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Last week, a group of us were given a guided tour around the Olympic Stadium in London. At the end of the tour, we were each given a goodies bag. This included a pack of Olympic condoms.

When I got home, I showed them to my girlfriend.

"Olympic condoms?!" She said, "What is so special about them, then?"

I replied: "Well, they come in three colours: gold, silver and bronze."

"So, which one are you going to wear tonight?" she asks cheekily.

"The gold one of course," I said proudly.

She replied gently: "Why don't you put the silver one on? It would be nice if you came second for a change."

Greetings from over the Silver Sea

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