Control Freak Farangs

[GuestHouse]

While I try to be precise in my use of language when I post it seems I nevertheless need to clarify a few things:

Firstly, I have mentioned Pattaya in my OP, I was referring to Pattaya city, as it is to Pattaya City the husband went after tying his wife up in the house. In referring to Pattaya I was not intending to imply that any of the people concerned were prostitutes or in anyway connected to the sex industry. If on reading or hearing the name Pattaya any member is inclined to believe I must be referring to Prostitutes, their Johns or any other connection to the sex industry then that association is purely in the mind of the person who sees it. I make no judgement as to why they should make such an association when one is not implied or intended.

Secondly, I understand that there are Thai men who treat their Thai wives similarly - but Thai men are not predominant amongst TV members, I have chosen to post on an aspect of a seemingly significant number of Farang/Thai relationships. My assumption is that here on TV Farang/Thai relationships are the majority. Correct me if I am wrong.

If anyone wishes to open a thread addressing Thai male abuse of Thai females, feel free to do so, but beware being tarred a racist - as someone has feebly attempted tar me.

Thirdly, I am very well aware of the large number of emasculated (read Pussy Whipped) farangs in Thailand - I've posted on the subject in the past. But the existence of large numbers of emasculated men does not detract from the observation I have made - Though I'm sure a very sound argument can be made that both Pussy Whipped Farangs and Control Freak Farangs share a number of root psychological problems.

Finally, if when reading my opening post you recognise something of your own behaviour in what I, and others have said, please resist the urge to lash out at me - Doing so does not address your own problems.

[inthepink]

Speaking for myself, I wasn't meaning to detract from your observations at all. I was just adding mine. I feel very sorry for the women that you mentioned in your original post.

Edited December 20, 2012 by inthepink

[daveh]

I've seen men in the States treat their Thai wives poorly, but nothing like this! I remember meeting one guy who didn't want his wife to get a driver's license. When my wife moved to the States, this was a top priority. We don't live in an urban environment so having a driver's license is important for independence. The culture shock of living in a new country is bad enough, but having to stay home with nothing to do would drive anyone insane.

I've also seen Thai wives treat their husbands poorly.

In both cases, there seems to be a mismatch; couples you just wouldn't expect to be together. In the case of the women treating their husbands poorly, it's usually a younger wife stepping out on her husband either temporarily or permanently.

Every now and again, I will get one of my wive's friends thanking me for "allowing" her to go out with them. It really bothers me, because it seems to imply that other women are not "allowed" out.

[kevvy]

Are you talking about prostitutes or is it just a coincidence that you talk about Pattaya in this post and many of your other posts?

Not that prostitutes deserve abuse more than other women but it is another ingredient in the mix for finding reasons for this.

If some men treat their wives as some kind of property , it could be because they have, in fact, paid for them.

it does not matter you you think they paid for them , women are not a piece of meat that you pay for ..did you pay for ,your meat ?

[NeverSure]

My Thai Gf ties me up.

Lovin it.

I would NEVER allow that.

Not unless she brought her beautiful girlfriend with her to help.

[tuky]

While I try to be precise in my use of language when I post it seems I nevertheless need to clarify a few things:

Firstly,.........

Hardly worth posting GH is it?

Your topic is very interesting and could generate a healthy debate, but instead you get labelled racist and so on.

What a shame.

[mjj]

That all sounds rather sad. I see more of the opposite from mixed couples living in Thailand. Guys who seem to have been voluntarily castrated when they moved in with their girlfriend and are no longer able to come out for a drink without their other half tagging along to keep an eye on them.

The version I hate is when the guy gets a phone call every 10 minutes when he is out with friends. Switching off doesn't work because she will turn up 20 minutes later to find out what's wrong with his phone.

Tell me about it. And the guys it happens to always seem to be normal, healthy males - no clue that they are about to turn into a big jessie as soon as they start dating an evil Thai lady (*joke*). My other half never seems to care where I go or what I do when I go out - which I suppose should worry me a little!

That will be me you are talking about. :-)

I never go anywhere without my family - unless its work. Nothing to do with trust or lack of, I just like spending time with my family more than other people I've met.

[Gary A]

I have given this some thought and quite frankly, I see the opposite situation much more frequently. This is based on the upcountry marriages and partnerships. One friend in particular happens to be quite well off and intelligent. He can't/won't make a move unless he asks his wife first. I don't see him very often because his wife has him well trained and she refuses to allow him to socialize with low life guys (her opinion) who may affect his training. Myself and the rest of my farang friends have come to the conclusion that he needs his wife to control him or else he wouldn't put up with it. His situation is such that he apparently willingly puts up with her since he has no financial or family (children) reasons to stay with her.

Maybe some women also have a need to to be controlled and have their decisions made for them. I might add that my wife is in no way submissive and I wouldn't even consider trying to control her. My wife wears no makeup and doesn't even own a dress. That's her decision and not mine.

[inthepink]

That all sounds rather sad. I see more of the opposite from mixed couples living in Thailand. Guys who seem to have been voluntarily castrated when they moved in with their girlfriend and are no longer able to come out for a drink without their other half tagging along to keep an eye on them.

The version I hate is when the guy gets a phone call every 10 minutes when he is out with friends. Switching off doesn't work because she will turn up 20 minutes later to find out what's wrong with his phone.

Tell me about it. And the guys it happens to always seem to be normal, healthy males - no clue that they are about to turn into a big jessie as soon as they start dating an evil Thai lady (*joke*). My other half never seems to care where I go or what I do when I go out - which I suppose should worry me a little!

That will be me you are talking about. :-)

I never go anywhere without my family - unless its work. Nothing to do with trust or lack of, I just like spending time with my family more than other people I've met.

That might be the case for you. I am talking about guys who want to come out for a drink with their friends but can't get away from their gf. If you choose to spend all your time with your other half, that's a different matter completely.

[bannork]

5555 As soon as I saw Gary's name I knew he'd be writing about the assertiveness of Issan women, and I agree with him.

My wife's feminine but when a local youth started throwing pebbles at one of our daughters she went up to him with a 'jorb', the Thai spade, thrust it under his chin, blade against the neck and told him she'd sever his neck if he continued!

But Gary, I'm worried about your 'no dress ' remark. Surely your wife has some 'par sin', Thai silk sarongs? Every respectable Issan lady needs at least 2 or 3.

One further question whilst I'm at it, what in the end happened to Maizefarmer? Did he have an accident and was he ever in Loei?

[tinfoilhat]

While I try to be precise in my use of language when I post it seems I nevertheless need to clarify a few things:

Perhaps some emoticons and a national flag to identify your country of origin would assist the general readership to understand.

[GreenSnapper]

Another racist anti-farang thread which just demonstrates the insecurities of a White Knight.

Yawn.....

[norrona]

an ex friend of mine used to lock his wife in the house whilst he went out to work, at first it was kind of funny and not really took seriously by those around him but one day it all became clear just how sad she was with him, with his blessing but you could tell he didn't like it my mum invited and took her out for the day to visit a thai friend of the family and they had a lovely time by all accounts until the husband returned home from work, phone calls asking what time she was coming home became more frequent so to avoid causing any grief they left early and made their way home, on the way home this lady broke down to my mum telling her about him and how she is scared of him...he is a big lump and she is tiny so of course easily intimidated by his presence but her words and this really disturbed me when i found out were, last time they went back to thailand she begged her father to let her move back home to korat as she was so unhappy in this realtionship but the father didn't want to listen as this man was paying for her younger brothers education and he was doing quite well.....she put up with it and as far as I know still does, I don't know it may have improved but that was the sacrifice...

[tinfoilhat]

Another racist anti-farang thread which just demonstrates the insecurities of a White Knight.

Yawn.....

having given the thread another scan as a result of your remark, i feel i must ask -- how is it either racist or anti farang?

[fish fingers]

I believe a lot of Thai women are taught from an early age to be subservient to men,

Yes, this is the way it is. This subservience is what attracts a lot of men from all over the world to hook up with a Thai woman.

I must admit I find it nice. It is what it is.

I do however have mixed feeling when my wife shows signs of subservience in front of my girls. I don't want them to grow up being subservient - I know that's hypocritical.

generally speaking thee subservience is just that -- a show.

the men described here are broken men. They have had failed relationships, been cuckolded, have lost money in bitter divorce settlements.

they hate themselves and they hate women. they are insecure and insignificant.

I pity the woman who ends up with them

u sum it up v well, and also be applied the other way because the demographic is shifting, there are alot of well-to-do professional thai women (for example in hotel sector)who end up with not so rich Farangs who are the subservient ones

Edited December 21, 2012 by fish fingers

[MrRealDeal]

It's not just a Farang problem it happens all over the world in all cultures. It's a worldwide womens rights issue not a Farang in Thailand issue.

You seem to know a lot of Farangs with problems from the women abusers to the emasculated ..... Maybe you need to find a better circle of friends or casual aquaintences.

You might find it a suprise but I don't have any aquantences that are women abusers or as you call it "pussy whipped". And my guess is most other people don't either , so why you ? What is it about you that attracts you to these people ? Or what is it about them that you are attracted to ?

I'm not being critical or making any assump[tions about you I'm just curious as to how you find yourself amoung these people when most people don't.

[TommoPhysicist]

I was mentally and occasionally physically abused by my English wife.

I've seen plenty of foreign men beaten and intimidated by their Thai wives.

I've seen a few Thai men also victimized like this.

This is the way some people treat their partners, the partners rarely have to put up with it, but we/they do.

Why make it a 'men are evil' thing?

Edited December 21, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[HardenedSoul]

Thirdly, I am very well aware of the large number of emasculated (read Pussy Whipped) farangs in Thailand - I've posted on the subject in the past. But the existence of large numbers of emasculated men does not detract from the observation I have made - Though I'm sure a very sound argument can be made that both Pussy Whipped Farangs and Control Freak Farangs share a number of root psychological problems.

Finally, if when reading my opening post you recognise something of your own behaviour in what I, and others have said, please resist the urge to lash out at me - Doing so does not address your own problems.

Amen to that, brother.

I was mentally and occasionally physically abused by my English wife.

I've seen plenty of foreign men beaten and intimidated by their Thai wives.

I've seen a few Thai men also victimized like this.

This is the way some people treat their partners, the partners rarely have to put up with it, but we/they do.

Why make it a 'men are evil' thing?

It's nothing of the sort.

You're way too sensitive because, perhaps, as you say, you were bitch-slapped by your ex.

I'm sure most would agree that it's typically the male that does the domineering in these kinds of abusive relationships. That you formed part of the minority where the reverse was the case doesn't change that

[transam]

Thirdly, I am very well aware of the large number of emasculated (read Pussy Whipped) farangs in Thailand - I've posted on the subject in the past. But the existence of large numbers of emasculated men does not detract from the observation I have made - Though I'm sure a very sound argument can be made that both Pussy Whipped Farangs and Control Freak Farangs share a number of root psychological problems.

Finally, if when reading my opening post you recognise something of your own behaviour in what I, and others have said, please resist the urge to lash out at me - Doing so does not address your own problems.

Amen to that, brother.

I was mentally and occasionally physically abused by my English wife.

I've seen plenty of foreign men beaten and intimidated by their Thai wives.

I've seen a few Thai men also victimized like this.

This is the way some people treat their partners, the partners rarely have to put up with it, but we/they do.

Why make it a 'men are evil' thing?

It's nothing of the sort.

You're way too sensitive because, perhaps, as you say, you were bitch-slapped by your ex.

I'm sure most would agree that it's typically the male that does the domineering in these kinds of abusive relationships. That you formed part of the minority where the reverse was the case doesn't change that

Rolox.

[HardenedSoul]

Rolox.

Ahhh top quality response . . . as always

[transam]

Rolox.

Ahhh top quality response . . . as always

Yep, can't risk my real response. But you got the message.

[HardenedSoul]

Rolox.

Ahhh top quality response . . . as always

Yep, can't risk my real response.

Why not?

Is the wife in the vicinity?

[transam]

Rolox.

Ahhh top quality response . . . as always

Yep, can't risk my real response.

Why not?

Is the wife in the vicinity?

Don't be silly now.

[arlissmichaels]

Another racist anti-farang thread which just demonstrates the insecurities of a White Knight.

Yawn.....

And someone had the audacity to like this post

[MrRealDeal]

It seems anti farang because it is.

[Rob8891]

It seems that some people are incapable of reading ALL of the posts and then comprehending them ...By the end of the first page, it should have been sufficiently clear to anyone with reasonable reading and thinking skills to see that several different aspects were being posted, not just an "anti farang" perspective.

If the thread is descending into claims of racism, it is perhaps because some appear to lack the skills mentioned above, and in that case, we all know where yet another thread will end up.

Who wants to start the countdown?

[MrRealDeal]

You are partially correct it's not just anti farang it has more to offer ........ thats means it is anti farang as well as other things ........ You lack some skills yourself ..... like the skill to realise something that it anti farang and other things is still anti farang ........ nice try but fail

[Brodie]

Seems like some people have had their toes stepped on and are squealing 'foul'.

[Rob8891]

You are partially correct it's not just anti farang it has more to offer ........ thats means it is anti farang as well as other things ........ You lack some skills yourself ..... like the skill to realise something that it anti farang and other things is still anti farang ........ nice try but fail

No, I am 100% correct.... Your post is as pointless as the direction in which this thread is heading.

[TommoPhysicist]

I'm sure most would agree that it's typically the male that does the domineering in these kinds of abusive relationships. That you formed part of the minority where the reverse was the case doesn't change that

Most surveys indicate that it's a fairly 'equal opportunities' thing.

Men just are less likely to admit it happening to them.

Probably due to the type of attitude you display in your post.