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Posted

Its called principle mate and a spine.

To add you could change it too how can you sell it to your family back home.

So both parties have to adapt.

Maybe you learn when you live here full time.

Principle......right.....so the western notion of "love forever" is not part of this equation.....it is not the money....."principle" is the stumbling block for the man who will not pay a little back pocket money to marry his true love......how sad.....for ever wandering....... married to a "principle".......but at least you have "spine"

.

You can't just expect someone to give up his or her culture totally, it just does not happen. So when 2 people of different cultures meet and fall in love / want a relation both will have to adapt. This concept of sin sod goes against how people in the west are raised where often that the family of the bride has to pay. Here its the opposite.. So in the middle would mean no sin sod.

If you were to take your wife back home would you expect her to turn instantly into a western girl.. id say no. Same she wants you because you are you and that is a foreigner she cant expect you to be Thai why pretend to be one. If she wanted sin sod then her best chance would be a Thai.

But Thai ladies do adapt, they are just a little more practical, why not look at sinsod as redressing the balance for the western ideology of buying an engagenent ring (which is unlikely to be returned in the west if there is no marriage) your principle is looking more and more like a stance to justlfy selfish self centered actions under the guise of "western culture"......I think some guys are frightened they may loose out financially......fear of failure...not "principle" appears to be the underlying cause of refusal to pay sinsod

And then theres some of us that find a girl that never even mention

sinsod, get married but damn well have a prenuptial agreement. Its

called reality and common sense. Why risk losing what you've

worked hard for for many years if not decades, to a Thai girl or to any

girl for that matter. The bride should have a prenup as well especially

if she has assets.

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Posted

When I got married to my Thai wife we agreed to exchange and do a way with a Thai 'tradition' each - so she did not need a sinsod and I did not need a mia noi

Good One:)

  • Like 1
Posted

Spoiled goods past their sell by ate come at a discount. 20 baht too much. Screw her and her family and after that go find a good girl and family to marry into. Good luck

Posted

Sinsod, biggest joke and ripoff in Thailand, LOS (Land of Scams). Sinsod may have been the norm in ancient but we all know that if she truly loves you it would not be about the money. I was too a victim of the SS (Sinsod Scam) but have survived and moved on thanks to a divorce. Drop her like it's hot and run like hell is the best advice I can give you.

Or in the immortal words of comedian Jim Davidson:

"I'm not going to get married again - I'm just going to find a woman I don't like and buy her a house"

  • Like 2
Posted

I think the OP already has his answer; a 34 year old Thai lady who is an ex of a 76 year old farang who has already kickstarted her entire business for her and her family want even more dowry than the last idiot paid. Run and don't you dare look back.

Yes, Thai men pay a dowry, but do you think that any of them would pay a million for a 34 year old who's been well driven by who knows how many expats? I've been to a couple of "divorce meetings" where the family's agree on the parting terms and both times the husbands got their sinsot back (and both of them were complete cheating a-holes too), did her expat bf get her 800k sinsot back? If not then why are you being asked to pay her sinsot again? To put it in real terms you are being asked to pay 20 years worth of salary of twice a year good rice crops for an uneducated, old, well used lady. Harsh but true I'm afraid.

I don't know anything about the OP but I am sure he can do better.

Its not all that bad as far as being driven, as a farmer dont forget those are 'country miles' as opposed to 'city miles' a bit harsher on the chassis and suspension.

  • Like 1
Posted

Sinsod?? I have never payed any sinsod and also tell that in our culture the womans parent /family pay sinsod ,so if she want to live with me in my country so..........thats it.

If i should live and work in Thailand maby i could accept the rules of and old culture. But today the modern Thailand not used moore that they "pay" the money back after wedding and so can u do to.

However if its a poore family you certanly help her parent/family because you take away her from her support of the elder.

This is ofcourse now your responsebility.

I help my family as much i can afford .......and my wife send money when we have payed our bils and so in our country.

BUT if they are poor u could put money anyway and think like this. If u should have a marriage wherever u live (ur homecountry) it will proberly cost about lets say 10000 US dollar and moore.

So if u have wedding i Thailand it cost a lot less and u also get "gift" from all people who u invite ,if she have friends who make good money = bigger gift.

But i think u get so much gift so it pay of all weddingcost and then u can afford to give ur mother/father in law money.

easy huh?

And i tell u.....I have the most wondferfull family in Thailand and we have being maried for allmost 7 years now ...

we love eachoter but we still have ythe common problem all thai/farang have........i dont tell u......u should learn u selft. :)

good luck with ur Thaimarriage............

I hope u are the good husband and respect ur wife.......and u probely get a good life togheter ,dont forget u dont own her but she is urs if u are a good man.

(im not talking of golddiggers u can if u are unlucky meet one of those,use ur common sence )

Posted

Sin Sod is to be negotiated on, instead you apparently felt the need to insult her mother with an offer of 20 baht. No wonder your relation broke up.

You could have explained that in your culture sin sod is not done and you are not comfortable with it and start from there.

Sorry Mario, explainations don't work in Thailand as Thai's don't believe anything that happens outside of Thailand means anything. It's Thailands way or the highway. I tried once to explain that in the US, the daughters father paid for all the wedding and there wasn't such a thing as Sin Sod. They thought I was full of shit and was making all this up. Needless to say, my relationship didn't last long either. biggrin.png

You can't blame Mario for your inept sales technique smile.png

  • Like 1
Posted

I paid 1m Baht sinsod after offering and agreeing that figure with my future wife's father during a holiday before we returned to do the ceremonial marriage. We lived outside Thailand at the time.

I brought in USD (30k at the time), did not change it to Baht, but everyone was told during the ceremony, the 30k on the plate was 1m Baht.

Dad gave it back to me after the ceremony, I took it back out of LOS and re-deposited in my bank. They said they were already old, didn't need it, and better we kept it to make our life together. I thought that was pretty reasonable.

It was just for show in front of the village folk, friends and family.

Dad hefted the silk cloth in which the 30k was wrapped, made a grunting sound when he did to let everyone know his daughter commanded a hefty sum, the old boy would of really been struggling had I converted to Baht, but it served the purpose.

It was a great day I'll never forget. Although I despise functions, especially anything religious, I actually enjoyed myself and, from time to time, watch the video.

  • Like 1
Posted

Look, this is the internet age, and word-of-mouth spreads rapidly. They know foreigners have some money, and they want money. they want money more than love, or anything else. good looks? who cares, that doesn't buy a house. in-shape, smart? well, then you should be smart enough to have money.

so many people tell me thais are not that smart. these are the same guys who gave away all their life savings, and got kicked out of the house they bought. she gets it all.

sounds smart to me.

i would get married 10 times, save like 10 million baht, then marry for "love". LOL.

  • Like 2
Posted

It would be interesting to know how much the last guy got fleeced for? Obviously we all can't buy them a resort!

he paid 800,000 baht for sinsod.

That explains it! A changing of the guard and Mum thinks it's payday again! Obviously inflation has crept into it as well.

How about a decrease in the price since she is older and has otherwise been well used by the previous boyfriend? And Mum has already been paid for her contribution anyway.... You have been asked to pay new car prices for an older model.

If your girl was so shallow as to break up with you over this then you should consider yourself very lucky.

To describe a woman as "well-used", and an "old car" and then go on, in the very next sentence to accuse *her* of being shallow if she rejects a man over money is the height of irony.

T

The analogy to an old car and well used may be harsh, but none the less is the bottom line. It could have been phrased more diplomatically I must admit. I don't thing she is shallow, just upset that her plan did not work.

Posted

602178_516982231677471_1854450098_n.jpg

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=516982231677471&set=a.197077023667995.42100.196365190405845&type=1&theater

— mitOkgettutor Chadum.

Swiss - Paid 10 Million Baht Sin Sod for Ladyboy ! tongue.png

""Reese's BS BS BS! Burning lashes already! Rejoice with me!
Girl, Uptown Girl: D Good luck! Young Swiss companion would become engaged.
Huff worth over 10 million dowry before marriage Fly to the man's house.
Journalists reported that at Ban Kaeng Sawan district. The engagement ceremony is great. Young people between Switzerland and ladyboys. The ceremony was held in Nakhon Sawan province by a hearty and Thailand among adults of both relative and went to work a lot.
Chris Stauffer ASUS Super Mario BAC Swiss citizens aged 64 years. Cash and carry dowry and jewels. Worth over 10 million Baht, to get Mr. Silapacharanan pulsar Gul's 32-year old ladyboys after they kept me for over two years and decided to get engaged.
Mr. Silapacharanan brides that have known and met with Mr. Kristol's by chance, the two fall in love with each other almost immediately when I kept in mind, it was found that the habits and lifestyle are very similar. And after watching that foster love, which in the eyes of an adult at all times and the man decided to get engaged in the end.
After the engagement ceremony in Thailand. The two fly to Switzerland and married in his hometown of the man again, and intend to continue to live together as a family.
However, dowry issues of engagement, this time becoming the relatives and villagers to do.
Due to the value of 10 million includes luxury accommodations in Pattaya necklace gold jewelry.
And a number of cash.
Source: sanook.""
Translation with Google Translate, so not 100 % wink.png Thanks.
Sin Sod has to my knowledge also to do with the circumstances regarding,
what kind of family, status, what is the woman worth - age, children, previous connections. How much can the BF afford? Ect.
I read in Bangkok Sin Sod, can run in the Millions, in the right wealthy families.
But usually a smaller 6 Figure sum should be ok.
Or less if the family and/or the BF is very poor!
I, myself have Thai Family connections with two women family, children with both, but did never marry and was never bothered to marry. Sin Sod question, came never up so. wink.png
Posted

I have Thai wife from roiet and we Are very happy with 2 sons in USA. I was very generous with her family. I have many friends in USA with Thai wives. They were all very generous too. Not good you go back on your word. If hardship on you they probably would understand if you give less. But it sound more like you not understand thai wedding culture and not want to give anything and you not explain to her family.

Sent from my DROID RAZR HD using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Posted

tezzainoz said (a few pages back)

"Sinsod is different for ever girl

It depends on her looks, her age, how much her parents have invested in her eductation, and the income you are about to take away from the family

A virgin girl will double the sinsod, but thankfully farlang do not meet many of these

A previous marriage or children will be a minus for the sinsod."

I'd say that if you're paying for looks and age, you are involving yourself in prostitution, paying for sex where age and looks bring a higher price!!

My understanding of sin sod is that originally, in an agrarian society, it compensated the parents for taking their daughter out of the farm work force and they had to hire help for a few years to cover the loss of their worker.

Based on that, and the current 300 baht a day minimum wage push, you could pay $10 a day, 6 days a week, 50 weeks a year (2 weeks holidays??) for 3 years, and expect to pay $9000.00. It's unlikely that many farm workers are paid $50.00 a week though, so the 'price' would/should be somewhat less..

How that fits into a modern society where a daughter in the city work force, and doesn't till the fields, is beyond my powers of deduction, but I'll give it some thought, and maybe with some lateral and creative thinking, come up with a satisfactory explanation.

The most likely explanation is that it's a con by the parents at best, and prostitution of their daughter at worst.

  • Like 1
Posted

Sin Sod is to be negotiated on, instead you apparently felt the need to insult her mother with an offer of 20 baht. No wonder your relation broke up.

You could have explained that in your culture sin sod is not done and you are not comfortable with it and start from there.

>Need to know more information.

Roi Et is a very poor area. If the mother is a rice-farmer, then the 1 million baht + 10 baht of gold is an insult.

What does your gf work as? What's her education? This is important.

I've even heard of guys being asked for 500,000 baht when the girl in question is divorced, 35 years old with kids! This is a blatant insult and the reply offer of 20 baht is not less insu

lting.

she runs a small resort of 4 bungalows in koh lanta, her education she left school early to take care of her sisters children, however she is now studying law, she is 34 with no children, I am 41 with 2 children. Her ex-boyfriend is 76 he funded the resort. Mother is a rice farmer.

This says it all run like hell and do not look backcheesy.gif

I used to live in a village ( Na Jan) where mothers would marry their girls often,, i asked my girl for more information, she told me of a lady who would ride by on her bike past our place and during some festivals a new pick up would drive past our place with a new falang going to the market and bringing back food,, i asked my girl about this, it seems this lady about 35 yrs had been married many times and asked for a large sinsot amount and this is how she is getting rich and it does'nt take long for the rest of the land of smiles to catch up on the idea, so it seems to me that many mothers are doing this as a business and after the money has run out then it's goodbye to the husband and then look for a new one and start again,, it's sad to think like this but if the falang wants a beautiful young girl then they have to pay, until the money runs out which it often does,,, been there, done it, bought the t-shirt, now my girl has re married and i'm out of there, lost some money but i have my sanity. good luck to every successful relationship, i wish you well.

Posted

<snip> Just wonder how an indian vs thai wedding would be.

.

.

Finally! *Somebody* gets around to asking about *my* wedding! Seriously, how many pages of a ho-hum thread does a guy have to plow through before somebody pops the question?

Mrs T and I had three separate weddings Thai, Indian and Chinese in that order, (I know you didn't ask about Chinese, robblok - consider it a bonus), in two different countries. At each of the weddings, the money from invited guests that we received in envelopes more than paid for the wedding expenses. Money wise, we came out quite nicely ahead. We thought of holding a fourth wedding, but ran out of ethnicities in our combined bloodline.

How we met and married is a lark in itself, but I won't get into that.

She and I had never discussed the matter of Sin Sod. It hadn't been discussed in her family either. On the day of our Thai wedding, as ceremonies were less than an hour away, a minor bombshell drops when one of the invited guests, out of the blue, mentions Sin Sod. MIL looks embarrassed. The soon-to-be Mrs. T says we have to do something. Now, I wasn't well-off; I'd just quit my job some years earlier to start my own business, and it was floundering. All I had on me was $1,000. I rush to convert that to baht (25k baht at the time. Yes, it was that long ago). I learn years later that Mrs. T meanwhile went to her bank and withdrew a much bigger pile of her own money to add to the sin sod we gave her mom. Later the mom offered to return it. I said, Nah, keep it; buy yourself something nice. I didn't realize I was giving away Mrs. T's money as well.

It was the first (and, so far, only) marriage for either of us. Was she a virgin? I'm not allowed to say. However on our wedding night, when we retired to our luxurious hotel bridal suite (a gift from one of the well-wishers), Mrs. T was disappointed (no, not in that way); she had expected me to be a virgin and now sternly demanded that I explain myself!

T

Actually that was not what i was refering too, as far as i know in India the girl has to pay and in Thailand its the other way around. So just wondered about that. Anyway good story.

Posted

Afterwards my girl friends mother ignored me, now me and my girl

friend are broken up, apparently because of the fact that I offered my

girl friend 20 baht to give the mother for the sinsod :-)

Excellent!!

Keep your money and run before is too late.

Here you marry a whole family and they stop for nothing and nobody before you're "clean".

Have 'on the job" experience.

  • Like 1
Posted

Don't be cheap charlie, give an additional million or two just for the measure.

And while you're at it, give me a million too :)

Posted

I had been married to a Thai for 8 Years before i heard about Sin Sod. It came via a Ferang who asked me what it was .A long time ago i must admit. Some Thai Families dont ask Ferangs unless they are poor, ive missed it anyway, but if i was asked id tell em to F...........coffee1.gif

  • Like 1
Posted

This thread is hilarious.

My GF and I were discussing the topic a few weeks ago. BTW, no plans for marriage at this point. Anyway she said if we were to get married then I would need to pay a sinsod to her parents. I said I was aware of the custom. She said it would be 30,000 B. She's a sweetie, never married, no children, very nice looking and not a BG. I almost proposed on the spot.

she probably ment ... per month :)

  • Like 1
Posted

she runs a small resort of 4 bungalows in koh lanta....... Her ex-boyfriend is 76 he funded the resort......

It would be interesting to know how much the last guy got fleeced for? Obviously we all can't buy them a resort!

he paid 800,000 baht for sinsod.

But yet was still only her boyfriend ?

Listen to Kanye man.

Posted

Scientists have found a compound that once eaten lowers the libido of the female to nothing. It's called wedding cake. coffee1.gif

After reading through this sad thread, IMHO many men here should/will never marry in Thailand. They'll just stay on that same bar stool, have another beer, maybe give that new bargirl a go and continue to wallow in their misery. Son nom na.

Posted

To the OP: I don't have an opinion about paying sin sod or not, it is a cultural difference that you have to deal with together as you have to respect their culture but they should also respect your own culture.

But offering 20 baht was a bit tactless, even if it was only to the GF.

Mario, I respect what you are saying, but I have yet to see the Thais respect a foreigner's culture. They say this is Thailand and that's the end of it. In my personal situation I feel like I do all the respecting.

Plenty of Thais respect foreigners culture it just happens to be mostly higher educated wealthier ones.

  • Like 1
Posted

Its called principle mate and a spine.

To add you could change it too how can you sell it to your family back home.

So both parties have to adapt.

Maybe you learn when you live here full time.

Principle......right.....so the western notion of "love forever" is not part of this equation.....it is not the money....."principle" is the stumbling block for the man who will not pay a little back pocket money to marry his true love......how sad.....for ever wandering....... married to a "principle".......but at least you have "spine"

.

You can't just expect someone to give up his or her culture totally, it just does not happen. So when 2 people of different cultures meet and fall in love / want a relation both will have to adapt. This concept of sin sod goes against how people in the west are raised where often that the family of the bride has to pay. Here its the opposite.. So in the middle would mean no sin sod.

If you were to take your wife back home would you expect her to turn instantly into a western girl.. id say no. Same she wants you because you are you and that is a foreigner she cant expect you to be Thai why pretend to be one. If she wanted sin sod then her best chance would be a Thai.

But Thai ladies do adapt, they are just a little more practical, why not look at sinsod as redressing the balance for the western ideology of buying an engagenent ring (which is unlikely to be returned in the west if there is no marriage) your principle is looking more and more like a stance to justlfy selfish self centered actions under the guise of "western culture"......I think some guys are frightened they may loose out financially......fear of failure...not "principle" appears to be the underlying cause of refusal to pay sinsod

Some could argue it is "Fear of failure" to get laid or ever get a woman that motivates some to pay Sinsod

  • Like 2
Posted

To the OP: I don't have an opinion about paying sin sod or not, it is a cultural difference that you have to deal with together as you have to respect their culture but they should also respect your own culture.

But offering 20 baht was a bit tactless, even if it was only to the GF.

Mario, I respect what you are saying, but I have yet to see the Thais respect a foreigner's culture. They say this is Thailand and that's the end of it. In my personal situation I feel like I do all the respecting.

Plenty of Thais respect foreigners culture it just happens to be mostly higher educated wealthier ones.

I agree with your "the wealthier ones" statement but they respect the money not the culture. They could care less about or ignore your education because they don't want you superior to them.

Posted

Some could argue it is "Fear of failure" to get laid or ever get a woman that motivates some to pay Sinsod

Fear of failure to get laid in Thailand......cheesy.gif

  • Like 2
Posted

To the OP: I don't have an opinion about paying sin sod or not, it is a cultural difference that you have to deal with together as you have to respect their culture but they should also respect your own culture.

But offering 20 baht was a bit tactless, even if it was only to the GF.

Mario, I respect what you are saying, but I have yet to see the Thais respect a foreigner's culture. They say this is Thailand and that's the end of it. In my personal situation I feel like I do all the respecting.

Plenty of Thais respect foreigners culture it just happens to be mostly higher educated wealthier ones.

I agree with your "the wealthier ones" statement but they respect the money not the culture. They could care less about or ignore your education because they don't want you superior to them.

Not in my experience.

  • Like 2

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