Tulsi joins the party of Common Sense

[windmill]

hi,

can someone please give advice:

a friend, usa citizen is getting a child with his thai ex girlfriend.

she got pregnant one month after he is diagnosed as dying from cancer (recovering now due to nutritional treatment).

a girl wants to give the child away (with certain conditions ...money involved).

i want to take care of the child, and father is also happy with that solution.

idea is that he gets the parental rights as a father when child is born (i have read the requirements

and the solution for that would be according to Section 1547 of Thai CCC). after that father would give the physical custody over a child to me.

considering his health condition that might be temporary semi solution. if his condition would go worse the custody over a child goes back to mother

who would probably have new conditions for giving it to me.

as far i found out it is not possible that parents give parental (not physical) custody over child to me right away?

if he would die could mother give parental custody to me?

or is there some completely other solution that someone can suggest?

i am unmarried, serbian citizenship.

thanks

[PoorSucker]

As not married to the Thai girlfriend he will not be the legal father.

Please read this topic on how to be legal father first.

or is there some completely other solution that someone can suggest?

Marry the mother before the baby is born and you will be the legal father.

Edited August 20, 2011 by PoorSucker

[windmill]

Marry the mother before the baby is born and you will be the legal father.

would be perfect solution if i would be male as ... i, unfortunately for this situation, am not.

thanks!

[gregb]

While anyone can give you the child and say "take care of him", parental rights are not possible without legally adopting the child. And since you are unmarried, you are unqualified to adopt. Full stop. There is no possibility of ever acquiring parental rights without being married.

If you take care of the child without parental rights, then the mother can ask for the child back any time. Even if she does not ever ask for the child back, you will constantly need her signature on many documents as she is the only one legally allowed to sign for the child. And should the mother die for any reason, the child will technically be an orphan. Then the state can take the child from you and give him to another family. Again, you wouldn't be considered because you are not married.

<Sorry I had to quickly change my advice when you said you were female.>

Your best option would be to marry a close male relative of the woman. Then have the woman apply to give her brother and you the child. The DSDW will usually do this between family members. You will need to be married to this man both in law and in fact, as during the adoption proceedings there will be interviews conducted with both yourself and your neighbors. If they suspect there is any foul play going on they will deny the adoption. It will likely take more than a year to complete the proceeding, so this would be a large commitment on both of your parts.

However you look at it, no marriage, no parental rights. End of story.

[Mario2008]

The father will have to obtain sole parental rights from the mother and then can give the child in your custody to take care of. At the same time he can make a last will in which he states that he wants you to take care of the child in case he will be unable or dies. This will have strong standing with a judge. The mother can't just claim the child back, as she would have given up her parental rights. The longer the bond is between you and the child a judge would also be more reluctant to give the child to a virtual stranger of the child.

I would discuss the options with a competent lawyer in family law, such as isaan lawyers. You could also discuss adoption with a lawyer.

The difference between adoption and getting custody is that with an adoption the child becomes legally yours and is consdidered your family, with all rights and legal obligations. Custody means that you will be the care taker of the child, but the child is not your family. Your legal involvement stops when the child becomes an adult.

[windmill]

Your best option would be to marry a close male relative of the woman. Then have the woman apply to give her brother and you the child. The DSDW will usually do this between family members. You will need to be married to this man both in law and in fact, as during the adoption proceedings there will be interviews conducted with both yourself and your neighbors. If they suspect there is any foul play going on they will deny the adoption. It will likely take more than a year to complete the proceeding, so this would be a large commitment on both of your parts.

However you look at it, no marriage, no parental rights. End of story.

thanks!

would my condition be changed if i marry a father of a child?

(as i have read he can obtain custody with the signature of the mother and court approval

which is said not to be too difficult if mother agrees)

do you consider that as an option? he is american citizen and does not live in thailand.

[windmill]

The father will have to obtain sole parental rights from the mother and then can give the child in your custody to take care of. At the same time he can make a last will in which he states that he wants you to take care of the child in case he will be unable or dies. This will have strong standing with a judge. The mother can't just claim the child back, as she would have given up her parental rights. The longer the bond is between you and the child a judge would also be more reluctant to give the child to a virtual stranger of the child.

I would discuss the options with a competent lawyer in family law, such as isaan lawyers. You could also discuss adoption with a lawyer.

The difference between adoption and getting custody is that with an adoption the child becomes legally yours and is consdidered your family, with all rights and legal obligations. Custody means that you will be the care taker of the child, but the child is not your family. Your legal involvement stops when the child becomes an adult.

thanks! for now i think this is my most probable option.