From reading this forum over the last month I see that their are quite a few Farang women in long term relationships or married to Thai Fellas.

I am just curious (nosey?!) as to whether you contribute / are (were?) expected to contribute financially towards the Thai Family (I appreciate that not every Farang woman will be involved with penniless Thai families / husbands earning significantly less).

As I said, just curious and possibly a dumb question - if you think it is - please flame me gently! - and I appreciate that not all "contributions" can be measured solely in money terms.

when i had a thai partner i did not contribute to his family and it wasn't expected of me. i did bring them little gifts now and then, and once when his mom was broke i gave him 2000 baht to give her but being the way he is he kept it for himself.

when i had a thai partner i did not contribute to his family and it wasn't expected of me. i did bring them little gifts now and then, and once when his mom was broke i gave him 2000 baht to give her but being the way he is he kept it for himself.

Really caring for his Mom, wasn't he?

LaoPo

The only times we've given my MIL money have been at Songkran or when she's taken care of our kid(s) for a few weeks.

Having said that, she spent a lot of her own money redoing her house last year- knocked down a wall, had a covered front porch built, retiled her roof.... she didn't have enough money to repaint the house to make it look all nice,though, so my husband and his sister each gave her 3000 baht. THe house looks great and she's happy.

It would have an enormous effect on our relationship if we were expected to give her money every month.

I have never been asked to contribute myself but my husband sends her a lump sum of money several times a year when she needs something but as it comes from our combined household expenses he checks we have nothing major to be paid or that we aren't broke that month. I don't mind, it's small change compared to what we spend in the UK but she doesn't want or expect a regular sum. His brother sends a thousand baht every month but mum looks after his daughter full time so it's fair IMO.

My husband's family is affluent and certainly doesn't need the pittance I could offer. That said, we earn our own keep, together.

Cheers folks..........interesting and seems all reassuringly "normal" - I was just curious and I wasn't sure whether my initial post was going to get any sensible / polite answers..............but I tend to go on the basis that the only "dumb question" is the one you don't ask.

Despite what many think, a lot of "farang" women do pay for sex with Thai men and have to support Thai families. I know personally of 4 or 5 cases where money is always an issue and the women end up paying the emotional "ransom"

My husband's family is affluent and certainly doesn't need the pittance I could offer. That said, we earn our own keep, together.

That's how it is with my in-laws and I never know what I should do, or what my place should be in the family. When we finally live in the same place I will be totally out of place.

Despite what many think, a lot of "farang" women do pay for sex with Thai men and have to support Thai families. I know personally of 4 or 5 cases where money is always an issue and the women end up paying the emotional "ransom"

Thanks for the contribution butterfly

I probably know more farang women with Thai partners than you do and NONE of them support their husbands family.

Neither do I consider helping the family out "paying for sex" and I sincerely doubt anyone else on this forum does either. If my family needed financial help would you consider my husband to be paying for sex by helping them out?

Despite what many think, a lot of "farang" women do pay for sex with Thai men and have to support Thai families. I know personally of 4 or 5 cases where money is always an issue and the women end up paying the emotional "ransom"

I've heard and read a lot of stories but have never heard of anything like this.

As for sending money to families I asked my friend in Bangkok about this once and she said it was pretty much financially equal which is how a relationship ideally should be.

The whole money sending thing in Thailand is a case of man providing for lady, not farang providing for Thai.

Despite what many think, a lot of "farang" women do pay for sex with Thai men and have to support Thai families. I know personally of 4 or 5 cases where money is always an issue and the women end up paying the emotional "ransom"

Thanks for the contribution butterfly

I probably know more farang women with Thai partners than you do and NONE of them support their husbands family.

Neither do I consider helping the family out "paying for sex" and I sincerely doubt anyone else on this forum does either. If my family needed financial help would you consider my husband to be paying for sex by helping them out?

Perhaps you don't know any Farang women with Thai boyfriends/husbands/lovers that ADMIT to paying for it! If a Farang man or woman betters the life of his or her mate - you're really paying for it too!

Farang man or woman betters the life of his or her mate - you're really paying for it too!

Well, with that attitude you must have very successful relationships. Personally, I have never gone into a relationship looking to see what the man can do for me and neither would I have been interested in a man who does likewise.

Neither do I consider helping the family out "paying for sex" and I sincerely doubt anyone else on this forum does either. If my family needed financial help would you consider my husband to be paying for sex by helping them out?

Actually men pay for sex while women pay for love, but at the end it's the same, you pay for something. For many Thai men, the only reason they stay with those "western" women is out of "convenience" or "simplicity" if you get my drift. The reason many Thai women "hates" Thai men is because of their legendary "unfaithfullness" and lack of "reliability". Thai women can see through them right away while farangs women would fall for their blatant lies and find their "unreliability" refreshing and cute. The number of "nightmare" stories I have heard with Thai men put all the Lady Bar scams in a different perspective. I wouldn't want to be a gay men or a farang lady in this country. I think the old, fat, and bald guy has the better end of the deal after all.

Seems to me you meet the wrong people Butterfly. Why don't you pop in for a visit next time you are down my way so I can introduce you to some real marriages?

Why don't you pop in for a visit next time you are down my way...

Are you sure?

Seems to me you meet the wrong people Butterfly. Why don't you pop in for a visit next time you are down my way so I can introduce you to some real marriages?

According to "he who must not be named" (ie: The_Moog ) butterfly probably spends too much time at Cascade in Nana to take you up on your offer.

Neither do I consider helping the family out "paying for sex" and I sincerely doubt anyone else on this forum does either. If my family needed financial help would you consider my husband to be paying for sex by helping them out?

Actually men pay for sex while women pay for love, but at the end it's the same, you pay for something. For many Thai men, the only reason they stay with those "western" women is out of "convenience" or "simplicity" if you get my drift. The reason many Thai women "hates" Thai men is because of their legendary "unfaithfullness" and lack of "reliability". Thai women can see through them right away while farangs women would fall for their blatant lies and find their "unreliability" refreshing and cute. The number of "nightmare" stories I have heard with Thai men put all the Lady Bar scams in a different perspective. I wouldn't want to be a gay men or a farang lady in this country. I think the old, fat, and bald guy has the better end of the deal after all.

I am always amused by comments similar to this one made by farang males. I suppose, Thai women who are foolishly entering marriage with Thai men are only doing so as a second option because they can't find a "better" farang male ro marry.

Why don't you pop in for a visit next time you are down my way...

Are you sure?

Sure, why not? Meeting people who love each other instead of people who are out for themselves might help alleviate some of that cynicism he has.

Then again, it might not.

Why don't you pop in for a visit next time you are down my way...

Are you sure?

Sure, why not? Meeting people who love each other instead of people who are out for themselves might help alleviate some of that cynicism he has.

Then again, it might not.

Thanks for the offer.

Not sure what is your social circle, so maybe you got more lucky than I was

I am an "average" guy who meet "average" people, statistics wise, and I have been here for quite a while so I think I have experienced what most "average" expats experience here, and this is also the feeling I got from other long term expats I meet here (from the English teacher to the businessman) but your social circle of friends could be an exception

I would love that you prove me wrong

butterfly, sorry but i though you were a gal.

change your mind about invitation yet SBK?

Nope, I know Butterfly is a guy.

To be honest, certainly my husband and I argue and have problems, what couple doesn't? But what matters is that we both love, care and respect each other. He's not in the relationship for what he can get out of me nor am I in it for what I can get out of him. The reason we are in this relationship together is because we love each other, and feel that we are more complete together than apart. If his family needed my help I would gladly offer (well, depends on the family member ) and the same goes for him helping my family.

I just don't see how that is using someone or paying for something if the relationship is based on mutual love and respect.

Why don't you pop in for a visit next time you are down my way...

Are you sure?

Sure, why not?

Forgive me; I was considering Butterfly's penchant for 'debating' the wrong side of the issues is all.

Perhaps if we're gentlemen, you could extend the invitation to me & Georgie too?

Well, to you certainly! Georgie would have to ask.

Well, to you certainly! Georgie would have to ask.

Cheers, sbk...it should be fun.

Nope, I know Butterfly is a guy.

To be honest, certainly my husband and I argue and have problems, what couple doesn't? But what matters is that we both love, care and respect each other. He's not in the relationship for what he can get out of me nor am I in it for what I can get out of him. The reason we are in this relationship together is because we love each other, and feel that we are more complete together than apart. If his family needed my help I would gladly offer (well, depends on the family member ) and the same goes for him helping my family.

I just don't see how that is using someone or paying for something if the relationship is based on mutual love and respect.

I agree with you 100%. My wife and I have to same admiration for each other as you and your husband; may be thats why our marriage lasted this long . If money was issue than we would have departed long ago.

BTW, my wife and I never argued, she yelled at me and I just listen and say "krub pom"

Smart man

Smart man

What's that expression?

If a man speaks in the forest...

Farang man or woman betters the life of his or her mate - you're really paying for it too!

Well, with that attitude you must have very successful relationships. Personally, I have never gone into a relationship looking to see what the man can do for me and neither would I have been interested in a man who does likewise.

If an "old, fat, bald man" buys pretty clothes and maybe a "boob" job for his younger girlfriend - he's a Pig!

If a "aging, plain, dumpy, "had to go all the way to Asia to find a man friend" woman pays for her younger boyfriend's dental work, maybe pin his ears back and get rid of her guy's flip flops and put him in real shoes - she's got "a good heart!"

If your mate, lover, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend doesn't contribute MONEY equally - you are paying for it too! Only men admit it more freely!

Farang man or woman betters the life of his or her mate - you're really paying for it too!

Well, with that attitude you must have very successful relationships. Personally, I have never gone into a relationship looking to see what the man can do for me and neither would I have been interested in a man who does likewise.

If an "old, fat, bald man" buys pretty clothes and maybe a "boob" job for his younger girlfriend - he's a Pig!

If a "aging, plain, dumpy, "had to go all the way to Asia to find a man friend" woman pays for her younger boyfriend's dental work, maybe pin his ears back and get rid of her guy's flip flops and put him in real shoes - she's got "a good heart!"

If your mate, lover, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend doesn't contribute MONEY equally - you are paying for it too! Only men admit it more freely!

That would be funny except its obvious you haven't read any of the thread at all. Nor any others on the Ladies forum.