Be Polite

I know, it is so easy to get upset. The police stops you for whatever,

you read the newspaper and come across some nonsense spoken by a president or prime minister.

Just say 'you have no hemorrhoids'.

I mean it sounds polite, sophisticated. Until, of course, you remember that 85% of all men have got hemorrhoids. The remaining 15% are perfect a**h*les.

Should you come across a female who makes you upset,

'you are a big, white bird' will do the trick and again is much more polite than

'st*pid goose'