Control Freak Farangs

[HardenedSoul]

TommoThePhysicist should be TommoTheMasochist then

He does seem to pick 'em, doesn't he?

[BookMan]

Example: when i was in a Thai bar a farang and his spouse where arguing quietly. When suddenly the farang grabs her by the arm and exclaimed loudly for everyone to hear:"You can never talk to me like that in front of my friends!" I am sure she had her reasons.. But it doesnt justify the treatment she has just been given. I could only imagine how he treats her at home.

Hmmmm ..... most Thai girls I know would whack the scoundrel with a beer bottle, or stab him with the steak knife. I'm wondering where I can find these 'humble' ones you talk about? My wife is psycho vicious and quick tempered (but in a cute way). Took me ages to persuade mine not to carry a huge flick knife in her purse all the time.

The both of you should start singing lessons and do a village production of West Side Story

[Halion]

I also have knowledge of the paranoid beaviour of several Thai spouses/ GF. I also have two friends from the UK, both married before and now with Thai wives. they are both in thier early 40' and hold well paid jobs and a high standard of living. They are generous and good providers. Problem is that there is a shitfest if they even suggest going out with their falang friends and as an earlier poster mentioned their bloody handphones ring every twenty minutes spoiling the evening for all.

The prognosis is fairly simple, both these relationships started as a bar fine and progressed to matrimony. Both spouses came from the ass hole of nowhere and they had landed good men who took good care of them and family and dramitically changed and improved their lives, however ,owing to the wife's background they were only too aware of what lies in wait in the bars, clubs and coffee shops in Thailand which could overturn their applecart and the paranoia sets in. Neither of these guys are lounge lizards, however, that make no difference at all as their wives perceive that their future is at risk if they allow hubby to go out. It ends up badly eventually as no one enjoys living in such a controlled manner.

In the case of the original post the cause of the paranoia is the same, chronic insecurity for a myriad of reasons.

[Dancealot]

We will call it: East Side Story then..

[Dancealot]

On topic. It has been suggested by Halion Thai woman are paranoid to the extreme and this would in some sick way explain the actions of Farang spouses?

I am speculating here...

Edited December 23, 2012 by Dancealot

[overherebc]

That all sounds rather sad. I see more of the opposite from mixed couples living in Thailand. Guys who seem to have been voluntarily castrated when they moved in with their girlfriend and are no longer able to come out for a drink without their other half tagging along to keep an eye on them.

The version I hate is when the guy gets a phone call every 10 minutes when he is out with friends. Switching off doesn't work because she will turn up 20 minutes later to find out what's wrong with his phone.

Tell me about it. And the guys it happens to always seem to be normal, healthy males - no clue that they are about to turn into a big jessie as soon as they start dating an evil Thai lady (*joke*). My other half never seems to care where I go or what I do when I go out - which I suppose should worry me a little!

She can't turn up twenty minutes later or any other time if he makes sure she doesn't know where he is.

When you've seen how effective the bar jungle drum system is you would answer that one yourself.

[chiangmaikelly]

I also have knowledge of the paranoid beaviour of several Thai spouses/ GF. I also have two friends from the UK, both married before and now with Thai wives. they are both in thier early 40' and hold well paid jobs and a high standard of living. They are generous and good providers. Problem is that there is a shitfest if they even suggest going out with their falang friends and as an earlier poster mentioned their bloody handphones ring every twenty minutes spoiling the evening for all.

The prognosis is fairly simple, both these relationships started as a bar fine and progressed to matrimony. Both spouses came from the ass hole of nowhere and they had landed good men who took good care of them and family and dramitically changed and improved their lives, however ,owing to the wife's background they were only too aware of what lies in wait in the bars, clubs and coffee shops in Thailand which could overturn their applecart and the paranoia sets in. Neither of these guys are lounge lizards, however, that make no difference at all as their wives perceive that their future is at risk if they allow hubby to go out. It ends up badly eventually as no one enjoys living in such a controlled manner.

In the case of the original post the cause of the paranoia is the same, chronic insecurity for a myriad of reasons.

It makes sense. I've been married three times and I never realized my first three wives were ex hookers. But the control behavior you describe fits them to a tee.

Edited December 23, 2012 by chiangmaikelly

[overherebc]

I also have knowledge of the paranoid beaviour of several Thai spouses/ GF. I also have two friends from the UK, both married before and now with Thai wives. they are both in thier early 40' and hold well paid jobs and a high standard of living. They are generous and good providers. Problem is that there is a shitfest if they even suggest going out with their falang friends and as an earlier poster mentioned their bloody handphones ring every twenty minutes spoiling the evening for all.

The prognosis is fairly simple, both these relationships started as a bar fine and progressed to matrimony. Both spouses came from the ass hole of nowhere and they had landed good men who took good care of them and family and dramitically changed and improved their lives, however ,owing to the wife's background they were only too aware of what lies in wait in the bars, clubs and coffee shops in Thailand which could overturn their applecart and the paranoia sets in. Neither of these guys are lounge lizards, however, that make no difference at all as their wives perceive that their future is at risk if they allow hubby to go out. It ends up badly eventually as no one enjoys living in such a controlled manner.

In the case of the original post the cause of the paranoia is the same, chronic insecurity for a myriad of reasons.

It makes sense. I've been married three times and I never realized my first three wives were ex hookers. But the control behavior you describe fits them to a tee.

Lived with a hooker in BKK for 3 years and we both knew the score. Great time was had by both, the only real expense was the industrial strength condoms. She never wanted to control me and I never wanted to control her.Suited me fine as lots of guys were paying for my lifestyle.

[TommoPhysicist]

Example: when i was in a Thai bar a farang and his spouse where arguing quietly. When suddenly the farang grabs her by the arm and exclaimed loudly for everyone to hear:"You can never talk to me like that in front of my friends!" I am sure she had her reasons.. But it doesnt justify the treatment she has just been given. I could only imagine how he treats her at home.

Hmmmm ..... most Thai girls I know would whack the scoundrel with a beer bottle, or stab him with the steak knife. I'm wondering where I can find these 'humble' ones you talk about? My wife is psycho vicious and quick tempered (but in a cute way). Took me ages to persuade mine not to carry a huge flick knife in her purse all the time.

Different strokes for different folks . I lived with a vicious girl a few years. I have grown out of it and prefer the mild and easy now.

I have also lived with an unpredictable quick to temper/violence/abuse woman (not Thai) and I am certainly happy not to be in that type of relationship now. I look for the warning signs early on.

By comparison my Thai GF is a meek and mild lamb

At least I never have to worry about acts of violence directed at me from other people.

My wife (and her sister) are more effective than most bodyguards.

[Dancealot]

I also have knowledge of the paranoid beaviour of several Thai spouses/ GF. I also have two friends from the UK, both married before and now with Thai wives. they are both in thier early 40' and hold well paid jobs and a high standard of living. They are generous and good providers. Problem is that there is a shitfest if they even suggest going out with their falang friends and as an earlier poster mentioned their bloody handphones ring every twenty minutes spoiling the evening for all.

The prognosis is fairly simple, both these relationships started as a bar fine and progressed to matrimony. Both spouses came from the ass hole of nowhere and they had landed good men who took good care of them and family and dramitically changed and improved their lives, however ,owing to the wife's background they were only too aware of what lies in wait in the bars, clubs and coffee shops in Thailand which could overturn their applecart and the paranoia sets in. Neither of these guys are lounge lizards, however, that make no difference at all as their wives perceive that their future is at risk if they allow hubby to go out. It ends up badly eventually as no one enjoys living in such a controlled manner.

In the case of the original post the cause of the paranoia is the same, chronic insecurity for a myriad of reasons.

It makes sense. I've been married three times and I never realized my first three wives were ex hookers. But the control behavior you describe fits them to a tee.

Lived with a hooker in BKK for 3 years and we both knew the score. Great time was had by both, the only real expense was the industrial strength condoms. She never wanted to control me and I never wanted to control her.Suited me fine as lots of guys were paying for my lifestyle.

And you are ok with that...

[overherebc]

Dancealot

Was at the time , 90's, but it was after divorce in UK and all I wanted was a good time with no thoughts about anything else, for sure was a lot younger but wouldn't go that way now.

[Dancealot]

Dancealot

Was at the time , 90's, but it was after divorce in UK and all I wanted was a good time with no thoughts about anything else, for sure was a lot younger but wouldn't go that way now.

Understand now For 30 minutes i thought you where one of those

[rattler]

Sounds to me like a trust- insecurity issue, personally my Wife can do what the hell she wants because I know she is not some fly by night floozy after a quick shag/easy money.

No trust= no point, in my opinion.

She has access to our money with +7 million in bank accounts if she really wanted she could run off with the lot.

Then again to get it in perspective she earns +200k a month which rather shocked one of her friends who lives in the U.S who in conversation almost fainted when she realised her "well paid" maid job was in fact peanuts compared to what could be earned in Bangkok by a Thai with some get up and go.

The friend said she only worked 3 days a week and got much more than when she was in Thailand............. however once my Wife told her what she was earning I think she realised it wasnt so much any more.

[phuturatica]

This kind of abuse happens in all cultures and all countries. I'm not sure if happens more with farang guys and Thai women... But either way it shouldn't be tolerated, no matter what. It does not matter which cultures or nationalities are involved.

I hope all the women you speak of are ok and get out of this horrible situation.

[Tanaka]

Are you talking about prostitutes or is it just a coincidence that you talk about Pattaya in this post and many of your other posts?

Not that prostitutes deserve abuse more than other women but it is another ingredient in the mix for finding reasons for this.

If some men treat their wives as some kind of property , it could be because they have, in fact, paid for them.

I think there are very few men who do not, one way or another, pay for their wives. That does, however, not give them the right to deny the women their human rights.

[Tanaka]

The Op says someone isn't allowed to wear make-up. First and only condition I made before we got married: no chemical brainwashed crap smeared on your face, please! People in shops volunteer that she is a beauty, so why doesn't she wear make-up? From my point of view she is a beauty so doesn't need make-up. No way I could kiss a lip-sticked girl, which admittedly cuts down my choice a bit. In return I shower at least once a month...

Once a month may be overdoing it just a little, don't you think? You should consider the waste of water too. Is there not a klong somewhere near that you could utilize?

[inthepink]

Are you talking about prostitutes or is it just a coincidence that you talk about Pattaya in this post and many of your other posts?

Not that prostitutes deserve abuse more than other women but it is another ingredient in the mix for finding reasons for this.

If some men treat their wives as some kind of property , it could be because they have, in fact, paid for them.

I think there are very few men who do not, one way or another, pay for their wives. That does, however, not give them the right to deny the women their human rights.

Why does somebody always have to make this ridiculous statement when the subject of prostitution arises on this board (which it does with monotonous regularity). I always wonder whether it is because the poster is trying to justify their decision to rent a wife. It's quite possible you don't of course so please don't take offence, but I wonder about the mentality of men who think this way.

Successful career women are far more numerous than they were a few decades ago so I would imagine that a fair proportion of married males don't actually end up paying for their wives nowadays, at least not unless they choose to. But following your logic, you could compare buying your wife a gift or paying for dinner when going on a date with prostitution; it would be a rather sad outlook on life though.

Edited December 23, 2012 by inthepink

[HardenedSoul]

Are you talking about prostitutes or is it just a coincidence that you talk about Pattaya in this post and many of your other posts?

Not that prostitutes deserve abuse more than other women but it is another ingredient in the mix for finding reasons for this.

If some men treat their wives as some kind of property , it could be because they have, in fact, paid for them.

I think there are very few men who do not, one way or another, pay for their wives. That does, however, not give them the right to deny the women their human rights.

If you're referring to foreign men in Thailand, then you may very well be right.

Plenty of instances in "farangland" where men don't pay for their wives . . . in any way.

[chiangmaikelly]

Are you talking about prostitutes or is it just a coincidence that you talk about Pattaya in this post and many of your other posts?

Not that prostitutes deserve abuse more than other women but it is another ingredient in the mix for finding reasons for this.

If some men treat their wives as some kind of property , it could be because they have, in fact, paid for them.

I think there are very few men who do not, one way or another, pay for their wives. That does, however, not give them the right to deny the women their human rights.

If you're referring to foreign men in Thailand, then you may very well be right.

Plenty of instances in "farangland" where men don't pay for their wives . . . in any way.

Until the divorce.

[TommoPhysicist]

Are you talking about prostitutes or is it just a coincidence that you talk about Pattaya in this post and many of your other posts?

Not that prostitutes deserve abuse more than other women but it is another ingredient in the mix for finding reasons for this.

If some men treat their wives as some kind of property , it could be because they have, in fact, paid for them.

I think there are very few men who do not, one way or another, pay for their wives. That does, however, not give them the right to deny the women their human rights.

If you're referring to foreign men in Thailand, then you may very well be right.

Plenty of instances in "farangland" where men don't pay for their wives . . . in any way.

No, you just pay at the end, with your house, pension and children.

[Tanaka]

Are you talking about prostitutes or is it just a coincidence that you talk about Pattaya in this post and many of your other posts?

Not that prostitutes deserve abuse more than other women but it is another ingredient in the mix for finding reasons for this.

If some men treat their wives as some kind of property , it could be because they have, in fact, paid for them.

I think there are very few men who do not, one way or another, pay for their wives. That does, however, not give them the right to deny the women their human rights.

Why does somebody always have to make this ridiculous statement when the subject of prostitution arises on this board (which it does with monotonous regularity). I always wonder whether it is because the poster is trying to justify their decision to rent a wife. It's quite possible you don't of course so please don't take offence, but I wonder about the mentality of men who think this way.

Successful career women are far more numerous than they were a few decades ago so I would imagine that a fair proportion of married males don't actually end up paying for their wives nowadays, at least not unless they choose to. But following your logic, you could compare buying your wife a gift or paying for dinner when going on a date with prostitution; it would be a rather sad outlook on life though.

If you cared to read the post I replied to, it might just make things a little clearer to you. Or not. And your imagination does not qualify as facts.

[StreetCowboy]

Are you talking about prostitutes or is it just a coincidence that you talk about Pattaya in this post and many of your other posts?

Not that prostitutes deserve abuse more than other women but it is another ingredient in the mix for finding reasons for this.

If some men treat their wives as some kind of property , it could be because they have, in fact, paid for them.

I think there are very few men who do not, one way or another, pay for their wives. That does, however, not give them the right to deny the women their human rights.

If you're referring to foreign men in Thailand, then you may very well be right.

Plenty of instances in "farangland" where men don't pay for their wives . . . in any way.

I don't understand what you mean by "pay for your wife"? Do you mean like as in "buy your wife" or do you mean as in "Two return tickets, for me and my wife, and I'll be paying"? If the former, then I think there are not many of us anywhere that do so. If you mean the latter, then I would think tend to less of any man that did not, though I accept that that is a slightly archaic attitude. I do, however, believe that in a relationship, the gentleman should wear the sporran.

SC

Edit: and the donkey jacket

Edited December 23, 2012 by StreetCowboy

[StreetCowboy]

The Op says someone isn't allowed to wear make-up. First and only condition I made before we got married: no chemical brainwashed crap smeared on your face, please! People in shops volunteer that she is a beauty, so why doesn't she wear make-up? From my point of view she is a beauty so doesn't need make-up. No way I could kiss a lip-sticked girl, which admittedly cuts down my choice a bit. In return I shower at least once a month...

Once a month may be overdoing it just a little, don't you think? You should consider the waste of water too. Is there not a klong somewhere near that you could utilize?

The Op says someone isn't allowed to wear make-up. First and only condition I made before we got married: no chemical brainwashed crap smeared on your face, please! People in shops volunteer that she is a beauty, so why doesn't she wear make-up? From my point of view she is a beauty so doesn't need make-up. No way I could kiss a lip-sticked girl, which admittedly cuts down my choice a bit. In return I shower at least once a month...

Once a month may be overdoing it just a little, don't you think? You should consider the waste of water too. Is there not a klong somewhere near that you could utilize?

Once a month? He's probably a poof

[TommoPhysicist]

Successful career women are far more numerous than they were a few decades ago so I would imagine that a fair proportion of married males don't actually end up paying for their wives nowadays, at least not unless they choose to. But following your logic, you could compare buying your wife a gift or paying for dinner when going on a date with prostitution; it would be a rather sad outlook on life though.

Less than 10% of western women have successful careers.

I'm guessing the men they choose will mostly be even more successful than them, so still be paying at some time.

[StreetCowboy]

This kind of abuse happens in all cultures and all countries. I'm not sure if happens more with farang guys and Thai women... But either way it shouldn't be tolerated, no matter what. It does not matter which cultures or nationalities are involved.

I hope all the women you speak of are ok and get out of this horrible situation.

It probably happens more often when there is a gross disparity of (economic) power within the relationship, and poor communication within the relationship. It probably happens more when the abused partner does not have good links to their immediate community.

SC

[overherebc]

Dancealot

Was at the time , 90's, but it was after divorce in UK and all I wanted was a good time with no thoughts about anything else, for sure was a lot younger but wouldn't go that way now.

Understand now For 30 minutes i thought you where one of those

To be honest I was probably lucky to have met someone who had been divorced from a guy who treated her like sh-t and was looking for the opposite as probably I was. Perhaps in our way we were both getting revenge on past partners by a sort of mutual freedom.with something dependable to fall back on. Anyway we eventually came to the decision that it was a good time (experience) and now she is happily married as I am. It's all part of lifes rich tapestry.

[HardenedSoul]

If you're referring to foreign men in Thailand, then you may very well be right.

Plenty of instances in "farangland" where men don't pay for their wives . . . in any way.

Until the divorce.

ALthough 50% of marriages do end on divorce, it's not always the man who ends up paying, is it?

No, you just pay at the end, with your house, pension and children.

Ah the almighty pension again.

Should've got a pre-nup.

[TommoPhysicist]

[should've got a pre-nup.

1. I was married before the days of the pre-nup

2. Having children invalidates pre-nups in the UK

Anyway, what would you know, you admit to not having a wife or gf in the last 5 years.

Edited December 23, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[HardenedSoul]

[should've got a pre-nup.

1. I was married before the days of the pre-nup

2. Having children invalidates pre-nups in the UK

Anyway, what would you know, you admit to not having a wife or gf in the last 5 years.

Yeah. I was smart enough to swerve it.

Thank heavens too or I'd have ended up as bitter and jaded about women as you, wouldn't I?

[StreetCowboy]

Successful career women are far more numerous than they were a few decades ago so I would imagine that a fair proportion of married males don't actually end up paying for their wives nowadays, at least not unless they choose to. But following your logic, you could compare buying your wife a gift or paying for dinner when going on a date with prostitution; it would be a rather sad outlook on life though.

Less than 10% of western women have successful careers.

I'm guessing the men they choose will mostly be even more successful than them, so still be paying at some time.

What proportion of men have successful careers? Like most of my colleagues, I have plateaud at disappointing mediocrity, which, I am sure, would have my schoolteachers turning in their graves, were they dead.

SC