Ever had your trust broken by a friend, partner, relative?

Would you forgive if it happens once? How about more than once? How many times would you forgive?

I strongly believe that relationships of any kind cannot thrive without the basis of trust.

Once broken, it can be like a worm eating at an apple from the inside out.

Or maybe it is something you can ever really recover from, ..or do you think the only thing to do is cut them out of your life?

well... What a good subject!

I could write a dissertation on the subject of 'trust'. and i will reply in greater detail later.

but for a quickie reply...

Yes, I have had my trust broken numerous times over the years by GFs, friends, business partners etc. All to varying degrees.

There are various levels of trust, and everyone decides what are the critical levels of trust for themselves.

I think you can recover from fairly much anything, but the relationship that is breached might never be the same.

I put a lot of store in integrity, trust and honesty, so it would depend on the level of breach of one of these pillars. By the level of the torment you appear to be going through, I am guessing someone has breached the highest level.

Each character will treat the indiscretion within their own tram ways of custom, mores and individual belief, but when it is someone where there is unparalleled conviction, only the individual can make that decision going forward.

In my opinion, if it is of the highest breach, I would never feel the same again, I would cut the trauma out and move on, no matter how bleak the future would look. But that's me.

Degrees eek, degrees........

How many degrees of the straight and narrow path can one stray before trust is broken?

So many variables, so many excuses, and so many human failings and relationship issues come into play.

If I had a girlfriend that cheated on me she would be an ex girlfriend, not because of some rampant jealousy on my part, merely because I wouldn't be able to put any trust into her again.

She would be an ex girlfriend.

If I had a wife that cheated on me, that would be different. So much more emotional capital will have been expended into the relationship, I would be duty bound as an adult to consider all the issues at hand, and to work at trying to repair the trust.

Marriages can survive breaches of trust, but the ultimate sanction would be that she would become an ex wife.

If I had a son, as I have, that habitually stole from me, then that is obviously also a very serious breach of trust.

But he can never be an ex son.

Three human relationships, three different conundrums.

Throughout my life I have learned one thing when it comes to the issue of trust, I can tolerate anything up until this point................

When it gets to the point of damaging my sleep, my health, my happiness, then it's all over. In my opinion apply that little litmus test to any scenario you are facing, then you will make the right decisions, and best of all, if you need to break a relationship due to a breach of trust, you will end up with the most important thing.........

A clear conscience.

I put a lot of store in integrity, trust and honesty, so it would depend on the level of breach of one of these pillars. By the level of the torment you appear to be going through, I am guessing someone has breached the highest level.

Each character will treat the indiscretion within their own tram ways of custom, mores and individual belief, but when it is someone where there is unparalleled conviction, only the individual can make that decision going forward.

In my opinion, if it is of the highest breach, I would never feel the same again, I would cut the trauma out and move on, no matter how bleak the future would look. But that's me.

I agree with all of this.

Sometimes things can be salvaged...but unlikely to have the same relationship ever again....It has happened to me with a relationship far more important to me than most in life...and one which cannot be discarded either. Thus we have worked at it over the years and have mended much...yet never will be the same. Different and good but never what it was.

Best wishes eek.

"Trust is like a vase.. once it's broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be same again."

It depends on the person, the situation and the repentance felt.

Sorry I cant be more specific than that but really it has to be an individual choice that you make based on only values you hold. How important is the person in your life, how strong is the relationship

Example, someone I know, not a really close friend but friendly breaks my trust. I don't really have much emotionally invested in the relationship so, for me anyway, its not that big of a deal. I would shrug it off as lesson learned and treat that person with friendly indifference. My sister did something truly terrible to me many many years ago when she was using drugs, when she sobered up she offered a most heartfelt apology which I knew she really and truly meant. I forgave her and she is still my best friend and closest living relative. I love her dearly and accept that what she did would never be repeated. As for a husband cheating, if its a one off sex thing when we have problems, yes I could let it go eventually but an emotional betrayal would be much harder to overcome and perhaps never would. I guess the idea that it changes the relationship but doesn't necessarily have to kill it makes alot of sense.