Girlfriend Threatenng To Go To Police And Throw Me Out.

[Colabamumbai]

I am here working with NON B and W.P. have been generously supporting G/f with 12,000 Baht a month plus car repairs and car payments. I found out that she has been having sex with men on the internet and inviting foreigners to come and meet her. Yesterday I was told by one of her precious teachers a foreigner that she was a ladyboy and had an operation 6 years ago. I went and asked a ladyfriend of hers, who confirmed this. She is in everyway a woman, but does not enjoy sex. I confronted her last night. She says she is not a Gatoey and can prove it.

I told her I would leave when she paid me the 35,000 Baht that I just made for her yearly car payment. She is trying to get the money. There has been no physical violence, but a lot of yelling in the past 2 months since I found about her internet affairs. She does help with the paperwork for Non B extensions and W.P. as my school is clueless.

I have just signed a new contract till March 31 2014, but have to take it to Sakhon Nakhon Immigration this week for the extension. She has helped with the paperwork. She is threatening to go to the 2 schools that I work at and the Government Welfare office where I teach the employees here in Sahatsakhan.

I have a Teachers Waiver good for another 1.5 years. So she went and made a police report about if I take her car and she calls them they will arrest me for car theft. Many days when she is not teaching herself, she gives me the car to go to work, as I drive a motorcycle. (As far as I know the police can do nothing, I have done nothing illegal, but it is her home)

How could the Police force me to leave????? ie: if I refuse to pay her money this month. This is extorsion, but this is Thailand.

She is also threatening to go to Kruksapa in BKK.

I do not want to pay her another satang as I have put 70,000 Baht into her car in a year, plus give her 12,000 a month for the past year.

I think it is all threats at this point, because she needs someone to pay her bills as she has 200 Baht in the bank.

And the car is in for repairs again and she has no money to pay for it and I will not.

Any good suggestions/advice and don't tell me to cut my losses and run. I have loved this woman for two years now. and still do, although I may be a fool.

II have no foreign friends here to talk to.

Thanks

[billaaa777]

This is one of the better ones posted on here in the last month or so.

If I read that correctly, you did not know your girlfriend is a LadyBoy.

Could that possibly be correct?

[Norabone]

Sorry to say it but quietly cut and run.

She is going to ruin you mentally and financially.

70K isn't so much money in the grand scheme of things, find a place to rent learn the ins and outs of Thai red tape for yourself and very quickly you will meet someone else.

Keep smiling its not the end of the world, just a new chapter in your book of life, take each day as it comes and before long you will be leading a different life.

The very best of luck

[lomatopo]

Her Thai ID, not her sister's, should correctly identify her gender.

You should not expect to recover any monies paid to date.

As you have not done anything illegal her threats to go to the Police seem to be, dare I say it, d*ck-less.

Separating yourself from this lady may prove ultimately very challenging. You may have to offer a severance package, and consider relocating.

[meatboy]

go now while your still in one piece you havnt lost much put it down to expeirance,if her/him brother comes round it will be more than shouting.

[utalkin2me]

I think you guys live next door to me in my apartment.

[robblok]

Guys paying their gf salaries and then thinking its not about the money. Really come on try to get a gf without paying a salary and see how that goes.

[Thailaw]

"...................

Any good suggestions/advice and don't tell me to cut my losses and run. I have loved this woman for two years now. and still do, although I may be a fool."

Cut your losses and run, quickly...... As to the last part, you are absolutely correct (unless you are a troll, which would be my guess).

[Colabamumbai]

This is one of the better ones posted on here in the last month or so.

If I read that correctly, you did not know your girlfriend is a LadyBoy.

Could that possibly be correct?

You are correct, she says she is not, but many times sounds like a man and gets hormone shots, I have loved/him her for 2 years.

She is yelling and screaming at me now and I have just moved into the adjecent apartment that we have.

She is going to change the locks on her doors but allow me use of the fridge and kitchen when she is home.

I found her passwords under various names and read the most disgusting sexual conversations she was having.

She lost face so at this moment I am moving into the apartment so she can invite some man to come and support her. I have a broken shoulder and cracked pelvis from a recent motorcycle accident, so moving is slow, and she keeps threatening. I replied to some of her men friends that I lived with and supported her and she is ver upset. Thanks

[Colabamumbai]

"...................

Any good suggestions/advice and don't tell me to cut my losses and run. I have loved this woman for two years now. and still do, although I may be a fool."

Cut your losses and run, quickly...... As to the last part, you are absolutely correct (unless you are a troll, which would be my guess).

I am not a troll and a member for over 3 years, If you have followed my posts I was maried to a girl in Korat who sold the wedding ring after a month. There were many posts about that. Why would I waste my time, I have no foreigners in this village to talk to and I am the only foreigner at the schools I teach, so no friends there. The reason I made this post.

[Colabamumbai]

Guys paying their gf salaries and then thinking its not about the money. Really come on try to get a gf without paying a salary and see how that goes.

She is a teacher and earns 20,000 Baht a month herself.

[Colabamumbai]

I think you guys live next door to me in my apartment.

Am in Sahatsakhan/Kalasin, I have other women that would have me tomorrow but I have never had a mia noi and don't think russing into another relationship at the moment is best for me, to be on the rebound so to speak. I have been coming to Thailand since 1976 and living here working legally 3.5 years, Canadian native English speaker.

[Colabamumbai]

Her Thai ID, not her sister's, should correctly identify her gender.

You should not expect to recover any monies paid to date.

As you have not done anything illegal her threats to go to the Police seem to be, dare I say it, d*ck-less.

Separating yourself from this lady may prove ultimately very challenging. You may have to offer a severance package, and consider relocating.

It is a challenge, I should have left 3 months ago when I found out about her internet relationships.

It will not cost me money to leave other than the lastest expenses for her car 35,000 Baht last month and the 12,000 rent I gave her this month. I do not intend to pay a penny more will living in the apartment (close to my school) a year rent free should cover the money she owes me.

[Colabamumbai]

Sorry to say it but quietly cut and run.

She is going to ruin you mentally and financially.

70K isn't so much money in the grand scheme of things, find a place to rent learn the ins and outs of Thai red tape for yourself and very quickly you will meet someone else.

Keep smiling its not the end of the world, just a new chapter in your book of life, take each day as it comes and before long you will be leading a different life.

The very best of luck

Thanks for a most positive response I am not a young man 62 years.

[lomatopo]

Am in Sahatsakhan/Kalasin, I have other women that would have me tomorrow but I have never had a mia noi and don't think russing into another relationship at the moment is best for me, to be on the rebound so to speak. I have been coming to Thailand since 1976 and living here working legally 3.5 years, Canadian native English speaker.

Why is this in the Bangkok sub-forum?

I hope you don't teach Biology.

A classic thread: http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/395016-wife-of-6-weeks-wants-divorce/?view=findpost&p=3859001&hl=%2Bgirl

I couldn't find the one where your GF wrote a letter disparaging you by name in a Thai magazine.

unless you are a troll, which would be my guess

The OP either seems to have incredibly bad luck re: local paramours or is indeed troll-like?

[Nisa]

What kind of advice do you want? You say you are with somebody who doesn't want to be with you anymore. All the rest is irrelevant. Get out as you have no right to control another person or force yourself on them. If you have problems moving then be nice as possible and beg for her/his help and understanding but if you don't get it then you need to move on.

Don't matter how nice you were or how much you think she owes you because you chose to pay her bills nor does it matter if she cheats or is really a man ... She/he want the relationship over and unless she changers her mind you need to respect this..

[DLock]

What kind of advice do you want? You say you are with somebody who doesn't want to be with you anymore. All the rest is irrelevant. Get out as you have no right to control another person or force yourself on them. If you have problems moving then be nice as possible and beg for her/his help and understanding but if you don't get it then you need to move on.

Don't matter how nice you were or how much you think she owes you because you chose to pay her bills nor does it matter if she cheats or is really a man ... She/he want the relationship over and unless she changers her mind you need to respect this..

...actually, it does matter if she is really a man.

The rest. I agree.

OP, I recommend you leave Thailand. You do not have the necessary skills required to survive here.

[robblok]

Guys paying their gf salaries and then thinking its not about the money. Really come on try to get a gf without paying a salary and see how that goes.

She is a teacher and earns 20,000 Baht a month herself.

Why pay her a salary ? She makes her own money. I am really confused here. Are you troll (looks wise) cant get a girl without paying ? Is she a real looker normally out of your league ?

[lomatopo]

An STD work-up might also be advisable.

[Colabamumbai]

What kind of advice do you want? You say you are with somebody who doesn't want to be with you anymore. All the rest is irrelevant. Get out as you have no right to control another person or force yourself on them. If you have problems moving then be nice as possible and beg for her/his help and understanding but if you don't get it then you need to move on.

Don't matter how nice you were or how much you think she owes you because you chose to pay her bills nor does it matter if she cheats or is really a man ... She/he want the relationship over and unless she changers her mind you need to respect this..

...actually, it does matter if she is really a man.

The rest. I agree.

OP, I recommend you leave Thailand. You do not have the necessary skills required to survive here.

After ten years in India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Laos, Malaysia, Thailand and 6 years in Mexico I think I probably have a few more skills than you.

[Nisa]

What kind of advice do you want? You say you are with somebody who doesn't want to be with you anymore. All the rest is irrelevant. Get out as you have no right to control another person or force yourself on them. If you have problems moving then be nice as possible and beg for her/his help and understanding but if you don't get it then you need to move on.

Don't matter how nice you were or how much you think she owes you because you chose to pay her bills nor does it matter if she cheats or is really a man ... She/he want the relationship over and unless she changers her mind you need to respect this..

...actually, it does matter if she is really a man.

The rest. I agree.

OP, I recommend you leave Thailand. You do not have the necessary skills required to survive here.

After ten years in India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Laos, Malaysia, Thailand and 6 years in Mexico I think I probably have a few more skills than you.

But you are missing the basic concept that you cannot control another person. All the money you gave has nothing to do with anything unless you both agreed you were making payments for her to allow you to stay there. If you want something back when you give a gift or help somebody out then you should make this clear up front and make sure the person is willing to accept the terms of your gift.

As for her possibly being a man that is also meaningless as you are only using it as a way to paint her in a bad light. Clearly you could care less if she used to be a man and if you did then you would not be trying to stay with her and you'd be packed up and moved and long gone despite all your excuses.

If you gave money to be a good person and help somebody you care about then know you did this and move on. If you gave money thinking it gave you the right to control somebody in a relationship then live and learn and understand you'll never have a healthy relationship this way. Either way. time for you to move on if she doesn't want you around anymore.

[wooloomooloo]

I don't think you are trolling, Colabamumbai, but finding it hard to understand what answer you want to hear.

The majority of advice here sounds sensible to me. Whether your girlfriend is a man or lady appears to matter little now.

As earlier stated, how about a clean break and move away, a small settlement to tide her over, forget about the car - you will come worse off and can hardly break clean with the theft of a car. It isn't your car unless it's in your name.

Good luck, anyway.

[meatboy]

been coming to thailand since 1976 and dont know the difference between a man and a woman and not forgeting what you said it sounds like a man,been to all them countries and you are a teacher there is a job for you with your experiance its at the social services its called RELATE.

[cardholder]

I dont think your are looking fo advice, rather seeking somewhere/someone to share your story. As you say, with no friends in the area you have no shoulder to cry on or sounding board to voice your concerns.

You understand exactly where you stand and what you need to do - move on.

I doubt you are troll, I rember your Korat story very well. However, you do seem to get yourself into some pickles and whether you are "skilled" or not to live in Thailand, a few months quiet reflection might be in order.

[hagler]

go.

now.

As in today.

Move away as far as you can based on the restrictions placed upon you by being able to get to work everyday. Make it clear in a written communication to him/her/it that you don't think it is a good idea for the two of you to see or speak to each other for the next 30 days. Get a new sim for you phone but keep you old one. At the end of the 30 days if you feel you need to make contact then you can and by that time he/she/it may be a tad more rational.

Write off whatever you have contributed in a monetary form as a downpayment on the fact that you will live to see 72 if you get out of this thing alive.

Then move on.

[phuturatica]

If you cannot trust her... The relationship is doomed. I'm sorry to say.

I think you have already answered yourself. You are a fool for letting yourself be extorted this much. Learn from this mistake and move forward.

[FritsSikkink]

Her Thai ID, not her sister's, should correctly identify her gender.

You should not expect to recover any monies paid to date.

As you have not done anything illegal her threats to go to the Police seem to be, dare I say it, d*ck-less.

Separating yourself from this lady may prove ultimately very challenging. You may have to offer a severance package, and consider relocating.

It is a challenge, I should have left 3 months ago when I found out about her internet relationships.

It will not cost me money to leave other than the lastest expenses for her car 35,000 Baht last month and the 12,000 rent I gave her this month. I do not intend to pay a penny more will living in the apartment (close to my school) a year rent free should cover the money she owes me.

You gave her the money, now you are pissed off (with a good reason) but she owes you nothing.

Move to an other apartment and forget about this relation.

[tw25rw]

Get out, cut her off. Never see her again. Be happy you learnt a lesson with body and most of your finances intact.

[TommoPhysicist]

Leave her.

Leave her car.

Leave her apartment.

Next time you get a gf, look at her ID card to see what sex she/he is.

Ladyboys have to appear dressed as a man without makeup for their ID card photo, and it also states their sex on the card.

PS

Thanks for the post, I laughed even more than the 'Respect' thread. Some guys are just born victims.

PPS

Not sure if your gf is a boy or a girl ....... yours really is different!

[mrtoad]

This really should be in General Topics, where it will get far more views and comments.

I'm in agreement with one of the other posters, that maybe Thailand's not the place for you, you seem to attract misfortune . I have to say though, this is one of the more far out stories that I have heard, and clearly not a Troll. Congrats on the best thread of the year so far.