Murphy's notable quotes:

Nothing improves with age.

No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.

Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.

There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.

Do it only with the best.

Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.

One good turn gets most of the blankets.

The person who said that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all...NEVER loved and lost!

Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

Never say no.

A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.

Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.

A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.

Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

"This won't hurt, I promise."

It's always easier to get a lady if you already have one.

It doesn't matter HOW good it was, if you end up worrying or regretting it, it was bad sex

Never trust a woman who acts like you are so sexy she can't help herself but drag you to bed

"Trust me you can never get pregnant the first time"