May 21, 201213 yr Do you like having people around you? Prefer company to time alone? Are you (like me) a bit of a loner? --Read this next bit, only if you can be bothered!------------- Looks like ive offended a good friend, purely because i dont wish to do something together. Tried to diplomatically explain that i prefer a lot of time on my own. Im not anti-social, but i just really like my own company. My days are never dull, and im constantly busy. Another example..recently helped a friend out at the gym, as they were unsure how to use the equipment. Then they asked if we could go in together again, and i had to say that i prefer to work out alone (which i do, its a real pleasure for me to switch off and sweat out. No distractions). I said i was happy to show them what to do that time, but i only got quarter of my workout done. Said that i like to go in, work out, and finish...not spend a lot of time chatting (a lot of the workout time with my friend involved taking breaks and chatting..and i dont like massively rest periods between sets like that. Im there to work out, not to chat about life). Tbh, im just not much of a chatter in general anyway..and i get frustrated when talking takes up time when i want to be doing something constructive. Maybe that seems rude? Just hanging out isnt really my thing. I like activity based things. Something where i feel im achieving. It makes me feel quite sad that people would think im avoiding them, or being rude, when in fact, its just my personality. Will always help a friend out, if they needed me, just find sitting about doing nothing a bit of a waste of time........ maybe im missing a social gene..but i am actually truly content.
May 21, 201213 yr Just in case your opening questions weren't rhetorical... If I had to choose, I'd lean towards loner. I enjoy hanging out with friends when I do so, but don't need always be around someone. Back in Australia, I could quite happily go days without interacting with anyone at all; but, then again, could spend hours with mates just hangin'... If you are truly content,then that is what matters. If the friend that you fear you have offended is truly a 'good friend', then they should understand that you are simply being yourself, and not rude. As for preferring to work out by yourself - I'm with you on that one!
May 21, 201213 yr my darling...with me you shall never be alone; neither in flesh nor in spirit and I shall help you to overcome your 'aloneness' social dysfunction...and your celtic graces then shall be mine forever... (then tutsi dives for cover as someone shouts: 'INCOMING...') hey, I was only trine to help... but, yeah...I prefer my own company too except with small children...they are not very judgmental...
May 21, 201213 yr Author Like kids too Tutsi. Find them usually comfortable to be around, and fun to talk with. Sometimes far more insightful than adults! At social gatherings, I'll often hang out with the kids (As an aside, Its time to burst your bubble regarding my heritage though tutsi. Born in Scotland, but of Italian and Irish decent, with a modicum of English tossed in for good measure. Im mixed breed.. a mongrel really.. but a content loner kind of mongrel. )
May 21, 201213 yr Like kids too Tutsi. Find them usually comfortable to be around, and fun to talk with. Sometimes far more insightful than adults! At social gatherings, I'll often hang out with the kids (As an aside, Its time to burst your bubble regarding my heritage though tutsi. Born in Scotland, but of Italian and Irish decent, with a modicum of English tossed in for good measure. Im mixed breed.. a mongrel really.. but a content loner kind of mongrel. ) say, babe...you sound like my kinda gal...I'm half bolivian with the usual ethnicity confusion ('yer half latino?' 'yes!' 'so you must be half mexican...' 'no!' and so on...) but you got them beautiful gams from somewhere righteous...here's me and ms eek together walking on upper Suk and then someone sez: 'we don't allow half Bolivians and italian-irish-scottish-english combinations on the premises' and then me an' ms eek do a Samuel L Jackson Pulp Fiction number on their ass and then they wish that they hadn't been born... oh, me and ms eek!
May 21, 201213 yr if it were possible we could watch...together... did I ever tell you about the woman in HCMC and we useta hole up inna cheap hotel on Thi Sach St and divided our time between sex and watching movies on the in-house Turner Classic Movies channel (TCM)? it was hog heaven...but I was a vital man then and not the dysfunctional shell that I am today...and then she would go shopping and I would be on the internet and then she would return and model the little sexy outfits ('please darling, I want you naked from the waist down...') that she had just bought and then we would have sex and then turn on the TCM channel... watching old movies together is very romantic...try to get yer boyfriend interested and you will notice the difference...
May 21, 201213 yr Author I dont recall if you told that story tutsi. But then again, to be honest, your sexual exploits in varying locations, with various nationalities, in a variety of situations, retold in a variety of English dialects, has nullified my ability to recall any kind of details of any of your posts. Its just one big orgyfication of blurriness. I shall however suggest an old movie watching evening to my better half. Thank you.
May 21, 201213 yr I dont recall if you told that story tutsi. But then again, to be honest, your sexual exploits in varying locations, with various nationalities, in a variety of situations, retold in a variety of English dialects, has nullified my ability to recall any kind of details of any of your posts. Its just one big orgyfication of blurriness. I shall however suggest an old movie watching evening to my better half. Thank you. how can this be true? I haven't had sex with anyone but meself in nearly 6 years...but, if you say so then OK... I believe that my present dysfunction is punishment from above; it's like: 'you've had more than yer share tutsi...etc' two years ago I wanted to go and find the HCMC woman during the TET holiday in VN but I was so frozen cold with the north central coast weather that I couldn't move...even the locals were shivering in their boots and I went to Hanoi instead and stayed under the covers in a 4 star hotel for 3 days to get warm... well...punishment where punishment is due...but, aw hell...I wanted you to say: 'tutsi I want you come to me so that we can watch old movies together now...' just think of the entertainment value for the other members of thaivisa... (then tutsi hides under the covers and the little niece is en guard and snarls: 'no one messes with my uncle tutsi, if you please...' then tutsi sez from under the covers: 'darling, can you get me a diet coke? people out there aren't very friendly...')
May 21, 201213 yr Popular Post My time alone makes me appreciate my time with friends, and vice versa.
May 21, 201213 yr I said once that my past is awash with the tears of those who expected too much of me. My idea of ideal company is a woman who goes out a lot, a dog that sleeps a lot and a couple of friends that ring up and suggest lunch out about once a week and don't get the shits if I cry off occassionally.
May 22, 201213 yr As I get older I have noticed an increase in flatulence. There seems to be a direct correlation with this problem and my loneliness ( the more the wife farts, the less time I spend with her)
May 24, 201213 yr I have a pet dog, a monkey, a cat and a cock....what more could I want. Oh...forgot my kids....yeah them too.
May 24, 201213 yr Just in case your opening questions weren't rhetorical... If I had to choose, I'd lean towards loner. I enjoy hanging out with friends when I do so, but don't need always be around someone. I feel pretty much the same (you're never truly alone when you hear voices anyway) Never had a problem with my own company, I'm the most entertaining person I know. Two things do irk me somewhat, venturing into a regular watering hole and finding it occupied by a couple of drunken, loud mouthed, back slapping ex-pats with the combined IQ of the average jellyfish who can't understand why you are not entirely pleased to see them. And one that really does drive me up the wall, people who 'just pop round for a chat' uninvited, because they are never just popping round for a chat.
May 24, 201213 yr I tend to pop out on my own and sit there in brooding silence...quite happily...but will converse with anyone as long as the conversation is not tilted. Random chat is usually more fun to be honest....never a bad word said really...and many good times enjoyed. I am of course in the entertainment business anyway....its simply that most of my audience tend to fall asleep before the performance!
May 24, 201213 yr with my best friends many years ago we never did nothin' but sit around in companionable silence with marijuana and cheap red wine...then someone would bring up the issue of the decline in the local late night Pasadena burger cuisine and then all hell would break loose... 'Jodene! yer fulla shit!'...''Pup an' Taco' ain't no good no more, man, swear to god!'...'well then, why don't we go go down to Bill's Ribs and Chicken instead?...' and then a compromise was usually agreed and the companionable silence then resumed...
May 24, 201213 yr Ahhh... the marijuana years, never since has conversation seemed so succinct, food so delicious or Batman comics such great literature. Remember Cheech and Chong?
May 25, 201213 yr Ahhh... the marijuana years, never since has conversation seemed so succinct, food so delicious or Batman comics such great literature. Remember Cheech and Chong? Cheech and Chong, crazy.........LOL Scads, you must about as mature as me.
May 25, 201213 yr I prefer the company of other people in moderation....strict moderation. After 5 or 6 invites for dinner people generally get the idea it isn't my thing.
May 28, 201213 yr Author Just had a different friend on the phone irate at me because i dont want to go to a party tonight. He now wants to meet for coffee, and basically i know im going to get an earful about how im a recluse and its unhealthy. Personally i dont understand why people need to be in the company of others 24/7. Pff..coffee and a headache here i come.
May 28, 201213 yr Just had a different friend on the phone irate at me because i dont want to go to a party tonight. He now wants to meet for coffee, and basically i know im going to get an earful about how im a recluse and its unhealthy. Personally i dont understand why people need to be in the company of others 24/7. Pff..coffee and a headache here i come. I do feel your pain, but I'd take the coffee over a party ,most days of the year. Perhaps some positive there. I find now that when a friend or family wants to berate or lecture me on being more sociable and 'doing things' I just nod in agreement and say nothing. The conversation ends much quicker that way. I used to explain/justify my position to people on my disliking of continual social interaction. I don't like even having to explain this more than once to people, and I would prefer a policy of zero justification if I could. Some friends confuse my liking of space and time to myself as being a dislike of other people. For me this is not true at all. I like people and I like the occasional social interaction. Other friends will feel sorry for me. The think that I am lonely. They really don't believe me when I say I am happy.
May 28, 201213 yr Author Just had a different friend on the phone irate at me because i dont want to go to a party tonight. He now wants to meet for coffee, and basically i know im going to get an earful about how im a recluse and its unhealthy. Personally i dont understand why people need to be in the company of others 24/7. Pff..coffee and a headache here i come. I do feel your pain, but I'd take the coffee over a party ,most days of the year. Perhaps some positive there. I find now that when a friend or family wants to berate or lecture me on being more sociable and 'doing things' I just nod in agreement and say nothing. The conversation ends much quicker that way. I used to explain/justify my position to people on my disliking of continual social interaction. I don't like even having to explain this more than once to people, and I would prefer a policy of zero justification if I could. Some friends confuse my liking of space and time to myself as being a dislike of other people. For me this is not true at all. I like people and I like the occasional social interaction. Other friends will feel sorry for me. The think that I am lonely. They really don't believe me when I say I am happy. Wasnt as bad a berating as i thought it would be. Got given the guilt trip treatment, rather than a berating, layered on thickly. Got told to be dressed and ready to be picked up tonight. He knows as well as i do, i am NOT going.
May 28, 201213 yr Just had a different friend on the phone irate at me because i dont want to go to a party tonight. He now wants to meet for coffee, and basically i know im going to get an earful about how im a recluse and its unhealthy. Personally i dont understand why people need to be in the company of others 24/7. Pff..coffee and a headache here i come. I do feel your pain, but I'd take the coffee over a party ,most days of the year. Perhaps some positive there. I find now that when a friend or family wants to berate or lecture me on being more sociable and 'doing things' I just nod in agreement and say nothing. The conversation ends much quicker that way. I used to explain/justify my position to people on my disliking of continual social interaction. I don't like even having to explain this more than once to people, and I would prefer a policy of zero justification if I could. Some friends confuse my liking of space and time to myself as being a dislike of other people. For me this is not true at all. I like people and I like the occasional social interaction. Other friends will feel sorry for me. The think that I am lonely. They really don't believe me when I say I am happy. Wasnt as bad a berating as i thought it would be. Got given the guilt trip treatment, rather than a berating, layered on thickly. Got told to be dressed and ready to be picked up tonight. He knows as well as i do, i am NOT going. He's taking you to a pickup joint ?? Which one....what time ??
May 28, 201213 yr Just had a different friend on the phone irate at me because i dont want to go to a party tonight. He now wants to meet for coffee, and basically i know im going to get an earful about how im a recluse and its unhealthy. Personally i dont understand why people need to be in the company of others 24/7. Pff..coffee and a headache here i come. I do feel your pain, but I'd take the coffee over a party ,most days of the year. Perhaps some positive there. I find now that when a friend or family wants to berate or lecture me on being more sociable and 'doing things' I just nod in agreement and say nothing. The conversation ends much quicker that way. I used to explain/justify my position to people on my disliking of continual social interaction. I don't like even having to explain this more than once to people, and I would prefer a policy of zero justification if I could. Some friends confuse my liking of space and time to myself as being a dislike of other people. For me this is not true at all. I like people and I like the occasional social interaction. Other friends will feel sorry for me. The think that I am lonely. They really don't believe me when I say I am happy. Wasnt as bad a berating as i thought it would be. Got given the guilt trip treatment, rather than a berating, layered on thickly. Got told to be dressed and ready to be picked up tonight. He knows as well as i do, i am NOT going. The guilt trip is the worst. Family are especially good at it. I would like to say I am impervious to it, but that would not be entirely true. Your friend probably feels you should leave your house and attend the party because that is what he would do? You can tell people the truth but they only hear what they want to hear.
May 28, 201213 yr Author I tried that with one friend Taddy, and i guess i must have used that excuse too often with him, because it backfired one day when he took me aside and gently told me that i should consider visiting the hospital for tests, to find out why my immune system seems to be so bad. He was being genuine and considerate..and i felt rather ashamed. Since then all i can be is honest, and can only hope people are accepting and not get on my case about it.
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