Why Do Many Farrangs Show Disrespect To Their Neighbors

[slipperylobster]

It is NOT a slur, but if you add a slur - "khi nok" - it becomes one.

LOL...I was trying to be funny....I know what you mean. I was referring to the origin of the word taken from Franks. Please don't take it seriously. On a side note, my wife always warns me not to say "Look, another Farang!" when in public places. I just guess I try to get her to recognize how it sounds. Her family and friends always point out the"Farang". After being called "JOE" in the philippines for 15 years, I lost my sensitivity to any terminology directed at foreigners. Its even funnier when Europeans (especially Germans) are called 'JOE' in the PI. At least the shoe fits, as I am a retired serviceman. from the US. You can see where being called "JOE" might be irritating to non americans over there

[Mickeem]

Why? Because they are boring. Do I want to get really drunk and listen to people yammering over the top of bad music played loudly? No I will stay at home thanks. Sorry if this seems rude to you.

Sounds like a lot of the bars back home. I avoided them there also.

Mind you there was a time when It didn't matter.

What I can't understand is why the wife raises her voice every time she is on the phone. If I turn the TV up that loud she says it gives her a head ache.

Indeed Thai's talk very loudly and it always sounds like they are yelling and upset. I could listen to people speaking French, Russian, Japanese, Mandarin, Vietnamese, but not Thai, listening to Thai makes my ears hurt.

Try staying in a Lisu or Lahu village if you think Thais are loud.. don't forget your earplugs

[ALFREDO]

I suggest you know you are integrated when you are driving with your wife and someone waves or talks to you and wife asks. "Who's that?"

Could be than, the "Mia noi". Fits the description. "Knowing people that are outside your immediate circle of relatives and friends that are focused on your wife."

[loong]

A neighbour's son is becoming a monk.

They had a party that lasted 3 days. Subjecting the whole village to ear-damaging noise levels for 20 or 22 hours per day.

Finally some peace and quiet as it finished yesterday.

The amplifier etc was not collected, so obviously, silly to have it just sitting there, so last night, they treat the whole village to drunken karaoke.

So just to be sure that I understand this thread....

Ther neighbours give the village no choice but to hear their music etc at extremely high volume for 4 days and nights. No consideration at all for those who may have to go to work and need to sleep. No consideration at all about the stress that these noise levels can cause others.

I choose not to take part in the celebration.

I am the one being disrepectful to my neighbours, is that right?

Just before 6 AM and I can hear yet another party start up, luckily it is far enough away not to intrude too much !

[hellodolly]

Do Farangs join in with community celebrations in their own home countries? I'd say they're behaving exactly as they do at home, especially if they're older. The comfort of home is more appealing than an evening of drinking and loud music. Given a free choice I predict that more Thai's would stay at home too.

]I strongly suspect there is more truth in that statement than people believe.

It is an aging population and traveling half way across the country is not as appealing to people as it was in their younger years,I know my wife's mothers brothers and sisters would never dream of coming to Chiang Mai for a family get together they are to old for it and just stay home and celebrate with their neighbors.

The one year it was held in Lampang I noticed none of her aunts and uncles came.

[hellodolly]

A neighbour's son is becoming a monk.

They had a party that lasted 3 days. Subjecting the whole village to ear-damaging noise levels for 20 or 22 hours per day.

Finally some peace and quiet as it finished yesterday.

The amplifier etc was not collected, so obviously, silly to have it just sitting there, so last night, they treat the whole village to drunken karaoke.

So just to be sure that I understand this thread....

Ther neighbours give the village no choice but to hear their music etc at extremely high volume for 4 days and nights. No consideration at all for those who may have to go to work and need to sleep. No consideration at all about the stress that these noise levels can cause others.

I choose not to take part in the celebration.

I am the one being disrepectful to my neighbours, is that right?

Just before 6 AM and I can hear yet another party start up, luckily it is far enough away not to intrude too much !

Well it would certainly bother me. But I came up in a different culture and it is obviously OK to them as they do it all the time.

I would move it is their culture and only they can change it.

[maps424]

how is it that some people choose villages like this one to call home, build huge properties with equally huge fences and then shut themselves out of the community they call home?

Huge fences - could it be that even though you don't hear about crime? It still exists even though you are too naive to understand anything can be different to what you perceive.

When asked for small donations they say no thank you we are not Buddhist. How can it hurt to give such a pittance to the poor around them to build a better school or improve the temple ?

I would be thrilled to pay money to build a better school.

However:

1. money often disappears along the way (especially in thailand where no one monitors anything at all)

2. paying for them to have more gold on their statue is idiotic. honestly - even mentionig this (whch sucks money inito something useless away from something useful) in the same sentence with helping to build a school (that is useful) is ridiculous.

By not joining with them even just once a year many farrangs are missing out on the wonderful culture of the place they call home.

Alot of farang don't speak thai (or like me, speak it but don't speak it confidently), and feel unconfortable at these events. It isn't a show of disrespect - that is only in your mind.

[Cuban]

Good grief, many, if not most people back "home" don't know their

neighbours more than to say good morning........

Living in an anonymous city I can understand that behaviour.

Living in a small community such behaviour is odd.

In 5 years, one neighbour and I didn't share a single word and I had

no idea who lived along our road. Works both ways- they didn't want to

meet me, and visa versa.

Yet, because I move to Thailand, I'm supposed to become a different person- not going to happen.

You don't get invited to many parties do you?

It's a two way street, in my situation from a village of about 300 people I've found ONE Thai resident that seems to dislike me, and schadenfreude causes me to go out of my way to say a cheery "Good Morning" every time I see him.

[Cuban]

ALFREDO Said " Could be than, the "Mia noi". Fits the description. "

Difficult if you are known in the community.

The automated "quotes" editing controls really suck on this site.

[ongchart]

I don't like their parties.

Not even on Songkran? Not even showing up for 15 - 30 minutes? Language barrier is not an excuse - I had an Australian friend who came to visit and stayed a week. He knows a handful of Thai words, but he made sure he part-took in all the food we threw at him, all the parties, outing, making merit at temples..... He had a good time and all the villages remembered him. I think its important for us as foreigners to try to assimilate and be part of their community. Its a form of respect. The effort we make will go a long way towards gaining their respect.

Of course, at the end of the day, there is no right or wrong. Those who want to keep to themselves have all the right to do so. They're just missing out on opportunities to learn more about their Thai spouses' culture, especially ina village setting.

[thaibeachlovers]

Good grief, many, if not most people back "home" don't know their

neighbours more than to say good morning........

Living in an anonymous city I can understand that behaviour.

Living in a small community such behaviour is odd.

>In 5 years, one neighbour and I didn't share a single word and I had

no idea who lived along our road. Works both ways- they didn't want to

meet me, and visa versa.

Yet, because I move to Thailand, I'm supposed to become a different person- not going to happen.

You don't get invited to many parties do you?

It's a two way street, in my situation from a village of about 300 people I've found ONE Thai resident that seems to dislike me, and schadenfreude causes me to go out of my way to say a cheery "Good Morning" every time I see him.

No, didn't get invited to parties by neighbours, and didn't worry me in the slightest. Standing round trying to make small talk with a bunch of people I don't know well isn't my idea of fun.

In Thailand it's even worse- they want me to get pissed as well.

[jmccarty]

My village only has one Thai family and the man of the house has never made any effort to hang out with us Farangs. He does say sawat de kab in passing, but that's the limit. My wife (Filipina) has tried to invite his wife to yoga down the road, but she says she does not want to excersize. For Songkaran last Friday night, they left in their car around sunset and came back about 10:00. Some of the other neighbours and I had some beers and wine around the common pool and we were still there when the Thai family came back, but they opened their electric gate and scurried straight into the house. It may be that people prefer to hang out with their own nationalities first, then others. I suppose there are plenty of Thai's outside of my village gate, and we are not that interesting to the one family inside the gate!

[MESmith]

Best not to live in a village. That way you don't have to worry about all that "socializing" cr@p.

[Cuban]

I don't know well isn't my idea of fun. In Thailand it's even worse- they want me to get pissed as well.

So how do you make friends with people from your own country?

Have a drink and share a few minutes at these events - then you are more likely to be on nodding terms in future.

If you make no effort why would anyone want to bother talking to you?

I certainly get more out of being sociable than I put in in terms of effort or buying a few beers on occasion.

As for all the talk of loud music etc get an SD card with your tunes on it and join in <deleted> !

There is a huge difference between a party involving many people to celebrate an event together and grumpy old falang trying to recreate a 70s disco in his "room".

If you don't like being among rural "low-brow" Thais go live in a falang gated village, just don't complaint about your poor life choices. .

[ARISTIDE]

Andrew Biggs onces said Thai misunderstood farang backpackers and call them farang "khi nok". When in fact the Thai term farang "khi nok" refer to a cheap farang like Andrew Biggs. He eats and shit here but he complain like he hates Thais

[canuckamuck]

I don't like their parties.

Not even on Songkran? Not even showing up for 15 - 30 minutes? Language barrier is not an excuse - I had an Australian friend who came to visit and stayed a week. He knows a handful of Thai words, but he made sure he part-took in all the food we threw at him, all the parties, outing, making merit at temples..... He had a good time and all the villages remembered him. I think its important for us as foreigners to try to assimilate and be part of their community. Its a form of respect. The effort we make will go a long way towards gaining their respect.

Of course, at the end of the day, there is no right or wrong. Those who want to keep to themselves have all the right to do so. They're just missing out on opportunities to learn more about their Thai spouses' culture, especially ina village setting.

If you are of a similar personality type to those throwing the party, go have yourself a time. People know me here, and I know them. I live here full time, I treat everyone with respect, but I have very few illusions left about breaking their stereotypes. If you really want to assimilate go for it, I like who I am already.

[BuffaloRescue]

Most farangs here dont have any respect for anyone. Many i feel have done some pretty horrible things in the past and consequently have lost respect for themselves, no amount of helping in the community or donating to temples is going to change that. When you have been a terrible father, beaten women, lied your whole life and generally been a low life piece of sh** all your life... its simply too late for you! So your only choice is alcoholism, gossiping, trying to steal energy from other people. General jealousy, rudeness and thuggery.

[Kilgore Trout]

Most farangs here dont have any respect for anyone. Many i feel have done some pretty horrible things in the past and consequently have lost respect for themselves, no amount of helping in the community or donating to temples is going to change that. When you have been a terrible father, beaten women, lied your whole life and generally been a low life piece of sh** all your life... its simply too late for you! So your only choice is alcoholism, gossiping, trying to steal energy from other people. General jealousy, rudeness and thuggery.

How many thais work in the us and dont pay tax? How many of them traffic women for prostitution? (just a story about a thai in australia selling her 9 year old daughter)

I find that disrespectful

[BuffaloRescue]

Most farangs here dont have any respect for anyone. Many i feel have done some pretty horrible things in the past and consequently have lost respect for themselves, no amount of helping in the community or donating to temples is going to change that. When you have been a terrible father, beaten women, lied your whole life and generally been a low life piece of sh** all your life... its simply too late for you! So your only choice is alcoholism, gossiping, trying to steal energy from other people. General jealousy, rudeness and thuggery.

How many thais work in the us and dont pay tax? How many of them traffic women for prostitution? (just a story about a thai in australia selling her 9 year old daughter)

I find that disrespectful

That doesnt make it ok for you to behave however you want to in Thailand Kilgore

[Kilgore Trout]

Most farangs here dont have any respect for anyone. Many i feel have done some pretty horrible things in the past and consequently have lost respect for themselves, no amount of helping in the community or donating to temples is going to change that. When you have been a terrible father, beaten women, lied your whole life and generally been a low life piece of sh** all your life... its simply too late for you! So your only choice is alcoholism, gossiping, trying to steal energy from other people. General jealousy, rudeness and thuggery.

How many thais work in the us and dont pay tax? How many of them traffic women for prostitution? (just a story about a thai in australia selling her 9 year old daughter)

I find that disrespectful

That doesnt make it ok for you to behave however you want to in Thailand Kilgore

I'm not saying it does

[MESmith]

Most farangs here dont have any respect for anyone. Many i feel have done some pretty horrible things in the past and consequently have lost respect for themselves, no amount of helping in the community or donating to temples is going to change that. When you have been a terrible father, beaten women, lied your whole life and generally been a low life piece of sh** all your life... its simply too late for you! So your only choice is alcoholism, gossiping, trying to steal energy from other people. General jealousy, rudeness and thuggery.

Can we have some evidence to back up all this verbal written diarrhea, or is this autobiographical?

[Thaddeus]

Most farangs here dont have any respect for anyone. Many i feel have done some pretty horrible things in the past and consequently have lost respect for themselves, no amount of helping in the community or donating to temples is going to change that. When you have been a terrible father, beaten women, lied your whole life and generally been a low life piece of sh** all your life... its simply too late for you! So your only choice is alcoholism, gossiping, trying to steal energy from other people. General jealousy, rudeness and thuggery.

Are you speaking from personal experience, because I've done none of those things, nor have most of the people I know.

[BuffaloRescue]

Most farangs here dont have any respect for anyone. Many i feel have done some pretty horrible things in the past and consequently have lost respect for themselves, no amount of helping in the community or donating to temples is going to change that. When you have been a terrible father, beaten women, lied your whole life and generally been a low life piece of sh** all your life... its simply too late for you! So your only choice is alcoholism, gossiping, trying to steal energy from other people. General jealousy, rudeness and thuggery.

Are you speaking from personal experience, because I've done none of those things, nor have most of the people I know.

Im not saying you have Thaddeus. Im just saying theres a vast number of truly horrible farangs living in Thailand. Of course you can find good people too, but in my opinion the majority are not. You know, like I wouldnt want to introduce them to my mother

[theDukes]

In the first place, we are foreigners. At most the participation that is expected of us in the village is to pick up the tab. Upon seeing the foreigner the reason the welcome mat comes out is because there will be more and better food and drink. Sure there is a certain sense of friendship and folk in the village are very friendly. At the end of the day there is no disrespect from not participating in the daily drunken festivities. It's all about who pays for what and if you feel that it is disrespectful for not picking up the tab time after time then by all means go ahead. Thailand is no different than anywhere else. If you want to join in then do so. To insinuate that it is disrespectful to not pay for everything is just plain stupid. That is what they want you to do. Unless, of course, you believe they like not communicating with you and just pointing and laughing.

[loong]

Most farangs here dont have any respect for anyone. Many i feel have done some pretty horrible things in the past and consequently have lost respect for themselves, no amount of helping in the community or donating to temples is going to change that. When you have been a terrible father, beaten women, lied your whole life and generally been a low life piece of sh** all your life... its simply too late for you! So your only choice is alcoholism, gossiping, trying to steal energy from other people. General jealousy, rudeness and thuggery.

I don't have first hand knowledge of a single Farang that can be described as in your post.

However, I do know of many Farangs that are living with a Thai woman and raising children that have been abandoned by their father with no support at all.

The funny thing is that many Thai women will describe their Thai ex-husband almost exactly as you describe most farangs in your post.

Maybe the farangs that you know of have assimilated fully into Thai culture?

[Thaddeus]

In the first place, we are foreigners. At most the participation that is expected of us in the village is to pick up the tab. .

If it is like that where you live, move, you're in the wrong place or with the wrong people.

Or if you set that precedent yourself you only have yourself to blame.

[theDukes]

You probably missed the part where I said, "Sure there is a certain sense of friendship and folk in the village are very friendly." Don't get me wrong, I love the village folk. They are great and nice people.

Don't fool yourself. Or if you prefer to fool yourself then don't worry about it.

"They love me or they care for me." "I am an integral part of the village." "They listen to me."

Sure, it's all true. Enjoy.

[wigantojapan]

Never been asked for money at any time of my 2 years in the village,,,

[wigantojapan]

In the first place, we are foreigners. At most the participation that is expected of us in the village is to pick up the tab. Upon seeing the foreigner the reason the welcome mat comes out is because there will be more and better food and drink. Sure there is a certain sense of friendship and folk in the village are very friendly. At the end of the day there is no disrespect from not participating in the daily drunken festivities. It's all about who pays for what and if you feel that it is disrespectful for not picking up the tab time after time then by all means go ahead. Thailand is no different than anywhere else. If you want to join in then do so. To insinuate that it is disrespectful to not pay for everything is just plain stupid. That is what they want you to do. Unless, of course, you believe they like not communicating with you and just pointing and laughing.

Thailand is just like everywhere else and i agree with you on that.

From my experience it is the host family who is paying the bulk of the money with aunts /uncles throwing in their share

outside guests in this sense farang are not EXPECTED to pay ,,if they choose to offer that is different ,,but certainly not expected

guests are there to get as drunk as the hosts that is expected,,bu it never felt pressured when i said i didnt drink or smoke etc

[wigantojapan]

about dukes comment about the welcome mat coming out because there will be MORE and BETTER food and drink

had to laugh at that one

Never been to a party in the village where they run out of food NEVER in fact the food normally lasts for days just like xmas

Better food ...dont know where he is coming from on that either

all of the food at the village i am at comes from the village or the surrounding villages

The pigs and chickens eat healthy food with no steriods added to their diets so the people are eating quality meats,

much much better than your supermarket meat .even your average Thai market whee you dont know how the animal has been reared .

with all the foods been bought in local villages the money keeps in the local village so everyyone is related to each one so the village benefits.

better drink......the thais dont scrounge on amount of drink and usually it is a better quality Thai whisky rather than your cheap 35b shxxx

More drink.....again there is more than enough to last for days

so again have to disagree with you on that

if you mean foreign drinks of better quality well,that is a different discussion.......