Dating Muslima

[007]

I'm about to date a Muslim girl.

I would like this to go towards a serious relationship. I understand that there will be no sex before marriage (which I respect). Anyone else who ever dated a Muslima in Thailand or elsewhere? (She lives in Bangkok, and seems to adjust to the "mainstream", i.e. she doesn't wear a head scarf.)

What can I expect from 'dating' her for an extended period of time? Kiss ---> yes/no? Petting? Holiday together? (Remark: this would probably all be without her parents knowing, if any.) I've been interested, and know one or two things about Islam, but not much about 'dating'.

Anyone who dated/married a Thai Muslima??

[ARISTIDE]

Thai Muslim used to be unique, no hijab, eat pork and socialize with all religions.

[Swiss1960]

main question is: Does she live her religion, i.e. take it seriously?

[QED]

I have dated quite a few Muslim girls, here, Indonesia, and Malaysia. Let me tell you - they are not as innocent as you think. A few were out and out sex maniacs, 1 was a virgin (aged 30) but we soon sorted that out.

Start out respectful to win her trust, after a week or two in every case in my experience, it has been anything goes. All will be strictly hidden from the family, if you want to go on holiday together she will have to lie to them. Some are OK with this, others not.

Meeting the family is a huge deal, and means she is very serious.

Most of the Muslim girls I have dated stuck to only 2 Islamic laws, no pork and praying about 20 times a day. The rest of it is 'up to you'!

[WarpSpeed]

Thai Muslim used to be unique, no hijab, eat pork and socialize with all religions.

Yeah and the no sex part doesn't necessarily apply either..

If you get to the possible point of marriage then a clip in your nether regions is necessary for you if you're not already and she and her family is devout, that might effect your thinking on that aspect..

Edited March 30, 2012 by WarpSpeed

[GentlemanJim]

Don't.......Seriously!

There are so many guys near where I live that continue to fall in to this trap. They all end up separated and/or divorced. The reasons are simple. If your relationship gets that serious you want to marry then you will have to/pretend convert to Islam. Once you have children the problems will start. About the age of two or three the wife's parents will insist on a strong muslim upbringing for their Grandchild. You may be living away from the Grandparents home area, but your wife WILL up and leave with your child, back to her parental home. There are many broken hearted men I know and when I hear another is about to embark on the same course of action I just say why? I have not known a relationship in Thailand between a muslim girl/non muslim man end any differently. If you have a baby girl she will be a valuable 'asset' to the family, new blood, whitish skin, worthy of a good dowry. I am not being racist or bigoted, these are just the facts from many many thai men I know that fell in love with a muslim woman. All will be great and well until you have children and they reach toddler age. Your wife may even love you very much but when her parents say 'come home and bring the child', thats it, and you will get NO visiting rights.

By the way, don't be fooled by the no sex before marriage thing. Young Muslim women are just as curious about sex as any other young woman, but don't get caught, her brothers will have your gonads.

So...you have been warned. Good luck.

[David48]

Thai Muslim used to be unique, no hijab, eat pork and socialize with all religions.

Yeah and the no sex part doesn't necessarily apply either..

If you get to the possible point of marriage then a clip in your nether regions is necessary for you if you're not already and she and her family is devout, that might effect your thinking on that aspect..

... and you've dated how many Muslim woman?

Just for WarpSpeed ... yes I dated a lady from Iran for over a year.

She considered herself Persian before Iranian.

Edited March 30, 2012 by David48

[007]

Thai Muslim used to be unique, no hijab, eat pork and socialize with all religions.

Yeah and the no sex part doesn't necessarily apply either..

If you get to the possible point of marriage then a clip in your nether regions is necessary for you if you're not already and she and her family is devout, that might effect your thinking on that aspect..

Wow, some quick and very useful replies. I dated some Buddhist Thai girls before, who had to lie to their parents too, so no difference. As for the sex, she ruled it out, which is okay with me. Then again, I wouldn't mind if she changed her mind. (Too early to say.)

As for the 'clip', it's okay with me. I also mentioned to her that I can do it, and soon. (I meant it, too.)

And the food; I read on a 'halal' website that KFC is halal and therefore okay for Muslims. (Then again, I saw a TV report recently about 'Halal' food in Malaysia, and they seemed to be very strict regarding food, restaurants, etc.)

[theblether]

Me?......I've dated one. Young Muslim's are no different to any other young people, they like to rebel and experiment. Where the difference is that when things take a turn towards being serious believe me, serious is what it is.

With very few exceptions, they will fall straight into line with their Islamic obligations, and obligation to family.

Gentleman Jim has given you an answer that should be pinned.

So!!........if all your looking for is a bit of fun.......carry on........if you are looking at a possible long term relationship, you better understand you are marrying Islam.

[David48]

If her faith is strong ... do you want to convert to Islam to keep the family unit together?

No more BLT's

EDIT

theblether was busy posting at the same time ... GentlemanJim's post is great advice.

Edited March 30, 2012 by David48

[GentlemanJim]

Thai Muslim used to be unique, no hijab, eat pork and socialize with all religions.

Yeah and the no sex part doesn't necessarily apply either..

If you get to the possible point of marriage then a clip in your nether regions is necessary for you if you're not already and she and her family is devout, that might effect your thinking on that aspect..

Wow, some quick and very useful replies. I dated some Buddhist Thai girls before, who had to lie to their parents too, so no difference. As for the sex, she ruled it out, which is okay with me. Then again, I wouldn't mind if she changed her mind. (Too early to say.)

As for the 'clip', it's okay with me. I also mentioned to her that I can do it, and soon. (I meant it, too.)

And the food; I read on a 'halal' website that KFC is halal and therefore okay for Muslims. (Then again, I saw a TV report recently about 'Halal' food in Malaysia, and they seemed to be very strict regarding food, restaurants, etc.)

Mmmmm

But you have ignored my post! Lets see what you are posting on here in 5 years! Best of luck.

[007]

Don't.......Seriously!

...

So...you have been warned. Good luck.

Great advice, Jim. Still, it's right at the beginning. So, I guess I will just date her a few times and see how it turns out. Can always do the 'runner'; no harm for the girl, as no hanky-panky, right?

[theblether]

Don't.......Seriously!

...

So...you have been warned. Good luck.

Great advice, Jim. Still, it's right at the beginning. So, I guess I will just date her a few times and see how it turns out. Can always do the 'runner'; no harm for the girl, as no hanky-panky, right?

That's no harm done..........what you going to do if she entrances you? Ladies can do that you know......it's like......witchcraft!!

[Jingthing]

If her family is religious, they will tend to want you to convert as part of the marriage agreement. The fasting thing during Ramadan isn't for sissies. No such issues with gay Thai Muslims, though!

[nocturn]

I have dated quite a few Muslim girls, here, Indonesia, and Malaysia. Let me tell you - they are not as innocent as you think. A few were out and out sex maniacs, 1 was a virgin (aged 30) but we soon sorted that out.

Start out respectful to win her trust, after a week or two in every case in my experience, it has been anything goes. All will be strictly hidden from the family, if you want to go on holiday together she will have to lie to them. Some are OK with this, others not.

Meeting the family is a huge deal, and means she is very serious.

Most of the Muslim girls I have dated stuck to only 2 Islamic laws, no pork and praying about 20 times a day. The rest of it is 'up to you'!

experience almost identical

[nocturn]

Don't.......Seriously!

There are so many guys near where I live that continue to fall in to this trap. They all end up separated and/or divorced. The reasons are simple. If your relationship gets that serious you want to marry then you will have to/pretend convert to Islam. Once you have children the problems will start. About the age of two or three the wife's parents will insist on a strong muslim upbringing for their Grandchild. You may be living away from the Grandparents home area, but your wife WILL up and leave with your child, back to her parental home. There are many broken hearted men I know and when I hear another is about to embark on the same course of action I just say why? I have not known a relationship in Thailand between a muslim girl/non muslim man end any differently. If you have a baby girl she will be a valuable 'asset' to the family, new blood, whitish skin, worthy of a good dowry. I am not being racist or bigoted, these are just the facts from many many thai men I know that fell in love with a muslim woman. All will be great and well until you have children and they reach toddler age. Your wife may even love you very much but when her parents say 'come home and bring the child', thats it, and you will get NO visiting rights.

By the way, don't be fooled by the no sex before marriage thing. Young Muslim women are just as curious about sex as any other young woman, but don't get caught, her brothers will have your gonads.

So...you have been warned. Good luck.

i have happily married friends raising children with muslim women in indo, malaysia and thailand. I have attended ceremonies in all 3 countries.

it does not mirror your experience at all, though all did 'convert' for the sake of marriage. I am not discounting the possibility. these women were all urbanites and very upper middle class. the families were quite cosmopolitan.

not sure how it would have played out with an extremely devout clan.

the bit about the brothers is spot on in all cases though, dont get caught.

[thaifkrlim]

if eventually you have to marry, convert her to the religion of your choice before marrying her (except M'sia)

only if she is mainstream and non religious, and her belief in your worthy companionship is stronger than the religious belief

[richard_smith237]

If things turn serious, is the any logical reason why she couldn't follow your faith?

If a mutually respectful relationship is expected to develop then compromise should exist from both sides.

In a world free of hypocrisy neither partner should be expected to compromise their beleifs.

I have only ever seen this forced change in faith be expected in one direction, why not the other way round. Why couldn't a muslim woman switch to Christianity? But, why would she have to? You and your family would be fair to her right?

This is not a One-way street, practice a fair life with equality of freedoms, and also expect that of the treatment you receive.

Slightly different: when My wife and I married I was asked if I will become Buddhust, I replied no, I not Buddhist, I'm not Thai, while I respect the belief and culture of others, I also expect that same respect to apply to mine.

When asked about future children, I replied that there are great aspects but also failings in the religion and attitudes of both our countries and cultures, I expect to give our future children the benefits of both....

[Swiss1960]

if eventually you have to marry, convert her to the religion of your choice before marrying her (except M'sia)

only if she is mainstream and non religious, and her belief in your worthy companionship is stronger than the religious belief

Does not work... Muslims CAN NOT convert from the Islamic believe point of view. There is no way out of being a muslima.

[Swiss1960]

Don't.......Seriously!

...

So...you have been warned. Good luck.

Great advice, Jim. Still, it's right at the beginning. So, I guess I will just date her a few times and see how it turns out. Can always do the 'runner'; no harm for the girl, as no hanky-panky, right?

I would be careful with doing the "runner"... she might go back to her family crying and telling them you stole her virginity etc etc... and you might end up finding a knive between your legs and being very kindly asked to convert to Islam and get married immediately... or otherwise be allowed to keep the knive as present but stuck between your rips...

[QED]

Yeah the whole marriage thing is a major problem. No way she will give up Islam, her family, friends etc. even if she's not really devout. You will have to change your name to Mohammed and go headbanging a few times a month.

I got to a point with a young Dr. where we seriously discussing this, that I suggested she should convert to Christianity was met with screeches of laughter, until she realised I actually wasn't joking.

Shame really, would have been good, but had to let it go. The bigotted attitude in the UK would mean that I would lose family and friends if I converted (which I never would).

BTW if you de-flower her she will chase you to the ends of the earth for the rest of your life - trust me it's not fun....

[maprao]

For her it is a one way street. She CANNOT change her religion. In some countries this is a crime called Apostasy which happens to be punishable by DEATH. So bear in mind if you can convert in order to marry her you will not be able to convert back to any other religion at any time in your life.

Also as a previously posted you will have to have you nether regions "SNIPPED" if not already done

Edited March 30, 2012 by maprao

[theblether]

I think 007 kind of knows he's in for a world of hurt.......I'm amused at his emoticon ...........

[BOS2BKK]

Don't.......Seriously!

There are so many guys near where I live that continue to fall in to this trap. They all end up separated and/or divorced. The reasons are simple. If your relationship gets that serious you want to marry then you will have to/pretend convert to Islam. Once you have children the problems will start. About the age of two or three the wife's parents will insist on a strong muslim upbringing for their Grandchild. You may be living away from the Grandparents home area, but your wife WILL up and leave with your child, back to her parental home. There are many broken hearted men I know and when I hear another is about to embark on the same course of action I just say why? I have not known a relationship in Thailand between a muslim girl/non muslim man end any differently. If you have a baby girl she will be a valuable 'asset' to the family, new blood, whitish skin, worthy of a good dowry. I am not being racist or bigoted, these are just the facts from many many thai men I know that fell in love with a muslim woman. All will be great and well until you have children and they reach toddler age. Your wife may even love you very much but when her parents say 'come home and bring the child', thats it, and you will get NO visiting rights.

By the way, don't be fooled by the no sex before marriage thing. Young Muslim women are just as curious about sex as any other young woman, but don't get caught, her brothers will have your gonads.

So...you have been warned. Good luck.

I agree with this completely. My last Thai Girlfriend was a Muslim. Initially she seemed about as Muslim as I am Catholic. It was an upbringing, and not much more. Sex was fun and often, and she was a blast to go out drinking with. She did not eat pork, but she did not go overboard with the praying either. Sometimes only first thing in the morning. She did not wear a scarf, or flaunt her religion. In fact we had dated probably 4 or 5 months before I even knew she was Muslim. I asked her why she didn't ask me to go to temple with her like past girlfriends had and she told me. After a while we got serious and started talking about a future. She started talking about our kids have to be raised Muslim, she made me take down all the Buddhas and the Virgin Mary Statue I had in my apartment. Eventually she took me to meet her family. That was a disaster. We went to her mothers birthday party with the whole family. I didn't need to speak the language to understand they were NOT HAPPY, and the dirty looks were not in short supply.. The following weekend she went home to visit, she came back with bruises and cigarette burns which she wouldn't talk about, Her earings and Navel peircing were out, and she was adament that I had to convert to Islam. Sex became less and less frequent, with her even encouraging me to go out and get with bar girls. We pushed through about another year of an off and on relationship fighting alot and eventually dropping the whole thing. I think this process will be repeated more often than not.

[borisloosebrain]

My mate dated a muslim lady in Australia -it turned into a total head<snip> that left him pretty scarred once the whole family got involved - which they eventually do. Psycho muslim brothers are a worry. It may be easier here in LOS but you might have to convert if you get serious else you might just get disappeared to save the family's face

Edited March 30, 2012 by metisdead
Profanity removed.

[IanForbes]

Don't.......Seriously!

There are so many guys near where I live that continue to fall in to this trap. They all end up separated and/or divorced. The reasons are simple. If your relationship gets that serious you want to marry then you will have to/pretend convert to Islam. Once you have children the problems will start. About the age of two or three the wife's parents will insist on a strong muslim upbringing for their Grandchild. You may be living away from the Grandparents home area, but your wife WILL up and leave with your child, back to her parental home. There are many broken hearted men I know and when I hear another is about to embark on the same course of action I just say why? I have not known a relationship in Thailand between a muslim girl/non muslim man end any differently. If you have a baby girl she will be a valuable 'asset' to the family, new blood, whitish skin, worthy of a good dowry. I am not being racist or bigoted, these are just the facts from many many thai men I know that fell in love with a muslim woman. All will be great and well until you have children and they reach toddler age. Your wife may even love you very much but when her parents say 'come home and bring the child', thats it, and you will get NO visiting rights.

By the way, don't be fooled by the no sex before marriage thing. Young Muslim women are just as curious about sex as any other young woman, but don't get caught, her brothers will have your gonads.

So...you have been warned. Good luck.

That is a well thought out warning, Take heed all ye horny males. I remember dating a Doukhobor girl back in my late teens. Her brothers pretty much sorted me out about having any future with their sister. It's pretty much the same thing with young muslim women and their families.

[onionluke]

I have a mate who married a muslim girl in Hong Kong and is now living in Glasgow with her and two brill wee children . In fact she has been the one to convert religiously , to celticfootballteamism .

[Jingthing]

Well Thai Muslims and Muslims from countries with religious freedom have more options under the law to convert, if they wish. Malaysian Muslims are extremely restricted in their ability to convert, for example. But in Thailand, the family would be the real issue.

Edited March 30, 2012 by Jingthing

[simple1]

I have been maried to a Thai Muslim for seventeen years, of which two years living in Pattaya where my wife was born and raised. Yes it is true you normally will be required to convert prior to marraige, but for me personally no big deal. yes you are provided with a Muslim name by the Imam when you convert. They older members of the family use my Muslim name, whlist the younger ones call me grandfather or uncle. Did not require having a "snip" . Any Muslim/Jew will not consume pork or pork products. In my case, out of respect, I also do not eat pork. I have found my wife's extended family (whilst poor) are honest, hard working, courteous and respectful. When they have needed monetary assistance they have always repaid me. About every month or two I'll go to Friday prayers - again out of respect. Talking with other westerners living in Pattaya the feedback I have got is Thai Mustim people are good people to deal with. However as with any Thai you do not want to dis-respect them.

Thai Muslims are a lt more laid back than from Arabic countries. Some of my extended family who have lived and worked in Saudi Arabia are more "ridgid" but no problems/attitude towards me. As we know any relationship to be a positive experience requires effort from both parties. PM me if you want any further input.

[theblether]

In fact she has been the one to convert religiously , to celticfootballteamism .

That's a terrible Cult, her parents are worried sick