Living With A Bar Girl In Pattaya

[William Osborne]

On a closer look, the lifestyle of the OP isn't such an extraordinary behaviour. Hundreds if not thousands of Thai men in Pattaya live exactly the same way.

.. OP is a 50 yo farang International School teacher so slightly different ??... also, he's got a 2 yo truck which is most likely bought on finance through his GF ... most thai men would limit themselves to a Honda Wave under those circumstances

[detinu68]

...... why don't you ask her ...." honey, do you think it would be a good idea to sell my house in UK so you don't have to work bar every night in Soi 7"...... just a suggestion like

Naah.

I'm much to young.

And my house is an investment that's rising in value every year.

[detinu68]

On a closer look, the lifestyle of the OP isn't such an extraordinary behaviour. Hundreds if not thousands of Thai men in Pattaya live exactly the same way.

You can recognize them as it are the ones that are always at the snooker tables.

Good to integrate into local society, isn't it?

Incidentally. I don't play snooker or pool.

[detinu68]

On a closer look, the lifestyle of the OP isn't such an extraordinary behaviour. Hundreds if not thousands of Thai men in Pattaya live exactly the same way.

.. OP is a 50 yo farang International School teacher so slightly different ??... also, he's got a 2 yo truck which is most likely bought on finance through his GF ... most thai men would limit themselves to a Honda Wave under those circumstances

Toyota Hilux paid for in cash. A great motor I must say.

[tropo]

On a closer look, the lifestyle of the OP isn't such an extraordinary behaviour. Hundreds if not thousands of Thai men in Pattaya live exactly the same way.

You can recognize them as it are the ones that are always at the snooker tables.

Sure, it's a very normal living situation for Thai men in Pattaya. A huge percentage of "working girls" (note to Mightly Mouse - the bargirls who do the business) would have steady Thai boyfriends or husbands. A lot of these relationships would have started before the girl started to work and they were in desperate financial need. Many of course would have started after the girl was already active in this business and the Thai men were looking for free money - but the girls started these relationships for real love (or lust), not necessity.

No offense to the OP as many of us are old and over the hill, but I doubt his lady sticks with him for lust or love. He's a backup just incase something better doesn't come along as she's starting to feel old at 33. He's an insurance policy for a smart girl.

I still stand by my theory that it is unusual for foreigners to live with active working girls.

Certainly he's the only one who is game to advertise it on this public forum.

Edited April 20, 2013 by tropo

[detinu68]

My goodness me!

8,810 views on this thread so far. And hundreds of interesting replies.

Amazing.

And I'm not sure why it's so fascinating to people...please let me know why.

Thanks for your interest and I'll keep on replying to your posts.

In the meantime, my partner's working and I'm at home, surfing the internet, watching BBC World over my shoulder and looking after our kitten.

Cheers.

Edited April 20, 2013 by detinu68

[tropo]

My goodness me!

8,810 views on this thread so far. And hundreds of interesting replies.

Amazing.

And I'm not sure why it's so fascinating to people...please let me no why.

Thanks for your interest and I'll keep on replying to your posts.

In the meantime, my partner's working and I'm at home, surfing the internet, watching BBC World over my shoulder and looking after our kitten.

Cheers.

You're keeping it going by replying to most posts and defending yourself so often. Give yourself a big pat on the back. Not too many threads go this viral.

[detinu68]

On a closer look, the lifestyle of the OP isn't such an extraordinary behaviour. Hundreds if not thousands of Thai men in Pattaya live exactly the same way.

You can recognize them as it are the ones that are always at the snooker tables.

Sure, it's a very normal living situation for Thai men in Pattaya. A huge percentage of "working girls" (note to Mightly Mouse - the bargirls who do the business) would have steady Thai boyfriends or husbands. A lot of these relationships would have started before the girl started to work and they were in desperate financial need. Many of course would have started after the girl was already active in this business and the Thai men were looking for free money - but the girls started these relationships for real love (or lust), not necessity.

No offense to the OP as many of us are old and over the hill, but I doubt his lady sticks with him for lust or love. He's a backup just incase something better doesn't come along as she's starting to feel old at 33. He's an insurance policy for a smart girl.

I still stand by my theory that it is unusual for foreigners to live with active working girls.

Certainly he's the only one who is game to advertise it on this public forum.

I agree it's unusual for foreigners to live with working bargirls.

And you're absolutely right to think she's a smart girl.

She knows I'm working and that I'll get a good pension eventually.

AND she knows I don't judge her for taking care of her family in any which way she can.

We're very happy together. I sincerely hope we will be long into the future.

[William Osborne]

... So you like have a cutoff point for when you GF gets back.... must be bit of worry waiting all night for someone to get back from Soi 7 to East Pattaya..... then again, why worry ? you're happy... living a great lifestyle

[detinu68]

... So you like have a cutoff point for when you GF gets back.... must be bit of worry waiting all night for someone to get back from Soi 7 to East Pattaya..... then again, why worry ? you're happy... living a great lifestyle

I doubt very much that anyone's waiting for you

That's the difference between you and I

[William Osborne]

... errr... my wife is about 3 feet away from me playing on the internet with her phone ??... seriously, if you think sitting in the house pipping about on the internet while your GF is out shagging other dudes is normal... you have a skewed perceptive on life ?? .

Edited April 20, 2013 by William Osborne

[FDog]

... errr... my wife is about 3 feet away from me playing on the internet with her phone ??... seriously, if you think sitting in the house pipping about on the internet while your GF is out shagging other dudes is normal... you have a skewed perceptive on life ?? .

I don't think the OP thinks it is normal, hence why he posted asking if anyone else is in the same boat.

But he is happy. Who are you to judge what should make people happy?

[tropo]

... errr... my wife is about 3 feet away from me playing on the internet with her phone ??... seriously, if you think sitting in the house pipping about on the internet while your GF is out shagging other dudes is normal... you have a skewed perceptive on life ?? .

I don't think the OP thinks it is normal, hence why he posted asking if anyone else is in the same boat.

But he is happy. Who are you to judge what should make people happy?

I agree with your sentiments in principle, but regarding that over used cliche.....

Some people enjoy raping, molesting, killing, torturing or even eating people. There is a limit on what is acceptable and there are laws to judge them.

... but yes, the OP's relationship seems basically harmless. Let's hope he doesn't someday join the ranks of the many elderly "jumpers" in Pattaya.

Many of the dissenters on here are not judging so much as trying to offer helpful advice - they care.

Edited April 20, 2013 by tropo

[tropo]

... errr... my wife is about 3 feet away from me playing on the internet with her phone ??... seriously, if you think sitting in the house pipping about on the internet while your GF is out shagging other dudes is normal... you have a skewed perceptive on life ?? .

That really puts things into perspective,... "my girlfriend is shagging one of her customers - she'll be along shortly".

If she arrives home too late, what to think? She's fallen in love with another or she's in some kind of trouble/danger. It could be a very distressing having to worry like this over someone you love.

I know it has upset a few punters on here, but when I use the word "prostitute" instead of "bargirl", I'm actually trying to help punters keep things real. It can help put things into perspective for some people, especially when these people start falling in love with these girls. Pretending that they're not prostitutes is not a good idea. Always go in with the eyes open.

On most whoremonger forums the general consensus is that marrying or dating a bargirl is a very bad idea and is universally shunned by most experienced punters. On this forum I suspect that many have already married or started serious relationships with bargirls, therefore they don't like to hear such advice.

I understand their sentiments too. Their girls are different.

Edited April 20, 2013 by tropo

[detinu68]

... errr... my wife is about 3 feet away from me playing on the internet with her phone ??... seriously, if you think sitting in the house pipping about on the internet while your GF is out shagging other dudes is normal... you have a skewed perceptive on life ?? .

Was she a virgin when she met you?

No way!

Has she been faithful to you after you first had sex with her?

YOU DON'T KNOW

Of course it doesn't really matter at the end of the day.

You're stuck in your ways

Edited April 20, 2013 by detinu68

[detinu68]

... errr... my wife is about 3 feet away from me playing on the internet with her phone ??... seriously, if you think sitting in the house pipping about on the internet while your GF is out shagging other dudes is normal... you have a skewed perceptive on life ?? .

That really puts things into perspective,... "my girlfriend is shagging one of her customers - she'll be along shortly".

If she arrives home too late, what to think? She's fallen in love with another or she's in some kind of trouble/danger. It could be a very distressing having to worry like this over someone you love.

I know it has upset a few punters on here, but when I use the word "prostitute" instead of "bargirl", I'm actually trying to help punters keep things real. It can help put things into perspective for some people, especially when these people start falling in love with these girls. Pretending that they're not prostitutes is not a good idea. Always go in with the eyes open.

On most whoremonger forums the general consensus is that marrying or dating a bargirl is a very bad idea and is universally shunned by most experienced punters. On this forum I suspect that many have already married or started serious relationships with bargirls, therefore they don't like to hear such advice.

I understand their sentiments too. Their girls are different.

What's the problem with loving a prostitute or bargirl?

We're all flesh and blood and the love I get in return from my partner is better than I ever experienced in Europe.

Far better.

[tropo]

What's the problem with loving a prostitute or bargirl?

Most of the "problems" have been covered on this lonnnnnnnnnnng thread.

As long as these "problems" don't concern you, then there's no problem.

To be honest, it could considered quite arrogant that she won't find someone she prefers - sooner or later. At 20 working days per month she's going to have a lot of options. Maybe she'll find someone she's actually attracted to, rather than a father figure.

For example, if I sent my wife out to work I shouldn't be surprised if she eventually moved on - it's a numbers game. Just that fact that you're not concerned is almost a guarantee that she's not going to feel bad about giving you the boot. It works both ways.

If living with an active prostitute is better than any relationship you've had in Europe, then you've had a very bad run. Perhaps your previous bad luck is part of the problem. The reason why you can handle it so easily.

Edited April 20, 2013 by tropo

[detinu68]

What's the problem with loving a prostitute or bargirl?

Most of the "problems" have been covered on this lonnnnnnnnnnng thread.

As long as these "problems" don't concern you, then there's no problem.

To be honest, it could considered quite arrogant that she won't find someone she prefers - sooner or later. At 20 working days per month she's going to have a lot of options. Maybe she'll find someone she's actually attracted to, rather than a father figure.

For example, if I sent my wife out to work I shouldn't be surprised if she eventually moved on - it's a numbers game. Just that fact that you're not concerned is almost a guarantee that she's not going to feel bad about giving you the boot. It works both ways.

If living with an active prostitute is better than any relationship you've had in Europe, then you've had a very bad run. Perhaps your previous bad luck is part of the problem. The reason why you can handle it so easily.

Sounds like you are very traditional.

What do I care?

What do I care as long as I'm happy.

Hope you're happy with your 2nd hand girl. A few miles on her tyres?

What do I care?

[tropo]

What's the problem with loving a prostitute or bargirl?

Most of the "problems" have been covered on this lonnnnnnnnnnng thread.

As long as these "problems" don't concern you, then there's no problem.

To be honest, it could considered quite arrogant that she won't find someone she prefers - sooner or later. At 20 working days per month she's going to have a lot of options. Maybe she'll find someone she's actually attracted to, rather than a father figure.

For example, if I sent my wife out to work I shouldn't be surprised if she eventually moved on - it's a numbers game. Just that fact that you're not concerned is almost a guarantee that she's not going to feel bad about giving you the boot. It works both ways.

If living with an active prostitute is better than any relationship you've had in Europe, then you've had a very bad run. Perhaps your previous bad luck is part of the problem. The reason why you can handle it so easily.

Sounds like you are very traditional.

What do I care?

What do I care as long as I'm happy.

Hope you're happy with your 2nd hand girl. A few miles on her tyres?

What do I care?

Obviously you're fishing but it won't work because as I said before, I won't discuss my wife and our relationship on a public forum.

You'll probably consider any relationship that isn't an old man living with a younger working prostitute a traditional relationship.... but I'm VERY traditional... why? Because I won't put my wife out for hire? LOLOL

Edited April 20, 2013 by tropo

[Mighty Mouse]

Life was never meant to be easy. There are a lot of speed bumps along the way. To make the most of your short time on this planet you have to make adjustments, compromises and quite often, you have to accept situations or circumstances that you'd like to change but for various reasons, can't.

It takes all types to make a world, with this thread identifying some of the various, extremist types....from the prudish to the sensible to the brave. The OP is an example of the brave.

I can't speak for everybody but I think the the general consensus of thinking, is that it is unacceptable to share the one person who is nearest and dearest to you....your wife/girlfriend/partner. Share her company, share her wisdom, share her generosity, but never share her body or the type of unmitigated love that she reserves for you.

Just as an aside, in my circle of western friends, I know of two happily married couples who just happen to be swingers. They are always together with each other and leading normal loving lives, but on various occasions they go off to parties where they socialize with other swingers. They then head off to the bedrooms with somebody else's wife or partner. The prudes will regard this behaviour as far too extreme to be acceptable, but there might be some among you who could see some type of benefit in being a swinger. By openly having sex with another man's wife, the very person who stirs your hormones, the benefit might be to bring you and your wife closer together, rather than to risk your marriage by secretly screwing another person behind your wife's back. It's what is regarded as an open marriage. As I stated earlier, it takes all types to make a world.

In many respects, swinging is no different to how the OP is living his life. He shares his partner with her paying customers. From memory, he did mention in one of his posts that he sometimes takes other women. If both he and she are happy with that arrangement, they then have an open relationship.

Whilst such a relationship might not be ideal to them individually, they have had to made certain compromises so as to remain together. Making the best of a bad situation.

Finding true love whilst living in Pattaya is no easy task. It may well be that you need to go to (what some might regard as) extremes in order to find true happiness.

The OP states that he is now in a happy place. He saves heaps of money by not having to pay for sex every time he wants it and he has companionship. Companionship is something that is absent from the casual sex scene.

On the other hand, she has a place to call home, somebody to take care of and somebody to take care of her. She also has companionship.

I note that some of the main objectors in this thread have now somewhat watered down their objections or criticisms of the OP's chosen lifestyle. It's a pity that they didn't take a more liberal stance from the beginning of this thread.

[Thailaw]

Life was never meant to be easy. There are a lot of speed bumps along the way. To make the most of your short time on this planet you have to make adjustments, compromises and quite often, you have to accept situations or circumstances that you'd like to change but for various reasons, can't.

It takes all types to make a world, with this thread identifying some of the various, extremist types....from the prudish to the sensible to the brave. The OP is an example of the brave.

I can't speak for everybody but I think the the general consensus of thinking, is that it is unacceptable to share the one person who is nearest and dearest to you....your wife/girlfriend/partner. Share her company, share her wisdom, share her generosity, but never share her body or the type of unmitigated love that she reserves for you.

Just as an aside, in my circle of western friends, I know of two happily married couples who just happen to be swingers. They are always together with each other and leading normal loving lives, but on various occasions they go off to parties where they socialize with other swingers. They then head off to the bedrooms with somebody else's wife or partner. The prudes will regard this behaviour as far too extreme to be acceptable, but there might be some among you who could see some type of benefit in being a swinger. By openly having sex with another man's wife, the very person who stirs your hormones, the benefit might be to bring you and your wife closer together, rather than to risk your marriage by secretly screwing another person behind your wife's back. It's what is regarded as an open marriage. As I stated earlier, it takes all types to make a world.

In many respects, swinging is no different to how the OP is living his life. He shares his partner with her paying customers. From memory, he did mention in one of his posts that he sometimes takes other women. If both he and she are happy with that arrangement, they then have an open relationship.

Whilst such a relationship might not be ideal to them individually, they have had to made certain compromises so as to remain together. Making the best of a bad situation.

Finding true love whilst living in Pattaya is no easy task. It may well be that you need to go to (what some might regard as) extremes in order to find true happiness.

The OP states that he is now in a happy place. He saves heaps of money by not having to pay for sex every time he wants it and he has companionship. Companionship is something that is absent from the casual sex scene.

On the other hand, she has a place to call home, somebody to take care of and somebody to take care of her. She also has companionship.

I note that some of the main objectors in this thread have now somewhat watered down their objections or criticisms of the OP's chosen lifestyle. It's a pity that they didn't take a more liberal stance from the beginning of this thread.

Your last post is by far your best -- really, the only good one IMHO. And it shows, I think, that those that approve (you) of the OP's lifestyle choice and those that disapprove (me) do not disagree on very much. You say in your post above "

(w)hilst such a relationship might not be ideal to them individually, they have had to made certain compromises so as to remain together. Making the best of a bad situation. (emphasis added)" This is all that I have said -- it is a "bad situation". I would put the word "very" before "bad", but not a major disagreement there.

You also say "I can't speak for everybody but I think the the general consensus of thinking, is that it is unacceptable to share the one person who is nearest and dearest to you....your wife/girlfriend/partner. Share her company, share her wisdom, share her generosity, but never share her body or the type of unmitigated love that she reserves for you." Very (very) well said and I agree with what you say completely. I have no problem with dating or marrying a bargirl, so long as it is in the past tense. When I have a serious relationship with someone, it is "exclusive" or it isn't a relationship at all. Does that mean that one will never stray? Of course not -- people are human. Relationships survive the occasional indiscretion, as they should -- that is a part of love and forgiveness also. I have no view on "swingers" -- not my thing, but up to them. But there is no way to equate what swingers do with what the OP and his g/f are doing.

You say that the OP is "brave". I totally disagree with you there. I would call him "derelict" (adj. 1. Deserted by an owner or keeper; abandoned. 2. Run-down; dilapidated. 3. Neglectful of duty or obligation; remiss. (fits pretty well, huh) See also my earlier post). To live with a woman that engages in regular sexual encounters for money so that you can have a better material lifestyle is not "brave" -- it is cowardly and lazy and, in my view, operating on a totally wrong system of priorities. Many posters have provided good suggestions on how the OP can maintain a reasonable lifestyle and get his g/f out of the bar. He chooses not to do any of those things -- he has choices, he is making choices. What he is doing now is a choice, and to most of us it is clearly the wrong one. I am fortunate in that I do not have to survive on B70,000 per month (the OP's and his g/f's approximate combined income), but I would cut my income and my lifestyle and scrape by on much less (or find a job that pays much more) rather than have my g/f that "I love" (his words) work in a bar as a prostitute. That is, in my view (and the views of most here), a "non-starter".

What I really don't understand is what the OP's g/f gets out of the relationship. I would really love to hear her view of this "relationship". She can have a female room mate and get the same (or better) financial benefits and cost saving as she gets with the OP. And he probably restricts, in some ways, her ability to generate income. He's a relatively old man with not much money that has very little to offer to her or anyone else for that matter, including himself. In that sense, he should enjoy the "bad situation" he is in for as long as it last, which I doubt will be very long.

So, we agree on most of the "big points". We can agree to disagree on the small stuff.

[xylophone]

Quote Thailaw: "You say that the OP is "brave". I totally disagree with you there. I would call him "derelict" (adj. 1. Deserted by an owner or keeper; abandoned. 2. Run-down; dilapidated. 3. Neglectful of duty or obligation; remiss. (fits pretty well, huh) See also my earlier post). To live with a woman that engages in regular sexual encounters for money so that you can have a better material lifestyle is not "brave" --it is cowardly and lazy and, in my view, operating on a totally wrong system of priorities. Many posters have provided good suggestions on how the OP can maintain a reasonable lifestyle and get his g/f out of the bar. He chooses not to do any of those things -- he has choices, he is making choices. What he is doing now is a choice, and to most of us it is clearly the wrong one. I am fortunate in that I do not have to survive on B70,000 per month (the OP's and his g/f's approximate combined income), but I would cut my income and my lifestyle and scrape by on much less (or find a job that pays much more) rather than have my g/f that "I love" (his words) work in a bar as a prostitute. That is, in my view (and the views of most here), a "non-starter".

Congratulations on that post Thailaw, as I think the above sums it up very well, and incorporates much of what I have been saying. Someone who "loves, cares for, respects and wants a long-term relationship" with a girl and lets her work as prostitute actually does none of those things, despite the fact that one poster wants a "definition" of love to prove his point.

Quote Mighty Mouse: "I note that some of the main objectors in this thread have now somewhat watered down their objections or criticisms of the OP's chosen lifestyle. It's a pity that they didn't take a more liberal stance from the beginning of this thread".

Perhaps they now realise that they are only dealing with a pimp and a user, so what's the point in wasting valuable time trying to state the obvious to someone who really doesn't care.

[Mighty Mouse]

I have said -- it is a "bad situation". I would put the word "very" before "bad", but not a major disagreement there.

I have no problem with dating or marrying a bargirl, so long as it is in the past tense. When I have a serious relationship with someone, it is "exclusive" or it isn't a relationship at all. Does that mean that one will never stray? Of course not -- people are human. Relationships survive the occasional indiscretion, as they should -- that is a part of love and forgiveness also. I have no view on "swingers" -- not my thing, but up to them. But there is no way to equate what swingers do with what the OP and his g/f are doing.

You say that the OP is "brave". I totally disagree with you there. I would call him "derelict" (adj. 1. Deserted by an owner or keeper; abandoned. 2. Run-down; dilapidated. 3. Neglectful of duty or obligation; remiss. (fits pretty well, huh) See also my earlier post). To live with a woman that engages in regular sexual encounters for money so that you can have a better material lifestyle is not "brave" -- it is cowardly and lazy and, in my view, operating on a totally wrong system of priorities.

What I really don't understand is what the OP's g/f gets out of the relationship. I would really love to hear her view of this "relationship".

So, we agree on most of the "big points". We can agree to disagree on the small stuff.

First let me applaud you for putting your thoughts into a readable, sensible context and making a detailed contribution towards examining the various aspects of living with a working girl.

I have snipped a lot of your post to leave some of the points that I would like to discuss further.

The Thai girls who enter into prostitution in Pattaya (let's keep it geographically contained) do so (mostly) on a short term basis. I'm guessing that the average time would be about 3 years.

During that time they meet numerous farangs, mostly customers but some under innocent or normal circumstances. Many or most of these girls are constantly assessing the qualities of every man that they meet, hoping to find that one man who is perfect for them.

If you ever ask any of these girls who is their number one man from all the customers they service, they will tell you of that one special person in their lives. If and when they get an invitation from this special person to return to farangland with him, many accept immediately. For both of them, this is the beginning of a relationship.

A large percentage of today's working girls will become the wives of many farangs in the future. I would have another guess and state that the vast majority of members of this forum have ex-comfort girls as their wives/partners.

Re-read what you have written above and consider my point.

In my mind a 'relationship' is not serious unless you both have made a commitment to each other. That 'commitment' can be made verbally or it may just be a strong feeling that is mutually understood and binding, without the need for words.

Again, in my mind, if a commitment has been made there is no excuse for the 'occasion indiscretion'. Through that indiscretion you have shattered a trust. Trust is the most important thing of any meaningful relationship. If you break it, you deserve to lose your partner. If she decides to stay with you, she'd be a fool to ever trust you again.

If you honestly believe in what you have written, then to my way of thinking, you are no better than the swingers as mentioned in my previous post. If you do occasionally take a working girl behind your wife's back, you place yourself below the standard set by the OP.

I regard the OP as brave because he started this thread and he admits living with a working girl. I'm sure that there are others in a similar situation but not brave enough to tell the world.

He knows that this type of living arrangement is frowned upon by mainstream society but he is brave enough to dismiss their views and to try and make a go of it.

I sincerely hope that his relationship is a long and happy one. It could be the story that, one day, would make a good movie.

You ask what does the OP's girlfriend get out of this relationship. I hope she gets as much, or more, out of the relationship than the OP himself.

If she wakes up with him each day smiling and happy, then nobody needs to question her reasons or motives. Maybe she sees a future with the OP that he himself hasn't yet grasped. Perhaps she believes that she can change him by using her money or knowledge to create a business opportunity that will greatly increase his current income. Perhaps she is actively looking at alternative professions/occupations to better endear herself to him....and perhaps I am totally wrong.

There is no crime in what they are doing, their lifestyle in no way adversely affects me, so I wish both of them well.

[Mighty Mouse]

Perhaps they now realise that they are only dealing with a pimp and a user, so what's the point in wasting valuable time trying to state the obvious to someone who really doesn't care.

A pimp is an agent (usually male) for prostitutes who collects part of their earnings.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pimp

The OP does not collect her money. He doesn't need her money to pay his bills. If she contributes part of her earning towards household bills, she is doing nothing different to living in a room with four other girls. Are you suggesting that the four other girls would also be pimps under similar circumstances?

She is not under the OP's control. She is with him voluntarily and she can leave him any time she wants to.

There is not a court in the world that would or could convict the OP for being a pimp.

You are suggesting that anybody who accepts her money is pimping themselves. Get real.

[raro]

I have said -- it is a "bad situation". I would put the word "very" before "bad", but not a major disagreement there.

I have no problem with dating or marrying a bargirl, so long as it is in the past tense. When I have a serious relationship with someone, it is "exclusive" or it isn't a relationship at all. Does that mean that one will never stray? Of course not -- people are human. Relationships survive the occasional indiscretion, as they should -- that is a part of love and forgiveness also. I have no view on "swingers" -- not my thing, but up to them. But there is no way to equate what swingers do with what the OP and his g/f are doing.

You say that the OP is "brave". I totally disagree with you there. I would call him "derelict" (adj. 1. Deserted by an owner or keeper; abandoned. 2. Run-down; dilapidated. 3. Neglectful of duty or obligation; remiss. (fits pretty well, huh) See also my earlier post). To live with a woman that engages in regular sexual encounters for money so that you can have a better material lifestyle is not "brave" -- it is cowardly and lazy and, in my view, operating on a totally wrong system of priorities.

What I really don't understand is what the OP's g/f gets out of the relationship. I would really love to hear her view of this "relationship".

So, we agree on most of the "big points". We can agree to disagree on the small stuff.

First let me applaud you for putting your thoughts into a readable, sensible context and making a detailed contribution towards examining the various aspects of living with a working girl.

I have snipped a lot of your post to leave some of the points that I would like to discuss further.

The Thai girls who enter into prostitution in Pattaya (let's keep it geographically contained) do so (mostly) on a short term basis. I'm guessing that the average time would be about 3 years.

During that time they meet numerous farangs, mostly customers but some under innocent or normal circumstances. Many or most of these girls are constantly assessing the qualities of every man that they meet, hoping to find that one man who is perfect for them.

If you ever ask any of these girls who is their number one man from all the customers they service, they will tell you of that one special person in their lives. If and when they get an invitation from this special person to return to farangland with him, many accept immediately. For both of them, this is the beginning of a relationship.

A large percentage of today's working girls will become the wives of many farangs in the future. I would have another guess and state that the vast majority of members of this forum have ex-comfort girls as their wives/partners.

Re-read what you have written above and consider my point.

In my mind a 'relationship' is not serious unless you both have made a commitment to each other. That 'commitment' can be made verbally or it may just be a strong feeling that is mutually understood and binding, without the need for words.

Again, in my mind, if a commitment has been made there is no excuse for the 'occasion indiscretion'. Through that indiscretion you have shattered a trust. Trust is the most important thing of any meaningful relationship. If you break it, you deserve to lose your partner. If she decides to stay with you, she'd be a fool to ever trust you again.

If you honestly believe in what you have written, then to my way of thinking, you are no better than the swingers as mentioned in my previous post. If you do occasionally take a working girl behind your wife's back, you place yourself below the standard set by the OP.

I regard the OP as brave because he started this thread and he admits living with a working girl. I'm sure that there are others in a similar situation but not brave enough to tell the world.

He knows that this type of living arrangement is frowned upon by mainstream society but he is brave enough to dismiss their views and to try and make a go of it.

I sincerely hope that his relationship is a long and happy one. It could be the story that, one day, would make a good movie.

You ask what does the OP's girlfriend get out of this relationship. I hope she gets as much, or more, out of the relationship than the OP himself.

If she wakes up with him each day smiling and happy, then nobody needs to question her reasons or motives. Maybe she sees a future with the OP that he himself hasn't yet grasped. Perhaps she believes that she can change him by using her money or knowledge to create a business opportunity that will greatly increase his current income. Perhaps she is actively looking at alternative professions/occupations to better endear herself to him....and perhaps I am totally wrong.

There is no crime in what they are doing, their lifestyle in no way adversely affects me, so I wish both of them well.

Amen to that!

[rayongchelsea]

It is not about approving or disapproving, it is about dignity, it is not about being liberal or conservative..simply put it is about living with a prostitute..who chooses to be one when there is no need and an op who thinks it is someway glamorous, different....

There are 2 children involved here..

They will have no friends other than other hookers..it is very unauthentic, they will lie when meeting people, they lie to their families..an exhausting life..

Of course each has to live a life he wishes..but when that impacts on others it needs balance.

If you have children you will know what I mean...it's not all about " me"....

[raro]

one off topic post deleted.

[detinu68]

It is not about approving or disapproving, it is about dignity, it is not about being liberal or conservative..simply put it is about living with a prostitute..who chooses to be one when there is no need and an op who thinks it is someway glamorous, different....

There are 2 children involved here..

They will have no friends other than other hookers..it is very unauthentic, they will lie when meeting people, they lie to their families..an exhausting life..

Of course each has to live a life he wishes..but when that impacts on others it needs balance.

If you have children you will know what I mean...it's not all about " me"....

Please don't put words into my mouth, I have not said I think the relationship is "glamorous".

Her children are 15 and 16 years old and live with relatives north of Bangkok. I've met them once but otherwise have no contact with them. So they are not involved in the relationship.

Edited April 21, 2013 by detinu68

[detinu68]

And if I was a pimp, do you think I'd have just one lady? I'd want at least half a dozen to make it worth my while.

Now there's a thought...

[WinnieTheKhwai]

What I really don't understand is what the OP's g/f gets out of the relationship.

Love?