggest racial make up's within them & also went to a School that was masively multi cultural, but this lack of self awareness far outweighs naything i've experienced with any others races of people before..

It's not necessarily a good or bad thing, just a pretty incredible observation imvho.

[travelmann]

Cover yourself in dog shi* will work......let me know how you get on?

[zzaa09]

The self awareness thing became incredibly apparent for me today, more than most ( which is generally every day anyway )..

I went to a Mall today & the lack of awareness where the locals are concerned was bordering on ridiculous..

I'm not one for stereotyping or generalising 60m people but it's obviously more than just coincidental given the fact that the self awareness thing, or lack of it, happens throughout the Country with a very high % of people.

There is quite clearly a difference within an area of the Brain as i have lived in three of the biggest Cities on the Planet that also have some of the biggest racial make up's within them & also went to a School that was masively multi cultural, but this lack of self awareness far outweighs naything i've experienced with any others races of people before..

It's not necessarily a good or bad thing, just a pretty incredible observation imvho.

Self awareness. How would you might define this term?

[Tod Daniels]

Self awareness. How would you might define this term?

I wouldn’t call it self-awareness. I think I would use the term; “spatial awareness” (and/or lack thereof ).

To me it means where a person “is” in space and time in relation to other people and or immoveable objects which share the “same location” in the “space/time continuum” (to coin a phrase from Star Trek ) .

This is something I see very little evidence of here.

Then again I could possible exist in an alternate yet parallel universe , one that is just slight outta sync with the one the Thais seem to exist in ..

[carmine]

The self awareness thing became incredibly apparent for me today, more than most ( which is generally every day anyway )..

I went to a Mall today & the lack of awareness where the locals are concerned was bordering on ridiculous..

I'm not one for stereotyping or generalising 60m people but it's obviously more than just coincidental given the fact that the self awareness thing, or lack of it, happens throughout the Country with a very high % of people.

There is quite clearly a difference within an area of the Brain as i have lived in three of the biggest Cities on the Planet that also have some of the biggest racial make up's within them & also went to a School that was masively multi cultural, but this lack of self awareness far outweighs naything i've experienced with any others races of people before..

It's not necessarily a good or bad thing, just a pretty incredible observation imvho.

Self awareness. How would you might define this term?

Sorry i don't understand that sentence,

Anyway, more importantly, is that really a picture of your good self?

[Gonsalviz]

The tragic thing is that if you applied this seemingly correct proceedure to driving, their mentality would be the same there too..

For the record, i have never stepped foot on a Country where such a high % of the local people are so incredibly oblivious to their surroundings in the same situation that the OP mentions.

& i'm on 49 Countries now..

Must have skipped right over Malaysia.