Ten Things You Will Never Hear In Thailand.........

[tink2mutt]

Thai wedding guests - "look we have had enough Wiskey - save the rest for another time"

[dean999]

#73. "Yes that is my dog sh_t and ill pick it up. Sorry."

[chrisinth]

#74 National park attendant: 200 Baht? Nah, its 20 Baht same as the rest of the punters

[chrisinth]

#75 (Most) Thai dog owners: Actually its not my dog, and yes it will chew your <deleted> off

[tink2mutt]

76) Young girl with old man " I invited two of my friends to eat at the resto with us but they will pay their own way."

[tink2mutt]

Speaking of things you never hear - a bar lady told me once that the girls at the bar referred to short time with a japanese men as 333.

3 inches

3 minutes

3,000 baht.

True story - I laughed my head off.

P.S. Apologies if any japanese members were offended.

[CharlieH]

Market: those trailing bare electrical cables twisted together all over the floor are fine.

Restaurant: You want your meals served at the same time ?

[DP25]

Bitter, moaning farang - I can't wait to get home, and I'm certainly not going to obsessively moan about Thailand on the internet after I do!

[tink2mutt]

Not bitter and moaning - just having some fun.

78) I will just put a sign up warning people to be careful of this big hole in the sidewalk.

[pattayadingo]

Speaking of things you never hear - a bar lady told me once that the girls at the bar referred to short time with a japanese men as 333.

3 inches

3 minutes

3,000 baht.

True story - I laughed my head off.

P.S. Apologies if any japanese members were offended.

What???? 3 times the pleasure with less than half the size? What am I doing wrong?

[Naam]

immigration office: "no need to file for an extension of stay in future Sir. we have just been informed by the Ministry of Interior that all Farangs... i mean all honourable foreign guests and their wives have been granted permanent residence. and here's the application form for Thai citizenship. just sign at the dotted line and hand me a recent passport size photograph. unfortunately it will take three weekdays for processing. as weekend starts tomorrow you might not be able to pick up your Thai passport before wednesday noon. fees? No Sir, no fees! it's free of charge."

[tink2mutt]

81) This Somtam is too spicy!!

[tink2mutt]

82) No ice in my beer thanks - it makes it flat and watery.

[theblether]

The Blether: I'll be quiet

There's no chance of that

[theblether]

OUTSTANDING!!!!!...............

Thanks very much, highly entertaining, and you know the old line about "There's never a truer word said than a word said in jest"

[BookMan]

83) This footpath is for pedestrians only. No market stalls or motorcycle allowed

[BookMan]

84) I'm sorry, but I really don't know which way you need to go to get to that place.

[dean999]

#85. Some TV members,"I love ladyboys and visit them often."

[dean999]

#86. Before you bar fine a beautiful Thai lady,"sorry i have nuts."

Not my experiance but it makes me laugh to think of it happening.

[pipo1000]

Yes sir, the item we advertise we have in stock.

[farangme]

HomePro employee: let me show you where that is.

Thai relatives: Thankyou. That's very generous of you.

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[BookMan]

#90. Yes, we have added sugar to that

[pipo1000]

Homepro Employee ; Waterheater no have promotion.

[BookMan]

#92. Yes we admit it. You and your friends got drunk and we added a few more beers to your bar tab. We are sorry and wont do it next time.

[how241]

Some good and some funny thought here.

[samsiam]

#??...Strewth mate

[arminbkk]

Thai person: I wanna hear all about your country and culture, customs and traditions, and how things are organized, politics.............

Thai person: I don't like football.

Thai person: No whiskey for me please.

Thai man: I only have eyes for my wife/gf.

Thai woman: I do not look for honest, sincere, real love/soul mate, just for unadulterated fun ( )

[arminbkk]

#92. Yes we admit it. You and your friends got drunk and we added a few more beers to your bar tab. We are sorry and wont do it next time.

Yeah :: "we want you to join us because we like you, not because we are broke and we need somebody to pay since we still wanna get drunk".

[arminbkk]

#93 Sorry, I know I shouldn't make a dead stop in the middle of a crowded sidewalk, but I just love that dress hanging over there.

[pipo1000]

Look,it's snowing outside.