Sticky Icky Mess

[Ice Maiden]

Didn't really know where to post this...

My cousin has a girlfriend that he has been dating for about a month. Me and her now have a friendship made and I think of her as a pretty good friend up until last night I'm not so sure...

She came to me and asked if she could check her email, or course I said yes and gave her my laptop to use. She asked me to translate some emails for her and low and behold she had four males on the go filling them with lies for money, you know the drill...

"I need money"

"Missing you velly much"

"I want you make visa for me"

I was shocked all these men were playing her game and hadn't clicked on to it. I asked her to explain herself to me. She simply said "I'm so sorry I care about you so much but I don't like your cousin. I need to earn money what can I do? I care about many falang. I crazy lady. Help me"

I honestly didn't know what to say. We all had suspisions she was a freelancer but that wasn't shared with her or my cousin and it was soon forgotten when we became friends. I let her use my laptop to send an email to some customer that is coming next month that she had to make an "excuse" for.

I only did this because she pleaded with me and I know my cousin is staying with her for a few more months and he's splitting with her, how could I ruin her chances for survival? I was a friend to her and thought about if I was in that situation.

But then it dawned on me I'm helping her fool these customers of hers and my cousin. I recently saw one of my fellow TV'ers get fooled by a freelancer and saw the pain he went through. Now I see her game and the types of things some freelancers say right in front of my very eyes and to be frank it's shocking. Lie after lie.

I may see myself covering her up all the time when something happens like a phonecall of if he asks why she is checking email and all that kind of stuff. And I don't want it to get that far to be honest.

And for all I know this friendship we have could be fake because she needed to use my laptop to check her emails - her only chance of contacting her customers because she seemed to hint at it everyday discreetly.

Was I wrong to do that? Or did I do the right thing?

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Bloody hel_l. That is a very hard question. Does the cousin know ?

[girlx]

i have a policy with myself that if i have solid proof that a person is being scammed, whether thai or farang, and i have the opportunity to tell that person, i do. it has gotten me into a little trouble at times, especially when the person doesn't believe me and then gets angry, but in the end i am usually thanked for my honesty. i wouldn't get involved in a situation that was not my business, but if it was a close friend or relative i would not hesitate. actually this happened last night- my best friend here is getting taken for all she is worth by a thai man who already has two wives and two children that he abandoned. i warned her and she is angry with me, but it will make her be a little more aware and in the long run i might save her from making a seriously bad choice (or acquiring a serious STD from this cheating bastard). i wish someone would have warned me in certain past situations!

[Braccobaldo]

i have a policy with myself that if i have solid proof that a person is being scammed, whether thai or farang, and i have the opportunity to tell that person, i do. it has gotten me into a little trouble at times, especially when the person doesn't believe me and then gets angry, but in the end i am usually thanked for my honesty. i wouldn't get involved in a situation that was not my business, but if it was a close friend or relative i would not hesitate. actually this happened last night- my best friend here is getting taken for all she is worth by a thai man who already has two wives and two children that he abandoned. i warned her and she is angry with me, but it will make her be a little more aware and in the long run i might save her from making a seriously bad choice (or acquiring a serious STD from this cheating bastard).  i wish someone would have warned me in certain past situations!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

....I have a policy with myself that if i have solid proof that a person is being scammed, whether thai or farang, and I have the opportunity to tell that person, I DO NOT DO!!

[Ice Maiden]

Bloody hel_l. That is a very hard question. Does the cousin know ?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No my cousin dosen't know, he is clueless about this whole thing. My Dad has joked once or twice with him about her being a freelancer but it was all in jest, the only person that knows the truth is me and the girl

[DrJohn]

Bloody hel_l. That is a very hard question. Does the cousin know ?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No my cousin dosen't know, he is clueless about this whole thing. My Dad has joked once or twice with him about her being a freelancer but it was all in jest, the only person that knows the truth is me and the girl

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I suppose we need to know what your relationship with your cousin is like. If you are close, and care for him, then you should tell him.

I don't understand the girl though. Why would she use your laptop, and let you know what she is doing? Are there no internet cafes she could use and keep her business quiet?

[mijan24]

Bloody hel_l. That is a very hard question. Does the cousin know ?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No my cousin dosen't know, he is clueless about this whole thing. My Dad has joked once or twice with him about her being a freelancer but it was all in jest, the only person that knows the truth is me and the girl

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Apply your Avatar "Cold As Ice" or do you have an interest???

[Ice Maiden]

I suppose we need to know what your relationship with your cousin is like. If you are close, and care for him, then you should tell him.

I don't understand the girl though. Why would she use your laptop, and let you know what she is doing?  Are there no internet cafes she could use and keep her business quiet?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well obviously I care about my cousin a lot and it is right to say we are close.

Where I live it is thirty mins away from an internet cafe and her friends laptop is in the next room, which would you choose? And she confessed all this bable about being sorry and that she is in a bad situation herself but I don't know if to buy it or not.

Afterall she is already feeding many people lies.

But I must of been nieve to believe she was a friend of mine

... Or is she actualy a true friend?

Would a real friend put this problem onto someone she cared about?

[Ice Maiden]

Apply your Avatar "Cold As Ice" or do you have an interest???

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am only cold when I am put in the right situation.

This one isn't, I have a family member I care for and an apparent friend.

[meemiathai]

Bloody hel_l. That is a very hard question. Does the cousin know ?

No my cousin dosen't know, he is clueless about this whole thing. My Dad has joked once or twice with him about her being a freelancer but it was all in jest, the only person that knows the truth is me and the girl

I suppose we need to know what your relationship with your cousin is like. If you are close, and care for him, then you should tell him.

I don't understand the girl though. Why would she use your laptop, and let you know what she is doing? Are there no internet cafes she could use and keep her business quiet?

I was wondering too. Strange behaviour, isn't it? What is this girl expecting?

Why not ask her first, IM?

[britmaveric]

Have your cousin look at her email account, problem solved!!!

[chownah]

If you and your cousin changed places, what would you want your cousin to do?...tell you or not?

[Ice Maiden]

I know this looks a little strange...

Many people may think because I've known my cousin longer and he's family then I should tell him but I'm thinking of this girls future here and her money situation, I don't want to mess it up for her...

...But I don't want to tell lies to my cousin either and aid a freelancer to do her dirty work on lots of customers because I've seen the bad effects from this.

But then again she isn't a horrible freelancer to me, she is simply a nice female that is poverty stricken and trying to make her way into this world.

But then I'm thinking she could of got herself a normal job instead of telling lies to innocent people. I'm also thinking maybe being a nice girl was another of her lies.

Annnd I'm thinking I'm a liar myself doing this to family.

I'm really confused

[Ice Maiden]

If you and your cousin changed places, what would you want your cousin to do?...tell you or not?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Okay....

Thought about it. The obvious answer to me is to confess all but on second thoughts I'd want my cousin to do what is in my best intrests, whatever that may be

[Braccobaldo]

...If I was you I would not tell everything to your cousin...and if your friend want to check her e-mail nothing wrong with that. Simply ignore them...I think their relationship is near to an end....better for you don't stand in the middle...

[britmaveric]

No offense, but if the girl is that stupid to let you know what she is up to then she deserves what is coming. Blood first.

[taxexile]

aiding and abetting a dishonest act is tantamount to acting dishonestly yourself.

if you can respect yourself after conspiring to fool your cousin into continuing his relationship with a dishonest prostitute then by all means continue with the deception.

if you cannot respect yourself then you should tell your cousin the situation and then let your cousin make his own decision as to whether to continue with the relationship or drop it.

as to her other customers , thats none of your business.

your loyalties should lie to your family.

[LadyinRed]

I would slowly hint to your cousin to dump her. Give him little nudge at a time. Blood runs thicker than water in a family

As for the girl, if she loses your cousin (and her other farang ATM machines), she will get more of them back in no time. She doesn't sound like she need any 'real help' and she definitely can get a normal job if she wants to - just that the money is easier by writing some corny emails to wishful farangs who are not in Thailand.

If she treats you as a friend, she would not put you in this position either. Looks like she may not be a real pro in what she is doing, but well, she may lose some, but I'd like to see it as she'd win some: she'll win lessons on not cheating on other people's feelings and money; and not ask the boyfriend's family/ friend to write emails to her other boyfriends!

Good luck, and whatever decision you make will be the right one.

[chuchok]

aiding and abetting a dishonest act is tantamount to acting dishonestly yourself.

if you can respect yourself after conspiring to fool your cousin into continuing his relationship with a dishonest prostitute then by all means continue with the deception.

if you cannot respect yourself then you should tell your cousin the situation and then let your cousin make his own decision as to whether to continue with the relationship or drop it.

as to her other customers , thats none of your business.

your loyalties should lie to your family.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That's exactly how I think too.

[Braccobaldo]

aiding and abetting a dishonest act is tantamount to acting dishonestly yourself.

if you can respect yourself after conspiring to fool your cousin into continuing his relationship with a dishonest prostitute then by all means continue with the deception.

if you cannot respect yourself then you should tell your cousin the situation and then let your cousin make his own decision as to whether to continue with the relationship or drop it.

as to her other customers , thats none of your business.

your loyalties should lie to your family.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

....dishonest prostitute???...I disagree...she's an honest prostitute!!!...quite normal business to have more than one relationship at the same time...can have much more money!!!...

[Ice Maiden]

aiding and abetting a dishonest act is tantamount to acting dishonestly yourself.

if you can respect yourself after conspiring to fool your cousin into continuing his relationship with a dishonest prostitute then by all means continue with the deception.

if you cannot respect yourself then you should tell your cousin the situation and then let your cousin make his own decision as to whether to continue with the relationship or drop it.

as to her other customers , thats none of your business.

your loyalties should lie to your family.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That's exactly how I think too.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

At least you both expressed your opinion honestly, I didn't want it sugarcoated

[taxexile]

she is not dishonest by the fact that she is a prostitute , she is dishonest by the fact that she is having a relationship with ice maidens cousin who does not know of her sideline as a prostitute.

he thinks of her as his monogamous girlfriend.

she is deceiving him.

[britmaveric]

aiding and abetting a dishonest act is tantamount to acting dishonestly yourself.

if you can respect yourself after conspiring to fool your cousin into continuing his relationship with a dishonest prostitute then by all means continue with the deception.

if you cannot respect yourself then you should tell your cousin the situation and then let your cousin make his own decision as to whether to continue with the relationship or drop it.

as to her other customers , thats none of your business.

your loyalties should lie to your family.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

....dishonest prostitute???...I disagree...she's an honest prostitute!!!...quite normal business to have more than one relationship at the same time...can have much more money!!!...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Dishonest no, but stupid yes. You don't tell a member of the family that you are stringing along their cousin and ask for help writing emails to her other clients.

[Ice Maiden]

she is not dishonest by the fact that she is a prostitute  , she is dishonest by the fact that she is having a relationship with ice maidens cousin who does not know of her sideline as a prostitute.

he thinks of her as his monogamous girlfriend.

she is deceiving him.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

But he is also decieving her by setting a time limit on the relationship and not really caring about her. His words were:

"Shes nothing to me, I'll split with her in a few months"

I feel stuck in the middle here

[britmaveric]

she is not dishonest by the fact that she is a prostitute  , she is dishonest by the fact that she is having a relationship with ice maidens cousin who does not know of her sideline as a prostitute.

he thinks of her as his monogamous girlfriend.

she is deceiving him.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

But he is also decieving her by setting a time limit on the relationship and not really caring about her. His words were:

"Shes nothing to me, I'll split with her in a few months"

I feel stuck in the middle here

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If thats the case this should be easy - save him some time/dosh get rid of her now. Her other clients will be still there.

[Indo-Siam]

Agree with those who say: This Thai lady will float through your life and be just a dim memory ten years from now, but your cousin will still be your cousin. Don't screw up the lady's deal with her other paramours, but lay out the story to your cousin, and let the chips fall where they may.

This might not win you much in the way of her friendship, but ...... maybe you just gotta' live up to your name.

Indo-Siam

[Ice Maiden]

This might not win you much in the way of her friendship, but ...... maybe you just gotta' live up to your name.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes, maybe I should.

[stumonster]

ask her for your cut of the cash........

is your cousin being the faithful boyfriend , or his he slipping in a few short times?

maybe tell her to cut your cousin loose - or have her explain the situation to him , tell her that as the situation is family , one of you is going to have to enlighten the naive one.

[awarrumbungle]

As someone who has been scammed before (back in Aus believe it or not) I would tell my friend if I knew they were being scammed. When I found out that people new I was being scammed and didn't tell me out of respect I was confused. I think if your a friend you have duty to at least present the other side of the coin. Kinda like tough love I guess. Just make sure your intentions are good and that they know that.

[Braccobaldo]

she is not dishonest by the fact that she is a prostitute  , she is dishonest by the fact that she is having a relationship with ice maidens cousin who does not know of her sideline as a prostitute.

he thinks of her as his monogamous girlfriend.

she is deceiving him.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

...I bet he also know she's a prostitute...and maybe he's not monogamous too..who's know??....it seems to me they are just joking each other...mind that we are talking about a relationship lasting two month...don't take it too seriously...maybe the only one that think too much here is...Ice maiden!!!