Are You A Winner Or A Loser

[Beetlejuice]

I'm retired here, financially secure now and for the long term future, no need to work, not enjoying Champaign breakfasts everyday but not starving either, have a nice comfortable spacious home all paid for, my own transport, wife, kids, dogs and all the rest of it, not in any debt, can please myself what I do and have managed to stay legal and within the law.

So I suppose I rate myself within the winner category.

Of course that could all change in the future, no one knows what's around the corner, so I don`t believe in boasting and never take anything for granted. So for those that consider they are in a better situation than everyone else I really have no interest in listening to their crap.

Yes, it is easy to vegetate in Thailand and I do class myself as one of those who would enjoy having more things to do, especially now that social is so expensive and the ever decreasing Thai bahts for Western currencies, but can't have it all ways, nothing is perfect.

The question is; how do we define the differences between winners and losers?

Edited December 10, 2011 by Beetlejuice

[xthAi76s]

... screwed up the quotes ...

Read this:

decided that winning is not only about tangible things (like material wealth) but it can also be something like a lack of fear of failure and an understanding that the ride is just as important as the destination.

Achievers know what they've achieved. Coming to terms with a fear of failure is not an achievement.

OK, I wil try to address your point, and I hope that you will answer my question to you in my original post. -- When I checked your page recently, I notice that in the last few topics, you've started them but I didn't note many cases of you opening up and providing insight to your own questions. I hope this will not be the case here.

I do not agree with your suppositions that

Achievers know what they've achieved.

and that

Coming to terms with a fear of failure is not an achievement.

. Technically, so long as I had anything I listed as a goal, then, having satisfied the goal, it has thusly been achieved. Can you argue with this?

I think you mean to ask a different question which may require more effort to properly articulate. Is your question really about achievement or would you like to elaborate on your original question? I don't want play with words, but I would like to answer your question accurately.

Thanks,

[travelmann]

Arrived 5 years ago temporarily for a holiday, bought two condos rented them so easily at over 10% return and at a time when £ was 72 baht then bought 2 more 4 months later, let my wife take care of them she saved an bought another, then thru this she met a man who owned many rooms and he asked her to run them with a nice salary of almost 100k a month also thru doing this and meeting other owners she started renting and taking care of other rooms bringing in quite a lot giving her roughly 250k a month. overall

She used to work in a small co. for 11k a month, all i did was encourage her and give her the intial "leg up" she often works 14 hours a day. I am now here permanenlty after 5 years of 3 months here 5 months back home.

All i do is take care of the house now..........house husband

Edited December 10, 2011 by travelmann

[transam]

I'm retired here, financially secure now and for the long term future, no need to work, not enjoying Champaign breakfasts everyday but not starving either, have a nice comfortable spacious home all paid for, my own transport, wife, kids, dogs and all the rest of it, not in any debt, can please myself what I do and have managed to stay legal and within the law.

So I suppose I rate myself within the winner category.

Of course that could all change in the future, no one knows what's around the corner, so I don`t believe in boasting and never take anything for granted. So for those that consider they are in a better situation than everyone else I really have no interest in listening to their crap.

Yes, it is easy to vegetate in Thailand and I do class myself as one of those who would enjoy having more things to do, especially now that social is so expensive and the ever decreasing Thai bahts for Western currencies, but can't have it all ways, nothing is perfect.

The question is; how do we define the differences between winners and losers?

Yes,

l know a well off guy and Thai wife who have everything but nothing cos they both have the big C .

Life has many twists and turns and some where money has no value.

[poanoi]

What's the big C ?

Anyway i had to think long and hard about this one,

and the only thing i'm actually satisfied with having accomplished here in LoS is getting 2 woman out of a really bad relation.

(into a better one, with me)

[transam]

What's the big C ?

Anyway i had to think long and hard about this one,

and the only thing i'm actually satisfied with having accomplished here in LoS is getting 2 woman out of a really bad relation.

(into a better one, with me)

Sorry, for you, Cancer.

Edited December 10, 2011 by metisdead
Inappropriate comments removed.

[thaimate]

Why do you have to have achieved something here to be a winner? i'me as happy as larry ,every day is a new one ,i have a loving wife ,son and daughter ,my familly love me and i love them God, my life has been and continues to be fantastic and when i die ,i wont be happy about it ,but i will be happy that i was happy all my time on the planet .

what have i achieved? well isn't that enough?

[transam]

Why do you have to have achieved something here to be a winner? i'me as happy as larry ,every day is a new one ,i have a loving wife ,son and daughter ,my familly love me and i love them God, my life has been and continues to be fantastic and when i die ,i wont be happy about it ,but i will be happy that i was happy all my time on the planet .

what have i achieved? well isn't that enough?

Yep . BUT, achieve is a word that means you've done something, being happy perhaps is not an achievement but having very good luck.

[xthAi76s]

Young, well-educated, wife and I walked away from more money than most people ever get to make, have a beautiful, young, educated, kind wife, good looking and physically healthy, dropped my concern for material wealth (as evidenced by walking away from a lot of money), do not care for the many distractions that many fall for, learned to not take things personally most of the time, acclimatized, started building relationships with other educated foreigners and Thais here from various places (like school and such), learned to not care much about roaches crawling on my food, learned to be a bit more humble, decided against having any children (huge win, imo), decided that winning is not only about tangible things (like material wealth) but it can also be something like a lack of fear of failure and an understanding that the ride is just as important as the destination.

How about you, OP? Anything inspiring?

So, you are young and well educated.

Your wife is also young. She is beautiful, well-educated, kind, good looking and physically healthy.

Great. Really great.

But what have you actually achieved?

I think that he said he achieved inner peace. Sounds like a lot more than most people ever do, here or in the West. I say congratulations. That sounds like the only achievement worth the effort.

And I guess I just don't see the snobbish part of his response. I guess that is why it is claimed that 90% of the message is lost in a discussion via email. I interpreted his statements completely differently. Without subtle queues like voice tones and body language I imagine people project their own biases onto everything they read.

Thanks (and thanks to WAYNEandAEI). Yes, the inner peace thing is one of the things I was trying to communicate although perhaps I could have done it a bit better.

I have a close friend who is rather rich and moderately famous. He worked in law on Wall Street and whose life has followed what most people would consider textbook success. He's got more money than he knows what to do with, properties; smart as heck; he is extraordinarily good looking (imo) and very healthy -- he climbs mountains and participates in some semi-pro athletic events, and never eats this and that and has never smoked or drank; he's got a loving circle of friends (not a very large circle but a tight one); he's got an astoundingly gorgeous wife who is ten years his junior and who cooks like a professional and who is an artist. And on and on. For much of the duration of our friendship, I admired him primarily for the usual suspects: the money, the girls before he got married and his physique. However, the last lesson he taught me before I left the US before moving over to Thailand was that what really matters to him most are his relationships with people in his life and his health. He said he was happy that he'd been able to convince people he's smart enough to earn their trust so that he could hope to have some positive impact on their lives. He siad he was happy to have money because it allowed him to work on being truly altruistic in his handling of his wealth. Most of all, he was happy to be healthy.

He encouraged me to have goals which get me closer to this kind of real 'enlightenment', if you will. It may sound cliche and obvious, but without our health, we really are nothing. Similarly, without a few good people to share life with, I suspect the vast majority of us would not feel that we were winners no matter the type/amount of currency in our accounts.

I was trying to articulate that I seemed to have achieved these kinds of 'life understanding' goals (to a certain degree, anyway) which are huge achievements for me.

I'm surprised the OP would dismiss my achievement of my goal to face my fears in this regard. Many people I've known live their entire lives in fear. Fear of losing a job or source of income. Fear of losing respect. Fear of not feeling they have accumulated enough things to feel good about themselves. Fear of not finding someone who they love unconditionally and who love and who loves them for who they are. Fear for their health. And so on ...

How many people can challenge their entire world view and face all these fears head on and uproot their lives (giving up a financial wealth many people spend their entire healthy portion of their lives working toward) to go and be challenged in a place and among a people that both have to be learned? How many people can early on in their lives understand the importance of the ongoing personal sacrifice to live healthful lives? To me, these things are huge. I spent almost three years agonizing over all this and growing and challenging myself to be brave. To me, it's not something I can easily dismiss.

If the OP is simply talking about achievement in monetary terms since we've all gotten to Thailand, I have no problem reporting that my business has not earned a single baht as of yet. So, I am still working on this aspect of my life and indeed I do plan to be working on for some time.

Edited December 10, 2011 by ThailandMan

[MrsMills]

One thing for sure, you'll not find many losers on ThaiVisa, most here are winners, anonymous forums have the strange phenomenon where the vast majority are different to the mainstream.

Most here have never been with a bargirl, yet most of the people I know in real life have, most of the people here are rich, most of the people I know in real life are not, most of the members here claim to have married highly educated and well connected beautiful young Thai women, most of the people I know in real life have not.

What makes ThaiVisa members so different ?

I think most are lying, bit pointless really on an anonymous forum, they are only lying to themselves.

Personally I'm rich, handsome, I've never been to a bar, never paid for sex, and my wife is a highly educated beautiful young Thai woman 25 years my junior who comes from a well connected family.

[canuckamuck]

My wife and I are raising 4 abandoned kids, they are all healthy and doing very well. We inherited some land with a house to which we are making improvements and venturing into assorted types of agriculture. I am busy all day and enjoy 95% of it.

[transam]

One thing for sure, you'll not find many losers on ThaiVisa, most here are winners, anonymous forums have the strange phenomenon where the vast majority are different to the mainstream.

Most here have never been with a bargirl, yet most of the people I know in real life have, most of the people here are rich, most of the people I know in real life are not, most of the members here claim to have married highly educated and well connected beautiful young Thai women, most of the people I know in real life have not.

What makes ThaiVisa members so different ?

I think most are lying, bit pointless really on an anonymous forum, they are only lying to themselves.

Personally I'm rich, handsome, I've never been to a bar, never paid for sex, and my wife is a highly educated beautiful young Thai woman 25 years my junior who comes from a well connected family.

Where have you been Mrs, I have missed your writings, hope all OK with you.

[poanoi]

When talking about achievement we should also take the goal we had into account.

In my case, the goal was

1: Stop freezing

2: Cheaper cost of living

3: threesome, the more the merrier

4: Die in a warm climate

result so far

1: check

2: check

3: fail

4: fail

So that's a draw for me, but i'm counting on #4 going my way not too far away, so that will tilt the scale in my favor, making me a Winner

[Fookhaht]

Well, using my own benchmarks, here's the score...

• Using a motorbike for transportation for nearly a decade, I've managed to stay alive.
• I've avoided being deported.
• I've not caught malaria, dengue fever or AIDS.
• I've never paid a bribe to a cop.
• I've never accepted a bribe from subordinates (and Lord knows, I've been offered many)
• I've never mistaken a ladyboy for another gender (nor gotten beaten up as a result)
• I've never paid money for a sick buffalo back in a village I've never been to.
• I've never been too drunk to be aware of my surroundings or engage in responsible behavior
• I've never regretted my decision to begin life anew in Thailand!

I'M A WINNER!

[MrsMills]

Where have you been Mrs, I have missed your writings, hope all OK with you.

I've been playing sell out concerts at Caesar's Palace.

Edited December 10, 2011 by MrsMills

[theblether]

Personally, I think you're missing the point.

Few in life are genuine 'winners' - how many actually make a positive change for society as a whole?

Obviously a few geniuses achieve something TRULY worthwhile but, having a job does not make anyone a 'winner' in real terms.

I don't doubt though that having joined this forum more than a month ago you have the best 'view' on winners and losers.

An unduly cynical and harsh post from you f1fanatic

Winning is not measured merely by accumulation of wealth and assets, or by inventing the wheel, penicillin etc

I know a man who is totally self reliant and he has only one love in his life, fishing......his victory isn't catching the fish......it's catching the fish, admiring it, then putting it back. He's been known to catch the same fish several times and he talks to it like an old friend.

He's doing what he wants with his life, when he wants, and he's doing it off his own back..............that's a victory to me, he's a winner.

Me?.....I have an enviable lifestyle, I can do what I want when I want for the majority of the year......I disappear on amazing holidays for weeks upon weeks at a time and now and again I have to go work in one of my businesses. I enjoy my businesses, I find them interesting.

I'm a winner........and may I say when I'm flying over the Thai mountains on a Cessna, and sitting in beautiful restaurants deep in the jungle............I know, really know, I've made it.

[TingTawng]

A winner crosses the finish line, it's past tense. There's a certain smugness when somone describes themselves as a winner - resting on their laurels, with a sense of complacency, even hubris. The question should be : are you winning or losing? At least Charlie Sheen got his tenses right.

I personally think I've achieved an awful lot in the last 8 years, but I would not label my position as "winning" - to be a bit zen here, my position in life "just is". I think luck has helped me too, and certainly BAD luck could have prevented all the efforts I've put into my business and family life over this time, and could do in the future. Sure, you "make your own luck", but there's things outside of your control that you just have to hope go your way too. I've also had crap luck during times in my life where I'm truly trying my best and facing a lot of adversity. To conclude: winning and losing are arbitrary labels - ones that inspire nothing but either complacency or envy; it's a negative lesson.

Edited December 10, 2011 by TingTawng

[thaimate]

Why do you have to have achieved something here to be a winner? i'me as happy as larry ,every day is a new one ,i have a loving wife ,son and daughter ,my familly love me and i love them God, my life has been and continues to be fantastic and when i die ,i wont be happy about it ,but i will be happy that i was happy all my time on the planet .

what have i achieved? well isn't that enough?

Yep . BUT, achieve is a word that means you've done something, being happy perhaps is not an achievement but having very good luck.

Strange way to look at life ,and there was me thinking having a great familly ,being financially secure being happy was an achievment ,perhaps if i had worked harder built up a multi million pound buisness and lost my familly and died alone you would say i had achieved something

[ludditeman]

The only thing to mark success is reproduction, that is the reason for all living creatures.

Those who create more children are a greater success than those who create none.

Those who create healthy children are more successful than those who create unhealthy children.

This is the definition of success for any species.

Money and fame doesn't matter unless it leads to greater reproduction.

[Beetlejuice]

One thing for sure, you'll not find many losers on ThaiVisa, most here are winners, anonymous forums have the strange phenomenon where the vast majority are different to the mainstream.

Most here have never been with a bargirl, yet most of the people I know in real life have, most of the people here are rich, most of the people I know in real life are not, most of the members here claim to have married highly educated and well connected beautiful young Thai women, most of the people I know in real life have not.

What makes ThaiVisa members so different ?

I think most are lying, bit pointless really on an anonymous forum, they are only lying to themselves.

Personally I'm rich, handsome, I've never been to a bar, never paid for sex, and my wife is a highly educated beautiful young Thai woman 25 years my junior who comes from a well connected family.

So what difference does it make?

Even if a guy goes with 10 bargirls a night in an orgy of sex, drugs and rock & roll, or marries a girl from a Bangkok slum who’s only achievements are winning the 2008 slut of the year award, or mostly stays at home on his own or with family and visits Church every Sunday? Providing he is happy with his life, has few financial and health problems, than he’s a winner.

Being a winner is doing what you want, with who you want and able to do it, plus being independent and not giving a rat’s behind about what other people think.

If anyone posts on Thai visa claiming they are doing all right thank you, then I’m happy for them.

Personally I do not gain any satisfaction or gloat from hearing other peoples sob stories, it depresses me. If people state on here that they are doing well, why should we disbelieve them?

Always Look On The Bright Side of Life

[kurnell]

My drunken asshol_e friend taught me how to drink at a phenomenal rate. I now know how to write off all my drinking on the company. Quite awesome achievements I think you will all agree.

[Jingthing]

The only thing to mark success is reproduction, that is the reason for all living creatures.

Those who create more children are a greater success than those who create none.

Those who create healthy children are more successful than those who create unhealthy children.

This is the definition of success for any species.

Money and fame doesn't matter unless it leads to greater reproduction.

You are right strictly in terms of biological success. Somehow I don't think David Geffen is crying though.

Edited December 10, 2011 by Jingthing

[elgato]

PattaniMan: In answer to your questions -

1. Nothing

2. None

3. Nothing

[ludditeman]

The only thing to mark success is reproduction, that is the reason for all living creatures.

Those who create more children are a greater success than those who create none.

Those who create healthy children are more successful than those who create unhealthy children.

This is the definition of success for any species.

Money and fame doesn't matter unless it leads to greater reproduction.

You are right strictly in terms of biological success. Somehow I don't think David Geffen is crying though.

He made a lot of money, but it couldn't buy him the public beach in front of his house, even though he spent years in court, trying to keep them out.

Definitely a loser, and mean as well.

[Jingthing]

The only thing to mark success is reproduction, that is the reason for all living creatures.

Those who create more children are a greater success than those who create none.

Those who create healthy children are more successful than those who create unhealthy children.

This is the definition of success for any species.

Money and fame doesn't matter unless it leads to greater reproduction.

You are right strictly in terms of biological success. Somehow I don't think David Geffen is crying though.

He made a lot of money, but it couldn't buy him the public beach in front of his house, even though he spent years in court, trying to keep them out.

Definitely a loser, and mean as well.

You're jealous.

[manarak]

I think the winners are the people who succeeded in building the lifestyle that makes them happy.

For some, the happy lifestyle is owning a lot of businesses and meeting big people, for others it is climaxing 2-3 times a day inside a south-east Asian national or vice-versa.

To each their own.

There are many ways of being a winner.

[Darrel]

Most here have never been with a bargirl, yet most of the people I know in real life have, most of the people here are rich, most of the people I know in real life are not, most of the members here claim to have married highly educated and well connected beautiful young Thai women, most of the people I know in real life have not.

Most people can't play the piano but you and I can.

[Ulysses G.]

One thing for sure, you'll not find many losers on ThaiVisa, most here are winners, anonymous forums have the strange phenomenon where the vast majority are different to the mainstream.

Thai Visa. We are the 1 percent.

[Gary A]

I am content so that makes me a winner. I worked all my life and when I retired, all my business suits, ties, socks, long sleeved shirts and shoes went to a veterans organization. I vowed to NEVER again wear a suit and tie for the rest of my life.

I want no commitments, no meetings and I want to do exactly whatever I want to do and nothing that I don't want to do. I have a large well equipped work shop and enjoy tinkering but not to the extent that it could be considered work.

My wife actively farms so when she is busy, I volunteer to feed the chickens, ducks and the fish in our pond. When I am in the mood to eat fish I do catch them myself. Not only that, I clean them and cook them myself on the BBQ. I am the chief BBQ operator.

I go up on a nearby mountain a couple times a week and drink beer with whoever else happens to be there. I dislike fancy restaurants and much prefer my wife's cooking. On occasion, I do take her to a restaurant of her choosing, but NOT to any fancy places.

I used to make the rather long trip to Jomtien and stay in my condo and visit friends. It got to be boring and I missed my wife so I have rented out the condo. My wife was usually too busy to go with me so she stayed home and took care of the chickens, ducks and fish besides feeding my dog.

Life is good out here in the boonies.

Edited December 10, 2011 by Gary A

[473geo]

Never entered the race, winners losers, people do what they feel they must do for themselves, good luck to them.......

I set no targets.....but have somehow enjoyed my life most of the way.........even the not so good times on reflection ...and so it continues