Before You Order A Drink In Public

[Voo Doo]

Before you order a drink in public, you should read this!

Few bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results:

Drink: Beer

Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.

Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks

Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.

Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks

Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.

Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested, she'll send YOU a drink..................................

Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)

Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.

Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.

Drink: Champagne

Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she has NO clue.

Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be an easy target.

Drink: Shots

Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get

totally drunk... and naked.

Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!

Drink: Tequila

No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.

THEN, there is the MALE addendum ----

The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

Whisky: He doesn't give a ###### about anything but getting laid.

Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

Champagne: He's gay

[kayo]

Class.... Excellent Voo Doo...

Kayo,

The Friendly Global Klown of a Bartender.