Biggest Differance

[kerryk]

Contrary to f1's quite biased post --- not all Thai's are after your money (my Thai bf makes more monthly here than I do ((this year)) and I do VERY well by Thai standards).

If the OP is serious about her then it comes down to here or there ..... It will probably be a tough adjustment for either of you. If you aren't seriously committed to the relationship then just let it "be what it is" until you are clear on what you want to do.

Other people pointing out the liabilities of moving here to earn $ are correct --- if your retirement isn't already assured then I would suggest thinking seriously about that as the top priority (with or without her!

You just have to rub it in don't you. After living in Chiang Mai for more than a year I realized that if I was gay I would not have to pay for sex. Does not seem fair does it? But now you add insult to injury and tell me that your significant other even makes more money than you. There should be some kind of gay tax because you have a financial advantage over straight guys. I'll bet once a month he doesn't get wacky either! Probably buys you drinks too And nice birthday presents. Last year I got a crocheted chair arm cover

[IanForbes]

To the OP, by age 41 you should be established in your career. Assuming the UK is similar to the US in career trajectory, you can expect your earnings to peak around age 48, although there are certainly exceptions. So, by decamping to Thailand you are sacrificing your peak earning years which can't be replaced. In most cases you will not be able to practice your profession in Thailand, for language reasons among others. If you consider starting a business, you would do so apparently without previous experience running a business and in a society that operates very differently from your own. What do you think your chances of success would be? Will you be able to figure out a successful business plan in such an alien environment before your money runs out? If a friend intending to follow that same plan came to you asking you to invest, would it seem like a prudent risk? Probably not, but if you go yourself you will be investing your whole future. On the other hand, if your wife were to relocate to the UK she would presumably become fluent in English, assuming that she is diligent and applies herself. If she later were to return to Thailand, English fluency might well enhance her employment prospects depending on her field of work.

From this point of view, relocating to Thailand at your age is a high-risk, low payoff proposition. By contrast, working in the UK for another 20 years with a view toward retiring to Thailand represents a low-risk, high payoff alternative. Unless you have some strong basis for expecting to beat the odds, why would you take such a bet?

Great post, Captain. It should be outlined in gold and pinned for further reference for all those young people who have life all worked out in their heads... but not in reality. :jap:

[jdinasia]

Contrary to f1's quite biased post --- not all Thai's are after your money (my Thai bf makes more monthly here than I do ((this year)) and I do VERY well by Thai standards).

If the OP is serious about her then it comes down to here or there ..... It will probably be a tough adjustment for either of you. If you aren't seriously committed to the relationship then just let it "be what it is" until you are clear on what you want to do.

Other people pointing out the liabilities of moving here to earn $ are correct --- if your retirement isn't already assured then I would suggest thinking seriously about that as the top priority (with or without her!

You just have to rub it in don't you. After living in Chiang Mai for more than a year I realized that if I was gay I would not have to pay for sex. Does not seem fair does it? But now you add insult to injury and tell me that your significant other even makes more money than you. There should be some kind of gay tax because you have a financial advantage over straight guys. I'll bet once a month he doesn't get wacky either! Probably buys you drinks too And nice birthday presents. Last year I got a crocheted chair arm cover

It took you a year+ to figure out that men don't have to pay for sex? Oh wait, you specified gay men .. yeah us too! Some people 'settle' and some people come here for sex ... and most of those that didn't come here for sex seem to not have to pay for it AND not have to settle. I am lucky and I know it ... came here before I turned 40 and had one simple rule about dating. I wouldn't date someone here that I wouldn't have dated back home. That rule has kept me from dating hookers, leeches, people I couldn't hold a conversation with, directionless people, etc etc etc etc ...

[jdinasia]

To the OP, by age 41 you should be established in your career. Assuming the UK is similar to the US in career trajectory, you can expect your earnings to peak around age 48, although there are certainly exceptions. So, by decamping to Thailand you are sacrificing your peak earning years which can't be replaced. In most cases you will not be able to practice your profession in Thailand, for language reasons among others. If you consider starting a business, you would do so apparently without previous experience running a business and in a society that operates very differently from your own. What do you think your chances of success would be? Will you be able to figure out a successful business plan in such an alien environment before your money runs out? If a friend intending to follow that same plan came to you asking you to invest, would it seem like a prudent risk? Probably not, but if you go yourself you will be investing your whole future. On the other hand, if your wife were to relocate to the UK she would presumably become fluent in English, assuming that she is diligent and applies herself. If she later were to return to Thailand, English fluency might well enhance her employment prospects depending on her field of work.

From this point of view, relocating to Thailand at your age is a high-risk, low payoff proposition. By contrast, working in the UK for another 20 years with a view toward retiring to Thailand represents a low-risk, high payoff alternative. Unless you have some strong basis for expecting to beat the odds, why would you take such a bet?

Great post, Captain. It should be outlined in gold and pinned for further reference for all those young people who have life all worked out in their heads... but not in reality. :jap:

I agree.

[Scully]

The first time I went to Thailand I was backpacking and travelled all over the country and was originally on a 3 month tourist visa and didn't return to the UK for 3 years. Thailand is hugely different to the UK with Britain being ruined with pc rules and regulations while Thailand is the total opposite, if you are unsure after a few visits then you need to spend some serious time in Thailand.

Spending time in Thailand is not just for you to see if you like the country but to see if you are compatible with your GF/wife, also don't read into the general thai visa poster too much either as they would have you believe that all Thai women were born whores,thieves and devils in disguise.

Many people judge a person by their wealth and insist you must work your backside off until you retire but the thing is life does not have any rules. My old man worked all his life and died 3 years before retirement and my brother didn't even reach his mid thirties.

In my mid thirties myself I don't fit into the average old age Thailand expat so my view will probably differ from most. Don't burn your financial bridges back home as money is important but as long as you have enough to be stable and happy then go for it, life is too short.

[Mossfinn]

Pretty good post there Scully, apart from what else you posted, some people don't realise, if you gamble with sharks, you might get bitten, if you gambol with dolphins, you might just have a good time.

[MAJIC]

OK. To repeat old ground.... Thailand is beautiful and still cheaper than the UK as long as you don't need UK food. If you do, its more expensive.

Its also far easier to find a g/f, in fact its impossible not to find one hell of a lot of far younger girls that find you incredibly attractive. They are interested purely in your money, but who cares?

Well F1,As you have always claimed to be a western woman,you seem to be overly anxious, and constantly harp on about the Thai Ladies only wanting western mans money! and thats all they want us western men for,which is a very narrow minded generalisation,to say the least.

So do tell us once and for all,what is it you actually gain from this constant diatribe? as it doesn't sound entirely as though you are purely concerned about Tv Males welfare?

Or perhaps I am mistaken, and you do have our Male best interests at heart,and like to give out some Big Sisterly advice on occasions? which I would prefer to think so.

But you are perfectly right on one point "but who cares?"

Edited June 5, 2011 by MAJIC

[kerryk]

Contrary to f1's quite biased post --- not all Thai's are after your money (my Thai bf makes more monthly here than I do ((this year)) and I do VERY well by Thai standards).

If the OP is serious about her then it comes down to here or there ..... It will probably be a tough adjustment for either of you. If you aren't seriously committed to the relationship then just let it "be what it is" until you are clear on what you want to do.

Other people pointing out the liabilities of moving here to earn $ are correct --- if your retirement isn't already assured then I would suggest thinking seriously about that as the top priority (with or without her!

You just have to rub it in don't you. After living in Chiang Mai for more than a year I realized that if I was gay I would not have to pay for sex. Does not seem fair does it? But now you add insult to injury and tell me that your significant other even makes more money than you. There should be some kind of gay tax because you have a financial advantage over straight guys. I'll bet once a month he doesn't get wacky either! Probably buys you drinks too And nice birthday presents. Last year I got a crocheted chair arm cover

It took you a year+ to figure out that men don't have to pay for sex? Oh wait, you specified gay men .. yeah us too! Some people 'settle' and some people come here for sex ... and most of those that didn't come here for sex seem to not have to pay for it AND not have to settle. I am lucky and I know it ... came here before I turned 40 and had one simple rule about dating. I wouldn't date someone here that I wouldn't have dated back home. That rule has kept me from dating hookers, leeches, people I couldn't hold a conversation with, directionless people, etc etc etc etc ...

Having a conversation or being good in bed. That's a hard one. It would be nice to have both. Although like in most things practice makes perfect. Dating and getting married are two different things. Or dating and debating are two different things. I like good dancers and singers too. Sometimes good dancers and singers are not much good at conversation. But if the music in the club is real loud who knows? I came here before I turned 30 and I didn't have any rules about dating. I should have had rules. I'll admit to having dates with leeches and directionless people and a number of people I couldn't hold a conversation with. I should have had more rules.

[Ulysses G.]

Its also far easier to find a g/f, in fact its impossible not to find one hell of a lot of far younger girls that find you incredibly attractive. They are interested purely in your money, but who cares?

Good call. Who cares indeed!

[scottyd]

Don't burn your bridges to your life in the UK. I would not recommend selling up in the UK and moving to Thailand.

Keep your House if you can, and maybe Try living in Thailand for a while to see if it is for you, it is not all faeries, unicorns and rainbows.

Living like you do in the UK will cost you the same in Thailand, if you want to save money be prepared to live a lesser life than you did in the UK.

Working in Thailand will not earn you the same money as back home, and can be a right hassle just trying to get work.

Be prepared for anything you own in Thailand to not actually be yours as a foreigner.

Sounds quite negative, but there is alot to think about, probably not worth it, not to mention the language barrier unless you learn to speak Thai.

[GreenSnapper]

One thing to consider is that if you bring her home there may be lots of younger, better looking, richer guys hitting on her. It is probably a lot cheaper if things go wrong here and not so much competition as we are mostly farang kee nok.

And she can use the UK divorce machine to fleece you into poverty.

[StreetCowboy]

Straying back on topic:

Another similarity is the number of bitter and twisted cynics.

For me, I don't think I would have sacrificed the lifestyle, comforts and career that I had in the UK if I did not have a comparable career opportunity overseas. Now, thanks to my contacts and reputation, I think it would be a big step backwards to go into the UK job market, although I probably still have sufficient contacts that I would not be unemployed for long; albeit I would probably have to take a far less challenging, interesting and entertaining job. And less lucrative.

I think your wife will find it easier to get a good job in the UK than you will in Thailand. I think you will be more easily able to lead an acceptable lifestyle in the UK on your salary alone than in Thailand on your wife's salary alone. If your (hypothetical future) kids go to a local school in the UK, they will find it easier to choose their final destination than if they go to a local school in Thailand, I believe, though that is based solely on my own prejudice and what I have read on this forum. I think that your children will become more culturally receptive growing up in the UK and visiting family in Thailand than vice versa.

But this is my opinion only, I have never been one for doing things the hard way, or giving myself particular challenges or hurdles to overcome. Some people seem so xenophilic that they will overcome any adversity or hardship to live here. I am guessing that you don't yet believe that you are one of those; I suggest delaying anything rash until you know for sure...

SC

[IanForbes]

Why not do like I do and spend time in both countries? I wouldn't want to be stuck in just one country. Of course, I'm single and wouldn't want to be stuck with just one woman, either. However, if I was young and wanted to raise a family I think there is better schooling for children outside of Thailand.

[lazygourmet]

First time I came to Thailand, I stayed for two years without money, passport and -of course- visa... I don't remember anything of these two years...

But apparently, at the age of four, I had to leave the country to accompany my parents, due to dad's other diplomatic mission.

[jdinasia]

Don't burn your bridges to your life in the UK. I would not recommend selling up in the UK and moving to Thailand.

Keep your House if you can, and maybe Try living in Thailand for a while to see if it is for you, it is not all faeries, unicorns and rainbows.

Living like you do in the UK will cost you the same in Thailand, if you want to save money be prepared to live a lesser life than you did in the UK.

Working in Thailand will not earn you the same money as back home, and can be a right hassle just trying to get work.

Be prepared for anything you own in Thailand to not actually be yours as a foreigner.

Sounds quite negative, but there is alot to think about, probably not worth it, not to mention the language barrier unless you learn to speak Thai.

While I would agree with the first 2 sentences .... it would stop there.

It costs me less to live in Thailand than "back home" and I don't scrimp and save to do it.

You can make as much as you did "back home" but you probably won't.

You can own just about anything but land legally in Thailand, condos, cars, motorcycles etc ... and under some very limited circumstances even land. You can certainly own a house sitting on land as well.

If you don't bother to learn Thai you certainly cause yourself even more problems ... but I honestly have a pretty low opinion of people moving anywhere and not learning the local language. (personal bias on my part)

[kjhbigv]

Why not do as some others have said, keep your place in the UK and rent it out for 6 months....set aside a sum of money you will need for those 6 months here (and expect to spend the lot)....don't burn your bridges regarding employment in the UK (especially in view of the jobs market at the moment in the UK).

This would give you a good insight as to whether you could live here or not?

[phutoie2]

Many differences, but I do find myself going to more & more early morning Thai weddings, beat my record last month, downing the Hong Thong and soda at 0715 whilst looking at the plates of rocket fuel (Isan tucker) being placed on the table.

As a fellow Brit my advice would be to keep earning the wonga back home, get the wife back before more tightening of UK imm laws etc.

You can always come across here for long holidays.

I retired early to Thailand due to redundacy etc, quiet life in the sticks now. Can handle the boredom as ex forces.