Advise Needed

[Crazy chef 1]

Hi fellows,I would like to get advise from you guys who are living much longer here than me.sometimes the missus drives me crazy.... For example: next Friday we wanna move in our new own house and due that she knows the folks around here her part( my part is to pay the house) was to organize a car and two guys to do the moving...today I asked her if everything is organized? Reply: sure darling no ploblem.me astonished so I asked some further questions....finally I found out that there will be one car and one( didn't I asked for two)guy ready and stand by on( what a surprise) on Saturday... .yesterday my motorbike got a flat tyre and above mentioned missus knows the guy who will come to fix it TODAY at 3 pm.guy shows up at 4 pm started my bike and asked where is the problem.me gentle as I am directed to the flat tire and he looked astonished bec wify told him that I can not start my bike... .now my question how do you guys handle those kind of situation and stay jay Jen Jen ,me it is driving just nuts.and this was just a small excerpt .don't get me wrong she is a well educated girl and a world class wife but for me (as a very organized people who has to schedule his time very carefully due that I am still working) situation like this are difficult to absorb.please show me some ways to deal whit that.cheers

[TommoPhysicist]

Friday is probably an unlucky day to move, so she arranged to move on lucky Saturday.

M/c could be wife not understanding you, or m/c repair man being dumb as a pond plant.

All down to communication problems.

If your mrs. doesn't manage to arrange stuff to your liking, why not do the arranging yourself?

I never allow my wife to arrange anything at all.

I'm thinking you need to learn some Thai ...... just a thought.

PS

Don't even think of learning Thai from your wife!

Edited January 27, 2013 by TommoPhysicist

[whybother]

Didn't you know she was like that before you married her?

[Jezz]

To be fair it sounds perfectly normal to me. You kinda get used to dealing with things like 'soon' being anytime in the next month, or ..... Oh, the list is endless and trying to work out what is really meant is impossible. Just take a deep breath and repeat, "mai pen rai" 100 times slowly and you'll be fine.

[TommoPhysicist]

Also

Don't arrange your life around her, let her arrange her life around you.

Unexpected planned trips by her .... she tells you the day before ....... you always have prior arrangements that can't be broken.

Never go anyplace where her friends/relatives expect you to pay for everyone.

Arrange stuff without her, on a regular basis,

Friday night boy's night out .... no women.

Tuesday golf all day ...... no women.

It all helps to train her expectations.

Edited January 27, 2013 by TommoPhysicist

[jamescollister]

I drink. Jim

[Dancealot]

1 Thing.

When the day comes to move your house(that saturday) be prepared that all plans can be changed and you could be of visit some relatives instead of moving.

I learned that everything can change at any time here. Making plans is a mood killer for someone who values expectations. This is the way of life and i try to cope with this as well. Relax and have a drink

Edited January 27, 2013 by Dancealot

[473geo]

I discovered through experience that the scheduling being very flexible is nothing to do with the organisational skills of my wife, but rather the expectation that the other party may arrive at a differing date and time to the initial agreed time. So I let her organise and do not bother asking for a specific time frame, the job in hand always gets done, no problem. If it is travel she will advise when I shower, usually the kids showering is a good indication that departure is imminent go with the flow.....

[Dancealot]

Also

Don't arrange your life around her, let her arrange her life around you.

Unexpected planned trips by her .... she tells you the day before ....... you always have prior arrangements that can't be broken.

Never go anyplace where her friends/relatives expect you to pay for everyone.

Arrange stuff without her, on a regular basis,

Friday night boy's night out .... no women.

Tuesday golf all day ...... no women.

It all helps to train her expectations.

Nice! It sounds exactly like my married life in Farangland i once had..

Edited January 27, 2013 by Dancealot

[Dancealot]

I discovered through experience that the scheduling being very flexible is nothing to do with the organisational skills of my wife, but rather the expectation that the other party may arrive at a differing date and time to the initial agreed time. So I let her organise and do not bother asking for a specific time frame, the job in hand always gets done, no problem. If it is travel she will advise when I shower, usually the kids showering is a good indication that departure is imminent go with the flow.....

Spot on!

[Jezz]

Nice! It sounds exactly like my married life in Farangland i once had..

What happened?

[Dancealot]

Nice! It sounds exactly like my married life in Farangland i once had..

What happened?

Thanks for asking. She couldn't cope here with me so she left me.

[Jezz]

Thanks for asking. She couldn't cope here with me so she left me.

OP, Crazy chef 1, Take heed of the 'timely' advice given here! Follow it at your peril.

[jamescollister]

Always remember, many years ago at the old airport in BKK. Wife says she wants something on the other side of immigration control. I say the plane is leaving in 30 minutes, she says they can wait and they did. They were not happy and 3 or 4 PA announcements calling her were put out.

Wonder how any plane gets off the ground here. Jim

Edited January 27, 2013 by jamescollister

[Dancealot]

Always remember, many years ago at the old airport in BKK. Wife says she wants something on the other side of immigration control. I say the plane is leaving in 30 minutes, she says they can wait and they did. They were not happy and 3 or 4 PA announcements calling her were put out.

Wonder how any plane gets off the ground here. Jim

I believe this really happenned. Nice story, Jim

[Jezz]

Another thing to remember in enhancing your relationship is to pay compliments. Our Thai girls are good at - at least mine is - impressing with their ability to cook farang food. Among my favourite farang dishes are Indian-style curry and Mexican chilli con carne. She makes a great job of both. Sometimes I think the flavour of both are much the same. Then just today I caught her preparing a chilli con carne with exactly the same spices and herbs that go into her Indian curry. The only difference being the chilli has minced beef with red kidney beans and lots of tomatoes, when she makes Indian curry it's with lentils, potatoes and either chicken or beef chunks. But I just don't care! It tastes great. I find that after being called to the kitchen to taste the cooking dish, then making an appropriate compliment goes far in stimulating peace and harmony around the house. That's the time to chip in with your own requirements. But be prepared for such requests to fall on stony ground.

[Dancealot]

Another thing to remember in enhancing your relationship is to pay compliments. Our Thai girls are good at - at least mine is - impressing with their ability to cook farang food. Among my favourite farang dishes are Indian-style curry and Mexican chilli con carne. She makes a great job of both. Sometimes I think the flavour of both are much the same. Then just today I caught her preparing a chilli con carne with exactly the same spices and herbs that go into her Indian curry. The only difference being the chilli has minced beef with red kidney beans and lots of tomatoes, when she makes Indian curry it's with lentils, potatoes and either chicken or beef chunks. But I just don't care! It tastes great. I find that after being called to the kitchen to taste the cooking dish, then making an appropriate compliment goes far in stimulating peace and harmony around the house. That's the time to chip in with your own requirements. But be prepared for such requests to fall on stony ground.

Weak and clueless post. If i want my chili con carne cooked MY way i order my GF to make it so and she will listen and oblige.

There is a world of difference between chili con carne and any tumeric indian curry and this has to be respected. Also in everyone's home kitchen.

[jamescollister]

If you want something different to eat, you have to cook it yourself.

On Wednesday I am making a balti meat curry, maybe from northern India or Pakistan, but perfected in Ladypool road Birmingham.

Thais will say it's too hot, even though it's no where near some of their dishes.

All I really need is a few pints of bitter to wash it down with. Jim

[Jezz]

If i want my chili con carne cooked MY way i order my GF to make it so and she will listen and oblige.

But weight that against the more frequently served superb Thai dishes, and I'm more than happy to relish a special version of farang food. If I really crave the proper stuff I'll go to a restaurant. Giving orders on what I want her put in a foreign dish doesn't - in my opinion - serve much purpose. I appreciate her efforts and, like I said, it actually is very good, turmeric or no turmeric.

[Jezz]

On Wednesday I am making a balti meat curry

All I really need is a few pints of bitter to wash it down with. Jim

Mmm! Balti. All roads lead to your place on Wednesday, Jim. I'll try and source some imported bitter for the occasion.

[Crazy chef 1]

So far so good thanks guys.but please tell me more about how you are handling the frustration (and I bet sometimes you are get frustrated ). On the other hand you may want to share some of your own "experiences" about our beloved lady's and her ways how to manage the things.what always surprise me : in the end it is working ! Even in different/ miracoulus way. But please keep it nice( it's the issaan forum,not the usual basher forum) and let's keep the respect to our beloved ones.cheers

[jamescollister]

On Wednesday I am making a balti meat curry

All I really need is a few pints of bitter to wash it down with. Jim

Mmm! Balti. All roads lead to your place on Wednesday, Jim. I'll try and source some imported bitter for the occasion.

All are more than welcome, come anytime. Jim

[cooked]

On Wednesday I am making a balti meat curry

All I really need is a few pints of bitter to wash it down with. Jim

Mmm! Balti. All roads lead to your place on Wednesday, Jim. I'll try and source some imported bitter for the occasion.

I'll be down that road as soon as I can, Jim.

I discovered recently that cooking with ginger or pepper corns instead of chili is a no no, too spicy.

I was invited to a marriage a long way away recently ( I paid for most of it) and found that absolutely no thought had been given to how we were to sleep, how other family members of little fortune were going to get back and sleep (resulting in me taking a 2 hour detour and an extra night in a hotel to pick them up at an exotic and remote bus station) and comforting two tearful ladies plus handling my wife's anger at her son's selfishness until I got them back home. Two large ladies in a small pickup... I now go a step at a time, I may go visit the guys up in Lampang again but no way will I let Thais organise me and my wife when I go somewhere 1000 Km away, that was the last time. Do it yourself, mai pen rai, it's not about being Zen, it's about staying sane.you have to fight to keep your sense of humour intact. The longer I am here the more I am convinced that a sense of humour is the first line of defense. This may involve getting drunk and giggling uncontrollably but I have experience in that field.

[diddums]

Another thing to remember in enhancing your relationship is to pay compliments. Our Thai girls are good at - at least mine is - impressing with their ability to cook farang food. Among my favourite farang dishes are Indian-style curry and Mexican chilli con carne. She makes a great job of both. Sometimes I think the flavour of both are much the same. Then just today I caught her preparing a chilli con carne with exactly the same spices and herbs that go into her Indian curry. The only difference being the chilli has minced beef with red kidney beans and lots of tomatoes, when she makes Indian curry it's with lentils, potatoes and either chicken or beef chunks. But I just don't care! It tastes great. I find that after being called to the kitchen to taste the cooking dish, then making an appropriate compliment goes far in stimulating peace and harmony around the house. That's the time to chip in with your own requirements. But be prepared for such requests to fall on stony ground.

This is very true.

My wife told me the other day that she looked fat, ugly and old....she said she felt in need of a compliment from me to cheer her up.

I told her that her eyesight seemed fine.

[jamescollister]

So far so good thanks guys.but please tell me more about how you are handling the frustration (and I bet sometimes you are get frustrated ). On the other hand you may want to share some of your own "experiences" about our beloved lady's and her ways how to manage the things.what always surprise me : in the end it is working ! Even in different/ miracoulus way. But please keep it nice( it's the issaan forum,not the usual basher forum) and let's keep the respect to our beloved ones.cheers

When I first came, I found a good tree to bang my head against. Over time I realized the only person with a headache was me.

There is food on the table, a roof over your head, the sun will rise tomorrow and Buddha will take care of the rest.

Go with the flow, you are but a leaf in a stream, you can not change where the water goes. Just enjoy the ride. jim

[SantiSuk]

Another thing to remember in enhancing your relationship is to pay compliments. Our Thai girls are good at - at least mine is - impressing with their ability to cook farang food. Among my favourite farang dishes are Indian-style curry and Mexican chilli con carne. She makes a great job of both. Sometimes I think the flavour of both are much the same. Then just today I caught her preparing a chilli con carne with exactly the same spices and herbs that go into her Indian curry. The only difference being the chilli has minced beef with red kidney beans and lots of tomatoes, when she makes Indian curry it's with lentils, potatoes and either chicken or beef chunks. But I just don't care! It tastes great. I find that after being called to the kitchen to taste the cooking dish, then making an appropriate compliment goes far in stimulating peace and harmony around the house. That's the time to chip in with your own requirements. But be prepared for such requests to fall on stony ground.

Weak and clueless post. If I want my chili con carne cooked MY way i order my GF to make it so and she will listen and oblige.

There is a world of difference between chili con carne and any tumeric indian curry and this has to be respected. Also in everyone's home kitchen.

I think I'm beginning to understand why your wife left you

[bergen]

If you want something different to eat, you have to cook it yourself.

On Wednesday I am making a balti meat curry, maybe from northern India or Pakistan, but perfected in Ladypool road Birmingham.

Thais will say it's too hot, even though it's no where near some of their dishes.

All I really need is a few pints of bitter to wash it down with. Jim

At what time do I need to be there with the beer Jim?

Btw, I made a spicy wild boar stew today, and it'll last for a few more days..............