Sticky Icky Mess

[johnh101]

Why don't you talk to your dad and see what he thinks, perhaps a little word from him to your cousin would resolve your dilemma.

I have seen this before. I once new a guy who came here regularly on holiday and built a beautiful 3 bed house up north for his girlfriend. The minute his taxi was pulling away from the hotel she was back in the bar, 30 mins later she was on her back for a short time.

I didn't know what to do so I discussed the matter with a friend and he told him.

[meadish_sweetball]

she is not dishonest by the fact that she is a prostitute  , she is dishonest by the fact that she is having a relationship with ice maidens cousin who does not know of her sideline as a prostitute.

he thinks of her as his monogamous girlfriend.

she is deceiving him.

But he is also decieving her by setting a time limit on the relationship and not really caring about her. His words were:

"Shes nothing to me, I'll split with her in a few months"

I feel stuck in the middle here

So they are both equally insincere. Why should you care about either of them?

They are both playing a game. They seem to deserve each other.

[chownah]

I think the Thai girl knows that Ice maiden's cousin will be gone soon so before this happens she is trying to see if Ice maiden is interested in being her friend and helping her with her business....maybe become a partner in some way...doe Ice maiden have more cousins?...brothers?....farang friends?....or maybe Ice maiden would like to make some quick cash?...lots of rich Thais might be interested in Ice Maiden.......do you think?

[cobra]

"Silence is Golden"

"Don't shoot the messenger", well, they always do.

[Thaipwriter]

I cant belive you have to come on here and even ask the question!

Tell you cousin, you are aiding and abetting a cheat.

Theres a billion girls in Patters, he only has to click his fingers for another

you have gone down a peg in my estimation, I thought you were better that this!

forget about the friendship thing, it's all in your mind. She only uses you a mechanism to further herself.

cheats should never prosper, and farangs should not help them either.

Sorry for being harsh on this but you should know better

[Kerryd]

Personally, I think blood is thicker than water. Your cousin is family.

He apparently is planning on splitting up with this girl soon any ways, so it doesn't appear that there is a very strong emotional connection between them.

It would be better for him to find out from a loyal family member now, rather than find out later that a family member knew about this for months and never told him.

Let him know you decided to tell him about this because you are a caring, concerned family member. Have a couple of copies of her emails on hand as proof, just in case. Some guys are egotistical (read: arrogant) enough to think it could never happen to them.

If I found out I was being cheated on, and a family member knew about it and never told me, I would feel more betrayed by the family member than the "cheater". I would definitely lose a lot of respect and trust for that person.

Hope it works out for you.

Oh yeah, one more thing. Try informing him the Thai way ! Use a third party as an intervener. Tell them the story, and get that person to tell your cousin (make sure that 3rd person isn't better friends with the girl first).

Don't worry about hurting the girl's "income" stream. She is no doubt getting monthly installments wired directly into her account from some of her other boyfriends already.

[aughie]

she is not dishonest by the fact that she is a prostitute  , she is dishonest by the fact that she is having a relationship with ice maidens cousin who does not know of her sideline as a prostitute.

he thinks of her as his monogamous girlfriend.

she is deceiving him.

But he is also decieving her by setting a time limit on the relationship and not really caring about her. His words were:

"Shes nothing to me, I'll split with her in a few months"

I feel stuck in the middle here

So they are both equally insincere. Why should you care about either of them?

They are both playing a game. They seem to deserve each other.

Besides, I bet the stepmother had the girl pegged from the start and discussed it with her husband. That means Icy's father discussed it with his nephew. I don't think the stepmother would have the girl come around her house unless the men had expressed they had a clear understanding of who the girl is.

[GuestHouse]

The choice is between a freelancer and a member of your own family.

Why is that difficult?

[bina]

she is not dishonest by the fact that she is a prostitute , she is dishonest by the fact

that she is having a relationship with ice maidens cousin who does not know of her sideline as a prostitute.

he thinks of her as his monogamous girlfriend.

she is deceiving him.

*

But he is also decieving her by setting a time limit on the relationship and not really caring about her. His words were:

"Shes nothing to me, I'll split with her in a few months"

I feel stuck in the middle here

*

So they are both equally insincere. Why should you care about either of them?

They are both playing a game. They seem to deserve each other.

i agree with meadish and braccobaldo;

let them work it out themselves; dont have your laptop available anymore and see how the friendship goes; distrust the girl as a friend; you might want to tell your cousin that this girl is using lyour laptop for lots of foreign correspondance, let him decide if he really wants to know (he might 'know' but not want to 'know', after all he is also short timing her more or less)

.this does hint of a 'using' friendship in this case.... how far would this girl stand by you in a very bad situation... or would she be 'busy' and weasel out of helping you?? ask yourself... how would your cousin help you? and blood is not neccessarily thicker then water...

[dr_Pat_Pong]

she is not dishonest by the fact that she is a prostitute  , she is dishonest by the fact that she is having a relationship with ice maidens cousin who does not know of her sideline as a prostitute.

he thinks of her as his monogamous girlfriend.

she is deceiving him.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

and the guy intends to dump her in a few weeks anyhow. He's no prize either. Bring it on Icey.

[malcolminthemiddle]

.................................aiding and abetting a dishonest act is tantamount to acting dishonestly yourself.

.......................................

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Being made involuntary aware is not aiding and abetting.

...................as to her other customers , thats none of your business.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Exactly, nor is the relationship between the cousin and the girl.

.............................................

she is deceiving him.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

They are both deceiving each other.

[Soph]

Tell him first, then take him out for a night on the pi*s and introduce him to some "nice" girls. He will soon forget all about it no doubt.

[Fast Eddie]

Tell your cousin what is going on, it will be valuable for him to know he is not immune to being taken for a ride. Don't worry about losing her one month debatable friendship. This is your family, so ignore those who are telling you it's none of your business, it is.

Your cousin may have only gone into this relationship with the intention of it being a short term arrangement, but a few months can change things when emotions are involved. If he is being ripped off in four or five months time do you want to have to tell him that you've known all along? Or even worse, have him find out about your compliance in the deception from another source? How do you think the rest of your family will view you if you display more allegiance to a freelancer you hardly know, than your own relations?

What the girl is doing is wrong, and no doubt your cousin is being lined up as her next victim.

[davethailand]

i have a policy with myself that if i have solid proof that a person is being scammed, whether thai or farang, and i have the opportunity to tell that person, i do. it has gotten me into a little trouble at times, especially when the person doesn't believe me and then gets angry, but in the end i am usually thanked for my honesty. i wouldn't get involved in a situation that was not my business, but if it was a close friend or relative i would not hesitate. actually this happened last night- my best friend here is getting taken for all she is worth by a thai man who already has two wives and two children that he abandoned. i warned her and she is angry with me, but it will make her be a little more aware and in the long run i might save her from making a seriously bad choice (or acquiring a serious STD from this cheating bastard).  i wish someone would have warned me in certain past situations!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

....I have a policy with myself that if i have solid proof that a person is being scammed, whether thai or farang, and I have the opportunity to tell that person, I DO NOT DO!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Agreed.

The girl needs to earn a living to take care of herself and family.

The cousin needs to learn for himself.

Part of life in thailand i'm afraid.

[Mighty Mouse]

If he is not a kissing cousin, let him have his fun. ( Oooops, I forgot..you don't kiss and tell )

I doubt that there would be a regular male visitor to Thailand who hasn't met a cheating Thai female.....and gone back to her for more.

It's just part of growing up for him. He will become more experienced next time around, and who wants to settle down at his age anyway. Just make sure he has a good supply of rubbers.

Now....where do you live....I would like to call around to your place and use your laptop to send off a few hundred emails.

[Insight]

"They deserve each other" - Sorry but disagree. If she's stupid (and I mean completely bloody stupid) enough to show a relative of her boyfriend her incriminating private email, she's no doubt stupid enough to fool around with other farang guys in Pattaya while she's still with your cousin. Ask yourself, would you now put it past her to do that?

Even from a shallow "she means nothing to me anyway" point of view, there could well be STD's involved in the future here.

Just what she was expecting your reaction to be when you seen those mails, I have no idea, but anything that follows can hardly be a suprise to her given your link to her boyfriend...

[Noel]

As you are clearly a caring and sharing person, Ice Maiden, why not share your problem with her customers and ask them what you should do?

Or, you could simply tell her that your conscience will not allow you to continue to aid and abet her deception, so she can no longer use your computer.

Her reaction should show the depth of your 'friendship'...

[Maestro]

She came to me and asked if she could check her email, or course I said yes and gave her my laptop to use. She asked me to translate some emails for her and low and behold she had four males on the go filling them with lies for money, you know the drill...

IceMaiden, are you completely blind?

Don’t you see that your friend showed you those emails because she WANTS you to tell your cousin?

[Jockstar]

These are the kind of girls that give Thai girls a bad name. Tell your cousin. I know i would. Your family should come first. IMHO

[RDN]

She came to me and asked if she could check her email, or course I said yes and gave her my laptop to use. She asked me to translate some emails for her and low and behold she had four males on the go filling them with lies for money, you know the drill...

IceMaiden, are you completely blind?

Don’t you see that your friend showed you those emails because she WANTS you to tell your cousin?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Just what I was going to say! Why did she show you the emails, I-M? What do you think she wants you to do with this knowledge?

Do you think she was so desperate to email her other boyfriends - sorry, "clients" - that she took the risk of telling you about them, knowing that you might tell the cousin?

Seems to me that she wants you to tell him, to get the relationship finished.

But if you feel she will or can cause you personal trouble, then don't do it because your cousin seems ready to finish with her anyway. So don't let it cause you problems, but if you're sure you'll be OK, tell him. She'll still have her other clients.

[Thaipwriter]

The girl needs to earn a living to take care of herself and family.

Ah, please get me her swift code so i can send a few baht, I'm welling up here

[britmaveric]

i have a policy with myself that if i have solid proof that a person is being scammed, whether thai or farang, and i have the opportunity to tell that person, i do. it has gotten me into a little trouble at times, especially when the person doesn't believe me and then gets angry, but in the end i am usually thanked for my honesty. i wouldn't get involved in a situation that was not my business, but if it was a close friend or relative i would not hesitate. actually this happened last night- my best friend here is getting taken for all she is worth by a thai man who already has two wives and two children that he abandoned. i warned her and she is angry with me, but it will make her be a little more aware and in the long run i might save her from making a seriously bad choice (or acquiring a serious STD from this cheating bastard).  i wish someone would have warned me in certain past situations!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

....I have a policy with myself that if i have solid proof that a person is being scammed, whether thai or farang, and I have the opportunity to tell that person, I DO NOT DO!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Agreed.

The girl needs to earn a living to take care of herself and family.

The cousin needs to learn for himself.

Part of life in thailand i'm afraid.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If it weren't family I'd say stay out of it! Dave - you know full well she'll be alright especially if she's got 4 lads already lined up.

[Ice Maiden]

Thankyou for the responses.

And Thaipwriter don't worry you wasn't too hard on me, I can take it

[Johpa]

....dishonest prostitute???...I disagree...she's an honest prostitute!!!...quite normal business to have more than one relationship at the same time...can have much more money!!!...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Finally someone else who understands. A prostitute is paid to tell someone what they want to hear. They are not paid to tell the truth. They are indeed paid to lie. They are not paid to say "you not handsome man" or "wow, that is a small willy down there."

Now whether you should tell your cousin is a much more difficult question, but I would probably let the cousin know that the other is still working. But do not condemn that person for doing her job with aplomb.

[davethailand]

The girl needs to earn a living to take care of herself and family.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ah, please get me her swift code so i can send a few baht, I'm welling up here

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So you should you tightwad

[Patex]

Ice Maiden,

She sure wants you to tell it your cousin! I think your cousin never gave her a reason to split up, so she must be?/play the "bad girl".

Why? Because your cousin is a little kiniau... She told everything

Patex

[zaz]

Icey my advice would be that you tell your cousin and show him the emails if he doesnt believe you. However, your friendship with the girl may not be false and I would carry on being friends and see how it goes.

[unforgiven]

she is not dishonest by the fact that she is a prostitute  , she is dishonest by the fact that she is having a relationship with ice maidens cousin who does not know of her sideline as a prostitute.

he thinks of her as his monogamous girlfriend.

she is deceiving him.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

But he is also decieving her by setting a time limit on the relationship and not really caring about her. His words were:

"Shes nothing to me, I'll split with her in a few months"

I feel stuck in the middle here

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

boy I'm glad we're not cousins.......................

[Ice Maiden]

boy I'm glad we're not cousins.......................

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I love you too

[Ice Maiden]

Just found out that my cousin is spending the night away from the house with another woman leaving his girlfriend here and not returning her calls

They are both as bad as each other.

Edited November 14, 2005 by Ice Maiden