My wife and I have the secret to

making a marriage last.

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant,

have a little wine, some good food and companionship.

She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in

Europe and mine Bangkok.

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps

finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our

anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long

time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster,

and electric bread maker. Then she said, "There are

too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I

bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well

because there was water in the carburetor. I asked

where the car was, she told me, "In the lake."

8. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas.

She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!

9. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.

Then the mud fell off.

10. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling,

"Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said,

"No, jump in!"

10. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling,

"Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said,

"No, jump in!"

The old 'uns are the best - this was from the lyrics of Lonnie Donegan's hit '50s song "Does Your Chewing Gum Lose It's Flavour", it was probably already old then!